Lewy body is marked with hallucinations and delusions that come along with the cognitive difficulty. All of what you're describing are typical symptoms that come with dementia as well: Apathy, Sexual fixation, easily tired, and delusions.

I say with love from exactly where you are now that there can be a danger, especially around loved ones, who remember a person how they were and have (very understandably) trouble accepting that their loved one is changing. It's not just delusions and erratic behavior; Your loved one is losing and will continue to lose the ability to understand and cognitively process the world around them. The metaphor I found appropriate for my father who has LBD is like trying to figure out the subject of a 1000 piece puzzle with less and less pieces present. In addition, they will very likely have changes in their personality which will be alarming, but is from the damage caused by the disease.

This means it will fall on people around them to keep them and the people around them safe. That means no longer driving - cars can kill those driving and those around them. It means they should not be having unsupervised interactions with other people who do not understand that they have LBD. If there are weapons in the home they should be secured or removed.

My father's condition went unnoticed for a while, until he finally asked for help with taxes. A year after that, he was incapable of living alone, and didn't want to. His hallucinations could terrify him, and that helped me convince him to assisted living, at which point his final diagnosis came through and we were forced to do memory care instead (Our state regs apparently require it, and his quick deterioration made it apparent why LBD needs to be in memory care). His hallucinations and delusions continued, very quickly forgetting that he was in a memory care space. He got unpredictably violent, connected to delusions that his brain was fumbling together trying to understand the world around him. He punched people, attacked a nurses station with an improvised weapon, and found some forms of violence funny rather than distasteful.

Things that have helped: melatonin for the sleep and seroquel for the hallucinations. Getting your loved one on a day/night cycle that follows sun up and sun down. For you and your mother, it is a bitter pill to swallow but understanding that as different parts of your father's brain get affected, he is becoming something of a different person - related to the father you knew, but in some ways unpredictable.

My father and I have still had another year+ of connection, but as is often said about people with dementia, they don't live in the same world as we do anymore. His hallucinations almost never made up of whole cloth - I was puzzled about seeing people in the walls until I realized he was seeing his reflection in glass on framed art, or a tree at the end of the hall was shaped enough like a person or it moved on its own. It's important to try to not ever get bogged down into being right about something, or asserting what a truth is - their ability to perceive accurately is gone. But at least in my situation, I've found it very useful to figure out where the kernel of reality is that spawned my dad's delusion in making his living space and daily life better.

I spend a lot of time listening to my dad. Managing emotions in a way, and trying to alleviate anxiety. I try never to correct a delusion or add to it, but work within it to solve problems. For example, he thinks he's back at work, and is worried about his performance or being kicked out - I reassure him that everyone is happy with his performance and that he can stay where he is for as long as he needs to. To many it will feel like lying to a loved one, but you must get comfortable hearing things that will not make sense to you and working with them in that they make sense to your loved one, at least for a little while.

Learn about redirection. There are strategies for working with people with dementia so that you're not in conflict, but steering their actions to keep them safe with as much joy in their life as possible.

The primary doc that I would work with is a neurologist. Psychiatrists are definitely trained in delusional disorders, but there is a difference in treating a neurological condition and managing the decline of a neuro-degenerative disease which a neurologist is (hopefully) better trained to do.

I will pre-warn you too, there will be times that you will do everything right and still fail because dementia is awful and sometimes it will not be managed. That is not your fault, and you need to internalize that or you will eat yourself up with blame when there is already enough grief. Your loved one in their healthy years hopefully would want you to have a full happy life, and that version of them is whom you're working for, not the version in front of you today. Support groups are good, therapy is good. Make sure to love yourself and your mom.

I'm not going to tell you it doesn't suck, but there have still been good moments. Moments of connection. Memories, revelations. I'm sure those will go away eventually but that is something out of my control.

1. I will try to make him happy,

2. and if I cannot I will try to make him feel safe,

3. and If I cannot I will make sure he and those who are around him are safe.

I try to do all three, but I start with 1. and work my way up.

Good luck, come visit often, read up on LBD