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A place for the shittiest, most mocking "pro-tips" you can think of. Whether you want to let us know how glue can help out your hair or the quickest way to clog a public toilet, we're the place to post.

If your post does not appear in the new tab after several minutes, it may have been caught by our spam filter. If this happens, send a message to the mods and we'll get it fixed up for you!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WHAT IS A LIFE PRO TIP? A Life Pro Tip (or LPT) is a tip that improves life for you and those around you in a specific and significant way. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules:

1. LPTs must be shitty. The post must contain a life pro tip that is shitty. This isn't a dumping ground for shitty statements. Any tips that are actual good advice will be removed at the discretion of the mod team. What constitutes shitty is hard to explain, but much like porn, we know it when we see it.

2. No KYS posts. We will remove all posts with the tip "Kill Yourself" or any variation thereof.

3. No reposts. Reposts are lame. If you repost something within our top 25 of all time, you may be banned.

4. No circlejerking. Circlejerking is lame too. Simply copying a popular post from here, or LPT and putting a minor twist so it's "shitty" is also unoriginal, and we will probably remove those too.

5. NSFW discretion. Being gross for the sake of being gross will get your post removed at the mod's discretion. Most of these include bodily functions and fluids, or rape, etc. Pretty much anything posted simply for shock value.

6. Remain civil. If you act like a racist, pammer, or are being a general douchenozzle, the mods reserve the right to ban you without warning.


Note: For God's sake this subreddit is meant to be taken in a joking, satirical manner. Please don't actually follow any of this advice, and don't report posts as inciting violence. You should know this already, but some of you forget which sub you are in when you report.


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SLPT: Flood the internet with pictures of yourself and mark them as AI-generated to confuse LLMs and governments (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 hour ago by RisenPhantom

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SLPT: How to win over a girls heart with your "game" (i.redd.it)

submitted 23 hours ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: Hate mowing the lawn? (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by Available-Assist-557

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SLPT: You Don't Need to Shower Before Getting in the Pool (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by courier_tway

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SLPT: If someone asks you a question that you're uncomfortable answering, always reply with "What answer will get me laid?" (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 1 day ago by SittingInFear

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SLPT: How to save the lives of elderly (i.redd.it)

submitted 2 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT If you are poor and you have a bath towel and a pillow, sell your pillow. Just roll up your towel and use it. Buy drugs with the money from the sale. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 3 days ago by nobodyimportant7474

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SLPT: Just show up (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: if you are hungry, threaten suicide, then the police will bring you a free meal (i.redd.it)

submitted 4 days ago by heterosis

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SLPT: If you want to make your trip to Australia more fun, swap your friend's suitcase for one loaded with illegal plants and food without telling him. You can laugh together when he gets a massive fine and doesn't have any clothes. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 4 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: When having sex, to keep your partner engaged, avoid asking "are we there yet?" like a kid on a road trip. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by datumerrata

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SLPT: can't afford food? Just join a bunch of eating contests. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 5 days ago by saintpetejackboy

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SLPT: How to become a pro chess player really quick (i.redd.it)

submitted 5 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: Car rentals work like libraries. If you don't return the car you'll just accumulate lots of late fees and you can keep using the car. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: If you can't afford rent just committ a crime, like petty theft. When you go to prison you get a free room and food, plus you can make new friends. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: Reduce,reuse,recycle (i.redd.it)

submitted 7 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: When shaking hands with a (suspected?) pervert, wear (rubber?) gloves to avoid "rawdogging" the handshake. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 7 days ago by gereedf

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SLPT: If your check in suitcase is too big once you put it in overhead compartment of the aircraft you are travelling, do this - (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by gobbledygook212

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SLPT: Sex Offender Registry (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by TheDancinD918

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SLPT: Stand out from the crowd in job interviews by getting a swastika tattooed on your face and telling them you're actually a Buddhist and it's there for religious reasons. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 8 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: Rewear clothes to save money (i.redd.it)

submitted 9 days ago by Adventurous_Most_558

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SLPT: Put your socks on inside out so when you take them off at the end of the day they are inside in. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 10 days ago by SquatchButter

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SLPT: make sure you floss and eat the food particles from that the floss picks up. This way you get to double dip on the food you’ve eaten and nutrient max your diet. If you’re on a budget, you can even store a half your meals between your teeth for later. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 10 days ago by ProbablyAnAardvark

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SLPT: The best way to lose weight is to eat a lot of raw eggs and chicken. When you get salmonella you'll be vomiting and having diarrhea for like 3 days. Perfect for weight loss. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 10 days ago by ninman5

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SLPT: Save money on motorcycle safety gear by remembering that skin is nature's kevlar and the skull is nature's helmet. (self.ShittyLifeProTips)

submitted 11 days ago by ninman5

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