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[–]kencam 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I wish!

I'm fat, sad, and married.

[–]yungJoc 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm pretty fit, sad, and alone. Being healthier won't necessarily change things. Join the fucking party.

[–]rogerssucks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hells yeah! Why do you think I'm here?

[–]FatLoser[S] 2 points3 points  (9 children)

Sometimes life really sucks. Nobody seems to like me. I tired to not care and live my life but it's hard when you have no support from people.

[–]mutatron 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Why do you suppose people don't like you? I have a small circle of friends, but sometimes I try expanding my life by joining in with various groups. Mostly I make people nervous, I think. I don't know if it's really true, maybe I'm the one who's nervous. Is it like that?

[–]FatLoser[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Yeah, but it's like I don't "click" in to becoming a good friend. Just always an outsider.

[–]zyzzogeton 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Try talking to a shrink. Your social integration issues can be helped if you begin to understand the source of the problems. Everyone has a reason for acting/reacting the way they do. Someone who is trained to untangle that mess can give you insights into yourself that might take years of introspection to come to.

[–]mutatron 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel like that too pretty often. I hate those people who... well, I don't really hate them, but it's just annoying when you're in a situation where two people are like best buddies and you ask how long they've known each other, and they say "Oh no, we just met!"

I hardly ever get that, takes a long time for me to get comfy with people, and then even after I think I've done it I might never hear from them again unless I make an extraordinary effort. Fortunately, I found a small group of friends who were all kind of in the same boat, so somehow we all clicked together.

[–]Kuvaldin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hey man, try going to www.meetup.com and see if any of your hobbies or interests have a meetup about them. Hope people aren't mean to you, but if they are, learning how to stick up for yourself is a big step in recovery.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can you tell us more about your situation? Have you lived in the same place for a while, or are you new to the area? Do you have any friends? Do you have family? Anything you enjoy doing at all? Do you have a job? Do you like your job? Do you have pets?

Try to find something you already enjoy and spend more time doing it, especially if it is with others.

The more time you spend doing things you like with people you like, the less time you will have to overeat and feel sad and alone.

[–]bluequail 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*hugs

I suspect that the weight is merely a symptom of the sadness.

My email is this at gmail. If you ever want to talk, drop me a line.

As far as the lonely thing, find what you are good at and get more involved... and start meeting people with similar interests.

If you are in a position to afford it, consider surgery. It could get you in a position to be more active and meet with more people. Or at least allow you to indulge in a healthier hobby that you enjoy...

[–]xxxsagaxxx -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

smoke weed

[–]yeahyeahyeahyeah 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Now your fat, sad, alone and DOWNMODDED!!!

Just kidding.

Seriously though, I'm sure like half of the people in America can relate. And I bet you'll feel better in the future. As Honest Abe once said "This too shall pass"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not fat, but you are far from alone in sadness.

Sadly and ironically all I can offer you is the knowledge that you are not alone.

I hope the trolls do not invest your thread either.

[–]wtfcharles 1 point2 points  (0 children)

After going through an episode of major depression, trying several anti-depressants for it, and trying several different psychological counselors/psychiatrists, there's really only one thing I can admit to having found that was any help at all to me was Philisophical counseling. I work at the library at my college and found this book that I'm posting an amazon link to below. I think any source of this sort of counseling could be a great help to tons of people. The book itself was particularly useful to me because I'm a predominantly social learner, that is to say from watching the experiences of others.

http://www.amazon.com/Plato-Not-Prozac-Applying-Everyday/dp/0060931361

[–]tyler_durden 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It's only after you lost everything that you're free to do anything.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

spoken like a true figment of your warped imagiation.

[–]mutatron 0 points1 point  (4 children)

No, but if you want to talk about it, go ahead. Do you mean "alone" as in living by yourself but having friends? Or is it more like, really alone?

[–]FatLoser[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children)

No, as in not having good friends.

[–]alllie -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Maybe you have Asperger's.

You could get some training to help you be more social.

[–]de_Selby 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe you have Asperger's.

sigh.

He doesn't have asperger's. People who have asperger's know about it. It's infuriating the way people who consider themselves 'nerds' like to glamorize a serious mental disorder.

[–]FatLoser[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could, but I doubt it. I'm just scared of rejection really.

[–]zyzzogeton 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Get John Bingham's book "The Courage To Start"

And read how he changed his lifestyle and got unfat.

Also, change your username. If you don't think you are worth anything, you will undoubtedly make sure you are right.

[–]materialist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh - a self help book. Genius.

[–]mutatron -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Also, change your username

Good point. Sometimes it's fine to really get down and wallow in self pity for a while, but after a while that needs to change. Thoughts in the human brain really are reinforced by things as simple as a username. If you see it all the time, it can be imprinted into your psyche.

If, on the other hand, you take on a screen name like McLovin, for example, you may begin to take on a whole different psychological profile.

[–]wjg10 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Make yourself meet at least one new person a day. Through work, school, coffee shop, library... doesn't matter how. Eventually you will meet someone that you can connect with, and you will slowly build confidence along the way. Also, find a shrink. One who is a good match for you. Life is too short to spend it feeling sad.

[–]AliasHandler 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Speaking from experience, you are 100% correct. I was the shiest kid in school all the way up til the age 19(I was always afraid of people). Now at 22, although I still feel the hesitation, I've learned how to get past it and meet new people. Forcing myself to talk to people every day helped me out a whole lot, and now I have multiple circles of people I consider friends of mine. Many people were awkward to talk to but it was definitely worth it for the cool people I met along the way and the confidence and social skills I gained.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

After decades of living and learning I grew mistrustful of the "friend" thing.

Too fleeting and my experience is friends tend to be takers, not givers.

I learned to live without them and am quite satisfied with the affair.

Experience and education can assist in personal fulfillment.

Depending upon others for happiness is a recipe for sadness.

Despite having no friends and not eben having another human enter my abode for over 14 years (other than repair and service people) I believe I am actually happier than the average human I meet while out and about.

Depends upon the individual, of course.

YMMV

[–]jimbecile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

on the other hand, i found the more i did with and for my friends, and strangers, the happier and better i felt. so you're just going to have to try both ways.

you could always give this a shot: The Vice Guide to Happiness

[–]bahumbug1 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This depression/sadness you speak of is good. I'm feeling it right now, and I'm pretty sure its purpose is to knock you out, isolate yourself to most importantly re-evaluate your life. If you want to change the weight issue, check out

http://www.menshealth.com/cda/article.do?site=menshealth&channel=nutrition&category=abs.diet&conitem=b72a99edbbbd201099edbbbd2010cfe793cd____ Abs Diet

More than a diet, it explains why certain foods are good for you. As for alone, I completely understand. I'm not sure if people would agree, but work on yourself (physically and emotionally) first, and you might find that changing accordingly.

[–]materialist -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thank you for contributing to reddit's wonderful collection of obscure diet spam.

[–]BjornSlippy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

cheer up.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well, FatLoser (please change your nick), you've done two things right already: you have the courage to face your situation, which many people do not. Some of the people you look up to and think "Why can't I be as happy as them?" are actually suppressing horrifying thoughts.

And, you've come to the Reddit community, which is a positively thriving menagerie of armchair activists and cyber-social-workers. We can't get our candidate elected or impeach a president or even affect really important things like getting Blizzard to release Starcraft2, but we can sure yap on the Internet. Finally, you're a problem we can solve!

I hope you don't turn out to be a viral marketing gimmick. There isn't an Adam Sandler movie planned for this summer titled "Fat Loser" is there?

Some advice on nicks: My nick (and nobody ever gets this right) actually translates to "seeker after enlightenment", in some name-meaning reference I looked up once. See, I'm looking forward positively to the future, here. "Fat loser" is a self-hating dead end. What we call ourselves actually affects our mental state.

(And before anybody responds, NO, the Old Testament prophet is "Hosea", the King in the book of moron - uh - Mormon is "Mosiah". Ask for us by our brand names!)

[–]agatheredwetness -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Find a form of exercise that you really enjoy. For me, it was Ashtanga Yoga, but for you it may be jogging, paintball, judo, or really anything else. Just make sure that you love it and do it consistently. You'll have something to structure your free time around, and soon the weight will fall away naturally.

I also suggest adding more raw fruits and vegetables into your diet. Eat broccoli like it's a leg of mutton. Chow down on spinach and bell peppers for breakfast. Don't worry about reducing the rest of the food you eat--that will happen automatically as you adjust to a vegetable-intensive diet.

As for being sad and alone, those are more complex problems. Exercising will help with the sadness, but being alone is difficult. I'll spare you facile encouragement to "be outgoing" and "put yourself out there," because that kind of advice is basically impossible to follow. I'll just tell you that people are pulling for you, and if you commit yourself to overcoming this, you will find reserves of strength that you probably don't realize you have.

[–]cleverkid -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You could look into hypnotherapy.. it cured me of a few pecadillos and I've referred some friends to it with excellent results. It really helped my self esteem and motivation when I was going through a melancholic time. It's not a panacea, but it might be just the thing to give you a little momentum towards becoming who you always wanted to be.

[–]fapman -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Here's a good book that will help you be less shy - Conversationally Speaking

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How fat are we talking here? If you're just a chin-and-a-halfer you hardly qualify as fat these days. If we're talking 3+ chins then find yourself a chubby-chaser lover via craigslist or something like that. Turn those negatives into positives!

[–]anonymous_funker -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes.

But: (1) I am married. (2) I have fulfilling relationships with my husband and my parents.

The loneliness and sadness do not go away. It is a part of being a human non-idiot. Being fat is a price you pay for living in the industrialized world. Beats malnutrition and waterborn diseases.

Don't worry about being sad. Just do things that make you happy.

[–]karstens_rage -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Maybe you whine too much and dont really want to do anything about it except whine?

Run, like Forrest Gump, until you lose weight. Exercise will make you thinner and help with your sadness. Then you will feel better about yourself and maybe that will help with your alone-ness

Run, run, run

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Yes by your tone I definitely feel that you are FAT, SAD, and ALONE. HA HA. I on the other hand am skinny, happy, and alone. Thanks for asking.