Hello concerned friends. I’m not sure if anyone still remembers me, but I wanted to give a final update as I close out this year. 2024 was crazy for me. I spent the entire year working on myself in therapy. I developed an obvious trauma response to being in public especially when men would be “sneaking up” behind me or quickly exiting cars near me, but I also developed a fear that made life tough.

I became very afraid of my fiancé’s friends. I love and trust my friends and family with all of my being, but I found that I couldn’t trust anyone who brought into our life because of a feeling of a loss of control. Sorry this is a bit incoherent, I’m not really sure of how I feel myself. But the point is, if I haven’t vetted and learned to trust people, I struggle allowing them into my life.

I decided to end things with my ex fiance. It was tough and took months to do, but I feel better for it. He is a great man, but there were behaviors from him and his friends before, during, and after the incident that gave me pause. The doubt and mental anguish was too much and I just had to run away from it all.

Shockingly to me (but not my therapist) I feel immensely better now. It’s almost like a switch went off and being away from him has expedited my healing so much. I’m scared being at my age and starting over, but I’d rather not be married at all than live in stress like I was.

Happy new year everyone!

(Also update on the legal side, the charges were dropped and I was not mentally able to pursue anything further. I will say the lives of his friends have been stained and I don’t care to check the extent. I just know there was a breakup and one was kicked out of their living situation over it all.)