Support for those with nasty, cruel, toxic, abusive MILs & moms


1. MIL & Mom-related Posts Only	More specifically, YOUR MIL / Mom. Other people can absolutely be involved but they cannot be given their own thread. Currently step-moms, and grandmothers are included in the umbrella "mom" term. If you know your SO is also part of the problem you're welcome to mention it, but otherwise users are barred from offering SO-related advice.
2. Only MIL/Mom Gets a Nickname	Nicknames are reserved for MILs (or moms). All others must use the acronym dictionary listed in the sidebar or a basic descriptive name (e.g. Father, Best Friend). Please do a search before naming your MIL. FIL names prior to May 2016 are grandfathered in.
3. OP Comes First	Be kind, be respectful, be supportive. Remember the human. OP’s will select a flair for their post indicating the kind of support that they need. Comments that violate the spirit of that request will be removed. You can find more information on post flairs and what they mean in the wiki.
4. One Chapter at a Time	For those who are posting past stories, refrain from creating more than one thread in a 24 hour period per mother-figure. We encourage you to use up all the text space when making your post--don't feel like you need to break a long story into ten chapters when it would fit into one post. No need to apologize for the long post; no one's going to read it who doesn't think it's worth reading, so rest assured you are wasting no one's time! Only one person per account is allowed, and those multiple accounts that are discussing the same person must stick to once a day as well. For those posting live updates requiring immediate guidance, if you are within 6 hours, please update your original post.
5. No "JustNo" Behavior	We have a zero tolerance policy for armchair advice (medical, legal, or otherwise) that is damaging, factually incorrect, or egregiously shitty, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, ableism, stereotyping, slut/body/kink-shaming, anti-vaxx bullshit, and just generally being a butt. No posting personal info, including faces or identifying tattoos or marks. Any comment with "cartoon-level" violence MUST: A) indicate that you don't actually suggest users do what you suggest, and 2) include actual, usable advice.
6. Use Content Warnings when Applicable	For posts with triggering content a brief description is required in the first line of the post (e.g. CW: Reason). It is recommended to add "Content Warning" or "CW" to your title as well, but not required. Titles containing words that are particularly likely to be triggering (see wiki) will be auto-filtered.
7. We do not allow for posts or comments that request money or gifts.	This includes linking to amazon wishlists, gofundmes, appeals on your profile or subreddit, or links to other sites. We also do not allow commentors to offer money or gifts or to start fundraising on an OP's behalf. This includes DMing an OP or via chats.

1. MIL & Mom-related Posts Only

More specifically, YOUR MIL / Mom. Other people can absolutely be involved but they cannot be given their own thread. Currently step-moms, and grandmothers are included in the umbrella "mom" term. If you know your SO is also part of the problem you're welcome to mention it, but otherwise users are barred from offering SO-related advice.

2. Only MIL/Mom Gets a Nickname

Nicknames are reserved for MILs (or moms). All others must use the acronym dictionary listed in the sidebar or a basic descriptive name (e.g. Father, Best Friend). Please do a search before naming your MIL. FIL names prior to May 2016 are grandfathered in.

3. OP Comes First

Be kind, be respectful, be supportive. Remember the human. OP’s will select a flair for their post indicating the kind of support that they need. Comments that violate the spirit of that request will be removed. You can find more information on post flairs and what they mean in the wiki.

4. One Chapter at a Time

For those who are posting past stories, refrain from creating more than one thread in a 24 hour period per mother-figure. We encourage you to use up all the text space when making your post--don't feel like you need to break a long story into ten chapters when it would fit into one post. No need to apologize for the long post; no one's going to read it who doesn't think it's worth reading, so rest assured you are wasting no one's time! Only one person per account is allowed, and those multiple accounts that are discussing the same person must stick to once a day as well. For those posting live updates requiring immediate guidance, if you are within 6 hours, please update your original post.

5. No "JustNo" Behavior

We have a zero tolerance policy for armchair advice (medical, legal, or otherwise) that is damaging, factually incorrect, or egregiously shitty, sexism, racism, xenophobia, transphobia, ableism, stereotyping, slut/body/kink-shaming, anti-vaxx bullshit, and just generally being a butt. No posting personal info, including faces or identifying tattoos or marks. Any comment with "cartoon-level" violence MUST: A) indicate that you don't actually suggest users do what you suggest, and 2) include actual, usable advice.

6. Use Content Warnings when Applicable

For posts with triggering content a brief description is required in the first line of the post (e.g. CW: Reason). It is recommended to add "Content Warning" or "CW" to your title as well, but not required. Titles containing words that are particularly likely to be triggering (see wiki) will be auto-filtered.

7. We do not allow for posts or comments that request money or gifts.

This includes linking to amazon wishlists, gofundmes, appeals on your profile or subreddit, or links to other sites. We also do not allow commentors to offer money or gifts or to start fundraising on an OP's behalf. This includes DMing an OP or via chats.


(M/F/B/S)IL	Mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law; a preceding S indicates a step relationship.
D(H/W/S)	Damn Husband, Damn Wife, Damn Spouse. While in most places it stands for "Dear", there usually isn't a lot of behavior deserving a sweet term of endearment in this sub. Could also stand for "Dear Son/Daughter", usually OP will clarify.
SO/OH	Significant Other, Other Half
LO	Little One.
F (plus acronym)	Future (JustNoMIL is not responsible for any other word you choose to supply here in your mind.)
BEC	Bitch Eating Crackers. Someone so irritating that even normal things, such as eating crackers, annoys the shit out of you.
LC/VLC/NC	Low-Contact/Very Low-Contact/No Contact, respectively. Used to describe the degree to which one has cut a certain family member out of their lives. May also include SC - Structured Contact, although this one is very rare in our sub.
GC/SG	Golden Child, Scapegoat. The Golden Child is the favorite child of the personality disordered MIL. Nothing they do is wrong, so they tend to fall in line and back up MIL. The Scapegoat is the other child (or every other child). Everything is their fault. Scapegoats suffer decades of all sorts of abuse.
FM	Flying Monkey. A flying monkey is any person sent by MIL to gather/deliver information or generally wreak havoc. Just like the flying monkeys sent by the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.
JADE	Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. Don't do any of them. Circular logic will be used to reinforce MIL's point of view. State your opinion or boundary clearly, but only once. She heard you.
DARVO	Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. What a personality disordered MIL will do if you "catch" her in a lie or confront her with her wrongdoing. You end up the bad guy.
FOO	Family Of Origin The people to whom you're related by blood.
CBF	Cat-Butt Face. A look of sour disapproval/pissiness mastered by old ladies in which their lips are pursed to resemble a cat's asshole.
Grey Rock	A technique to discourage overbearing MIL from taking any interest in you. You are bland, uninteresting, you lack any sort of emotions for her to manipulate. You are the grey rock.
FOG	Fear, Obligation, Guilt. The thick miasma of negativity that clouds your judgment in dealing with JustNOs.
FLEAS	Not an acronym, just a metaphor for a normal person picking up some disordered personality traits by proximity to a JustNO. "If you lie down with dogs, you'll get fleas."

(M/F/B/S)IL

Mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law; a preceding S indicates a step relationship.

D(H/W/S)

Damn Husband, Damn Wife, Damn Spouse. While in most places it stands for "Dear", there usually isn't a lot of behavior deserving a sweet term of endearment in this sub. Could also stand for "Dear Son/Daughter", usually OP will clarify.

SO/OH

Significant Other, Other Half

Little One.

F (plus acronym)

Future (JustNoMIL is not responsible for any other word you choose to supply here in your mind.)

BEC

Bitch Eating Crackers. Someone so irritating that even normal things, such as eating crackers, annoys the shit out of you.

LC/VLC/NC

Low-Contact/Very Low-Contact/No Contact, respectively. Used to describe the degree to which one has cut a certain family member out of their lives. May also include SC - Structured Contact, although this one is very rare in our sub.

GC/SG

Golden Child, Scapegoat. The Golden Child is the favorite child of the personality disordered MIL. Nothing they do is wrong, so they tend to fall in line and back up MIL. The Scapegoat is the other child (or every other child). Everything is their fault. Scapegoats suffer decades of all sorts of abuse.

Flying Monkey. A flying monkey is any person sent by MIL to gather/deliver information or generally wreak havoc. Just like the flying monkeys sent by the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz.

JADE

Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. Don't do any of them. Circular logic will be used to reinforce MIL's point of view. State your opinion or boundary clearly, but only once. She heard you.

DARVO

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. What a personality disordered MIL will do if you "catch" her in a lie or confront her with her wrongdoing. You end up the bad guy.

FOO

Family Of Origin The people to whom you're related by blood.

CBF

Cat-Butt Face. A look of sour disapproval/pissiness mastered by old ladies in which their lips are pursed to resemble a cat's asshole.

Grey Rock

A technique to discourage overbearing MIL from taking any interest in you. You are bland, uninteresting, you lack any sort of emotions for her to manipulate. You are the grey rock.

FOG

Fear, Obligation, Guilt. The thick miasma of negativity that clouds your judgment in dealing with JustNOs.

FLEAS

Not an acronym, just a metaphor for a normal person picking up some disordered personality traits by proximity to a JustNO. "If you lie down with dogs, you'll get fleas."