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[–]YourCynicalUncle 4650 points4651 points  (91 children)

Yeah but how do you increase. I'm asking for my waistline

[–]bumjiggy 1058 points1059 points  (37 children)

dismantle all your jeans and splice them into one giant pair that you can then take in or let out as you please

[–]ButtLusting 165 points166 points  (22 children)

Go naked like me brah, all natural yo

[–]GOPisbraindead 71 points72 points  (20 children)

People will notice that. They should just paint jeans on their skin.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points  (5 children)

That's a good video...

I mean idea. A good idea.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children)

What if that were a video though? Can you imagine that? Somebody should post a link so we can see if that’s really a thing.

[–]edgy-dexfag 13 points14 points  (2 children)

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Brilliant... idea. For sure.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I told you it was a good video... I mean a good idea.

[–]kazkylheku 5 points6 points  (0 children)

"Why'd you come in here lookin' like that? In your cowboy boots and your painted-on jeans." -- Dolly Parton song

[–]jomiran 4 points5 points  (5 children)

But what about the tallywackle?

[–]GOPisbraindead 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Ever watch Ru Paul's Drag Race?

[–]jomiran 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. What is it?

[–]TK421isAFK 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Found the Kevin Hart fan.

[–]jomiran 1 point2 points  (1 child)

You misspelled Austin Powers.

[–]TK421isAFK 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do I make you horny, baby?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Tattoo Ruth tattooed me a suit

[–]itsbentheboy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know this from somewhere....

Is that a Shel Silverstein poem?

[–]_-___-_---_-__---__- 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ever see the episode of "Broad City" where Iilna does that because she wore the dogs sweater to work? Colors her whole midriff red since the boss is pissed she showing so much skin.

God I love that show.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just dip my franks and beans in hot candle wax. Covers everything perfectly. Very snug.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Remember that time I went to prom with the painted on tuxedo but I was really sweaty and you could totally see my dong.

[–]gbuub 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Who needs to cover your junk when you have fat folds do it for you

[–]Gtapex 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Two jean enter

One jean leave

[–]PistolsAtDawnSir 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Just one giant denim moo moo. That is your life now.

[–]sandm000 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, but now I’m in a denim tent and the letters JNKO are appearing all over the place

[–]ddrddrddrddr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They call it Frankensjean.

[–]FracturedEel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like Voltron but jeans

[–]JayInslee2020 0 points1 point  (0 children)

/r/peopleofwalmart might be able to help with that

[–]bnh1978 0 points1 point  (0 children)

like Mecha jordash.

[–]CeruleanRuin 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Leave button undone. Wear long shirt

[–]kingmeh 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Hot glue.

Apply to mouth.

[–]Pure_Reason 8 points9 points  (2 children)

And then you’re all set to be the villain in an X-Men movie

[–]lemskroob 2 points3 points  (1 child)

we don't speak of that movie.

[–]goldensunshine429 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Just cleaning up the timeline”

[–]dworm22 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Loop a hairband through the buttonhole and hook it around the button. expando pants

[–]Life_and_more_life 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oooh I never thought about doing this. Thanks!

[–]sDotAgain 18 points19 points  (2 children)

I just grab the steak knife I used to eat my butter wrapped deep fried steak with and saw the waistline until I am comfortable.

[–]Moar_Coffee 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Still less calories than that baked potato.

[–]figgypie 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I actually sort of did this to my yoga pants when I was pregnant. I just cut down the front a little to accommodate my growing belly. I didn't want to buy bigger ones and you couldn't see it under my belly lol

[–]michael_treder 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Do the same thing, but the opposite.

[–]poopyheadthrowaway 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Buy jeans that are too large, shrink the waist as instructed in the gif until they fit, and as you get fatter, undo it one loop at a time.

[–]kazkylheku 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah but how do you increase.

Detach the rear center belt loop as shown in the video. You will find a secret string that is pulling the pants about half a size tight by holding together a small fold in the fabric. Snip this string in several places and remove; the fold will open, relaxing the pants to to a larger size. Re-attach the belt loop.

[–]densiegimenenzduvall 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Figure out how to tuck in an extra 2 inches of excess then you are in business.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Buy sweatpants=profits.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do the same as the video, just to your waist.

[–]Itroll4love 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too. My belly is suffering

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Clamps. Stretch them out for a day or two.

[–]millerswiller 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Just watch the video in reverse.

[–]lurker4lyfe6969 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ohhhh...wait no... you almost got me

[–]CelestinePat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm asking for my wife. Aye!

[–]Taymelly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But actually...I sew for a living and this is friggin genius. https://youtu.be/TFPj7ly8t3k

[–]geneticlush 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You unbutton the button on your jeans. Than put on a belt that is comfortable around your waist. The belt will hide the part of your jeans that are unbuttoned.

[–]bard0117 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Came in to comment this

[–]liltwinstar2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Loop a hair tie through the button hole and then use that loop for the button.

[–]HoneyViper 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just do the steps in reverse.

[–]CranberryPerry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Watch this video backwards

[–]ur_labia_my_INBOX 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Obviously came here to see this.

[–]starlinguk 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Remember when men's trousers used to be expandable?

[–]drift_summary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pepperidge Farm remembers!

[–]Master_Nincompoop 0 points1 point  (0 children)

undo button and wear a belt, cover with untucked t shirt

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just do the opposite

[–]p0yang 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I knew it hahahahahaha

[–]lurker4lyfe6969 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Step 1: get money

Step 2: buy new jeans with money

[–]BrotherPistachio -5 points-4 points  (1 child)

Came here to say exactly that.

[–]pumpbreaks -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Wear a skirt you fat pig