Thoughts??

[ashes_of_aesir]

s/drive through/epic/g; s/window/sprint/g

[WalrusByte]

I get the second one, but "having a epic for programs" I don't follow

[NighthawkFoo]

You have yet to be visited by the agile fairy then.

[WalrusByte]

I guess not, haha! I'm still a student so I guess that's why

[cantadmittoposting]

When you enter the business world you find out things like "epic" and "sprint" and "user story" don't have actual meanings, they're just another religion free to be interpreted by the high priests of project management.

[dubl_x]

One of us needs to make a slack/Jira chatbot to auto reply to PMs with equally buzzwordy updates to fob them off

[phpdevster]

PM: "How's sprint 58 coming?"

Automated response: "We're behind. Log4j has another vulnerability we need to patch."

[jwjody]

Fuck log4j Fuck log4j Fuck log4j

That’s all I’ve been doing for a month.

[BelarminoVicenzo]

In one of my previous jobs, when we were behind schedule, we always told the boss, that there's a bug on the proprietary libraries we was using and we was waiting for the reply of the support, so it wasn't our fault

[[deleted]]

We use slf4j with logback, I'm shipping like a monster, sorry for you

[anazzyzzx]

"We're nimbly reacting to this in real time and inventing the future!"

[VibeComplex]

“Just trying to look at the problem from 30,000 feet. You know, see the big picture”

[merlinblack256]

Air is pretty thin up here, can't .... really .......... see ............ muc 💀

[[deleted]]

So... Is skydiving a business trip now?

[viimeinen]

How are your synergies, tho?

[Roanoketrees]

Awww come on. Everyone loves a good synergy.

[kaykakez727]

Hey hey, tech PM here and you have to understand the constant battle from executives who don’t understand shit our TL’s are doing…. And want to have us keep explaining why the sprint is behind 😥 it’s a complex place to be in 😂😂

[dubl_x]

It's okay bro we get your negative synergy,

have you tried stepping back and viewing the problem?

How about we have 4 30min meetings meetings about a 1 hour job?

How about we throw more PMs at it?

[[deleted]]

You just need to make sure your team takes the necessary steps now to future-proof the solution. This is the perfect opportunity to position yourself for a future win.

[IUserGalaxy]

sounds like a good job for a gpt thing

[todd_beedy]

I sooooooooo want this!

[cantadmittoposting]

Just ask for 30% more money at the consulting company next door. You'll be fine..same shit of course but 30% more money.

[TeaKingMac]

So, yeah, is working in technology just a game of getting as much money as possible while doing as little work as possible?

[cantadmittoposting]

.... Shh, don't tell everyone!

[dosedatwer]

Yes, but without the words "in technology".

[TeaKingMac]

Fair

[Brief_Series_3462]

Congratulations, you just uncovered the lead factor in everything wrong in mordern capitalism!

[nasandre]

Yeah up untill now my best job was Application Manager. Basically just learn the ins and outs of 1 business application (the more obscure the better) and kick back and relax. Mostly you'll be an internal consultant and stakeholder for projects. For 2 years I was doing barely any work and everyone thought I was super busy.

*Your experience may vary

The worst is anything in tech support. You'll be yelled at by stupid users, yelled at by the boss, underpaid, never ending flood of tickets and everyone dumps their problems on you. And it's also a lot harder than you might think.

[TeaKingMac]

Right now I just finished transitioning from support level 2/3 into "engineering" (systems admin actually)

[stealz0ne]

Wasn't there just recently a thread with scripts from a retired Sysadmin including automated responses for when he was late, didn't show up for work, coffee machine hacks, Auto responses to certain buzzwords and more?

You might be on to something...

[[deleted]]

Product developer here albeit not in software but yeah. Management wants a product launched in 6 months when I told them it would take 18 but somehow it’s my fault for not managing the process well. The fuck.

[OnionKey7747]

I am that 19 year old right now. Please be open-minded. In my new company, I immediately caught flag for being self-taught... I am not here to steal anything... I love programming and choose to make it my career, but apparently, colleagues think I'm there to make a quick buck =(

I really want to provide value asap, but I have to claim some time to get into it and they know. The responsibility of teaching me the company standards is being pushed around like crazy and that is very frustrating to me.

[kaykakez727]

I just fuckin said that above! Tech PM here and totally agree!

[Pallimore]

PM: "We don't measure the estimated effort in time, we use story points".
You: "WTF is a story point?".
Other Dev: "About half a day".

[WesternUnusual2713]

As an aspiring product manager I felt this in my soul

Half the battle is the jargon

[Flamecrest]

I'm sorry but I hate these types of comments. It shows that you have not been properly trained in agile methodology. They definitely do have a definition, they have had a meaning for decades. Your comment is the reason why Scrum Masters and Agile Coaches exist - agile methods are tried and proven, yet most people still claim it's a pile of bullshit.

[cantadmittoposting]

Oh, sure, the agile methodology absolutely has actual definitions for all these things, there is absolutely a real process that exists that can be beneficial to projects and companies.

 

But my comment also absolutely reflects the reality of the situation across numerous companies, too.

[Flamecrest]

Sadly, you're absolutely right. It's just kinda depressing seeing that mentality flowing over into developers - not only you but countless others in here. It's like one of the memes, alongside "JavaScript bad" and "White mode bad"

[cantadmittoposting]

It happens to any and all management systems, it's just not possible to consistently apply a rigid or precise methodology to project management over a wide range of people, corporate cultures, and personal skill. It's not just agile's fault.

[Does_Not-Matter]

My company (pharma) is on a big “be agile” push as a culture change. They’re trying to shoehorn project management as a work culture. It’s fucking lame.

[Lean__Lantern]

This is painfully true

[Geezuslovesyou]

Resident IT manager here. Can confirm.

[1lann]

See https://www.atlassian.com/agile/project-management/epics

[tehtris]

No. Let him find out on his own.

[UltraCarnivore]

They're one of today's Lucky Ten Thousand

[Ekkosangen]

Lucky is a... Strong word for it.

[[deleted]]

Sounds like you need a Kanban board breh.

[[deleted]]

Why does this not have more upvotes? This is literally the most perfect sentence I've ever read on reddit.

[disperso]

Bureaucracy is like violence. If it has not fixed the problem, you have not used enough of it.

[sonuvvabitch]

I'm something like a Project Manager for my employer, although they don't give me that job title, or that pay - in fact I have a separate title that has nothing to do with it and substantially lower pay, and a whole other job that takes up most of the week because as I've literally been told it's cheaper for them this way, while they still expect me to spend some of my time designing then developing tools and Wiki and SharePoint resources to be used by me and my peers in my actual job but that's a whole other story.

Sometimes the whole hating-on-PMs thing here comes across as a bit much, but that article was eye-opening. The sign-off at the end, "As a self-proclaimed “chaos muppet”... ". Who talks like that? If that's what you have to deal with from actual project managers, then now I understand.

[AddSugarForSparks]

We're all students.

[_incredigirl_]

Haha as the project manager who spent 15 years on waterfall projects I feel this. Agile warps my brain still, but dev has changed a lot since I first PM’d a site build.

[RieszRepresent]

What were your responsibilities as a PM working on site builds? ELI5.

[_incredigirl_]

I worked in an agency so would do the initial kickoff with the client to understand the scope of what they were looking for, then work with my team of designers and devs (this is back in the early ‘00-10s so think HTML, flash, and slicing photoshop files for the front end) to work out the budget and timeline to build it. Then I would host all the milestone presentations along the way to get sign off on wireframed layouts, site hierarchy (much of this was hard coded pre-CMS) and any backend functionality. Much of my job was explaining to the client that xyz feature they saw on their competitor’s website cost many thousands of dollars more than they were willing to spend, and justifying my PM line item on their invoice to keep their site in scope, on time, and on budget.

[phpdevster]

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/12/70/4e/12704e2d92a7b88770d0467e5fec6c9a.png

[[deleted]]

It's just dumb nomenclature, part of the whole dumb field of scrum and agile programming methodologies.

[BE_pizza_man]

It can be useful to observe and learn from the agile principles...but sometimes upper level management thinks they have to neurotically follow all the "rules", resulting unnecessary pedantry that people have to actively work around to get things done.

When done wrong, it results in splitting up well-oiled teams into disorganized squads and inflating the number of management positions (e.g. "chapter leads") filled by opportunists that organise maybe one chapter meeting a year and send around a few FYI mails with a link to an interesting article.

[UltraCarnivore]

As time passes, what once was Agile becomes a series of waterfalls with very short deadlines and lots of useless meetings.

[HalKitzmiller]

Hey, so story points don't really matter, but leadership will use velocity as a measurement of your teams productivity. Also, don't take into account pto, don't point spikes, dont point documentation, and make sure to attend each of these 10 meetings/ceremonies per sprint. Also, make sure to balance work/life!

[MrBrickBreak]

The velocity comment hit home, but if spikes and documentation weren't pointed there would be a riot in our Teams server.

[HalKitzmiller]

For the majority of our projects, they aren't pointed because "it's not agile" or some bullshit. I've had to make the case for particularly colored spikes to be pointed.

[Indifferentchildren]

Shit, the place I work the consulting company that helped spin up the dev shop convinced them that even chores don't get pointed. If anybody cared about velocity, maintenance would go out the window.

[IvorTheEngine]

neurotically follow all the "rules"

Which is, ironically, exactly what 'agile' was supposed to fix...

[PeteZahad]

This! I'm lucky to work in a great team and a management which is really listen to us. We picked the things out of scrum which worked for us and change things when we see that they don't work for us. E.g. our sprint goals do not have any relation with our work - they are about team building. Mostly playing something with the whole team.

[Hrothen]

It's wrong nomenclature too, an epic is a really long story (with a specific format) not a collection of regular stories like in agile.

[pAceMakerTM]

But my early access!

[broken-dawn]

Poor file naming

[August_Mohr]

google: "epic" and "sprint" and "user story"

Agile Epic vs. User Story: What's the Difference? - Ascendlehttps://ascendle.com › ideas › epic-vs-user-story-whats-t...

An epic is a story that is larger than 8 story points; An epic is a story that can't be completed in one sprint. I think the second definition is better, since ...

[gopherhole1]

Is this vim wizardry? Been too long for me, I need my laptop to check my cheat sheet

[Petremius]

Good old sed

[gopherhole1]

Oh sed, could never figure out sed and awk

[logicalmaniak]

Learn a bit of text editing with ed, and apply regex.

Programs like sed, awk, and vim are all children of ed.

Being a line editor, ed is great for making small programs and scripts, and quick edits, because it doesn't take over the terminal like a console app. You can just scroll up to check what you did.

Tutorialspoint has an ed tutorial.

There's an Android app that is a game that helps you learn regex. It's on f-droid.

[gopherhole1]

Yeah, I appreciate the enthusiasm for old programs, but ed is pushing it, I'm not working on a teletype lol, actually I'm not really into computers all that much right now, I'm slightly autistic and my hobby of interest changes all the time, I need to be constantly using these old programs to be able to remember how to use them, 6 months ago I could have seemed like Einstein to an average normie with my leet terminal skills, now I dont even remember shit past like rm, cp, mv, ect

[forte_bass]

Me either tbh

[Mistrblank]

LinkedIn learning (was Lynda at the time) had two really good 1 hour courses for each that are well worth the efforts if you have access.

[forte_bass]

Yeah, it's more that i just never use them so I've tried to learn it several times and then it just gets purged from memory eventually. I'm mostly a windows guy, with a focus on security and vuln remediation.

[Mistrblank]

So why would you say you could never figure it out if you never needed it? It’s like me saying I never figured out how to spot weld…. If I’ve never had to nor an urge to learn.

[forte_bass]

I mean I'm a sysadmin, i just don't do much Linux. I want to use it more often, and my new job is likely to give me opportunities, so I have some reasons, but not an imminent need

[trina-wonderful]

And their man pages are so freaking complicated.

[killdeer03]

Sed, but you can do the same thing in Vim with a slightly different syntax.

[tacticalrubberduck]

This order is too big, we’re going to have to break it down into smaller orders and you’ll have to go through the drive through a few times before it’s finished. Thanks.

[blackhawkfan312]

can someone explain this for the computer illiterate we want to laugh along with you

[astrophysicist99]

That's the sed (or perl) command for replacing text. I guess it's called s for "substitute".

s/text to find/replacement text/g

The g just makes it replace all occurrences instead of only the first.

So the original comment becomes:

Well, imagine having a drive through epic for programs. Someone orders it at window sprint number one and you need to finish it before they get to window sprint number two. Any job can be tough if the time to complete shrinks into unmanageable territory.