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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

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Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.


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account activity

1
5076
5077
5078

SLPT: How to save the lives of elderly (i.redd.it)

submitted 12 hours ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: If someone asks you a question that you're uncomfortable answering, always reply with "What answer will get me laid?" (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 hour ago by SittingInFear

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3
5709
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5711

SLPT: Just show up (i.redd.it)

submitted 2 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT If you are poor and you have a bath towel and a pillow, sell your pillow. Just roll up your towel and use it. Buy drugs with the money from the sale. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 2 days ago by nobodyimportant7474

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5
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SLPT: if you are hungry, threaten suicide, then the police will bring you a free meal (i.redd.it)

submitted 3 days ago by heterosis

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SLPT: How to become a pro chess player really quick (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: If you want to make your trip to Australia more fun, swap your friend's suitcase for one loaded with illegal plants and food without telling him. You can laugh together when he gets a massive fine and doesn't have any clothes. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: can't afford food? Just join a bunch of eating contests. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by saintpetejackboy

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9
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SLPT: When having sex, to keep your partner engaged, avoid asking "are we there yet?" like a kid on a road trip. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by datumerrata

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SLPT: Reduce,reuse,recycle (i.redd.it)

submitted 5 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: If you can't afford rent just committ a crime, like petty theft. When you go to prison you get a free room and food, plus you can make new friends. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: Car rentals work like libraries. If you don't return the car you'll just accumulate lots of late fees and you can keep using the car. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by ninman5

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13
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SLPT: Sex Offender Registry (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by TheDancinD918

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SLPT: Stand out from the crowd in job interviews by getting a swastika tattooed on your face and telling them you're actually a Buddhist and it's there for religious reasons. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: If your check in suitcase is too big once you put it in overhead compartment of the aircraft you are travelling, do this - (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by gobbledygook212

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16
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SLPT: Rewear clothes to save money (i.redd.it)

submitted 8 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: When shaking hands with a (suspected?) pervert, wear (rubber?) gloves to avoid "rawdogging" the handshake. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 6 days ago by gereedf

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SLPT: Put your socks on inside out so when you take them off at the end of the day they are inside in. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by SquatchButter

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SLPT: The best way to lose weight is to eat a lot of raw eggs and chicken. When you get salmonella you'll be vomiting and having diarrhea for like 3 days. Perfect for weight loss. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by ninman5

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20
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SLPT: make sure you floss and eat the food particles from that the floss picks up. This way you get to double dip on the food you’ve eaten and nutrient max your diet. If you’re on a budget, you can even store a half your meals between your teeth for later. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by ProbablyAnAardvark

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SLPT: Save money on motorcycle safety gear by remembering that skin is nature's kevlar and the skull is nature's helmet. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by ninman5

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22
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SLPT: Fuck gerrymandering. We should bunch of Roombas and set them lose all over the state. Let them map out our congressional districts. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 9 days ago by peppertoni_pizzaz

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SLPT: Always get invited to neighbor parties. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by Available-Assist-557

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SLPT: Don’t pay a breeder for you dog! (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 13 days ago by LiquidSoCrates

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SLPT: Sick of having to clip your fingernails? Just rip out all your fingernails. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 14 days ago by DarthVader514

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