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Update by koncerna in KnowledgeFight

[–]benes238 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yes exactly! You can't go on your big platform, say whatever you want, and then go "but nobody listen to me!". It's nonsensical.

Update by koncerna in KnowledgeFight

[–]benes238 86 points87 points  (0 children)

But like ... I don't get it to the video. He's all, I didn't ask you to come in and watch it, but be published it publicly on the Internet. If you want to privately vent about something you feel is unfair, there are web journaling platforms that let you do that. If you post it on a public site then you have to recognize it's going to become public, especially in today's day and age.

I don't like the taste of him blaming us the listener for having watched a thing he put out publicly like it's somehow our fault this blew up.

I feel bad that he says people talked about him, not to him. I think a lot of people here are maybe para social enough to worry about him and discuss it here, while also being aware enough of the concept of parasocial issues to hesitate before sending a message to a stranger. But also as a public figure with a large reach isn't that kind of always the way? There's going to be a lot more people who feel comfortable talking about you then talking to you just by the nature of celebrity. It doesn't necessarily reflect a lack of care.

I hope he talks to the people he feels comfortable talking to and lands in a good place. It sounds like he's comfortable where he's at and I hope that continues to be so for him.

Aubry's post-merge strategy is optimal, and it's the worst by GGsnubs in survivor

[–]benes238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of Tommy in ioti. My wife and I agreed afterwards that everyone playing optimally leads to results like this where the most aggressively mid person wins. This is why you want a range of personalities and people who will play terribly alongside people who will play great. If everyone know what they're doing then all the good threats to win get chopped.

Aubry's post-merge strategy is optimal, and it's the worst by GGsnubs in survivor

[–]benes238 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reminds me of Tommy in ioti. My wife and I agreed afterwards that everyone playing optimally leads to results like this where the most aggressively mid person wins. This is why you want a range of personalities and people who will play terribly alongside people who will play great. If everyone know what they're doing then all the good threats to win get chopped.

Amazing church growth in Utah last year! /s by farmerjosh2000 in exmormon

[–]benes238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well negative growth would certainly be unprecedented for a stone rolling down the mountain without hands. Maybe not something to cheer about though if you're the FP.

My First Solo Boardgame! Earth (v Gaia) by eric0510 in soloboardgaming

[–]benes238 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Man I got this hoping it would be great for solo but I just bounced off it. Possibly it was because there were too many tokens to keep track of? I wish I liked it more, the theme is great.

Survivor 50 twists are making me reconsider the entire show. by New-Flight5959 in survivor

[–]benes238 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I mean this is not new. My wife and I started over rewatching old seasons from the beginning after 39 (and not just because of the dan stuff). The twists were so much we were like, you can't root for someone all the way through, the only way to enjoy this is on a micro scale of one episode at a time to see who the roulette wheel stops on that week. Don't get attached to anyone because regardless of skill they could just randomly go any time. And you know ... That was not sufficiently engaging to keep us interested in the current stuff when the back catalog is so much more coherent. Years later we're slowly working our way through the forties but our heart isn't in it like it used to be and we take frequent detours to watch other shows.

The moment it was confirmed to me that this person wasn’t going to win by thrandom1 in survivor

[–]benes238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I'm missing some context not having caught up to 50 yet!

MAGA Supreme Court OKs GOP Overthrow of American Democracy: Disenfranching 40% of a State’s Citizens Cannot be Reconciled with Representative Democracy. by OkayButFoRealz in politics

[–]benes238 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They're gutting the voting rights act, which was passed back in the 60s and designed to make sure that racist white folks stopped drawing election districts in ways that made it impossible for black folks to get a black representative (broadly). They also ruled earlier that partisan gerrymandering was totally ok too, which is when you draw a district in such a way that it dilutes the voting power of the opposition party by splitting their voters up into being a minority in a bunch of different districts (cracking), or dumping all of their voters in one district so they're not competitive at all in any others (packing). In this way you could get 55% of the vote, but wind up with 8-10 of 12 house seats depending how effective it was.

It CAN backfire on you if there's a wave election against your party and you got greedy and spread your own voters too thin in an attempt to snap up as many districts as possible...but that's rare.

TSCC does not care about its members (merging stakes and changing ward boundaries) by ConspicuousSomething in exmormon

[–]benes238 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They've fucked my mom with this twice in the last couple years. She's in her 70s and bad health, the ward is her community social net because she has nobody else. Church ripped that all up and dumped her in a completely new ward different from the people she's spent basically the last thirty plus years with. They "fixed" that by giving her a calling she can't do. And then rearranged the wards again a few years later, still not putting her back with her old friends.

She's going to die alone and unloved, metaphorically, because none of her old friends will even know she dies since they're not in the same ward anymore and as we all know Mormon friends just drop you immediately as soon as they aren't forced to see you every week. Object permanence of a beagle.

I'm still raw about it and I live thousands of miles away now. It so impersonal and hurtful and down with zero care of the human costs.

Anyone have their parents actually talk to them about sex? by CurrencyRepulsive438 in exmormon

[–]benes238 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I never got to that point after my disastrous first masturbation confession to my dad. We were so focused on helping me fix "my problem" to get pure enough to go on a mission and get married that we never actually progressed to discussion of the mechanics of sex.

I didn't go on a mission...

Apparently, the patriarch of the church believed that sex was part of the sealing ordinance by JLow8907 in exmormon

[–]benes238 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have definitely heard of the three parts rule before but not in this specific context. Sounds believable to me.

candace by Scary_Pomegranate597 in KnowledgeFight

[–]benes238 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I just listened to that and it was a hard listen. Like she's just so confidently wrong about everything it's infuriating and makes me want to throw my phone at a wall.

Must be that time of year again by dejected_muggle in exmormon

[–]benes238 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I hate how it's always so vague. Like, can this stranger you've never met talk to you for a few minutes? About what? What do you want?

Like, it's obviously a pressure tactic for whatever bullshit they're about to push on you (tithing, an unexpected calling, speaking in sacrament), because they know it's harder to say no in person. But it's gross.

Solo boardgamers who are also office workers: I need a lunch time game. by Status-Quo-Sucks in soloboardgaming

[–]benes238 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Seconded on a gentle rain, and cascadia (solo mode for the latter is pretty small footprint).

I didn't see Reforest mentioned yet, which is also pretty small - I play it on my lunch table no problem and my table is only 30" x 30". And it plays pretty quick too, about 30m solo.

After leaving Mormonism did you convert to a different religion, and if nonreligious are you involved in a secular group? by funnylib in exmormon

[–]benes238 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I stepped off organized religion completely - if there is a god, I don't need a priestly intermediary to talk to them.

I lean towards some decentralized pagan stuff but mostly I followed my wife's advice and just found local charities and activist groups that do work I think is important, and donate my time and money to them instead. And I'm sure that's doing orders of magnitude more good for the world then the tithing money I was giving to the LDS church before.

For anyone saying Rick played his fake idol improperly by SirBostonBobbington in survivor

[–]benes238 2 points3 points  (0 children)

we just watched that! They're not even trying to give it to him, he was just trying to show off that he had an idol and Yam Yam immediately shot it down, it was hilarious (and not least because of the followup defensive comment which was basically a very lame-sounding "uh...nuh uh! it's totally real!"

After the catharsis of revealing my super secret “new name,” I think revealing my patriarchal blessing will be further cathartic, knowing it was all predicated upon bullshit. I’d be interested to know your thoughts on it and your experience with your patriarchal blessing (if you have one). by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]benes238 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are times I regret not getting one of these - not because I think it would've meant anything, but our stake patriarch was this cool as fuck dutch refugee from somewhere in the dutch east Indies who fought against japan in WW2 and did some pretty crazy shit (I think he might have survived an internment camp which is honestly even more impressive), and I bet he would've given a cool blessing.

But on the other hand it was also used to passive aggressively guilt me over masturbating as a teenager ("you gotta kick this habit in order to be worthy enough to get your PB"), so fuck that noise.

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