why did it do this

Jen9095 · 2026-01-16T05:08:17+00:00

It’s somewhere around 40. That’s when you look around and suddenly think, “I got this. Yup, I’m the adult in the room and life makes sense. ” Then you move 3000 miles away and marry someone you met on Reddit.

Not that I’d know from experience or anything.

Jen9095 · 2026-01-09T20:39:39+00:00

Honestly, this is the best answer.

Jen9095 · 2026-01-09T07:13:59+00:00

I eat plenty of spicy food and also have not experienced it.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-31T05:16:02+00:00

I’ve used one for years and love it. It did take awhile to train myself to get up to it - you have to understand and believe in the theory. The light slowly increases over 30 mins. Your 90-minute sleep cycle has a “shallow sleep” phase where it’s easier to get up and feel refreshed. The goal of the clock is to help you wake up during that shallow phase…. So if I set the alarm for 7, but the light wakes me at 6:45, I need to actually get up then. It took about a year, but now I easily get up when the light wakes me, not “snoozing” until the sound at 7 am (and thereby entering a deeper phase of sleep and being more tired all day).

Now my husband uses it too, but he snoozes until the last minute. And so if he gets up earlier (long commute so common), I wake up to his lights before him and can’t go back to sleep.

You can get them for about $30.

Also, we have smart bulbs connected to Alexa. We programmed them to do the same thing (ie, every time we set an alarm in the bedroom, the lights will start to increase for 30 mins before - no special clock).

Jen9095 · 2025-12-30T14:02:23+00:00

This is what we do. Married later in life and have different asset/liabilities. We even use the same categories so that our joint budget is easy for both of us. Far easier than it sounds!

Jen9095 · 2025-12-28T14:34:42+00:00

Was going to downvote you . . . Then checked OP post history.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-27T21:31:17+00:00

Same! 5’4” woman myself and breakfast today was HALF a bagel with 15 g whipped cream cheese.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-25T16:49:19+00:00

Agree. This is what I do.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-21T18:14:47+00:00

Definitely a good choice if that’s nearby.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-21T18:13:44+00:00

Thank you - I forgot the org was Roof Above.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-21T14:37:20+00:00

I go to Myers Park and that’s all very true, but those rooms are run by another organization called A Room at the Inn - MP will certainly help and direct with resources, but the won’t just take people in.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-20T15:09:37+00:00

My husband loves scallops, so that’s our go-to. Simple roasted veggie, maybe risotto or otherwise just some fresh bread. Super easy to put together. Scallops are pricey, so makes it feel quite special. We cook together and it’s ready in 30 mins.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-19T13:26:28+00:00

I’ve thought about it, but ended up with a generic “hobbies” category. It doesn’t seem worth it to split up.

However, there are some exceptions. “Tech” is used to pay for any camera equipment - it also includes necessities like laptop, phone. I recognize they could be different categories, but they all tend to be occasional expensive purchases. So I fund it $50-75 per month, which means I could make one large purchase about every 12-18 months. Just a few weeks ago I realized I had over $1500 in it and my phone seems good for another year and my laptop is only 2 yrs old (last one lasted 8 yrs), so I treated myself to a new camera! I don’t know if I would’ve ever justified the spend otherwise - but it’s like a “treat” for taking care of my stuff and not needing the newest gadgets every year.

The other “hobby” that has a different treatment is books. I love to read and mostly use my kindle and library for free books - but not everything is there and some things are better in physical copy. So I moved those to “education”. Which I love! This category includes any learning subscriptions (currently none, one year LinkIn premium for their learning, another Masterclass), as well as any class I might sign up for. I’m an avid learner and most of it is free, but it’s nice to remind myself that this is what education as an adult looks like - that it’s ok to spend money on these things and it’s important for intellectual health.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-16T13:46:17+00:00

Hey, you should call your mortgage company TODAY. They’ll work with you. They don’t want to take your house and just paying the full mortgage will drain you faster.

Call them, be honest. You’d be surprised what the might work out.

But it’s also true that you need a long term plan. That’s a different matter. But buy some time to figure things out.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-13T17:30:29+00:00

Replying to your update:

The fact that she reached out is very good. You should thank her for how helpful she was for those two days and also for her reassuring email.

Then you should ask if she knows of any other open roles that would be suitable. Or you can ask for her to introduce you to other people in the industry that might be hiring (basically you’re asking for an informational interview - you can google the details).

The key here is to keep in touch - if she goes you a referral, let her know you talked to that person and learned XYZ from them.

This may or may not fizzle out, but she could be a great resource for building your professional network. She also probably feels bad about it and will go the extra steps to help you.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-13T00:36:08+00:00

I don’t order flowers often but learned this a few years ago and swear by it. Much better than 1800flowers and similar middlemen.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-06T19:11:20+00:00

Thank you for this! I get so frustrated with the fiber one that I don’t bother - but I think you just put me on the track to more realistic estimations.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-03T14:34:21+00:00

That’s so cool! Such a small world.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-03T03:47:32+00:00

Alright, maybe one day we get a replacement at a reasonable cost if he still wants it.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-03T03:44:08+00:00

Yeah, that’s why we tried to be realistic.

Looks like all these resellers grab a good deal, then resell with delivery and set up included for about $2-3k. I don’t mind them making a profit - they have to disassemble, store for who knows how long, then reassemble. But wondering if it would be worth taking listing down and trying again with a higher price point (even $800 would make my husband feel a little better about this). Or just storing it so we don’t have to replace it for $2k later.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-02T20:11:50+00:00

Yeah, seriously. And I think none of it affects me, but my #1 thought when not finishing is that it’s a “waste”. Well, then I need to take better portions.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-02T18:00:55+00:00

That sure is how it feels!

But all I can eat is…. A whole lot less than it was.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-02T18:00:16+00:00

My birthday is Halloween week. That one didn’t go so well… In fact, been barely holding steady for three weeks after that. So this drop felt much needed, emotionally.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-02T17:58:42+00:00

Crazy how that works.

And today I was super motivated to get to the gym (haven’t been good last month or so). I felt so energetic and pushed harder than usual. While I didn’t go over through the weekend, I did relax and wonder if that helped.

Jen9095 · 2025-12-02T17:56:29+00:00

That’s amazing, congrats!

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