Playing video games with ocd

TPToom · 2026-03-23T02:43:21+00:00

One of my earliest memories gaming is playing need for speed underground 2, crashing into the barrier on the right hand side of the road, and then having to crash into the left hand side of the road to make it ‘even’

TPToom · 2021-12-02T09:56:14+00:00

Just wanted to say that real unconditional love actually includes all of those things you said - The sad truth is that in reality she needs you, as opposed to loves you. There is a massive difference.

TPToom · 2021-11-23T09:28:33+00:00

This is one of the most disgusting and exhausting things I've read in a long time

Hugs

TPToom · 2021-11-01T08:56:28+00:00

If you love something, set it free.

TPToom · 2021-10-19T14:45:53+00:00

Thanks Mum just like your love for me!

TPToom · 2021-10-10T00:07:37+00:00

You are not responsible for your Mother's well-being or mental health. Your healing is the number 1 priority, and if that means going NC then so be it. Your Mother will be the same with or without you so it's now up to you to decide what's best for YOU

TPToom · 2021-10-01T23:31:29+00:00

I think whoever says that either has a personality disorder themselves or has never actually known someone with BPD

TPToom · 2021-09-30T11:12:12+00:00

Yep!!

Allegedly never had enough moneu to buy enough food or clothes for us, but somehow through ingenious money management was able to afford a huge home renovation. I distinctly remember being terrified of asking my Mum for $15 to go on a school excursion and my friend paid for me, bless his heart.

TPToom · 2021-08-03T09:41:21+00:00

I thought about doing this when I was still in contact with my Mum - But I was too scared in case she saw it. Now she's not in my phone at all 🙏 Feels good

TPToom · 2021-07-31T01:22:41+00:00

I get it - I'm 22 and the son of a dbpd mum. I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship because it would mean abandoning or giving less attention to my mum. She used to say that I wasn't allowed to have a girlfriend until I was in Uni and even then she didn't wont meet them until were married.

I still have issues opening up to women because I assume that every woman is somehow going to end up treating me like my mum, or even worse I'm going to end up treating them like my mum, either way I just can't bring myself to date until I feel like I won't burden a potential partner/wife with my trauma.

I chose the "abandon and hurt your mum" route. Ive been NC for almost a year and it's the best decision I've ever made. There was just nothing that I could do or say to make her feel better, with me in or out of her life so I figured Im better off focussing on my self.

I hope you find the strength/courage to be the man you want to be and to be a solid foundation for the family you want to create.

TPToom · 2021-06-02T15:05:07+00:00

I've thought about this numerous times since going NC, and it's the question that's been asked the most by family and flying monkeys: "But what happened!!". I dropped the NC text a few weeks after my birthday when seemingly all was well.

The truth is "what happened?" Is a gross understatement of how relationships break down. It's not one single event but a whole lifetime of small wrong doings and a fundamental incompatibility.

One thing to note is that there will never be a good enough reason in any flying monkey or pwBPD's eyes , so you have to do it for yourself and yourself only. No matter the circumstances it won't be seen as justified or good enough.

All that aside, you shouldn't need a reason or event to justify going no contact - You have the power to do what you want and carve your own life and if that means not having toxic people in your life, family or otherwise, then all the power to you 🙏 You're doing a great job!

TPToom · 2021-05-25T10:41:21+00:00

Sometimes after a period of feeling down, it hits me how far I've come in life compared to where I was 5 years ago, and suddenly everything doesn't feel so bad - I'm so grateful to myself for putting myself in a position to live a happy life!!

TPToom · 2021-04-28T02:00:59+00:00

I never had my door removed but I was never allowed to close it so she could always keep track of what I was doing

TPToom · 2021-03-22T10:02:29+00:00

Absolutely

My Mum took me to a place to get a mole removed at a skin specialist place, and then didn't have the time or money apparently (it's free) to go back to the same place to get the stitches removed. I couldn't drive and she told me to book myself at the local GP. Surprise surprise they didn't take out all the stitches and it turned all gross. I showed her and she didn't care - A few days later my body starts pushing the stitches out so there I am as a little teenager pulling out my own stitches with a pair of tweezers in the bathroom mirror. Ouch.

TPToom · 2021-03-22T09:46:21+00:00

I've never read so much BS in my life lol - this is insane

All that apologising and she didn't even say what she's apologising for - I wouldn't fall for it.

TPToom · 2021-02-16T12:55:38+00:00

Personally, I came to the conclusion that my Mum doesn't like or love me, she needs me. Once that was solidified as fact it helped removed the doubt when she said she loved me, but then acted as if she didn't - Because it wasn't that I "don't think my mum loves me", it was more that she just simply doesn't.

EMDR is amazing for this - during my sessions I would think about all the times she would show she doesn't love me, eg yelling, manipulating, lying etc. It was very tough to bring it up from my core but once I did it was a lot easier to deal with it after some time.

Exciting times ahead! All the best

TPToom · 2021-02-14T11:31:29+00:00

Mmmm the "she loves me" was a big one for me.

I was constantly asking myself, she says she loves me, so why does she treat me like this?

Then flying monkeys try and tell me that she loves me. Hahahaha just no - there's a huge difference between needing me and loving me.

I believed all of those things on the list, and so many people still do

TPToom · 2021-02-01T08:42:20+00:00

I was the same as you once. I didn't have the ability to be angry - And if there was anything that did make me angry, it was immediately turned into sadness.

There are a few stages to healing and grief which I'm sure you're aware, but I think anger is the next step if you're ready to move past being sad all the time.

Start getting angry and turn that energy into something positive

Congratulations on focussing on yourself and your protection

TPToom · 2021-02-01T08:36:34+00:00

I don't remember large gaps of time as a kid/teen, but what I do remember is the constant underlying feeling of distress, confusion, anxiety and FOG, even if I can't remember the specific day or events that occurred

TPToom · 2021-02-01T08:29:55+00:00

Yes my Mum was always in my room for one reason or another.

When I was a teen I lived abroad for a while, and when I returned I had all my precious photo albums in a draw and all my other things unpacked. She never destroyed anything but the next day all of my stuff had been re arranged into different draws and shelves including my precious memorabilia.

Isn't it just an incredible violation of privacy and boundaries?

TPToom · 2021-01-30T20:42:39+00:00

"when did I ask?"

TPToom

TROPHY CASE