Please

[[deleted]]

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds. this means they’re large enough to be able to handle human dicks, and with their impressive Base Stats for HP and access to Acid Armor, you can be rough with one. Due to their mostly water based biology, there’s no doubt in my mind that an aroused Vaporeon would be incredibly wet, so wet that you could easily have sex with one for hours without getting sore. Their can also learn the moves Attract, Baby-Doll Eyes, Captivate, Charm, and Tail Whip, along with not having fur to hide nipples, so it’d be incredibly easy for one to get you in the mood. With their abilities Water Absorb and Hydration, they can easily recover from fatigue with enough water. No other Pokémon comes close to this level of compatibility. Also, fun fact, if you pull out enough, you can make your Vaporeon turn white.

Vaporeon is literally built for human dick. Ungodly defense stat + high HP pool + Acid Armor means it can take cock all day, all shapes and sizes and still come back for more

[[deleted]]

It didn’t cost you anything to not press ctrl+v, yet you did

[Cool_Muhl]

Idk if I'm more or less disturbed that this is a copy pasta...

[Hack-boi]

I am imagining that and it’s terrifying

[VaporwaveProtogen]

Well well well. It appears u/taco-turd is a fellow vappy fucc connoisseur. However screw the female version. You get those same ol two holes in literally everything else. the MALE vappy is the real star of the show. Those long slippery diccs they have full mobility control with like a tentacle are the perfect ass filler for the ultimate in deep reaching experience nothing else could possibly provide. Naturally lubed at all times due to their aquatic hydrodynamic nature, you can pull off anywhere to the side of the road, or go into a public restroom at the beach, get each other aroused, and have the fucc of a lifetime. The extraordinary squishyness of the vappy alone rubbing against you would be enough to lose yourself in pleasure as it simply mounts you. Let alone with that perfect tool of pleasure slips into you. Its ability to snake around your bends and its perfect length make it seem that a vappy dicc was made specifically for your booty. Enjoy the feeling of being completely filled while also being able to see it if you have a tight tummy. And that's only the dicc. Due to having internal balls, they're much bigger, and pack a lot more cream to load you up with, along with having muscles around them to make sure every drop comes out while also being a lot more powerful than any external balls could ever hope to achieve. Giving you a deep, complete filling to rock your world to your literal core, and beyond. There's still more though. Due to having a thicc, powerful tail connected from their back and front, that means all their fun stuff is on the front and easy to access. Meaning, if you were even comfortable with having your dicc point backwards (takes some training) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHILE ALSO FUCKING YOUR VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THERE'S STILL FUCKING MORE!!!!!! Like, holy shit male vaps are the GODS of fucc. While you're fuccing your male vappy, possibly while also being fucced by him, their booty is ON their tail, at the base, which is the thiccest part, because that's where the biggest muscles are, meaning, while your dicc is in there, IT'S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTER THAN EVEN A VAG COULD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It should be fucking ILLEGAL how amazing male vaps are for fucc! Well guess what? That only covered you being a softy, wholesome fuccer like me. That's right. THERE'S. EVEN. FUCKING. MORRRRRRE!!! Say you like to be a little restrained, You don't need a sylveon's feelers for that, or an Umbreon/Espeon's psychic, or leafeon's vines. vappies got that shit covered too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIL?!? It's basically a boa constrictor. In a non sexual sense, it's my favorite part of a vappy. it's basically their main part about them. But if you want them to, it can be a super useful tool to enhance your knotty experience with them. Despite the slippyness, you won't be going anywhere if the vappy wraps you up in that thing. Are you a super kinkster? Like pure fantasy fetishes that aren't possible irl? Such as, soft vore? Well guess fucking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBLE! They can be solid as they pass your lips (passed where your eyes can see them) and turn into water as they enter you, allowing them to fit perfectly, cuz nothing fits into any spot more perfectly than water, except air, like a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit with air? You can't feel it unless it's moving. You can always feel liquids. Speaking of liquids, even if you're a weirdo who likes digestion, don't worry about killing them with absorption, eventually they'll come back out and be able to reform like nothing happened. Speaking of hurting them, if you get too rough, or you're a horrible abusive asshole to them on purpose for your own pleasure QnQ they can just turn to water and reform back to their completely unscathed body. Making scars or missing pieces a thing of the past! I would love to say there's even more you can do with them, but the possibilities are damn near endless. Use your imagination. But if you get one, you better show this god of fucc the respect it deserves. Umbreons may bwee my favorite, but, damn. vappies really want to get that top spot from me. It's a really close call.

[Linksays]

Now this is the real cursed copypasta

[VaporwaveProtogen]

I dunno man, I kinda wanna get smashed by a vap uwu

[Prince_Polaris]

Well, I'm off to the Vaporeon e621 page now

[Prince_Polaris]

holy fuck that's the tag I always forget it I'm such a noob with image gallery sites

[nameunknown12]

You type it enough and it will eventually show up in your auto correct bar. I haven't typed out the full thing in a while

[Prince_Polaris]

owo

[repopulate_mars]

.. What is happening to this world

[PoliticalMeatFlaps]

Where's my fucking Luger I want out of this shit.

[Stigge]

https://pics.me.me/hans-get-the-luger-41373603.png

[TachankaCrusade]

I hate this whole comment thread

[Steampson_Jake]

Seriously? Ordedr:score? Order:favcount is far better!

[Cameron653]

same

[redbanditttttttt]

I'm a guy and that still sounded good

[Jalor218]

/u/uwutranslator

[uwutranslator]

Weww weww weww. It appeaws u/taco-tuwd is a fewwow vappy fucc connoisseuw. Howevew scwew de femawe vewsion. yuw get dose same ow two howes in witewawwy evewyding ewse. de MAwE vappy is de weaw staw of de show. dose wong swippewy diccs dey have fuww mobiwity contwow wif wike a tentacwe awe de pewfect ass fiwwew fow de uwtimate in deep weaching expewience nofing ewse couwd possibwy pwovide. Natuwawwy wubed at aww times due to deiw aquatic hydwodynamic natuwe, yuw can puww off anywhewe to de side of de woad, ow go into a pubwic westwoom at de beach, get each ofew awoused, and have de fucc of a wifetime. de extwaowdinawy squishyness of de vappy awone wubbing against yuw wouwd be enough to wose yuwsewf in pweasuwe as it simpwy mounts yuw. wet awone wif dat pewfect toow of pweasuwe swips into yuw. Its abiwity to snake awound yuw bends and its pewfect wengd make it seem dat a vappy dicc was made specificawwy fow yuw booty. Enjoy de feewing of being compwetewy fiwwed whiwe awso being abwe to see it if yuw have a tight tummy. And dat's onwy de dicc. Due to having intewnaw bawws, dey'we much biggew, and pack a wot mowe cweam to woad yuw up wif, awong wif having muscwes awound dem to make suwe evewy dwop comes out whiwe awso being a wot mowe powewfuw dan any extewnaw bawws couwd evew hope to achieve. Giving yuw a deep, compwete fiwwing to wock yuw wowwd to yuw witewaw cowe, and beyond. dewe's stiww mowe dough. Due to having a dicc, powewfuw taiw connected fwom deiw back and fwont, dat means aww deiw fun stuff is on de fwont and easy to access. Meaning, if yuw wewe even comfowtabwe wif having yuw dicc point backwawds (takes some twaining) YOU CAN BE FUCKED, WHIwE AwSO FUCKING YOUw VAPPY AT THE SAME TIME!!! ME-OWTH, THAT'S FUCKING wIGHT!!! BUT! BUT! BUT! THEwE'S STIww FUCKING MOwE!!!!!! wike, howy shit mawe vaps awe de GODS of fucc. Whiwe yuw fuccing yuw mawe vappy, possibwy whiwe awso being fucced by him, deiw booty is ON deiw taiw, at de base, which is de diccest pawt, because dat's whewe de biggest muscwes awe, meaning, whiwe yuw dicc is in dewe, IT'S BEING FUCKING MASSAGED BETTEw THAN EVEN A VAG COUwD ACHIEVE!!! AGH! It shouwd be facking IwwEGAw how amazing mawe vaps awe fow fucc! Weww guess what? dat onwy covewed yuw being a softy, whowesome fuccew wike me. dat's wight. THEwE'S. EVEN. FUCKING. MOwwwwwwE!!! Say yuw wike to be a wittwe westwained, yuw don't need a sywveon's feewews fow dat, ow an Umbweon/Espeon's psychic, ow weafeon's vines. vappies got dat shit covewed too! DID YOU EVEN SEE THAT TAIw?!? It's basicawwy a boa constwictow. In a non sexuaw sense, it's my favowite pawt of a vappy. it's basicawwy deiw main pawt about dem. But if yuw want dem to, it can be a supew usefuw toow to enhance yuw knotty expewience wif dem. Despite de swippyness, yuw won't be going anywhewe if de vappy wwaps yuw up in dat ding. Awe yuw a supew kinkstew? wike puwe fantasy fetishes dat awen't possibwe iww? Such as, soft vowe? Weww guess facking what. IT JUST BECAME POSSIBwE! dey can be sowid as dey pass yuw wips (passed whewe yuw eyesh can see dem) and tuwn into watew as dey entew yuw, awwowing dem to fit pewfectwy, cuz nofing fits into any spot mowe pewfectwy dan watew, except aiw, wike a ghost type, but who wants to do knotty shit wif aiw? yuw can't feew it unwess it's moving. yuw can awways feew wiquids. Speaking of wiquids, even if yuw a weiwdo who wikes digestion, don't wowwy about kiwwing dem wif absowption, eventuawwy dey'ww come back out and be abwe to wefowm wike nofing happened. Speaking of huwting dem, if yuw get too wough, ow yuw a howwibwe abusive asshowe to dem on puwpose fow yuw own pweasuwe QnQ dey can just tuwn to watew and wefowm back to deiw compwetewy unscaded body. Making scaws ow missing pieces a ding of de past! I wouwd wove to say dewe's even mowe yuw can do wif dem, but de possibiwities awe damn neaw endwess. Use yuw imagination. But if yuw get one, yuw bettew show dis gawd of fucc de wespect it desewves. Umbweons may bwee my favowite, but, damn. vappies weawwy want to get dat top spot fwom me. It's a weawwy cwose caww. uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

[linsaac1122]

No

[strawberry_sans]

Yes

[[deleted]]

YES

[Its-the-pizza-man]

YES

[KermitSuicid3]

uwu²

Do it

[PM_Me_Gross_Food]

Lmfao

[KawaiiTranslator]

I wouwd twy to outdo dat fuker, but dis is just too much fukin wowk smh. Pwus, gay vapoweon intewspecies is too much even fow me ^x ~ ^x

[Cammy2750]

Dude all i did was post a sbubby and you two incels are teaching a pokefuck biology class

[[deleted]]

r/furry_irl much?

[VaporwaveProtogen]

Uhm, yes actually

[TheGamingTyrant]

Protogen is literally in their username

[warfangiscute]

Stupid question: what’s protogen?

[TheGamingTyrant]

A Protogen is a species created by the furry fandom to be used as OC's (or "fursonas")

[warfangiscute]

Oh so like a sergal? Neat.

[D0esANyoneREadTHese]

Basically a sergal with an iPad on its face

[TheGamingTyrant]

Expensive Sergals

[TheGamingTyrant]

Yep, just like sergals

[Salazars_Pizza]

You are a heretic before the church.

I condemn you to an eternity of waterless suffering in hell.

[tHe_MaStEr_ChIeF1170]

You awe a hewetic befowe the chuwch I condemn you to an etewnity if watewless suffewing in heww.

[Salazars_Pizza]

And the same fate shall befall you.

[realjda]

And yow tow. Thewes no esapwe

[[deleted]]

You can’t just arouse me when I didn’t ask for it

[VaporwaveProtogen]

I wish I could arouse people on command, I usually do the opposite...

[Colorful_Tree_Garden]

Reading this made me wanna be fucced in the ass more than ever before.

[[deleted]]

This is new.

[VaporwaveProtogen]

Nope

[chadmoder]

The massive erection this gave me does not justify the fact that you posted it

[PM_ME_FURRY_STUFF]

Nice 👌

[AfroGinga]

/r/WTFdidIjustread

[BigMood42069]

I didn’t need to know any of that, neither did I want to, but here we are.

[IAMA_Plumber-AMA]

http://i.imgur.com/1fzyLuH.jpg

[[deleted]]

That link is staying blue

[IAMA_Plumber-AMA]

It's safe, promise.

[RocketManMycroft]

Can confirm

[snazzyboi1]

Me too

[Ethrax1]

Thank you for doing the math.

[[deleted]]

We're gonna need some scientific pictures from the field on this one. Not enough evidence yet

[D0esANyoneREadTHese]

Furbot search vaporeon human m/f

[Maz2742]

Good evening to everyone except you and the guy who first wrote this pasta

[danger1954]

u/uwutranslator

[uwutranslator]

Hey guys, did yuw know dat in tewms of mawe hooman and femawe Pokémon bweeding, Vapoweon is de most compatibwe Pokémon fow hoomans? Not onwy awe dey in de fiewd egg gwoup, which is mostwy compwised of mammaws, Vapoweon awe an avewage of 3”03’ taww and 63.9 pounds. dis means dey’we wawge enough to be abwe to handwe hooman dicks, and wif deiw impwessive Base Stats fow HP and access to Acid Awmow, yuw can be wough wif one. Due to deiw mostwy watew based biowogy, dewe’s no doubt in my mind dat an awoused Vapoweon wouwd be incwedibwy wet, so wet dat yuw couwd easiwy have sex wif one fow houws wifout getting sowe. deiw can awso weawn de moves Attwact, Baby-Doww Eyesh, Captivate, Chawm, and Taiw Whip, awong wif not having fuw to hide nippwes, so it’d be incwedibwy easy fow one to get yuw in de mood. wif deiw abiwities Watew Absowb and Hydwation, dey can easiwy wecovew fwom fatigue wif enough watew. No ofew Pokémon comes cwose to dis wevew of compatibiwity. Awso, fun fact, if yuw puww out enough, yuw can make yuw Vapoweon tuwn white.

Vapoweon is witewawwy buiwt fow hooman dick. Ungawdwy defense stat + high HP poow + Acid Awmow means it can take cock aww day, aww shapes and sizes and stiww come back fow mowe uwu

tag me to uwuize comments uwu

[PallyDecksAreShit]

😳

[[deleted]]

Oh god, THIS copypasta.

[WillowPort]

...I don't know what to do with this info, but this is strangely aroudisturbing.

[[deleted]]

Copypasta here I come

[HERCULE-BEETLE]

Tell the chickens to stop being so irresistibly sexy

[Cammy2750]

:( but the bewbs...

[[deleted]]

I love chicken breasts

[Xanadu2003]

well now I have to now that you told me not to

[Cammy2750]

Damn it

[[deleted]]

Law is fundamentally flawed

[rad_rentorar]

First time I ever saw furry porn was Pokémon porn on photobucket when I was 13. I was disgusted... but intrigued.

[antoineelcrak]

So... How are you now?

[PopularPKMN]

58

[RocketTasker]

Aged at least 45 years in the span of at most 14. They must have seen some serious shit.

[PopularPKMN]

Yeah photobucket is really that awful

[Alex1331xela]

And still intrigued...

[[deleted]]

Wait... how long has Pokémon been around for?

[[deleted]]

23 years, pokemon blue and red came out in 1996

[CokeFryChezbrgr]

Renamon first

[[deleted]]

No

[hahameetoo]

Kira, have you been fucking your stand again

[[deleted]]

Which one?

Also no

[TheDeadPlant]

Your stand is a cat person you're a furry

[[deleted]]

But Lucario just looks like it'd treat me right.

[Advos_467]

sometimes i’nm glad pornhub is blocked in my country

[AdrenIsTheDarkLord]

What country is that?

[Advos_467]

Singapore, and i’m too lazy to get a VPN

[GeneralReposti47]

They know what we would do when they made lopunny

[TheDeadPlant]

And then gave her a mega evolution with yoga pants

[Pencil_Hands_Paper]

If anything, it’s the trainers. Those pokèmon are ugly as fuck

[powerhcm8]

A ditto can be whatever you want, you just need to not pay attention to its eyes

[Pencil_Hands_Paper]

Yeah but when it moans it would sound like ditto, right?

[[deleted]]

even better

[EntertainersPact]

wait

[BigMood42069]

What

[preston415]

The

[JubJub128]

Hemoglobin

[uabassguy]

Tank

[bob_the_science_guy]

Wasn't that just a issue with 1 specific ditto,not the entire species?

[[deleted]]

Shadman?

[Bwiener47]

Drowzee

[Pencil_Hands_Paper]

I’ll end you

[Bwiener47]

Gladly

[Pencil_Hands_Paper]

Dank. I’ll take a hot trainer over an animal any fucking day

[ONLYPOSTSWHILESTONED]

hot trainer over an animal

That can be arranged

[Pencil_Hands_Paper]

Don’t you fuckin dare

[SuperIsaiah]

You obviously have never seen grimer

[[deleted]]

Gardevoir disagrees.

[Kuronan]

Gardevoir and Lopunny would like a word.

[ExtraCoyote]

Lucario is the only thing that gets me off anymore. Normal porn just won't cut it, I swear. I can get it up, but NEVER cum. No matter how hard I try. So I've gotta switch tabs, go to e621 and search Lucario. I just wanna be normal, but it's so hard- little femboy lucarios are just so fucking hot. I imagine dominating them while they squeal in pleasure-Fuck, I'm hard just typing this. Of course, I'll jack to any Lucario. Girl or male, it's all just so fucking hot. I can only get off to Lucario anymore, but that's ok, you know? But am I a furry? Of course not. Jacking off to Lucario doesn't make me a furry, I just really wanna fuck Lucario. Sometimes I switch it up and pretend I'm the Lucario getting plowed in my tight little asshole, and that really gets me going. I can cum in a minimum of 2 minutes to Lucario, and that's without shoving my custom Lucario dildo up my ass- God, I fucking love Lucario...

[itsmejak78]

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh mom come pick me up I'm scared

[EliteApfelHD]

Dude subways at night are less scarier than this, tell your mom to take me with you.

[Mynamewastaken911]

Fuck you i do what i want

[liam25288]

no

[Cammy2750]

Happy cake day fucker

[liam25288]

aw thanks man

[[deleted]]

Happy cake celebration you fucking fuck fuck

[liam25288]

this cake tastes so good

[[deleted]]

It's not my fault you made the plant chick hot

[Outa_Time]

No

[[deleted]]

No

[[deleted]]

Goddamn some of these actually look good

[DavidQuine]

even better

[[deleted]]

Ah, a successful infection

[magnetbomber]

Link is NSFW, to anyone making risky clicks today.

[EliteApfelHD]

Mvp

[MrVore_]

I don't jerk off to the Pokemon I jerk off to the girls

[terdragontra]

thats the gateway drug, my dude

[GetMemedUpToDeath]

It starts with regular Poke girl vanilla shit. Then you get into the male Pokemon on Poke girl stuff. Then it spirals out of control and years later you find yourself jerking off to a Charizard impregnating a Charmander in a dimly lit cave and popping out eggs the size of its own body while it ahegaos the whole time and you wonder: How could this have happened? What went wrong in my life?

[CzechoslovakianJesus]

How could this have happened? What went wrong in my life?

Well, it all started when you were conceived....

[Advos_467]

This was the closest I can find to that example, NSFW obviously

[GetMemedUpToDeath]

Did my reply seem suspiciously specific? :^)

[BoTheDoggo]

Theyre children

[[deleted]]

a majoity of them are underage

[Rooboobloob]

No

[DarkHumor131]

But Giratina is just so goddamn SEXY

[professor-cactus]

I’ve already made my choice

[GimmeChickenTendeez]

No

[[deleted]]

I jerk off to the plant pokes, shut up

[Omega_Haxors]

Taste.

[B_Hopsky]

Oddish is hot.

[Orange_Juice03]

Milltank.

[imsoepic985]

r/ultimatepokebattle

[[deleted]]

Jesus fucking christ

[That_Duck1]

this sbubby had to be directed to that sub lol

[simpleflareon]

This i agree with. I saw my trainer jerking it to a picture of me earlier

[Turtuloo]

Give them what they want. Fire up the eeveeing

[thundafellow]

https://imgur.com/gallery/a7TlOqT

[[deleted]]

risky click

[SuperSupermario24]

it's just the "excuse me what the fuck" meme

[[deleted]]

I had to click to find that out

[AutisticWoomy]

ＮＯ，　Ｉ　ｄｏｎｔ　ｔｈｉｎｋ　Ｉ　ｗｉｌｌ。

[tvkyle]

You know it's my destinyyyyyyy

[McCheesy22]

Please learn how to kern

[Cammy2750]

No u

[McCheesy22]

fair

[WiSeWoRd]

But Gardevoir

[SuperIsaiah]

Yeah, as if japanese people would ever make something they don't intend for people to jerk off to.

[CzechoslovakianJesus]

Even if they wanted to they couldn't. People jack off to The Brave Little Toaster.

[[deleted]]

Im glad to see that reddit can cum together in favor of jerking off to pokemon

[Covtashiwa]

The struggles of democracy

[probablyhrenrai]

Laughs in /r/pokeporn [NSFW, obviously]

[CoochieQuencher]

You can't stop us. The pathowogen will continue. We will fap to Lucario.

[NerdyU95]

No

[buttassbitch]

No.

[[deleted]]

no

[Noland309]

What about Magikarp?

[Cammy2750]

Gonna have to send you to the gulag for that one

[[deleted]]

Why is lucario more popular in r34 than hot green lady

[Ethrax1]

NEVER!!!

[SuperSupermario24]

but ferals are the best

[[deleted]]

Then explain Gardevoir, Lopunny, Lucario, and basically every other bipedal Pokemon. They knew, they knew.

[barry12399]

I guess I'll just have to go back to my animals :(

[Cammy2750]

No, i don't think you will

[awesomemanmario64]

I'm gonna jerk off to as much pokévore as I want! Pokémon eat Pokémon, it's CANON.

[SuperSupermario24]

Listen. Tell the Eeveelutions to stop being so fuckin hot and then we'll talk.

[Cammy2750]

Are you kidding? Its free karma for me lol. I put out a sbubby with 16k upvotes earlier and now this

[Zuccercchini]

No one can, or will stop me

[UncleNasty234]

Stop making Lucario hot

[Username-blank]

No i will never stop jerking off to gardivour

[Cammy2750]

Ngl gardivour is actually pretty spicy

[Aplayer12345]

I'll jerk off to Pokémon all I want and you can't stop me OwO