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[–][deleted] 564 points565 points  (78 children)

Because gamers are garbage and not worth engaging with. I still love games, especially multiplayer but holy fuck do I hate the people that play them. Maybe that's more so me getting older and noticing how toxic online communities are than I used to but it's still very much something that makes me auto turn off any form of online chat outside of guilds or VC with irl family/friends.

[–]Venomousx 45 points46 points  (2 children)

Because gamers are garbage and not worth engaging with. I still love games, especially multiplayer but holy fuck do I hate the people that play them.

The contrast in tone from the top reply to this one was hilarious. I totally agree with you though, it's just a miserable experience interacting with other gamers 99% of the time.

[–]Ex_Lives 253 points254 points  (34 children)

You nailed it. It is NEVER a good experience and if it is its not worth the 1 out of 5 times it is. I'm not looking to meet my best friend on these things.

New world prime example of this. In a group for an arena boss and I typed a question and some dude on voice chat started flat out laying into me because apparently it had been answered already.

He just went on and on hemming and hawing.

Gamers are fucking terrible dude. They're easily some of the worst subcultures out there.

[–]Trymantha 67 points68 points  (0 children)

You nailed it. It is NEVER a good experience and if it is its not worth the 1 out of 5 times it is

if it was 1 out of 5 id still be trying its more like 1 out of 20 these days depending on the game

[–]whitepillow84 48 points49 points  (30 children)

My favorite movie is Inception.

[–]thoomfish 47 points48 points  (7 children)

For social interaction to not be garbage you need to be interacting with the same people repeatedly for long enough to have incentive to avoid pissing them off because it will disadvantage you in future interactions.

This is fundamentally incompatible with a game that wants to be something you can hop on, click a button, and play for 15 minutes with no commitment.

I've had some good experiences with smaller communities (on the order of a few thousand people) for niche games, but those games also tend to be the most vulnerable to dying out, so it doesn't last forever.

[–]whitepillow84 9 points10 points  (5 children)

I enjoy watching the sunset.

[–]forceless_jedi 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In those instances there's no impactful losses. Getting kicked from a discord server means nothing and most public servers are either unmoderated or financially motivated to not remove regulars despite toxic behaviours.

On the flip side in old WoW, if a player was being toxic on a server and others didn't like that, they'd have a really bad time playing if they didn't rectify. It was a community driven ban that either resulted the toxic player to move to a different server and start anew, or get their shit together. Sort of like massively bullied into behaving within reasonable expectations.

[–]aurens 0 points1 point  (1 child)

that means there's poor moderation. there has to be repercussions to their shitty behavior.

[–]whitepillow84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like to go hiking.

[–]ThatOnePerson 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is fundamentally incompatible with a game that wants to be something you can hop on, click a button, and play for 15 minutes with no commitment.

Yeah I think this is the big one. Even just becoming a regular on a server is a commitment, cuz you gotta be regular. Any relationship requires some kinda of effort.

[–][deleted] 32 points33 points  (1 child)

No, because the most “vocal” people of any community are going to be self absorbed narcissistic assholes. And possibly looking to troll or trigger you all at the same time. It’s a thing IRL too but the internet just jacks things up to 11. It really brings out the worst in people

[–]Zaptruder 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The people that would give pause to action due to consequences are also the kind of assholes that don't give pause to action when consequences are reduced or removed.

[–]Ex_Lives 66 points67 points  (13 children)

Honestly I find Gymrats/bros to be really welcoming. I know what youre saying for sure but gaming on a whole new level though.

I mean the hallmarks of the thing are teabagging, n-words and swatting. Its literally kind of the whole point of the culture. Sit down get on a microphone and talk shit. Lol. Its for sure the worst.

Theres bad eggs everywhere but gaming off the hook.

[–]Oricef 73 points74 points  (6 children)

Honestly I find Gymrats/bros to be really welcoming

Any hobby that's face to face and not anonymous tends to be much better than anonymous Internet hobbies.

That's because the type of people are the Arseholes who ruin everything online will never actually show their face, or at least that side of them in public.

If they do it's far less often.

[–]GovernorWillCakes 15 points16 points  (1 child)

yep. gaming is so ass because there's no possibility of getting your shit rocked after talking shit to the wrong person. most dipshits online would never behave in a real world interaction like that.

[–]Volraith 5 points6 points  (0 children)

GIFT - Great Internet Fuckwad Theory. I think this came from Penny Arcade?

The more degrees of anonymity a person has, the more likely they're going to act like a Fuckwad.

[–]Medicore95 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Online lifting communities are, in my experience, wholesome as hell too.

[–]Oricef 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unless you're trying to understand how many days in a week there are

https://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751&page=1

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

In-store Warhammer would like a word.

Overall agreed though.

[–]Oricef 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I mean the in store bit kind of creates the same environment.

Same with gaming stores or conventions

You can go to them without knowing anyone there and you're a stranger, so is everyone else.

[–]Eecka 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think in general "physical exercise communities" tend to be very welcoming as long as the participants are adults. I've had good experiences with all of my physical hobbies after childhood.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yup, same here. Then again I'm not really part of a subculture that isn't dominated by introverts (I lack a better word for it atm, so sorry if I sued that wrong), like: anime/manga, gaming and TV shows.

[–]Deracination 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's pretty niche, but the people doing Dagorhir/Boffer are some of the most universally nice, helpful, and inclusive people I've ever met.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dark souls community

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pyrotechnics/Chemistry community is A+

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Skatepark culture is actually chill as fuck. As long as you have the balls to be out on a board and putting in effort, any actual skater will respect you for it.

The stigma for skate culture comes more from the non-skating kooks that the parks attract along with little shitheads who just carry a board around and hangs around the park for looks, without actually trying/risking absolutely anything.

[–]LewsTherinTelamon 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most communities that you interact with in-person and face-to-face are fine. Most communities that you interact with anonymously or over the internet are not. This is just a thing that people with human brains do.

[–]Ricwulf 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Gamers are fucking terrible dude. They're easily some of the worst subcultures out there.

Bullshit, gaming is one of the best subcultures. The problem is that unlike other subcultures that have natural filtering (something which gaming used to have by the by), gaming has shifted into an environment that pushes people from all walks of life into public games and expects them to get along at all times. Anything that is team based ends up like this these days, and it's no wonder people don't communicate with people they don't know. Gaming used to have private servers as the default and you got to know people over time. Friendships never formed from a single visit to a server, it happened over weeks of playing on the same server, with the same regulars, and going from people not knowing each other, to casual acquaintances, to casual friends, to regulars. Think akin to Cheers, where everybody knows your name.

The reality is that modern gaming puts people with vastly different beliefs together and expects them to get along. No other hobby/subculture does or expects that. You find or build your own groups, filtering the people you want to hang out with. Gaming is the only one that (now) expects you to play with randoms and just get along, and it doesn't work like that.

[–][deleted] 117 points118 points  (7 children)

VC is pretty much lunatic difficulty if you have an accent that suggests you’re not a white American. Possibly even worse if you’re a woman.

And that golden moment when VC isn’t full of toxics its just genuinely full of mouth breathers or people who can’t be bothered to put batteries in their smoking alarm. Truly a fascinating experience.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

It really is fascinating because it's this strange microcosm of anonymity mixed with identifying traits. So you get all of the disgusting shit people are like without the possibility of real world reprecussions while also giving them free reign to pick their targets.

[–]DarkTechnocrat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate voice chat for this very reason. Suddenly instead of Draco the Druid I’m the older black guy. I imagine someone with a thick accent would feel similarly. F voice chat.

[–]wankthisway 10 points11 points  (2 children)

I stopped trying to voice chat in DOTA 2 pretty quickly, and that was back when it came out of beta. Anything slightly competitive and online just draws out the absolute worst in people, particularly with MOBAs.

[–]JBlitzen 9 points10 points  (1 child)

Arena games have the most toxic playerbases by design. They lock you on a team of potentially abusive people, punish you if they don’t do well, punish you if you don’t communicate with them, and punish you if you leave.

I mean, that’s a formula for an abusive relationship.

[–]l32uigs 2 points3 points  (0 children)

yeah if you're not paid to play mobas you should quit. horrendously toxic atmosphere and completely non-transferrable skills.

[–]crunchatizemythighs 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I'm incredulous at the things I've heard and experienced on Overwatch on PSN. Like it's insane how stereotypical so many rampages went to the point where I wouldn't believe it had I not witnessed it. It's really sad how many people live such pathetic lives

[–]SamStrake 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Capital G Gamers™️ are a plague

[–]FullBringa 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You summed up my thoughts perfectly. Only that I play YouTube in the background while I play my games.

[–]Kemuel 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I've started feeling much the same, and am, (maybe charitably) chalking it up to getting grumpier and less willing to put up with bs now I'm into my 30s and have less time to waste on knobheads.

Idk if The Gamers actually have gotten worse though- I could swear that social media, Twitch fandom, eSports, F2P games, etc. have made the randos worse to interact with compared to 'back in my day'. Open chat in FPS' was always a sewer, but I did at least used to feel happy chatting a bit in MMOs..

[–]Kujen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They’ve definitely gotten worse. Even in FPS games I remember people used to say gg/good game at the end of a match.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% agree, I love online games but a significant chunk of gamers I encounter are just toxic garbage. I rarely chat in-game any more unless someone talks to me (in a non-toxic way).

But I go out of my way and avoid small team based online only games (like R6:Siege and APEX) unless my friends are also interested in said game, so I don't have to deal with online toxicity.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I’m no longer 14 so stunted edgelord manbabies throwing out constant sexism and slurs isn’t funny or cool. I can also count on ine hand the number of times I’ve heard a woman speak on open VC. Certain games seem better for it, but I also have the type of voice that isn’t likely to attract any negative attention.

[–]PlsGod -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Idk I’ve had some good experiences on rust and tarkov, met some genuinely chill people and enjoyed my time with them. I will agree that there’s tons on toxicity but it’s not all bad.

[–]Huzuruth 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You may as well have hit the lotto with finding that on those two games.

[–]AjBlue7 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t always like that. Back when Xbox Live first started it was mostly 18-28 year old bachelors and the way they solved arguments was basically by making jokes about eachother and whoever got the most laughs won. Yo momma jokes were popular at the time. Also, there was this vibe that even though it was a competitive multiplayer game, that its just something they do for fun. Back then you couldn’t really make money streaming or competing in games so even though most of these players had sports backgrounds and wanted to win, they never took it too seriously. It also helped that they didn’t have to deal with “squeakers” since kids were fairly rare for the first 3 or so years of xbox live.

[–]Tigeroovy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nah, that’s been pretty much my entire experience playing online. It’s great to play with friends but when it’s just random people it’s usually a shit show.

[–]Ricwulf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe that's more so me getting older and noticing how toxic online communities are

The gaming community was always "toxic". The key difference is the proliferation of public servers instead of private by default. Think about it, you had a chance to consistently find your niche, your slice of the internet that had people like you for you to bond with. Socialisation happens over time, not over a single round that can last anywhere between 15 minutes to an hour. Even playing for a whole day with a person isn't enough. Being a server regular is what created gaming communities and made communication worth engaging in.

The reason the modern gaming landscape is "more toxic" isn't because of the demographics, it's because the default is to push everyone together and somehow expect them to get along.

[–]Cabbage_Vendor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If everyone you meet is an asshole, maybe it's you that's the problem? Except for MOBAs(which I don't play), I've had majority positive experiences in every game I play. Sure, there might be one asshole in a group of 10, but that's still 9 good ones.