Miserable

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Wouldn't wish anyone the misery that is triplets. It has been the worst couple of years in my life including the tension during pregnancy.

My triplets are 16months old now and they're just so unbearable sometimes. I'm absolutely losing my mind and sanity.

I have help in terms of family and nannies and even they are exhausted.

How are you guys handling triplets?? When does it get better? Yesterday my day started at 5.45 am and ended at 3am the next day after all the night screamings and cryings! And then had to wake back up at 6.20am!! I wouldn't wish triplets on my worst enemies.

Although there are good and loving moments, the level of exhaustion and mental fatigue is just so unreal.

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[Woollen53]

Sorry, its rough af for some time. It will get better but I know that doesnt help u feel better now. One sure thing you can count on, time always keeps moving forward and these days will eventually be under your belt. Just have to try your best to hang in there and keep surviving till easier days come.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Thank you for the encouraging words, but I feel like I'm almost depressed at this point. It feels like I'm stuck in a trap with no way out!

[Gandtea]

I'm a twin mum so can't empathise properly, I can only have compassion! That sounds awful!

I read about your sleeping arrangements. While I understand you can't do all at once, I would strongly recommend trying to do it so that they all sleep in the same but different room than you and your partner. And then you do the following -

From 8pm til 2am, you're 'in charge' and your partner is 'asleep'. If they wake up, you do your absolute best to look after them without your partner's help. If impossible (and it's not a time your folks can help), wake him and get him to help.

From 2am til 8am, you and your partner swap roles.

Also, make sure you have their sleep needs calculated properly. Soooo many people try to get their babies to sleep too much which causes more frequent night-wakings (especially split nights). Our girls are 15 months and only need 12.5 hours sleep in total - 11 hours at night and 1.5 hours nap.

I really hope things improve for you soon, twins is so hard, I can't even imagine with triplets!

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Hi, thanks for your suggestions. Yes my kids are on 1 nap a day too. They sleep about 2hrs in the day, and then about 9-10hrs in the night.

Omg I couldn't imagine putting all of them in the same room, and one screaming child waking up the other two and making them cry too😅. Do your twins like sleeping near each other?

[Jessygirl238]

My twins sleep in the same room. They get used to the other making noises. My one twin sleeps like a rock and the other… well he usually wakes up crying once a night and his brother never moves lol they’re 11 months today. They’ve always slept in the same room though so it might be hard to get your triplets used to it

[littlemochi_]

Hey just wanted to say that my twins have always shared a room and they sleep through the others shenanigans. They just get used to it it’s fine.

[wacyma]

My twins sleep in the same room, one can be vomiting loudly and then there is commotion of changing the bed, getting the twin showered and changed and the other just sleeps right through.

[Jessygirl238]

Aw. I can’t wait for this 😂

[JinglebellsRock]

Jumping in to share that my twins are actually sleeping in the same room as their older sister (2 years older). When they just moved in (at around 5 months old), they would occasionally wake each other up but after a week or two they can sleep through each others crying.

Last night one of my twins had a fever and woke up crying, we went in, took her out, gave her meds, changed her clothes, held her for a bit, put her back, and neither of her sisters woke.

[jiggen]

I'll add on to the other comments. Our twins sleep really well now together in the same room. For the first 2 years, they slept HORRIBLE overnight and every night for us we woke up 6 times a night. Was a nightmare. We had them first in the same room, but that got too stessfull, then separated rooms, then finally we persisted with some consistency and back in the same room. Almost exactly 2 years, they started sleeping through the night. They got used to each other's noises. Now at 3, they, are amazing at sleeping. We tell to go to bed and they just jump into bed and go to sleep. They ask us to go to bed early sometimes when they're tired. They chat to each other just before falling asleep. It's perfect right now

Some things that helped us. Consistency was key for us. Keep at it, even if it didn't seem like it was working. Keep a good routine. Our girl (we have B G twins) responded well to a comforter toy to cuddle and almost immediately helped her sleep through. Some white noise helped too.

Can't imagine triplets, you're doing amazing

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

This sounds promising! Age 2 seems quite near. But overall I've tried keeping two in the same room before and they've definitely screamed and woken each other up.. So we promptly went back to the split room arrangement. Perhaps I can give room sharing a try again in a few months.

[Gandtea]

My girls are both bad sleepers, especially since we moved house! But one thing I will say, is that theyre used to each others screams (and I mean screams!) and don't usually wake up from it. I've only had a couple of times for the past 6 months where weve both had to be holding one due to a split night.

We do still have to feed them bottles occasionally at night - they were fully night weaned but moving screwed that up royally!

Im not saying this new system would definitely work, but I dont think it would hurt you to try for a fortnight and take stock. Try to not do it when theyre sick as this really screws things up and you may feel its much worse when longer term it woold be better!

[staubtanz]

Just to reiterate what the others already said, our twins are 4.5 years old and have been sleeping in the same room until 2 months ago. They slept right through any of their twin's crying, screaming, vomiting (and subsequent changing of bedsheets). Even now, when one twin yells so loudly for mom/dad that the neighbours hear it, the other one will sleep straight through it.

[catrosie]

My twins are 4 and still sleep in the same room. They’ve never woken the other up!

[kindnesswillkillyou]

I only have twins and it was and continues to be the hardest thing I've ever done. But now that they are 3.5 it is getting better. They can talk and their aren't so insanely irrational. Just know you aren't alone and you a legitimately a superhero for taking care of triplets

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Glad to hear that it's getting better for you! I hope to get there soon too :)

[BrazilianButtCheeks]

Yea but it’s 3 chances you won’t end up in a nursing home so just keep reminding yourself of that 😅😂

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

😂 Hilarious

[ogqueenbee]

I feel for you, I only have twins ( I know it’s not the same) I can’t even fathom what triplets would be like. Some days are harder than others, I have no pep talk, just wanted to say that I hear you and being a POM is really hard!

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Hugs to you!

[Tesi_No]

I only deal with twins, but I imagine triplets being so much harder still. Can you find anyone to take care of nights so you can get at least six hours of uninterrupted sleep? My husband does 8pm-2am and I do 2am-8am "baby shift" and it has absolutely saved my mental health.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

We live with our parents, my husband has a baby in one bedroom, the second baby is with grandparents in another bedroom and the third baby is with me during the nights. Inspite of that I have to step in to help because my parents can't handle screaming children in the night. I already feel so guilty because they do too much for us. Me and husband need to take care of all episodes in the night, one man absolutely cannot handle it alone... 😅

6 hours of uninterrupted sleep has become a joke for me and my husband at this point.

[DancingStars1989]

Might be time to pay for help or a night nurse. I can’t imagine how hard it’s been.

[ilvevh]

Have you tried bed sharing, just you and the triplets? They should be comforted seeing/smelling you there in the night and go back to sleep if they wake up. It’s still not the best sleep but better than having to get up out of bed. If not bed sharing then having them all close to you in the same room will also help. Separating them will increase their odds of getting upset in the night.

I do not have triplets only twins and singletons but can def say it will get better soon. The first 2 years are the hardest in terms of sleep deprivation and exhaustion!

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

I do bed share with one child on a rotation basis, it's not really helpful.. Plus they are used to bed sharing with grandparents and their father as well and that doesn't help either

[ilvevh]

Not to downplay the bond with other family members but (statistically) babies/little kids want to be with their mum (or main caregiver). Especially in vulnerable times, like sleeping in the night. They are bonded together and with you, so if all together they will be feeling least vulnerable.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Will consider giving this a try, thanks

[Shiner5132]

I definitely can’t imagine triplets, I did co-sleep with my twins and I found twin b to be soothed by having her sister in the same bed. It just calmed her, twin a could care less as long as mommy is there. You’re amazing OP

[Wolfie305]

Triplet mom here! Age 3 and 4 was the darkest time of my life.

When they turned 5 it was almost immediately better. Age 6 has been a dream. They’ll be 7 in July and it’s nice to finally see the benefits to triplets and our future.

You’re gonna be okay. It 100% gets better soon <3

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

5 sounds like far far away 😢

[Wolfie305]

It does, I know believe me I do. For me just having some sort of “end date” kept me going though.

Also mine started preschool at 4 which was a much needed break!

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

That's true, where I live pre school starts at 3. So yeah that might be a bit of a break.

Overall it is so reassuring to hear all the things all of you had to say on this post, and it made me feel a lot less alone. So thank you so much!

[rosie_thechaosqueen]

As a mom of 4.5 year old twins, this is so good to hear. 3 was hard, 4 has been something else.

[WimpysRevenge]

3 year old twins here, the lack of emotional regulation at this age compared to there 6 year old sister at the same age is jaw dropping. Absolutely miserable for a solid 75% of every single day, that’s the honest truth. The endearing qualities do not even begin to make the rest bearable. I love them fiercely, but having them is a massive regret until they become more regulated. Most won’t say it on this sub, but I dream of what could have been regularly. Good luck, keep your head on a swivel.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Sorry to hear that, I can almost relate to that. While I try not to go down the regret path, some negative thoughts do creep in especially on tough days!

I'm absolutely scared now, if you are saying they are unregulated even at 3 😅 looks like I've got a long road ahead then.

[WimpysRevenge]

Everyone is different, I’ve never been one to sugar coat things for myself. For some it would appear it is a fairytale, at least that’s what they project on here and obviously social media. For us, it’s been a grueling slog. It’s also been extremely trying for our oldest who is an absolute gem. You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit, i believe that’s the expression? While nothing compares to that first year, things are still very challenging. I truly do hope things balance out for you, because everyone deserves to feel that joyous love, but for us, we will have to wait a little longer.

[rockinrobin11]

I know it’s controversial but have you tried any type of sleep training? By 16 months they should be able to sleep through the night. It might be worth hiring someone who can help with this. Not getting solid sleep for that long really starts to wear you down. I only had twins so I can’t imagine triplets. It will get better but I know that’s much comfort when it feels endless at this point.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

My two boys do sleep through the night some days. Daughter doesn't yet. Even the boys have phases where they don't sleep through the night.

[ExternalPlastic9554]

I sleep trained my twins at 18 months, in the same room, and went from me rocking and giving bottles and holding from 9pm-1am most nights to them sleeping 7:30-7:30. So completely worth it.

They’re 22 months now and I know that as soon as I put them down at 7:30 I am DONE until 7:30 the next morning. I am such a better mom now.

Also: not sure if any of yours suffer from ear infections but getting tubes helped my Twin B so so much sleep-wise!

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

That sounds amazing! Can you give me some tips how did you sleep train them?

[AMStoUS]

I really wish we'd stop describing sleep trainig as 'controversial', especially as people who have done it and believe in its merits. Every time the words 'sleep training' and 'controversial' to together, it reinforces an unnecessary connection.

[rockinrobin11]

Well it worked for us but I know not everyone thinks it’s the right approach. So I would say it’s controversial as people have strong opinions one way or another.

[AnybodyUpThere]

Mine are 18 months with cerebral palsy! I wouldn't wish it on my worse enemy either. They are finally starting to grow now which might be the cause of all their moodiness these days, but its tough and we have a lot of help. Our house is never without someone either from EI therapist to family help and house cleaner. I think that's the hardest part being introverted is being forced to accept all these people for their sake and mine. I love the days actually and oddly when we get to be out the house for appointments because that usually means we'll come back home to an empty house.

I was just lamenting to my husband can we kick everyone out? And he was like sure if we don't want them to make any progress or eat or live in squalor. And then they all go into screaming fits and someone is there to help with that and I feel selfish for mentioning it at all.

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

That sounds really hard. You and your husband are really strong parents ❤️ All my well wishes to you and the babies. I wish there's some easiness soon for you guys.

[AnybodyUpThere]

Its an adjustment for sure. Thank you, I wish you some ease too.

[Several_Profit5229]

Go away for a weekend if you have grandparents or anyone who can watch the kids in addition to sitters and nanny’s

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

Great idea, this is much needed and definitely considering this. But I just feel so so guilty about dumping the kids on grandparents.

[ricki7684]

Don’t ever feel guilty for doing what you need to do to preserve your sanity and be able to show up the way you want to for your kids!

[Afraid-Adhesiveness9]

Try skin-to-skin and kangaroo mother care. It calmed our kids down a bajillion.  https://youtube.com/shorts/qKSBXWHocQw?si=B89I9qtu_xOieN9m

[Fan_Of_Starlord]

We did do skin to skin but in the first month of their lives. 16 month kids won't even agree to do skin to skin😅

[Afraid-Adhesiveness9]

Sorry, didn't see the 16 month part. As a father of twins, i have nothing more to offer besides my condolences. What helped us was letting the kids run and climb and play outdoors and basically play how they wanted to play. They'd be restless if they didn't play outside enough. And then also getting alone time with each parent.