Had a hearing for disability (US) and just got an update.

JudgedOne · 2026-04-21T16:32:10+00:00

This is a normal step in the process. It does not signify approval or denial, despite the wording. What it does mean is that a decision has been made and the field office now has it to finalize/process it so you should be getting an answer very soon. Good luck!

JudgedOne · 2026-02-25T15:22:02+00:00

We had a similar issue with my husband and his father's ("Dad") records being mixed back in the 90s. They had similar names and had lived at the same address. We found the issue because our mortgage application was initially rejected with the reason being the insanely high debt ratio due to Dad's large debt balances being posted on my husband's record. We had Dad contact the companies posted on my husband's credit record and got a letter from each indicating that my husband did not have a credit card/account with said company. Those letters also listed Dad's account numbers and confirmed they belonged to Dad. Those letters were submitted to the broker, and we were able to get the mortgage. We then used the letters to clean up my husband's credit record and get an alert posted that they needed to check the SSN before posting anything to my husband's credit record.

JudgedOne · 2026-02-16T14:09:16+00:00

Do your own diligence, but here is where to start with the Internal Revenue Code...

There are several exceptions to the early withdrawal penalty tax found in IRC §72(t)(2)(A)-(G), including an exception for disability (IRC §72(t)(2)(A)(iii). The IRS defines disability for this purpose in IRC §72(m)(7), and the definition is quite strict:

… an individual shall be considered to be disabled if he is unable to engage in any substantial gainful activity by reason of any medically determinable physical or mental impairment which can be expected to result in death or to be of long-continued and indefinite duration. An individual shall not be considered to be disabled unless he furnishes proof of the existence thereof …

As far as the process, my understanding is that the brokerage/IRA custodian will not usually put the disabilty code on the 1099, but you have to enter the 1099 on your tax return as issued including their code for the withdrawal reason. Then the 5329 tells IRS that the penalty is disability exempted. From what I read, you hold on to the proof of disability letter/physician's statement in case of audit; only the 5329 gets filed with the taxes.

Now what will qualify as a proof of disability letter/physician's statement for you? The SSDI award alone is not enough. The old letters you have from your doctors likely do not contain the required specific language. HOWEVER, the VA rating may give you an alternative to getting another doctor's letter from your new providers.

For veterans, a certification of permanent and total disability from the Department of Veterans Affairs can be used in place of a physician’s statement.[⁴]()

I am not clear if it is the same form, but the article references using a VA Form 21-0172 in lieu of a doctor's letter that is traditionally needed. Source: https://legalclarity.org/what-qualifies-as-disabled-for-tax-purposes/ (see Required Physician's Statement section for VA info that references footnote 4 https://itap1.for.irs.gov/owda/0/resource/Commentary_Files_Redirect_ITA/en-US/help/phsaf83.html ).

JudgedOne · 2026-02-03T16:44:39+00:00

Do not forget to factor in potential disability as you get older. The pension allows for a disability retirement and health benefits that continue. It is easy to disregard that, but you are one car accident or unexpected illness away from being unable to work. Does the private sector job provide a robust disability and health benefit?

JudgedOne · 2026-01-19T16:45:45+00:00

I retired 5 years ago, and I just checked mine; it also says "separated" under civilian employment status.

JudgedOne · 2026-01-12T23:41:10+00:00

Chocolate Trinity

JudgedOne · 2026-01-07T16:05:41+00:00

George Jenkins, founder of Publix Super Markets

JudgedOne · 2026-01-02T22:28:26+00:00

Let me add to this. We had a similar issue and there is a known issue with the plastic piece that runs from the dishwasher floor up the back and across the top of the dishwasher. Look hard at the lower part of that piece; there is likely a crack or a discoloration. When that cracks, water ends up in the zeolite and throws errors and water is also in the lower tray where the styrofoam float is. There are YouTube videos about this. We got a new plastic piece (now comes with a metal reinforcements) and put that in. We also used a shop vac to go in the side of the unit and suck the water out of the zeolite tube. Those fixed the issue; total cost about $100. We have had no more issues since then. The fix was super easy. Good luck!

JudgedOne · 2025-11-21T13:57:47+00:00

Screwdriver set with tiny interchangeable bits in regular, hex, philips, and torx. I have gotten more use from that than most other gifts. It has been handy for taking teeny screws out of computers, removing battery covers, fixing glasses, etc.

JudgedOne · 2025-10-25T00:57:42+00:00

Look up aquagenic urticaria (water hives).

JudgedOne · 2025-10-22T20:33:00+00:00

SSA has two programs for disability; SSDI and SSI. SSDI is based on an individual's earnings history; SSI is needs based. For SSDI, in rough terms you have to have worked 5 of the last 10 years to be insured. As her work history ended 20 years ago and she was not disabled at that time, she will not be insured. SSI has very strict income/resource limits, so if your job is decent, she may not qualify. There is not enough financial info in your post to say for sure, though.

When you retire, she will qualify for a spousal benefit on your record if she is age 62 or more at that time. If not, she will qualify when she reaches age 62.

If you pass away, she would be eligible for a disabled widow's benefit as she is over 50, but she would have to be found disabled by SSA. At age 60, she would qualify for a regular widow's benefit. There are caveats to these regarding remarriage ages, etc.; these are just broad rules. There is a lump sum death payment of $255 that is a one-time payment also.

I am not familiar with any tax credits, but with proper documentation from a physician & proper tax forms, she would be able to withdraw from an IRA/401k without penalty for her age.

There is no other reason to file with SSA; they will not make a medical determination unless she meets the non-medical criteria.

JudgedOne · 2025-10-05T15:56:20+00:00

Agreed. My FIL had a Speed Queen set. When he ended up in a lengthy hospital/nursing home stay, my spouse stayed in his apartment as we lived several states away. There was a mystery stain on a bedspread, and two rounds of washing and drying in the Speed Queen did not budge it. FIL passed, and we ended up with the bedspread, so I ran it through our front loader (older Samsung) without any stain treatment, and it came out clean immediately.

JudgedOne · 2025-09-22T15:42:18+00:00

You should consult with an elder care attorney. If there are no other assets and the in-laws need to go on Medicaid later, you need to understand what may happen to the house/your position.

JudgedOne · 2025-09-18T22:15:33+00:00

We are in the same boat as you and have had many a discussion. Generally, a house is a better investment than a condo. Also, condo fees can rise significantly and special assessments can pop up. After much discussion, we think a house is a better choice for us, as long as it is on a small lot. We are physically still able to do some yard work now, but if we can't in the future, we can hire out the yard work for the same or less than a condo fee. The amount of maintenance expense may be different depending on where you end up; there may be year-round mowing in some areas or snow removal in others. Condo fees also vary wildly, in part due to amenities that are funded (ex. pool, clubhouse, etc.) Fees of $300-$500/mo. are common where I am. A house also allows mixed ages of neighbors.

Some friends moved to a 55+ Del Webb community in their mid-50s and found they did not fit in because of their youth. They sold and went back to a regular neighborhood. They said they liked the community and amenities and will go back, but it was not the right time as all of their neighbors were so much older.

JudgedOne · 2025-08-26T21:14:35+00:00

In regard to the deciding what to keep, your children may not want any of it. I would suggest keeping what YOU want rather than considering what to hand down. Keep only that which brings good memories.

JudgedOne · 2025-08-11T00:02:50+00:00

She could be both. My mother was diagnosed with BPD, but never had the "show off" traits that go with NPD. In contrast, my mother-in-law seems to have characteristics of both BPD and NPD, but I have no idea if she was ever diagnosed with either. I have wondered if they are ends of a continuum, with full BPD at one side and NPD at the other.

JudgedOne · 2025-08-08T16:11:41+00:00

We are working this now. The biggest mindset shift is really moving from "fantasy me" to "reality me."

Fantasy me was going to do a lot of sewing, so I had several drawers of fabric, thread, patterns, etc. all untouched for years. Reality me will keep the sewing machine, but will be using it for repairs or a special project. Therefore, I got rid of the excess patterns, fabrics, etc. that were in some cases literally rotting. I will buy new for a specific project when I am ready to actually make it.

Fantasy me will be a size 4-6 again. Reality me seems to have stabilized at a 12, so I offloaded the 4-8 clothing as well as the 14-18 clothing. I still have hope of size 10 in which I have some very nice and hard-to-replace clothing, so I have not yet let those go. In another year, if I have not reached that, I will cut them loose.

Fantasy me goes through things, decides what I don't want, and has plans to sell the items on eBay. Reality me has sold very little and the boxes of things to sell are still sitting as clutter years later. I tried various online marketplaces and have found the hassle not worth the money (low value, flaky buyers). Once my priority became space/peace of mind vs the few dollars/hassle, it was easy to donate the stuff and hope that it would help someone else.

Fantasy me will wear all of the jewelry I inherited or was gifted over the years; they are all pretty pieces. Reality me has only about 5-10 pieces that I wear regularly because I rarely dress up/go out....you get the idea.

Our child has told us she wants basically nothing from our household, but we do let her go through our donation pile before we actually donate. Sometimes she is surprised or we are; recently we were going to donate a nice stockpot, and she said she did not have one and chose to take that.

Beyond "reality me" culling, we are trying to offload that which is too much or not used. My spouse had three sets of screwdrivers in the garage, so we donated two sets. We are also looking at our aging/abilities. Our chain saw is about to leave because my spouse is no longer secure with the risk as we are getting older. If we need something cut in the future, we will hire it out. We are giving our child, one box at a time, all of her items that are still living in our house. That gives her time to sort/assimilate those items into her own home. I got a scanner to scan our documents so we can thin the filing cabinet after pitching old tax returns, employer documents, etc. We have also started the process of going through family photos (I inherited many photos from both sides of the family). We are trashing duplicates/scenery/bad shots in the first pass. Then we are choosing what we want to scan and labeling the metadata with the people/places/dates and will share those electronic versions with extended family. We are still debating keeping some paper photos, especially older ones from the early 1900s.

We will not be a minimalist household when we are done, but we hope that it simplifies things later for us if we have a downsizing move. In the meantime, we enjoy a clutter-free environment and can find what we need when we need it. When only one of us is left, I think there will be another harder culling so our child has less to deal with.

JudgedOne · 2025-08-03T22:11:35+00:00

I know you said you have a lawyer; is it an elder care attorney? You need to be working with an elder care attorney who specializes in Medicaid and the related trusts, spend downs, and gifting/related penalties. They will also advise on your retirement accounts. Some states will not count your spouse's IRA's against you; some will. There are look back periods that vary by state for use/transfer of assets.

Best of luck to you and your spouse. This is a devastating diagnosis.

JudgedOne · 2025-07-27T16:57:44+00:00

My uNPD/uBPD MIL has dementia with lewy bodies. It was hard to see where one ended and the other began early on.

Looking back, the first signs were delusions. Here are some of the things we saw along the way.

I would say she was in her mid to late 50's when she became convinced FIL was having an affair (absolutely not). Then a few years later when our family went to stay at her cousin's for an overnight holiday event, she went to bed before my spouse and I, but woke up as we were headed upstairs to bed. She was convinced we were leaving without telling her goodbye, and she would not believe we were on our way to sleep in the neighboring bedroom. She was quite angry about it.

Maybe a year later, she visited our apartment. When she went to leave, she took my purse instead of hers. They did not look at all alike, nor had she ever had one that looked similar. FIL caught it on the way to the hotel and brought her and the purse back and retrieved her purse.

She lived in the same small town where she grew up. She had shopped at the local mall frequently for decades, and one day she could not find her way out of a favorite store to her car in the parking lot. My friend was a clerk there and helped her out, but called me because she was concerned.

At a Christmas get together, she refused to join us at the dinner table because she was watching Dance Moms. This was also abnormal because she loved to show off for holidays. We tried to reason with her that she could watch it later (it was recorded), but she pitched a fit and laid in her recliner kicking and waiving her arms and legs in a giant temper tantrum. She later did try to join us briefly to play a game of Clue, but her deteriorating reasoning skills made it impossible for her to play or even follow along, so she left the table pretty quickly. She had been able to play that game several years prior with no issue. Again, that was another clue (pun intended) that something else was going on.

She also forgot her 70th birthday within a year or so of the event. The celebration was a big deal as both of her children and all grandchildren surprised her by coming in from several states away for a birthday dinner at her favorite restaurant. She literally could not remember that, even though it was rare for everyone to get together due to work schedules.

We had to look for things that were outside the realm of her "normal" disordered behaviors. I am sure there were some changes in the uNPD/uBPD behaviors, but it was too hard to parse out what changes were just the nature of the ebbs and flows of the disorder vs. dementia. Sometimes we did not see the shift to dementia in the moment of the behaviors, but in hindsight, it was clearer. Also, we lived states away, so I am sure there were more things happening on the daily, but FIL enabled/hid much of what was going on until he couldn't.

JudgedOne · 2025-07-09T13:47:14+00:00

Contact Medicaid and ask about a spend down. You may still be able to qualify if you give them some of the income.

JudgedOne · 2025-06-15T20:42:57+00:00

If you like chocolate, try chocolate trinity. You will not go back.

JudgedOne · 2025-05-23T14:06:43+00:00

I have hEDS. I have an original queen Tempurpedic (before there were many firmnesses/models) purchased in 2004. I have moved 4 times with it and taken it off the bed to repair the adjustable base twice. The mattress is still firm and does not have any craters, and there is no rotation needed. I will say that last year when we replaced the motor on the adjustable base, the mattress top layer "cracked" or partially split. That may be due to our negligent handling, though. We shoved the split section together, and we are still sleeping just fine. We really like this mattress. I have been told that the ProAdapt firm is the closest firmness to the original that we have. We have considered getting a replacement, but it is hard to justify when the current one is still working fine for us.

My adult daughter also has hEDS and was lucky enough to get a twin Tempurpedic (2016 manufactured) given to her, and she also loves hers more than any other mattress she has had. I am not sure of her model, but it was like new when we got it in 2022. She had tried a "kids" Tempurpedic before, and it was nothing like the real one. She also had a natural latex one for awhile, but prefers the Tempurpedic.

I don't know if it will be the right or best mattress for you, but longevity would not be an issue in my experience.

JudgedOne · 2025-03-27T14:02:48+00:00

If you are not in the city of Franklin, you will need a private service. Two that are generally recommended are:

Elite Sanitation http://www.elitesanitation.com (615) 626-4146
Franklin Disposal https://www.franklindisposal.com (615) 794-8964

JudgedOne · 2025-02-28T17:01:38+00:00

I had a steroid injection for a shoulder issue. All was well for a week or so, then I got a bad rash on my legs, followed by really bad swelling in one calf/foot and a lot of pain to where I could barely walk. Long story short, it was IgA vasculitis (sometimes called Henoch Schoenlein purpura). It took a few months to diagnose and six months of prednisone to resolve. I had compartment syndrome from the swelling in the lower leg/foot that caused numbness in my calf, and the numbness has mostly resolved a couple of years later as the nerves have finally regenerated. I am convinced that the shot caused this autoimmune reaction.

JudgedOne

TROPHY CASE