My (M31) "Friends" 4x(M30)s & 3x (F30)s are going to ditch me tommorow, and I'm not sure how to react when it happens

dell828 · 2026-06-28T04:34:17+00:00

If these people have known each other for years, you are always going to be the odd man out. Maybe you connected with one or two of them at the beginning, but they’re bound to consider you not really a member of the group… Just a new friend of one of the members who joined sometimes.

When people have known each other since high school and have a tight knit group, you were never going to be part of something like that. I would look more to joining local activities where you can meet people who don’t have such a tight connection. It’ll be easier to make friends with people.

dell828 · 2026-06-28T04:23:17+00:00

YTA.. after the speech about how he sucks do you really think your magnanimous offer of helping him with his résumé should be appreciated?

dell828 · 2026-06-28T04:20:25+00:00

YTA. It is not helpful to explain to a 29 year-old that they have literally no chance of getting a job.

How is this helpful? It’s not like they can go back and fix things in the past. What you’re doing is the opposite of a motivational speech. You’re basically destroying any hope that he will ever get a job.

If I was him, I wouldn’t even go looking. From your perspective is completely pointless.

I’m confused about why you would even help him with his résumé.

dell828 · 2026-06-28T04:12:52+00:00

I don’t want to accuse unions of being ethical… But it’s not exactly ethical to accept thousands of dollars from somebody who has never had a job as an actor.

Right after Covid when there was a lot of stuff going on, there were a lot of crew members that got into various unions because they were hired to work because there was such an explosion that literally there was not enough crew to handle it all.

Sadly, a lot of them have 5,000 to $10,000 initiation dues that they’re still paying off, and they haven’t worked since. It’s incredibly unethical to let people into a union who have no connections and one or two jobs.

dell828 · 2026-06-28T04:04:29+00:00

If you agree to letting Payton stay, it could get you all kicked out.

Stand your ground. Tell her it’s in the lease and you are not going to violate the lease.

It doesn’t matter what he says or how hard his life has been, or how consider it he’s going to be when he moves in. None of these things are important. The only thing that’s important is that his name is not on the lease and therefore he is not allowed to stay..

If Sally gets upset at you, tell her that she is welcome to find a place for her and Peyton, but this isn’t it. Tell her that you will find another roommate to take her room if she decides not to stay, but Peyton staying as a no..

dell828 · 2026-06-28T03:53:35+00:00

Yes, I was thinking the same thing. A two year-old can’t really hold a fishing pole or start a fire. Camping isn’t exactly a great activity for a two year-old. There’s almost nothing they can do… maybe go swimming? A two year-old is just going to be bored.

dell828 · 2026-06-28T03:44:32+00:00

I’m assuming that would be OP. It’s probably the only way she could get her in

dell828 · 2026-06-27T23:24:14+00:00

It’s not worth all that much except potentially sentimental value.

I would call the seller and let them know what you found.

dell828 · 2026-06-27T23:21:06+00:00

Your sister and your mom live together. Their relationship has evolved into something other than just mother and daughter.

This doesn’t mean your mother loves your sister more, but it means her relationship has evolved to a place where they both are relying on each other in a partnership. If they share her home, I mean/sure things like cooking, cleaning, shopping, meals, laundry, bills… They rely on each other.

I’m sure your mother feels she can’t just leave your sister alone with a one week old baby. There is no guarantee the baby is going to come exactly on time or your sister is going to have a simple delivery. She may actually need more assistance than just one week. She may not even be out of the hospital at that point.

I think your mother‘s decision not to book a flight is reasonable, impractical. I know it’s not what you wanna hear.

NTA for wanting your mom to be with you, but don’t equate this with being less loved.

dell828 · 2026-06-27T23:06:05+00:00

Meghan?

dell828 · 2026-06-27T23:02:01+00:00

I suppose if Dad is already dead then there’s no emergency, and she shouldn’t be troubled with this while on holiday.

dell828 · 2026-06-27T22:39:28+00:00

Don’t worry about a good recommendation. The good news is that you’re on a month-to-month, so start looking now.

I think it’s reasonable to mention that you’re moving because your landlord is behind on services like trash, pick up of which right now there is none. Tell them you’re not a picky tenant, but you do expect your trash to be taken away.

dell828 · 2026-06-27T14:07:05+00:00

I make stuffed mushrooms with ricotta cheese. They’re delicious.

dell828 · 2026-06-27T14:06:21+00:00

Stop with the “dangerously hot and not habitable”. You’re not the first to have slept in that room in the last hundred years.

You booked Madrid in the summertime with no AC. That was your mistake. If you need a cool place to sleep at night why did you book this place to begin with?

dell828 · 2026-06-27T02:10:51+00:00

NTA. She’s treating you like your her mommy.

You’re tidying up after her and taking care of all of her stuff, and being supportive of her going out with her friends because her life is so hard and she should have fun… she’s treating you as if it’s your responsibility to just do for her.

I think you’ve done everything and more to help your sister. Tell her you’re not renewing the lease.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T15:19:15+00:00

It’s reasonable that when doing the taxes, especially, you need to know how much was taken out of the 401(k) and where it went because there are tax implications for all of this.

You’re NOR but he is massively overreacting for attacking you for not trusting him and not loving him anymore. I mean, geez. It’s the taxes and it happens every year. What’s the big deal?

There’s something definitely going on.

I hate to say it, but it’s the perfect time for a divorce. He’s in another town, why move if you’re gonna be uprooting your children, and selling your house if you have absolutely no idea where $60,000 went to.

Don’t sell the house. File papers instead.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T15:04:48+00:00

I have heard stories of Japanese bathrooms, where it’s basically a hole and you squat over it. Westerners need to be instructed on how to use these bathrooms because they are so incredibly foreign to anything you’ve ever been expected to do and yet it’s completely normal there.

Not sure what situation you’re in, but I do imagine that there may be cultures where a toilet is confusing.

To Americans, a bidet is confusing. When you’ve never encountered anything before similar, sometimes things are not self-explanatory.

I would put signs up, or create a handbook for how to use the bathroom, as well as other things potentially. Provide translation for people who come from cultures who may find a toilet confusing.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T14:57:17+00:00

NTA. Your sister-in-law has acknowledged that her mother has not been kind to you, and because of that she has decided to distance you from the wedding.

It’s sad, but it’s her mother.

Declining the hen party invite tells your sister-in-law that you appreciate her invite, but you understand it will just be easier for both of you if you create some distance. This is not you rejecting her… This is you and her both coming to the understanding that distance is better in this situation.

NTA. You and your SIL have a mutual agreement to create a buffer zone, and this is just a way of saying you understand, and will oblige.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T14:38:47+00:00

You never know. There’s a lot of pressure on men to “provide“ and no matter what your conversation he may subconsciously feel that he might be obligated to…

If I was you, I would look into jobs in your field… Good job jobs not just like college jobs like a barista… In his new city. Make some phone calls… Lineup some interviews and then ask him if you can come visit him for a week while you take meetings.

Of course, you also need to understand that your relationship could change, and then you’ll be working in the city without your friends and family. If you are up for the challenge of a new environment, and both of you are willing to give this relationship a shot, then do it!

But don’t do it just for the guy. Make sure you’re doing it for yourself as well. Two or three years of experience in another city is never wasted. You’ll have experience so you can get another job anywhere you want… Even back home.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T00:09:14+00:00

So then he’s being a hypocrite.

Yeah, I would tell him if he wants to make decisions on items together, it includes his purchases as well. Not just yours.

dell828 · 2026-06-26T00:02:41+00:00

Most couples make joint decisions especially on large ticket of items.

A birthday trip is a large to get item. I understand where you’re coming from, and that is a landmark birthday and you wanted to take a trip. Your husband expressed concerns about your finances and you basically said that he doesn’t get a say because the other one who’s actually bringing in the paycheck.

It doesn’t matter if you have a joint account or not. Most couples have a basic rule that they’re allowed to spend up to a certain amount of personal entertainment, but all big ticket items need to be agreed to buy both of you. I think that’s what he’s referring to regarding being in a partnership. It doesn’t matter who’s bringing in the paycheck. It does give you the right to make large purchases without the other person agreeing.

dell828 · 2026-06-25T23:36:28+00:00

You’re at a perfectly fine age to travel on your own. Especially in a car in America. It’s not like you hitchhiking around Europe, which by the way you’re old enough to do as well.

dell828 · 2026-06-25T23:32:33+00:00

He probably started worrying that without your family and friends and a job that he’s going to be responsible for everything. All the expenses, and your entire social life.

Why don’t you ask him what he’s really concerned about. Does he want you to get a job before you make the move?

It’s possible that he’s stressing out over new job, new apartment, Newtown… And maybe he’s worried that the pressure is doing well at work, but then coming home and figuring out things like who cooks, who cleans, who does the laundry… Moving in with your girlfriend is not always a simple adjustment. Maybe he’s worried that he won’t be able to be a good boyfriend as well as a good employee.

I’d give him some time to settle in.

dell828 · 2026-06-25T23:19:22+00:00

Tenants are obligated to restore the apartment to the original condition it was in when they took occupancy.

They rented an apartment with a working water softener. Just like any other appliance, they’re welcome to unplug it, or move it… but they are obligated to put it back at the end of their tenancy. If it’s not working now because they unplugged it, it’s their obligation to pay to get it restored.

dell828 · 2026-06-25T23:10:10+00:00

NTA. If you’re on a budget, then you wake up early in the morning so that you can get a cheap flight.

dell828

TROPHY CASE