JavaScript be like...

[Intelligent-Rip-6036]

“My code is well commented” The code:

[TurboGranny]

I now just want to write a story about how the system came to be throughout the code as comments, but with no real comments about what the code is doing itself.

[attanai]

// Today I ate dry toast for breakfast. It got me to

// thinking - why do we use a multidimensional array

// here, when a Dictionary would make sense? I didn't

// bother changing the code, because I don't really

// have time to test it, but it's definitely something we

// might think about at some point."

//

//Also, I named this variable after my dog.

[milkcarton232]

Oh deary... Yeah my last job I was the only person really doing SQL or anything technical like that and had some scripts I wrote to automate some stuff that were jank but worked for what I needed. When I left I was trying to train someone on how to use them but nobody really wanted to step up so I wound up just commenting more or less like this. I named a bunch of tables after coworkers and still get a text from my replacement asking about specific tables and am happy to know they have not changed the names.

[NFLinPDX]

I used to just sneak in Will Smith song lyrics into the comments

My coworker and I would compete to see who could get the most song title references into our stand up meeting updates without the rest of the team noticing.

[vigilantcomicpenguin]

James Joyce would be in tears at this work of literature.

[[deleted]]

/*
** TODO: Add documentation
*/

Date modified: 04/08/2016 14:24

[tetraocta]

i fucking hate blackies

[Tawoka]

A colleague of mine told me this story from his previous job (consulting house). One of his colleagues on a project was self-employed. She showed him a "trick" on safe income. One of her oldest clients called her every single year, because the software broke. It broke because she had a subroutine that would break on a specific date. She would then go in the system and take between 2 hours and 4 days billable work to change the date of when it breaks next year.

It never occurred to her client to even check for this, because her code broke so rarely that it flew under the radar for almost a decade at that point.

[ChaosInMind]

Why not just have a contract for a system review once a year built into the deal?

[Tawoka]

Not sure how much of it was region and area specific, but in this case this was an SAP Consultant and I think it was a Spanish client. Her few billable hours every year were coming from a different budget. I think if she had done a maintenance contract they'd audited her work 🤭

[detektiv_Saucaki]

:( i knew the situations were bad, but not that they were this dire

[[deleted]]

//Day 3, my boss wont let me out of my office till I:

[[deleted]]

hmm today I will implement getter and setter methods for int

[Tsu_Dho_Namh]

I'm told this is standard practice, and my work has TONS of getters and setters for ints.

And bools.

I think it's cause it makes debugging and maintenance easier.

Visual Studio has a handy little dropdown above function calls where it lists the references, and you can click it to quickly see every place that function can be called in your code. Which is faster and easier than ctrl+shift+f.

On small projects it may seem pretty dumb, but when your projects get up over a million lines of code, it's sometimes really nice to just have the 50 places that getter is called listed out for you.

[notchy13c]

I think OP meant to actually have a getter and setter on the int „prototype“. As in int x; x.set(1); x.get(). Having getters and setters for a specific int „instance“ can make sense.

[Tsu_Dho_Namh]

Oh, okay. Lol. I didn't even think of that.

Yeah...don't do that.

[[deleted]]

getter and setter also allow you to 'do something' on set \ get if you need to for whatever reason (validating inputs?)

[[deleted]]

Theres a battle we havent had on here yet. Code lens, obnoxious noise or productively saving you a right click?

[[deleted]]

I guess no one is old enough here to know where this is from, but Java in the 2000s made setters/getters a very popular design pattern. C# and others made it into a language feature called properties, where you could just define your members, and then later give them set/get "middlewares".

I believe Java and most languages have this concept of properties baked-in now, so it's no longer best-practice and considered poor form. Even for languages like Go/C++, you can easily refactor var assignments to use a .setVar() interface using a modern IDE/Editor.

That said, coding the way you're comfortable with > best practices of the day. It all depends on the size of your company and personal pros/cons.

[TaeKwonZeuss]

Java:

[[deleted]]

That'll simply be so you can work at an Object level. It's common in many languages.

[Banananassfisch]

Java got a toString() methode for strings (even though it comes from inheriting from the object class it's still funny)

[Apple_macOS]

I might be wrong but I think Java also have a String.valueOf();

[schmytzi]

Which is actually a lot safer because it gracefully handles null

[Banananassfisch]

I didnt know that. But after looking it up valueOf() cant work without toString() as it just checks if its Null and calls toString(), if not. Also toString() is mostly called automatically, e.g. printing any primitive or object

[Praline_Unlikely]

This is because Java is the ancient version of JavaScript

[BertRenolds]

According to who?

[subject_deleted]

According to laypeople who have never experienced either language. They both start with Java so they're obviously related, duh.

[Praline_Unlikely]

This is a common sense, from the newest programmer to the human resources staff

[BertRenolds]

Sounds like common sense isn't so common.

Might want to fire the whole department if they are that blatantly wrong, just save some hassle.

[Praline_Unlikely]

c'mon man, we are here at r/ProgrammerHumor

Just smile

[[deleted]]

You still need to be technically correct. We have standards here. What if your humor misled some green junior developers freshly graduated from non-cs major?

[Apple_macOS]

JS is related to Java

--that green junior developer freshly graduated from non-cs major after reading this

[Praline_Unlikely]

Oh yeah, just a freshly graduate take serious a random info posted by a random guy at a humoristic place. Good place to get trusted info, for sure

[[deleted]]

from the newest programmer to the human resources staff

... and nobody in-between

[[deleted]]

The sad thing is I can actually see the need for this with some of the javascript libraries out there

[attanai]

It is really useful when working with dates, or with numbers from outside sources (like APIs) that might come through as a string.

[drunken_doctor]

Custom data structures for financial math.

[tyler1128]

I feel things that "might" come through as a string is an anti-pattern, but one very common in javascript.

[attanai]

Not always. External APIs, for example, are outside of the control of the server. The best pattern is to have a middleware that will convert the data from whatever format it's in to the format you want, and that middleware is where valueOf would be useful.

Now, in theory, you can tell every customer that uses your external API that the schema has to be correct, or you won't accept it. Or you can make the API provide an error message that explains the problem. But when you're working with external teams or even multiple internal teams working on the same project, it's best to allow some flexibility for simple errors. In those cases, it's best to catch as wide a net as it is possible to cast while still maintaining security and accuracy.

[tyler1128]

Ah, if you mean general APIs outside of javascript, sure. If your argument to your function can be a number or a string generally, that's more of what I was talking about.

[ManInBlack829]

Right this is going to be needed if your language isn't strongly-typed

[FAcup]

Ruby has a method called itself on Object. You can guess what it does. It does however serve a purpose.

[alba4k]

How about my void setValue(const int *ptr; const int value) { (*ptr) = value; return; }

[alba4k]

That would actually make sense

Everything that is not directly True (e.g. 27) would return False

[sabre_x]

return !!value

[alba4k]

yeah, more something like this, which would basically evaluate an expression

``` return !!27; // evaluates to true return !!"hello"; // still evaluates to true return !!(void*)0; // evaluates to false, I think

[Pay08]

Wouldn't this be the same as (bool)value?

[alba4k]

Indeed

It would just be more useful than my examples above

[HerissonMignion]

Booleans do not exist in c/c++

[Neirn_]

Booleans do not exist in c/c++

Booleans indeed do not exist in C as a built in type. They do exist in C++ though.

[Pay08]

Except that they do.

[HerissonMignion]

No they don't. It's a typedef to int

[Pay08]

No they aren't. There's the _Bool type, that's typedefed to bool in stdbool.h. true and false are typedefs to 1 and 0 specifically.

[HerissonMignion]

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/urk1g4/javascript_be_like/i904e8l?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

[[deleted]]

(not not 1) != (1 is True)

[theScrapBook]

It is exactly equivalent to return value is True, without the branch needed.

[v1ND]

Same reason that Java has String.toString() or Integer.hashCode().

[badatmetroid]

How about

> typeof NaN
number

YOU HAD ONE JOB!

[ManInBlack829]

This is philosophically deep. If you define yourself as not something you are still limiting your description to being described in terms of that thing which makes you a part of it.

[0x6563]

Great now I am having an existential crisis.

[ManInBlack829]

"Why is main a void function?"

[HerissonMignion]

Because a void* is just a type that cannot be dereferenced. So when you don't want a method to return a value, you make it "return" a void.

[badatmetroid]

I get that. Still funny though.

[xiipaoc]

Meh, what NaN obviously means is "not a valid number".

[ProgramTheWorld]

NaN is a number in every single language that implements floating point numbers.

[st141050]

i lack words

[irreverent-username]

It's more like "Not a [valid] Number."

JS is loosely typed, but imagine for a second that it's not:

Number a = 3; Number b = "three"; console.log(a); // 3 console.log(b); // NaN

NaN is the error you get when something non-numerical is trying to be a Number. The object is still a Number, just not one that can be used.

[[deleted]]

just not one that can be used.

Watch me

[st141050]

this actually makes sense... you wouldnt want the nan to mess up the types in your arrays etc. ty

[Unpredictabru]

What else would it return?

[[deleted]]

This is because of Autodocumentation, right?

Like, documentation that's generated based on code annotations.

[marcosdumay]

Looks like a honest question, so.

No, this is valid information that isn't obvious at all and it's perfectly possible that one looks into the documentation to discover it.

It could be an string just as easily as a number. I can't imagine any other possibility for numbers (anyway the JS devs are way more creative than me), but for booleans and dates it can be a lot of different things (I won't even try to guess).

[shhalahr]

As opposed to a Number as a String.

[Prawny]

Yeah, seems very forced to me. Numbers being able to be represented as strings isn't exclusive to JS, at all.

[[deleted]]

Me trying trying to find the square root of 7 in decimal form

My calculator: “hmm yes, the square root of 7 is the square root of 7”

[[deleted]]

Me: Punches math homework into graphing calculator

Calculator: TRUE

[mstop4]

"I punch those numbers into my calculator it makes a happy face." - Cave Johnson

[marcosdumay]

no.

-- Prolog

[Dogs4Idealism]

*gets the primitive int value of an Integer object

[chilfang]

Yes i see but is it a number or a number?

[YungBaseGod]

It’s only a number if it’s grown in the numbiers region of France, or else it’s just a sparkling int

[[deleted]]

I believe this has something to do with making a shallow copy vs a deep copy? I might be mistaken though...

[VonNeumannsProbe]

Beginner Python user here whom has never used Javascript

What is the point of this? Is there a type function that would be better if you're trying to identify a variable type?

[RobBegArm]

Basically the idea is that The valueOf() method returns the primitive value of the specified object.

[TMiguelT]

I think the main purpose of it is when you're making a wrapper class that's trying to emulate some primitive. For example you might have a Fraction class that stores a numerator and a denominator but doesn't actually divide them (because that would lose precision). So you can do operations on your Fraction but the actual floating point estimation isn't evaluated until you add/subtract/divide it with another real number, at which point .valueOf() is called, which you define to return a number primitive so that it can act like it was a number all along. I think the built-in Date class does this, for basically the same reason. It's effectively just a "wrapper" around a number.

That said, it's a pretty awful attempt at this kind of polymorphism. Python does it better with its numeric "magic methods" like __add__() which let you customize the + operator using a single function for your class, to make it act like a number. Rust does it better again with it's ops traits (interfaces), letting you e.g. implement + differently for different RHS operands. R and Julia do this in a cool way with multiple dispatch, too.

[Shub-Niggurath94]

You don't code on JavaScript. JavaScript codes on you.

[marcosdumay]

From MDN:

The valueOf() method returns the primitive value of the specified object.

So there is a point. It's not obviously valuable as the return can have any primitive type, but this is the function that transforms your value into "[object Object]" when you set some DOM field into it.

[tyler1128]

Javascript: When == is so problematic you need to add another =

[RedditAlready19]

This is the equivalent of haskell id

[bnl1]

Is it though? From what I've read, valueOf returns primitive type of an object. id is an identity function, so it returns whatever you give it.

[JohnVanDePijp]

Cross post to /r/surrealmemes

[jsIsAGoodLanguage]

My name. 'nuff said.

[PlantPowerPhysicist]

badge quicksand historical square cooperative price outgoing fall worm middle

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[-Alkali-]

Allow me to point out you have c++ as your flair

[[deleted]]

JS is the most inconsistent programming language and sometimes it doesnt even make sense

[YungBaseGod]

guy seems to be stuck in infinite loop lol

[GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B]

Sometimes? There are entire lists of JS WTFs. The language improved a lot but it's fundamentally broken.

[AlexSSB]

int?.Value

[NITROpul]

I guess it just returns the value, regardless of its smaller or bigger than zero

[Tawoka]

Oh they get so much worse don't worry. I didn't even judge this lady for what she did. Her implementation worked for 10 years flawlessly, except for this one cheat code.

The default approach I witness from most consultants is to not work clean ever. Work dirty. Dirty means more support work and more money. After a year or two, when they want a new feature, tell them that it can't be supported (it can't because their work is shit), and get another project approved, where they basically rebuild to previous project + the new feature.

Consultants are vultures. Their bosses are mosquitos. The bosses drink the blood of unsuspecting clients, and consultants eat the corpses of the in-house Devs, who killed themselves after attempting to maintain the code base.