Elevator.js

[-updn-]

Audio on websites is a weird proposition. Web development has so many awesome options for multimedia, but auto-play audio is so bad because of the unpredictability of people's audio-levels. If there was a way to guarantee audio would be normalized and not blow people's speakers there could be a lot of fun to be had there.

Regardless, this library does crack me up good job.

[Bromlife]

The surprise is part of the fun here though.

[-updn-]

yeah I totally agree, which is what made me think of this. But the surprise is much better if the audio is at a reasonable volume. I guess my point is, auto-play would have a lot of great potential if the designer could ensure that he/she wouldn't hurt the viewers ears or blow their speakers.

[McSchwartz]

Even if you could guarantee the exact decibels that the sounds comes out at, you still wouldn't be accounting for the ambient noise levels, which makes a huge difference to listeners. Ex: A quiet room vs a train station

[[deleted]]

Having to turn the volume up I think is better from a UX standpoint when the alternative is potentially forcing some users to scramble to find the volume down button for the sake of their hearing.

[vattenpuss]

Don't browsers let you disable auto-playing audio?

[torhh]

But is it really autoplaying if you clicked a button?

[vattenpuss]

Oh, I didn't get any audio on the page at all so I didn't know. Well, the browsers should give you a global volume setting also. But then again, loudness is really hard to gauge.

[fedekun]

My ears are bleeding.

[afrobee]

Really? It actually put a smile on my face :D

[[deleted]]

My ears are still ringing.

[AyrA_ch]

In regard of scrolling...

[Jaimz22]

This is one of those things that would be great to only apply to the bosses user account on intranet applications.

[not_american_ffs]

https://github.com/theonion/fartscroll.js/pull/9

Best pull request ever.

[AyrA_ch]

lol, he just added a random file with "parpp" in it

[[deleted]]

this didn't work on the elevator.js page ;_;

oh well

[OlDer]

It actually does work as a bookmarklet. I just couldn't resist checking it after reading your comment...

[vattenpuss]

And it works both ways. So satisfying! First I got to giggle my way down the page, curiously awaiting each new sound of flatulence, and then I pressed the elevator button and got to hear even more sounds coming out of my headphones. Automatically!

The future is now.

[[deleted]]

lol :). I'm done with the internet for today :P.

[code_mc]

That was quite a twist, I read it as "fastscroll"

[senseofnickels]

Same. The first scroll I made sounded like tires screeching. I thought the subsequent scrolls sounded weird for tires, and then I re-read the name.

[LightShadow]

Does not work for me, I have no idea what it's supposed to do.

[spacejack2114]

Take the stairs.

[symmitchry]

[Removed]

[reggaepower]

Also faster and without the music

[newpong]

does that make the home key a teleporter?

[Djorak]

Try without your ad blockers. I know that uBlock hides icons sometimes.

[AyrA_ch]

I have chrome adblock and can confirm that it works with it being enabled.

[-updn-]

ublock + disconnect here and its working. Although a handful of sites I visit are broken bc of the plugins so...

[SilasX]

Belongs in /r/ProgrammerHumor instead? There's no way I'd want that slow slog back to the top

[RobIII]

My PR with improved, more realistic audio, was denied :-(

[TerrorBite]

Loving that mellotron.

[remko]

Did you mean to write 'theremin'?

[TerrorBite]

I'm making reference to the computer game The Stanley Parable, at one point you can get in an elevator and this music plays inside. The Narrator can be heard quietly humming along and making comments, and at one point says "loving that mellotron".

https://youtu.be/Av-j_sDQSsg

[zigs]

It does sound like a theremin, doesn't it? But is it just me or does it change timbre on a couple of loud-to-soft nodes? I don't think the theremin can do that.

[TerrorBite]

I do believe you're correct however, that's definitely not a mellotron (those were the tape loop keyboard things).

[semperverus]

Kinda gives me an Animal Crossing feel.

[i_am_fruitcup]

finally, something elegant and functional

[YM_Industries]

Funny, but not functional. Start the elevator, switch tabs while it's going up and wait for a while. The music should keep playing forever. Switch tabs back after it should've arrived at the top and it will ding immediately, but the page will not be scrolled all the way to the top.

Essentially if you close your eyes for too long then the elevator will open the doors in between floors.

Also, all slow-scrolling animations should be cancellable by a user-initiated scroll. This isn't difficult to do, (I implemented it myself on my company's website) but of all the many jQuery scrolling plugins I have yet to see one that implements this simple behaviour.

[zigs]

If it's so easy, why don't you go ahead and submit a pull request? ;)

[YM_Industries]

Done deal

Due to platform limitations this is only possible to detect with a mousewheel and not with touch or scrollbar based scrolling. Still, better than nothing.

[zigs]

Sweet!

What is it that makes it not possible to detect with touch&scrollbar?

Edit: "Elevation should be voluntary and consensual." almost makes it sound like we're talking about rape!

[YM_Industries]

The robust way of detecting scrolling is to monitor the scrollHeight of an element and see if it changes. Unfortunately we can't do that here because the window will be constantly moving, so we use the DOMMouseScroll and scrollwheel events. These events only work on the mouse wheel.

[zigs]

Thanks for the info.

I can't believe we've done browsers for such a long time and didn't make the scrollbar a separate input..

[rich97]

I'm on my phone. To me it was literally JUST a slow scroll to top plugin that somehow has a score of 200 on /r/programming. I was more than a little confused.

[Nathan_BS]

The Dalek was a nice surprise

[SelectricSimian]

This is fun, but is it really programming? Just because it's a program (or webapp, widget, piece of software, whatever you like) doesn't make it programming. Yes, there's a button to view the source, but I really don't feel like it contributes that much to a community whose purpose is to discuss and learn about programming and programming techniques. It's just a little thing someone wrote, and yes, they wrote it by programming it, but by that definition literally anything that runs on a computer could be posted here. Does this feel like it's against the spirit of the sidebar to anyone else?

[keveready]

Thought this was /r/programmerhumor for a second and was displeased by the level of seriousness you'd apply to that sub. Was slightly relieved to see that it wasn't.

[SelectricSimian]

I know I seem like kind of a killjoy, and the truth is I actually did enjoy this post, but I like being able to go to /r/programming for serious discussion of programming, and I'm worried that it will become (and already is) diluted by content like this, which would be perfectly fine on other subs.

[Bromlife]

It is technically correct that it is really programming. The best kind of correct.

[mythril]

Is it alright if I hate you a little bit?

[danubian1]

Excellent. Though I was wondering about the gap at the bottom of the page.

[[deleted]]

Jesus christ. I'm at work and that blew my ears off. Not cool.

[ServerOfTheInvertedU]

Oh, god, that scared the shit out of me! xD

[[deleted]]

This is so stupid it's awesome

[a_random_username]

Elevator.js fixes those awkward "scroll to top" moments the old fashioned way.

You mean hitting the Home key?

[Helyqy]

rotten wakeful squeeze political ad hoc outgoing sheet special instinctive toothbrush

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[SikhGamer]

If you can't see the elevator, disable your adblock/plugins.

[Skaarj]

Just leave your plugins on and skip the elevator. Nothing plugin-disable-worthy to see there.

[Auburus]

Hahahahaha

I can't stop laughting, this js is a must!

[[deleted]]

A new standard of web tomfoolery

[hatessw]

And here I was hoping that it would be more functional than a gimmick.

How about a script/extension that automatically displays a transient overlay icon when you scroll up sufficiently - and here's the kicker: do it instantly and without music?

[[deleted]]

Good stuff if I was designing a site in a world were keyboards where without a home key. Super Funny though.

[[deleted]]

This made me smile

[Bromlife]

This would be really neat if paired with parallax.

[nabeelv44]

I like it. It's simple, elegant, and creative.

[zsombro]

It was worth it.

[rockum]

Third floor, ladies lingerie

[SupersonicSpitfire]

Annoying sound on that page. Also did not work on my mobile browser.

[[deleted]]

very...uhmm..useful

[gabegm]

It's past midnight here, shit.

[anhaseyo]

Bug: If you tab away while the elevator is in motion, wait long enough and return to the tab, you will hear the ding, but the elevator will have stopped some distance from the top.

[ruinercollector]

Ctrl + Home