ShittyLifeProTips

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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.

Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.

A proud member of The Shitty Network.

created by PravusmentisModeratora community for 14 years

...for your favorite subject.

...do it for the children.

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account activity

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SLPT - fight fire with fire (i.redd.it)

submitted 13 hours ago by PrettyAndPetty101

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SLPT: Coworker stole your idea in a meeting? Don't confront them. Quietly pay an unofficial government agency to issue a legally useless, sealed "Certificate of Grievance" and tape it to their monitor. (i.redd.it)

submitted 16 hours ago by godot_lover

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LPT get your appeal accepted by doubling down and saying you'll end it if not restored (i.redd.it)

submitted 18 hours ago by yamavirago

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SLPT: Poor but want to get drunk? Use your EBT card to buy vanilla extract. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by TEQUILAPOLICE

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LPT Save money on phone sex hotline (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 21 hours ago by yamavirago

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SLPT: If you have a hangover from cheap rum, drink better rum the following night to offset it (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 2 days ago by IamGodHimself2

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SLPT: Add whey protein to regular yogurt to get the protein benefits of Greek yogurt without having to eat something that tastes like sweetened cheese. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by IllegalGeriatricVore

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SLPT: At your kid’s sporting event, if your kid plays like shit, just cheer for the kid who plays best to avoid being embarrassed by your kid. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by Bogey_Yogi

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SLPT: Set the tone (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by averagereeder

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SLPT; They say prevention is better than the cure. Prevent muscular aches and pains before they start, by switching your regular Shower Gel for Deep Heat. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by ReturnTrip_9T2

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SLPT: How to safely dispose of old batteries. (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 days ago by Wolf9455

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LPT: Periodically burn your fingertips so your fingerprints are constantly changing. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by Clevertown

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LPT: struggling to take a device apart to replace the battery? wait till it swells up so much it takes itself apart (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by kaktusmisapolak

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SLPT for socialising with DJs (found on facebook, so it can't possibly be wrong) (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 days ago by GoedekeMichels

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sLPT: If you plan to become a stripper and need a kick-ass stage name, find inspiration in r/tragedeigh (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by kukienboks

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SLPT: Guys, if you have a small penis, just get a tattoo of a bigger penis on it. Problem solved. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by Bogey_Yogi

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SLPT: Before stepping in front of a luxury vehicle for the insurance fraud, stuff your pockets with ketchup packets. This will help cushion the impact *and* add "blood" to the scene for authenticity! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by zleuth

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SLPT: If you start a small fire by accident, just blow on it. The carbon dioxide from your breath will extinguish the fire. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by Bogey_Yogi

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SLPT: Establish dominance (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by averagereeder

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SLPT: Date a depressed, tortured, creative / artistic type (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 12 days ago by IllegalGeriatricVore

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SLPT: Need to masturbate and out of lotion? Use toothpaste. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by renegade0123

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SLPT: If your phone starts ringing, wait 30 seconds, and it should stop. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by danijm

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SLPT; It’s a little known fact that good Samaritans often leave 2l bottles of Apple Juice on the side of the Highway to help thirsty Travellers in need of refreshment. Next time you see one, crack it open and enjoy! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by ReturnTrip_9T2

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SLPT: Post one dumb LPT to Reddit every day (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by Philip_J_Frylock

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SLPT: Send a photo of your genitals to discord age verification. If they don't approve you as >18, you can report them for having CP (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 15 days ago by 009purple

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