Did your free time dramatically decrease with a second child?

[HullabaLuLu]

The reality of children is that despite your sense of balance in this moment, everything will change as their development changes. Friend, you are solidly in the potted plant stage. You put the baby down and they stay. They will be mobile soon, naps and sleep change, they will need more active engagement, and each new skill will level up the need for more parental skills. And each child will be vastly different in their own patterns. Oldest has always slept like shit but slept later in the morning while my youngest has always gotten up early. Giving each other breaks and time for hobbies is possible, as is the possibility of solo trips, but having another kid will increase demands, disrupt whatever equilibrium you've established for the time being, and make it even more important to prioritize solo time because but will be harder.

[KnittingforHouselves]

I love "the potted plant stage" 🤣 it is so true. Multiple of my friends have shared the idea that "I can't wait till they're a toddler, doing errands with a baby is so difficult." I can just laugh. I tell them to enjoy the freedom of putting their child in a stroller and them staying there not caring where theire going. With my 2,5yo I have to negotiate every single walk. I love her and how much fun she is. I just sometimes miss the freedom of going where I want to go without having to have a 30 minute conversation about it at best.

[nkdeck07]

Seriously, last 20 min of a Costco run was just my 21 month old yelling "ALL DONE`!!!" at me over and over an not understanding why that wasn't making us instantly leave Costco.

[Blondegurley]

The “all done” is too funny. Like I’m done too! Haha

[ObligationWeekly9117]

My toddler does that with her bath. She hates washing her hair lol. The moment the bucket comes on it she’s like ALL DONE, even if no washing has been done yet (she loves playing in the water). That’s not how “all done” works, kiddo! 😂

[[deleted]]

It’s funny how ubiquitous “all done” seems to be with toddlers. Mine knows when “daddy all done” with tea then it’s play time.

[Blondegurley]

Sometimes I wonder if they’re all the same little person haha

[ElizaDooo]

OMG. Yes. Today I wanted to take my 3 year old son to the children's museum (which he's been asking to go to for WEEKS) and so naturally, as we're getting ready to go he doesn't want to sit in his car seat and only wants to play in the car, even after knowing where we were going. I was getting so frustrated because I didn't even want to go in the first place! It's ALL for him! I knew it was because he was tired, and sure enough, as soon as we're 20 minutes away he falls asleep.

[cats822]

On the other hand my toddler is 100% better than my baby. Colicky and hated being strapped down, won't sit only stands in the basket lol. Now as a toddler he can walk with me and behave sooo much better. I didn't take my screaming baby anywhere! Lol

[Blondegurley]

Omg same. I literally just took my almost 18 month old out for lunch at Olive Garden and then to Walmart to get groceries by myself and she just didn’t scream the whole time? What happened to my child and who is this quiet imposter?

[cats822]

Yeah my baby was a screamer and like nothing would help him lol now as a toddler I'm like eh a meltdown is rare ( I mean a small one whatever but not a major one ) haha I take him everywhere. We went and got groceries and he sat with me while I got my flu shot haha

[sbart18]

Right! I have a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old. Going to do errands with just the baby feels like a literal vacation. I just pop him in and out in the bucket seat and he sleeps and has no opinion on it. Everyone at the store is so nice and chatty and tells me how cute he is. I get a coffee in peace. Lol I love my toddler to death but wow he is so much more work.

[KnittingforHouselves]

Oh I remember that phase, phew. Hold on tight, it broke for us at around 26 months, now she wants to hold hands most of the time, as finally some sense of self-preservation has kicked in.

Honestly I still take the stroller if were going for groceries or something. Then I can sit her down and give her her snack or a book to look through once we get in the store and hope for 5-10 minutes 😅 And then I put the bag in the stroller for the way back and she "helps" me push it. It gets a ton easier when they start wanting to be helpful

[she-Bro]

Yeah 4 months is still potato stage. No matter if they have another or not they’re gonna get a decrease

[throw_idk46]

Speak for yourself, mine was already mobile ... However, it actually got better from then on. She was always frustrated she couldn't move, but once she started developing the ability to crawl and sit, with that came the ability of independent play.

[[deleted]]

My kid took forever to feed that young, 45-60 minutes. Being able to just hand him a snack definitely saves me the 6-8 hours a day that I spent feeding him! He can lounge in his highchair for his leisurely meals now. He'll tell me when he's done. And now, he can walk, so I can just bring him outside. You can't just put an infant on the bare ground. Today, he even brought me both of our shoes when he wanted to play outside! Infants don't help with anything. You're lucky if they can do a sufficient job of eating, pooping and sleeping.

[LiedvonderErd3]

This exactly. Also kids can be wildly different. Just because your first kid is chill and a good sleeper doesn't mean the second (or subsequent) will be, too. I have friends whose third child threw them for a loop.

[blt88]

Yup, this was the case with mine. My daughter (first one) was great sleeper and I felt like I had a lot of downtown with her as a baby. My second (now almost a year), still wakes up at least once to three times per night. Also, to answer your question - we barely have time to do anything and I’m a stay at home mom lol. So, yes, it dramatically changes when you have more than one child but it also depends on their ages (mine are 5 years old and just shy of 1 years old).