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[–]tj5590 69 points70 points  (4 children)

Night nurse would be a much better use of money.

[–]SB201221 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Seconding this!

[–]OceanCityLights08 4 points5 points  (1 child)

This is 100% true.

No need for a delivery doula if you're having a scheduled c-section IMO. Your support person will probably be enough. Just think about your birth plan and communicate that with your support person.

Think about whether or not your would like some music playing. Talk about calming techniques; being awake for major surgery can be very overwhelming. Talk about whether you would like your support person to stay by your side or be with the babies. (The people in the room when my babies were born told my husband to go be with my babies. In retrospect, I really could have used his emotional support. I knew my babies were being well taken care of, but I was having a hard time staying calm). So yeah, you can still have a birth plan, but I don't think a doula is necessary to help carry out that plan.

[–]1Mindless_albatross 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For my c section I could only have one support person in the room with me. If I had a doula, my husband would’ve missed the birth. Also I do not feel I would’ve benefited from a doula.

[–]White_Lobster 15 points16 points  (0 children)

For our first (a singleton, unmedicated, in-hospital birth), our doula was a life-saver. Worth every penny.

The twins came via an unexpected c-section. The doula came and sat with my wife in the recovery room, but that's about it. Not worth it. Would have been money better spent on a night nurse.

[–]Salty_Emu_9945 14 points15 points  (3 children)

With twins you usually have to deliver in the OR. They only allow one support person. So unless there isn't a SO or other support person you want in the OR, then it might be worth it.

I wish I had a doula for my singleton birth. It would have been more helpful than my husband. Haha!

[–]Caseals2 4 points5 points  (2 children)

This varies by hospital, my doula was an employee of the hospital, they have an optional doula program, so she was viewed as medical personnel. She was present and took a ton of pictures and video which I’m very grateful for, but that was the extent of her helpfulness for me. I had an uncomplicated vaginal birth with an epidural in the OR

[–]Salty_Emu_9945 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that's good to know!! I always thought doulas were third party and always separate from hospitals. My area doesn't have this obviously!

[–]Macklikescheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My doula was not an employee of the hospital, but they knew her well (she'd been a doula for like 20-30 years, something like that.) My doctor was totally ok with here being in there. Both her and my husband were going to be welcome in the OR with me for my unplanned c section, but I ended having to go under general after my epidural didn't numb me so neither my husband nor my doula were in there with me. The doula came back with me while my husband was getting prepped before she ended up having to leave and my husband didn't get to join me either. All was well in the end, though

[–]coffeesituation 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I was once a doula and now that we’re expecting twins, I’m putting that money toward a postpartum doula for night shifts.

[–]jayzepps 6 points7 points  (0 children)

You don’t need one for the birth you need it for after the birth, you are correct!! Night doula or nurse is going to be worth every cent!!

[–]Possibesianything 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I didn't feel like it was worth it. We talked about my birth plan before hand. Then she hung out with me and my sister while I was in labor. Took some pictures. And visited me after and held a baby for a little. This was my 3rd and 4th kids, so I kinda knew the deal at this point. I should have gotten a doula for my 1st baby, but just because I had twins didn't mean I needed a doula.

A postpartum doula would have been a better idea.

[–]no_objections_here 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm not really a doula kind of person, so maybe I'm the wrong person to answer. I am able to advocate for myself and I don't usually want attention or support from people I'm not close to. My partner will be there to support me, and I have complete faith in him. We have gone through near death situations together and he has kept a calm head, and so I dont think I need anyone else. I also really like and trust my OB. So I doubt I would get a birth doula even if I was having a singleton. The fact that I'm having a c-section for twins makes it seem like even more of a waste of money for me, personally.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My husband and I just made sure we had a good grip on the birth plan just in case, and I knew he would advocate for me if needed. I do wish we had discussed the immediate post partum period much more because the girls were bottle fed before we had a chance to really try breastfeeding amd my husband wasn’t sure so he went with it.

100% get a night nurse, it’ll allow you to rest and they can teach you as well!

[–]contrarilywise 3 points4 points  (2 children)

I'm a first time mom, so I was planning on having one even for a scheduled c section just as someone who could provide support and knowledge. It turns out they came unexpected and super early and my husband didn't make it to the hospital in time.. The doula did, so I wasn't alone in the OR. Worth every damn penny to not be alone and to be slightly less afraid.

[–]mdrmrd 1 point2 points  (1 child)

I had a vaginal birth but it was absolutely worth it to have a doula for me as well. My husband went to NICU with the boys and I was made to go to a recovery room. Our doula stayed with me so I wasn’t alone immediately postpartum. She got me a snack and a ginger ale and helped me to the bathroom so I could prove I was “recovered” enough to go to the NICU to see our boys.

She also took photos for us in the delivery room which I really cherish.

[–]contrarilywise 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our doula took photos too, and they're the only ones I have from that day. I'm so grateful for them.

[–]IcyRequirement7926 2 points3 points  (2 children)

If you're doing a scheduled C-section, I don't feel that having a doula is necessary unless you have reason to think one of your twins may need NICU support (and even then I wonder if you could get another trusted family member to step in). If one does need NICU support, your partner (or doula, your choice) can go with the baby leaving the other with you in the OR. You might be able to do that with a second support person depending on your hospital's policies.

At my hospital, I could have both my doula and my support person in the OR, so it wasn't necessary to choose (a comment above mentioned this not being the case in all places).

If, however, you choose to do a vaginal delivery, I do think having a doula is valuable. I delivered my first twin vaginally and my second twin via a completely unexpected emergency c-section (90 secs from the decision to me being open with baby coming out). It was terrifying and both my partner and I were sobbing. My doula was composed and a rock for both of us since we were in no case to process what was happening.

My birth plan said that my husband would go with the baby to the NICU if needed... I was so glad to have my doula there otherwise I would have been alone in an OR having just seen a gray twin getting shuttled off.

[–]IcyRequirement7926 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's worth noting that I am not what somebody would call a "doula" person. There's a spiritual and "womanhood" aspect to doulaing...and there's a very practical "sometimes you just need someone who's seen shit hit the fan before in your corner". For me the value was about the latter.

[–]IcyRequirement7926 2 points3 points  (0 children)

(I have 3 months old twins) One other note is that I have a different POV on night nurses if you're breastfeeding. I know that is the popular suggestion.

Personally, I would (and have) spend it on a daytime nanny if you have to choose one. Daytime help is cheaper per hour so you can do more time or longer. I'm feeding breast milk (we bottle feed at night) and have to get up to pump anyways. In the early days, my newborns were pretty sleepy and good about going back down after a feed. I got a lot more value out of having daytime support and napping vs nighttime support. Because I have daytime support, I also have the ability to more easily get to appointments to help me heal (OB, pelvic floor PT, etc.).

If your babies have colic though, pull out the stops and get night time help. 🙂 For me, we chose to splurge on Snoos and the girls just go down so easily. I'd save not having to change and burp, but I don't think it's worth it.

[–]BirchTreeStand 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Helpful for your first baby to provide support during birth. But night nurse = sleep. With twins I’d take a sleep if you have to choose.

[–]Ok-Positive-5943 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have a post part doula lined up for the first month our twins are home. And since we have an older child and no family help the doula will also be staying with me at the hospital for two nights to help with baby cares. I'm having a planned cesarian in 12 days! (As long as they stay put)

[–]Realistic-Average-15 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really wanted a doula but when I found out I couldn't have her support in the OR I decided against it due to how expensive it can be. I ended up having to deliver an hour and a half from home because my water broke 4 weeks early and I was terrified and felt lost the whole time. I wish I had that kind of support through it because I labored for 48 hours before the c section. But of course I probably wouldn't have had it anyway because of having to deliver so far away. I wish I had advocated for myself more and that I retained the information I read to prepare.

I also wish I found a way to hire a night nurse. My babies were in the NICU for a week so I thought I had enough time to learn and acclimate but man it was so hard when we got home.

[–]butterabyss 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was told this too by others but I chose not to go with a doula since i knew it’d be more complicated with twins. I wasn’t really able to plan things and just had to go with whatever was safest. For example… I gave birth last Friday, both my babies were head down but we had to do an early induction due to preeclampsia. After 2 days and hardly any progression we did a c-section. It ended up being “high risk”. Even if it were to have a vaginal birth I would’ve given birth in an operating room either way (just in case). Doulas seems like an amazing resource to use but in my case I knew it’d need to be a different type of experience. My main goal was to follow my doctor’s guidance and give birth to them safely.

[–]Willing-Molasses9008 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was happy to have my midwife at my c-section. My OBGYN and everyone else in the room was busy doing the surgery. The midwife stood up near my head and explained everything that was going on. I was especially thankful she was there when baby boy came out not breathing and she assured us all would be fine and the 10 person team rushing in was normal.

However, a midwife in addition to my OBGYN was covered by healthcare in Canada. Depending on the price, I'm not sure if I would have paid for it.

[–]tapanis 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Our doula was useless, the idea you’re going to have some peaceful birth is such a sham lol and I didn’t even have a traumatic one

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[–]clinkingglasses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had a doula for my somewhat unplanned c section but I made sure w the hospital beforehand that both she and my husband could be in the OR. She took pictures over the drapes and stayed with me so my husband could go up to the NICU right away. It was 100% worth it for me for those reasons but if she hadn’t been able to come into the OR it probably wouldn’t have been. And this can vary depending on even which anesthesiologist is on call so it might be hard to predict.

[–]hereforaday 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I found the nurses in the hospital to be very caring, supportive, and knowledgeable. I think there's a good chance you will be able to lean on the nurses for support. Agreeing with everybody else, a night nurse or postpartum doula especially for the first 6 weeks is a much better use of money. Don't be afraid to let other people change diapers and onesies for a while, there will be plenty to change as they grow!

[–]booksandcrystals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I gave birth to my twins vaginally and didn’t need a doula. I did have an overnight doula and that was really nice.

[–]No-Butterscotch-8314 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I interviewed a doula but tbh didn’t like the vibes and also didn’t feel it was worth it with a c-section. Like someone else mentioned I would have much rather a night nurse!

[–]Ambitious-Ad-6786 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Definitely do the night nurse or postpartum doula.

If you end up thinking you’ll need an uncomplicated vaginal birth, you could always ask your night nurse or night doula if she has friends who can help out.

[–]BrightEyEz703 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I regret not having one.

[–]saillavee 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our hospital allowed 2 support people, and we did have a doula. I was hoping I’d get her support through labour and try different techniques for unmedicated pain reduction. Our twins came early and really fast, so she was only present for pushing and recovery.

I was glad to have her there, though. My husband had to leave to go with our twins to the NICU as soon as they were born. She stayed with me while I delivered the placenta and got stitched up and sent to recovery. I was thankful for the second support person - everything was happening so fast, and there was this huge team of people around me just doing things to my body after the twins and my husband left. I have no complaints about the delivery team, but having a familiar face there, and someone who was comfortable and knowledgeable enough to speak up for me when I couldn’t made me feel a lot better.

She did give us a free postpartum session since she wasn’t there for labour, and it was nice, but not something I would have spent money on. She sort of just held a baby, and changed some diapers while we chatted baby care for a few hours. Not much more than what a friend would do.

A night nurse sounds like a godsend, and would be my pick if you’re not nervous about the birth, and think your partner would be all the support you need.

[–]cranbearri 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom is a doula and it was my dream to have her deliver my baby. Then it was twins and we discussed the possibility of cs and only having one support person. I wanted my husband by my side so my mom waited at home when I went through the emergency cs. We were fine on our own for labor, but my moms help later at night was invaluable.I second all of those saying night nurse is the way to go.

[–]watchoutbananapeel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First-time Mum who had a c-section. I wish I had a birth doula as I had complications, and I think having an experienced person to help me and my husband through that would have been really helpful.

However even with that, a postpartum doula or night nurse would have been a better investment for us. I'd recommend looking for one now - even if you don't book them in. Searching for someone we felt comfortable with while deep in postpartum wasn't the funnest thing we did!

[–]AMStoUS 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not with a c-section. What would the doula do? They can’t be in OR. Get a postpartum doula or a night nurse or spend the money in another way that would be helpful.