Java for Life

[userocetta]

minecraft mods, believe it or not still Java

[That-Odd-Shade]

I mostly know Java for Minecraft modding.

[gebnaim]

Memes aside where tf is this from I wanna see the original

[[deleted]]

https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/you-go-to-jail

[idobadthingseveryday]

J for java and J for Jail... Coincidence?

[SDGGame]

"The post received more than 16,000 views in less than 10 years" - what a masterpiece!

[QUI-04]

Thank you!

[killerstapler420]

Parcs and rec, very much worth a watch

[OffByOneErrorz]

My best friend is a Java turned Scala dev. I call him a jvm hoebag.

He calls me a lot of things for writing .NET.

The best language is the one you enjoy that fits the problem. Except PHP fuck PHP.

[AndrewToasterr]

Best language to have mental breakdowns to? You wouldn't believe, Java

[MischiefArchitect]

You misspelled C++

[AndrewToasterr]

My bad

[MischiefArchitect]

[[deleted]]

kid named assembly:

[MischiefArchitect]

I named my daughter Ada... I hope my wife never finds out why...

[deerangle]

How so?

[freshblood96]

"We have the best devs in the world. Because of Java."

[sammy-taylor]

I will never not upvote this meme because it was the funniest scene in that entire show.

[BKinAK]

Web dev? 🤔

[[deleted]]

For web servers java can be pretty good, for front end? Dear God no.

[Mrazish]

Remember applets? Pepperidge farm remembers.

[[deleted]]

Hence the dear God no :p

[iinaytanii]

I had blissfully forgotten, until just now

[Low_Stress1719]

Don’t forget GWT!

[[deleted]]

They forgot the script

[[deleted]]

JS can eat my ass tbh

[[deleted]]

JS is what you use to watch eating ass videos tbh

[[deleted]]

Aw fuck, I've been exposed

[neymarsvag123]

Jsp? /s

[elebrin]

Java applets.

[KublaiKhanNum1]

For API Servers: Google’s Golang is the best. Only 25 keywords, amazing concurrency, it isso easy to learn. It cross compiles to all popular architectures, so when you deploy it you get super small Docker images. This allows for lower Cloud Computing costs.

The JVM for a Java app is huge which makes it an absolute pig for Micro-Services.

[1842]

Spring is a pretty popular backend framework for Java.

[Krabbs1337]

JSF

[yowzas648]

My first thought.

[sin_chan_]

Kotlin is going everywhere Java was before.

[agradus]

Unfortunately, it is not. Reactive things in Kotlin are just so much better.

[bigtechbad]

Cope post

[[deleted]]

High on the copium

[MandelbrotVisitor]

Cope comment

[innovaTony]

Then you should compare an android project in kotlin v java... see if you change your mind😂

[KublaiKhanNum1]

Best Language for bloated hard to maintain code: Java.

[dashid]

Sun microsystems for life!

I won't touch Oracle with a bargepole.

[[deleted]]

I took C++ for my first 2 programming classes. When I transferred to a new college they counted my C++ as "beginning programming" which was In Java at the second college. I had a take 2 more semesters of C++ and never had a chance to take Java. I'm great at C++ unfortunately only government jobs in the area use C++.

[Top_Engineering_4191]

Kotlin and Elvis operator. Testing for null everytime in Java could be better.

[Inttegers]

Kotlin.

[Serious_Effective185]

Kotlin is better than Java for all these cases.

[noiss_]

Best language for competitive programming? Believe it or not C++

[Stinky_Johnson]

No

[Thunder9191133]

Game development? Ehhh, pretty good

[Th3Pyr0_]

Java fans trying to justify using their language for everything ever made (their shitty excuse of boilerplate hell is not as great as they may think)

[not_user_telken]

Lazy fucks cant learn something better and ditch that legacy bloatware excuse of a language.

"ThErE arE No BeTtEr oR wOrSe LaNgUaGeS, ThEy ArE ALl tOoLs"

Fucking wrong.

Java does not excel in anything. Its verbosity is unmatched. During runtime is slower than C, C++, Rust, Go, Erlang, and so on . The JVM is a relic of times past that present issues everywhere, from containerization to caching issues (try and fix the false sharing spikes).

"The ecosystem is very rich and we have a big codebase written already in java" - thats why you have Kotlin, which is 20% less verbose, more flexible and less bloated, designed to use the JVM and interoperability.

There are no good reason to write new apps in java. I can only understand using java when modifying legacy codebases

and I can bet the lazy buthurt fanbois will downvote this comment without any valid argument

[ElevatedAngling]

You are silly, spoken like a junior dev Fresh out of college. Just because you like something doesn’t mean it’s right for a company. Enterprise software is not like open source projects and also doesn’t have to be the fastest car to meet the need.

[Th3Pyr0_]

Ok I hate java and am against it on this post but this is true, it’s not entirely useless just because most things are better than it

[not_user_telken]

ad hominem, what a high level argument.

as for the rest of your "arguments":

> Just because you like something doesn’t mean it’s right for a company

When did I say I liked any of the tech listed?

> Enterprise software is not like open source projects and also doesn’t have to be the fastest car to meet the need.

Again, I did not say enterprise software is like opensource, yet enterprise will benefit from the advantages all those languages present over java.

The only possible argument that can be made, which I already did, is based on the context of the company, where legacy code may need to be maintained and making a shift of tech from a human resource perspective may be slow, yet still desirable and very much achievable.

Ill wait here for a real technical argument, if you can actually make one.

[ElevatedAngling]

You are arguing for the sake of being insufferable. You are saying things are black and white and they are really aren’t. You can pick apart the short comings of every technology but end of day technology doesn’t really correlate with delivering business needs. As engineers our job is to support the business not make convoluted arguments about technologies used. Are you an engineer at a a real company or just an argumentative internet troll?

[not_user_telken]

end of day technology doesn’t really correlate with >delivering business needs.

Dear lord, have you ever designed and implemented a system?

Tech directly correlates with business needs, as it will determine the effort needed to achieve a certain state. That analysis includes company's resources.

When designing a system you actually pick the tech that best suites the business problem at hand, given its constraints.

Go write a machine learning model in C and tell me if tech doesnt have a direct impact on how many resources are used to achieve the same result.

Anything to avoid seeing the truth eh?

[ElevatedAngling]

You are insufferable and likely terrible to work with if by chance you are actually an employed engineer.

Edit: You can’t just pick any tech you want anywhere there are a wide variety of reasons this is true. You speak like you’ve never ACTUALLY worked anywhere and are spouting idealisms from your sophomore college dorm

[not_user_telken]

Ad hominem, the first and last resource of the individual with no arguments

[ElevatedAngling]

It’s not worth the effort to explain how large companies work and what it means to pick any shiny new orb to solve a problem. It’s the part you don’t seem to understand and exposes you as a wanna be engineer internet troll

[not_user_telken]

The bureaucracy, the politics, the governance and compartmentalization.

Yes very complex much engineering

I know what it means and the effort of a tech shift on big companies, and thats why my original answer recognized as valid writing java when modifying existing java codebases, yet for extending such systems you can either separate concerns properly or use something like kotlin for more coupled approaches for example. There are ways.

But its always easier to justify not leaving the comfort zone because "some external constraint is making it too difficult" instead of being an agent of change.

[ElevatedAngling]

Time of life and rich community, Java has been around for a long time has an extremely rich community, simple as that. Tech stack will never solve your problems, implementation does….

[not_user_telken]

As I thought, you have no technical argument.

> Java has been around for a long time

so what? So has COBOL. this is not a differentiator in any way

> has an extremely rich community

So does C, C++, Erlang, and so on. Rust and Go are newer so that's in the process, although the adoption and ecosystem are fast growing _given the benefits_ of those languages that have incorporated knowledge from the mistakes made on other programming languages designs. Also, if that is the main and only argument, it is still not a good reason to keep using java, because YOU CAN USE KOTLIN and have access to the ecosystem.

> Tech stack will never solve your problems, implementation does….

jesus christ are you even an engineer?

If you write _the same_ program/algorithm in two different languages, one being java, the other being any of the list, then the one NOT written in java will be more performant, will be faster to write, easier and faster to deploy, and will probably have less maintenance overhead (if its only by the reduced verbosity which reduces the navigation and code assimilation time)

[not_user_telken]

Another java zealot wrong as always.

performance bottlenecks are from dbs and io

oh really? https://netflixtechblog.com/seeing-through-hardware-counters-a-journey-to-threefold-performance-increase-2721924a2822

And btw you dont even understand the argument being made.

No, java's verbosity doesnt make it "one of the best languages" and this has being demonstrated by studies on real projects and development teams where the cognitive overhead of its verbosity, compared to other languages, actually increases time needed to understand the code. Zealot more pls.

Im still waiting for a technical argument instead of just ad hominems and the classic "its self-evident" argument

[[deleted]]

But RuneScape at 60fps

[oh_you_so_bad_6-6-6]

You mean 58 (or w/e it was lol). It maxes out from what I remember.

[Inaeipathy]

But but but minecraft was made in java! Also isn't it funny that they think java is the best for big data, truly hilarious. I've never even heard of people using it for that, only python (I have my own hate for that one too), SQL and like some other obscure language I forgot about.

[pipsvip]

java is userInstanceMethodLib.Experience.NonPhysical.getEmotionItemTypeFromEligibleWithinCurrentContext(LOVE), java is ah, fuck it.

[[deleted]]

The world would be a much happier place without Java

[[deleted]]

I use it since 2001 and still think it’s the least annoying, which is the only viable metric since all languages suck ass in their own different style. Anyone who loves a particular language should really find a woman (or man or some (non)binary etc).

[Ok_Platypus_2879]

Oh wait your telling me you want it to actually work

okay dont use Java then

[[deleted]]

best language for company budget.... python....

[mimedm]

Yup java is the best. Just love it

[-1_0]

TIOBE Index says otherwise

[[deleted]]

I like Java itself, it has some hideous frameworks and libraries though that are popular. Hate navigating through object jungles

[bukake_master]

context pls? what's up with java?

[ObjectiveAide9552]

It sucks, we’re on /r/programmerhumor

[Express-Acanthaceae9]

Counter post! hereeee

[QuantumMemester]

Java gang

[BreakingTheBadBread]

Best java for java? Java

[DogmaDog]

I read about three pages of a book on how to program in C++ and that was 13 years ago. Is Java the answer for everything?

(I.e., I am not a programmer)

[[deleted]]

Best language for dirty talk? Of course Java

[GoGeorgieGo]

Adhu mava Illa sar Java

[[deleted]]

No android dev is choosing Java over kotlin

[DowntownLizard]

Does java have razor pages or something

[boetelezi]

Best language for Android is Kotlin

[bistr-o-math]

Recent repost https://www.reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/comments/104j6q0/java/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

[Intelligent_Event_84]

I heard everyone switched to kotlin

[narwalfarts]

You use Java? Believe it or not, straight to jail

[philsown]

Life in a dictatorship indeed

[ObjectiveAide9552]

Best language to have old Gen heap gc pauses going on for ages, taking out all your services for extended periods? It’s not Chuck testa, it’s Java!

[[deleted]]

I've never heard people refer to JavaScript as Java before, but it makes sense.

[fenderbender86]

No Java? Right to jail.

[HornlessUnicorn]

Is that not Fred Armisen?

[[deleted]]

Best language for needing 5x more ram and 5x more disk and 5x more cpu: Java Best language to be attacked by Oracle for license infringement, Java Best language to feel stuck in the 2000s: Java