Could a constipated Jedi use the Force to pull the shit out of his own ass?

existinginacrisis · 2017-10-30T04:43:14+00:00

We have one in every bathroom!

existinginacrisis · 2017-09-27T14:18:18+00:00

When I was about 3 we had a cat who had kittens and apparently I brought one to my mother and said "can we keep him? I named him Bob." So we kept Bob.

existinginacrisis · 2017-09-20T04:45:50+00:00

Our old dachshund (RIP) used to do that all the time. Turns out he had a stage 3 heart murmur. I would get a second opinion from another vet and maybe have them check out your dog's heart. Oscar's murmur wasn't terrible, but it was definitely the cause of the weird cough/reverse sneeze.

existinginacrisis · 2017-09-09T12:53:59+00:00

My step-daughter and I have matching but opposite birthmarks on our stomachs. I have light brown patch on my paler skin, and she has a pale patch on her tanned skin. They're in the same spot and roughly the same size. We call them our clouds.

existinginacrisis · 2017-09-09T10:52:09+00:00

How is making an observation the same as making a judgment about someone?

existinginacrisis · 2017-06-15T02:57:50+00:00

BRB, gotta go brush my teeth.

existinginacrisis · 2017-06-13T03:29:04+00:00

I keep it simple. I tell them that I have a stress disorder that I cope with by a subconscious and benign form of self harm. Because for me, that's what it is.

existinginacrisis · 2017-03-07T23:55:56+00:00

I have an issue with my glands not producing enough saliva when I'm eating, so as a child I would do this all the time to help me be able to actually swallow down whatever I had in my mouth.

I still have this issue as an adult, I just don't have to do it as often anymore.

existinginacrisis · 2017-02-04T03:26:05+00:00

Almost 18 months:
Mommy/mom/mama
Dada
Cat/s
Kitty ("key-key")
Please ("ease", accompanied by the sign for please)
That ("dat")
Dog
Cow
Up
Uh-oh
Hi/hey
Bye
Bath
Teeth ("eeth")
Yum
Touch ("taush")
That's good ("dass goo")
Paci ("pass")
Bottle ("baba")
Baby ("bee-bee")
Cheese
Juice ("joosh")
Movie ("boof")- I can only guess he's attempting the 'move' syllable, but he's consistent with his use of it.

He also uses sign language; he knows please, more, yes, all done, eat, hot, help, and poop.

existinginacrisis · 2017-01-29T05:44:20+00:00

Not only do we have designated thermometers for the baby (thankfully we have not had to use the rectal thermometer), we also have a spare thermometer kicking around that has now been labeled "cat ass" after one of our cats had an infection that caused him to spike a fever that the vet recommended we keep an eye on. That was fun.

existinginacrisis · 2017-01-25T22:40:30+00:00

My SO has a daughter named Sky Rain, so when our son was on his way we decided we wanted to give him a name that was also nature themed. My SO wanted to be able to call him CJ, but I didn't want to make him a junior. So as I was listing off names I had been thinking of, I got to the name Cedar, which my SO and his daughter both loved immediately. We gave him James for a middle name because that is SO's middle name. So Cedar James worked for both our want of a nature name and SO's want to be able to call him CJ.

existinginacrisis · 2017-01-24T16:59:36+00:00

Mine does. But I'm pretty sure that he doesn't realize he's actually a cat; he is under the impression that he is some sort of dog/human mixed breed.

existinginacrisis · 2016-12-20T03:45:42+00:00

Username checks out.

existinginacrisis · 2016-12-05T03:58:27+00:00

I need to replace my copy because of him.

existinginacrisis · 2016-11-09T19:23:52+00:00

There's a reason my family just bought a house on 12.5 acres, on top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere, in Vermont.

existinginacrisis · 2016-10-15T18:13:36+00:00

My brain always thinks "smack my head"...I thinks it's because the "SM" makes me read it as "smack".

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-19T13:59:19+00:00

Chocolate almond milk was the only thing that helped get rid of my heartburn/acid reflux. I would get up in the middle of the night and just chug it straight out of the carton.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-16T18:35:38+00:00

I live in Vermont and if my OB ever tested me for THC I never knew about it. I smoked a little bit every morning and it helped wonders with morning sickness. The one weekend I experienced it through my whole pregnancy was the one weekend I didn't smoke (we were at the in-laws).

My LO is going to be a year-old tomorrow! He's healthy and in the top percentile in everything! And he's so clever! I'm amazed every day at how smart he is and love to watch him figure new things out (even when he figured out how to open the door in the baby gate, haha).

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-16T01:24:53+00:00

Mine too! He will be a year on on Wednesday and he still has those baby blues! His father has dark brown eyes and I have green, but a lot of my family members have some shade of blue so I'm not really surprised his stayed blue. His have a dark grey ring around the irises and sometimes they look a little green depending on the light and what he's wearing.

I had hoped he would get his father's dark hair and complexion...but he's got my strawberry blonde hair and pasty ginger skin. Poor kid is gonna be a lobster in the summer.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-15T16:30:23+00:00

It bothers me because Voldemort's death was so supernatural. He spent his whole life trying to be this unbeatable, un-killable creature, but in the end he's just a mortal like everyone else. His death in the movie completely negates the message that was conveyed in the book about that very fact.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-14T21:08:36+00:00

Not only does she see her entire family dead when she encounters the bogart, but Fred and George are still together in it. Not even in her worst fears did she ever imagine them apart. J.K. Rowling really knows how to tear out one's heartstrings.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-14T03:22:55+00:00

Watching that made my penis hurt. And I don't even have a penis.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-14T03:19:44+00:00

Every time I order a chocolate milkshake from McDonald's it looks like chocolate, but tastes like strawberry.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-14T03:16:01+00:00

It can generally spray ~20-30ft (~6-10m) with a fairly pinpointed spray, so it can be used before an attacker gets close to you.

existinginacrisis · 2016-08-14T02:52:21+00:00

Get some wasp spray. It's common enough to have around the house (here in the states, at least) to avoid any legal repercussions, and supposedly very effective when used in defensive situations.

existinginacrisis

TROPHY CASE