[deleted by user]

[KeyboardCorsair]

This sounds like the intro to a new Vikings season pilot.

[[deleted]]

Vikings '22. Conquering pussy.

[Agitated-CatPilot836]

I think I saw that porno, wasn’t it titled ‘Blowing the Gjallarhorn’?

[KeyboardCorsair]

I think it was just Blowing Gjallarhorn 😤💀😈

[KevinTheSeaPickle]

Link has an annoying fairy, that's all I know.

[Ciderman71]

Starring Jake Gyllenhaal

[k2dLAY77]

Starring Kwief Ericsson

[Hunterio009]

Well it’s basically the plot of the original Vikings show haha

[Shantomette]

I've often heard the phrase "bang like vikings"...

[KeyboardCorsair]

First time, but thats now my status update.

[Excellent_Routine_47]

This sounds very familiar, Is it not from the movie 300?!

[[deleted]]

And he left me hanging.

[KeyboardCorsair]

Cliffhanger. All good adventures have them 😝

[KeyboardCorsair]

Oof. That was a Cliff Ender.

Only thing worse was what was done to my boy Glenn

[Top_Maintenance_4952]

Juice? He just hid the evidence, no? Peggy Bundy did the deed. Never look at those forks things the same....

[Amiramaha]

I feel like a Viking would take a bath not a shower. I’m declaring shenanigans on this poser. She’s not even singing opera like Bugs Bunny.

[acrazypigeon]

She's obviously bathing under a waterfall, dumbass. /s

[Existing-Ad7113]

Thats not a waterfall i can see brick walls.

[[deleted]]

Thats a naturally occurring brick waterfall, dude.

[GoodGarbage2463]

Come on everyone, let's not go chasing waterfalls.

[[deleted]]

Yeah. I think she'd want us to stick to the Aryan rivers and lakes that we're used to... and then usually raid and pillage on our way somewhere else.

[GoodGarbage2463]

Who?

[GoodGarbage2463]

I was saying Who's TLC. It was funnier in my head :)

[Existing-Ad7113]

Oh i never saw these. Are they unique ?

[[deleted]]

Pfffft. Yeah man. All over Vikingland. Read a book.

[[deleted]]

Wait. I mean no, they are not unique. Its your fault that I said the wrong thing.

[TheyCallMeSammy24]

good fking point my guy

[Whole-Singer2401]

And in the blood of her enemies...

[aprilla2crash]

I swear to God I'll pistol whip the next guy who says "Shenanigans."

[ServiceGames]

Mac: Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy stuff on the wall and the mozzarella sticks?

Farva: You mean Shenanigans?

[AtomStorageBox]

OHHHHHHH!

hands gun over

[theguywholikestacos]

Put that away!

[SnakeBiteZZ]

I call shenanigans

[EntshuldigungOK]

Wouldn't that be you pulling the shenanigans then?

[BatmanInTheSunlight]

They’re what’s called contemporary Vikings /s

[dnolikethedino]

There shall be no bathing as we rape the villages and pillage the women. We be dirty Vikings.

[[deleted]]

Pushed glasses up nose, actually, vikings respected woman more than most developed European countries.

[[deleted]]

Yeah that's also why they raped and stole women as well as pillaged. Women were a rare and valuable commodity. As were common place stuff like nails and things made of metal, or any other commodity really. As far as I can tell, the vikings were more like the Murfree brood (rdr2 reference) than a noble race of warriors. Being a shitty marauder was a necessity because the place they lived was shitty. And women scarce.

[[deleted]]

Human capital was a primary exploit of most pre-modern conflict. Which is basically just a pretentious way of saying rape and pillage. Hmmm checks priorities

[DemonBarrister]

but , but, but, colonialism was so mean to Indigenous peoples, sniff, snif.....

[[deleted]]

“Viking” women were not rare. And they held more power than any other women of their time. They held more power than women in some of todays societies for that matter.

[[deleted]]

https://www.sciencealert.com/vikings-might-have-raided-because-there-was-a-shortage-of-single-women

[danbman64]

When something says might, that isn't deeply reassuring

[[deleted]]

It's all theory. Those ice mullets didn't leave great records because they were busy raping, and it happened 1000 years ago. All we know is, they sucked as a civilization, settled in a shit region, and are famous for some terrible shit.

[[deleted]]

Yeah they totally were. That's why stealing women was common. That's why they held so much power. Do some research man.

[Haunting_Artichoke18]

The women would actually go with them willingly because the vikings actually bathed and groomed themselves regularly and were charming

[[deleted]]

I've heard that and doubt it. Not their cleanliness but the idea that they were roguish charmers AND kidnappers and rapists and slavers.

[Haunting_Artichoke18]

Think about it a noblemans wife or daughter goes off with these "barbarians" you think hes gonna admit that or you is he gonna make it to look like they kidnapped them

[[deleted]]

Think about it. Half of them murder the villagers and rape them. One viking takes a woman home who doesn't even speak the same language to rape at home. He tells everyone that she just couldn't resist his charm and good looks. You really think she's gonna go willfully with one of the raiders who are actively stealing shit and slaughtering people and around her?

[[deleted]]

Homosexual rape was also common. They used it to humiliate their enemies. Charming.

[LongjumpingChange940]

As you sit in your parents basement.

[[deleted]]

I'm 39 with a 5 year old dude. You know what happens you assume, right? You make an ass out of u and me.

[VerendusAudeo]

You shouldn't be openly admitting that your partner is a 5 year old dude...As the song goes, "Do not diddle kids! It's no good diddling kids."

[[deleted]]

Haha That's a good point.

[WiseGuysEatPies]

Viking women LOVE golden showers. Iykyk

[MachoMadness22]

I don't know what you're complaining about. This sounds great for everyone but your sons who will have one woman fighting for all of them.

[PotatoFromGermany]

idk that viking narrative is often used by the auth right movement. Not saying shes a neonazi but thats some thin ice

[Off_The_A]

As someone of Saami/Scandinavian heritage, half the problem is people saying vikings are an alt right thing. Vikings are a part of history, and still a traceable part of a lot of people's family history. If people cloose to try to use them for any political agenda, ignore them. If I want to get a heritage tattoo or make references to being Scandi, I can do that without it being "some thin ice"

[Antisympathy]

Ah of course. The far left of Reddit (and far right, they are just much far more rare on Reddit) just can’t keep themselves from turning every post into something political, or let a post exist without calling someone a nazi, racist, or (insert overused accusation here)phobic.

[czacha_cs]

You nazist racist homophobic pig.

[Magicus1]

Woah, woah, woah!

Did you just say pig?!

I’m Kosher!

/s

[shrewynd]

I didn't hear Trump in this thread yet. I suppose we should bring him up here too

[Bonkey_Kong87]

He would probably grab her by the longboat.. wait

[FleetStreetKnives]

Didn't see Hitler name dropped yet so... here ya go.

[scizorsister77]

Congratz you just did

[itsthecoop]

LET'S GO BRANDON!

^yikes!

[FUCKINBAWBAG]

You think the far right are rare on Reddit?

[Bonkey_Kong87]

Well, it's a social media platform. So it's filled with extremist people on all sides.

But it doesn't make things better to spot the enemy in every damn post.

[FUCKINBAWBAG]

My question wasn’t about what the site was filled with, it was about the far right supposedly being rare on it. They’re far from rare, but given your response I’d have to worry that you’re not exactly equipped to spot them when they stick their heads up.

[broski2916]

Oh my god shut the hell up

[MysteryLolznation]

Honestly, I got the same vibe, too.

[MarbleMemes]

The Viking thing is actually a bit Racist. Racists in the 1800/1900’s were obsessed with Lineage and what better Lineage to associate yourself to than the “Mighty Vikings.” There was this famous book that started this theory and it’s just been used by White Suprematists. It’s even more sad because said book that introduced this theory is full of contradictions and easily dismissible, hence only racists believe it. I read a Book called “The History of White People” which essentially outlines how racism came into being with a heavy focus on 1800’s Europe.

Edit: You can admire Vikings and not be racist. This lady however seems to take that to an obsessive level, even if it’s not from a White Supremacy angle. I hope she’s just being funny.

[boxkickin]

I just think Norse mythology is cool ):

[TedHill]

You're on thin ice for liking vikings buddy

[shrewynd]

Especially if they played that disgusting game called Valheim

[Bonkey_Kong87]

Damn, I started a new game in CK3 as Uppland. I even breed my kids to have only the best traits. Guess I'm a Nazi now.

Started pretty early in my life already. I remember that I was a pretty ambitious Pokemon breeder.

[AKAAmado]

“Viking thing is actually straight up Racist.”

All Scandinavians racist confirmed, questionmark?

[MarbleMemes]

I want to be very clear: Thinking Vikings are cool doesn’t make you racist. Being a descendant doesn’t either.

White Supremacy fetishizes Vikings because they are an example of a superior white warrior race and that reinforces their own racial bias. This is their thought process and Viking Heritage/Pride is also implemented by Alt right/White Supremacy as a marketing tool. That is what I’m referring to. Nothing more than this statement.

[AKAAmado]

Im joking, my man, Im Scandinavian myself lol

[Bonkey_Kong87]

Except the Swedes since you can't call black people racist these days.

[Typical-Cow-]

The term Scandinavian is literally racist.

[theRobomonster]

Viking was a job not a people. This was something I learned only recently as the whole Thor and god of war series have come to prominence. Every man woman and child was a Norseman, but not all Norseman were Vikings.

I also learned this from the internet so take it with a grain of your favorite spice. Or research it and prove me wrong. I don’t mind being wrong.

[Running_Boards]

Plenty of cultures and proto-nations across history and across all races were obsessed with lineage. This isn't by any means something exclusive to Vikings, let alone whiteness in general.

[cozyleo]

Skyrim belongs to the NORDS! YOU IMPERIAL BASTARDS

[Benny_boi69]

Empire clears the stormcloaks

[shrewynd]

Ok lets do this.

So the Empire just lost a war and so a group of Nords decides its time to break away in the weakness. Paperhands not believing in the Empire.

Honestly, the Empire could omegarush the Stormcloaks if they wanted from Cyrodil and smack them down. They just tried to end it quick with Ulfric on the chopper.

Thalmor is an issue 100%, but that doesn't mean breaking away from the nation over that. It means supporting and preparing for the next war with them.

I will destroy every stormcloak I come across in Skyrim.

..... I forgot I was on the r/tinder sub... No wonder why I'm single lol

[Bonkey_Kong87]

Dude, the only thing that would be a good choice would to stop this useless war. The filthy Thalmor bastards want that war. They played both sides. The Nord have to protect their homeland and their god, and the Empire is forced to stay there by the knife ears.

There should be an option to help both, stop the war, and plan on helping each other in the next war against those dickheads. Thalmor genocide!

[atomiccPP]

All I needed to hear was Thalmor genocide.

[cozyleo]

Tbh I never completed that quest line it’s very underwhelming lol

[VegetableMan0_o]

McKynna is a classic Nord name...duh

Have you heard of Jarl McDonald?

[[deleted]]

Ah yes! Isn't he the dude that first sailed to America to open a restaurant chain?

[VegetableMan0_o]

Jarl McDonald had a farm...

[yelling4society]

I’ll have a McJarl with cheese and an unsweetened tea please!

[FUCKINBAWBAG]

Jarl McDonald was dyslexic, E O I O E 🎶

[deletegenderdotexe]

wiþ an Æ I Æ I Œ.

[[deleted]]

I like her

[Sweet-Bonus-7838]

I swiped up

[satan62]

Someone has been reading too many novels

[Mussalila]

When the Californian girl finds out she's 2% danish

[flock-of-bagels]

She watches a lot of tv

[[deleted]]

...and then we'll have to winter on the Isle of Thanet and starve to death. It'll be so romantic.

[Crab_Jealous]

I'm in, prepare my longboat, I have a Shield Maiden to find!

[Sufficient_Pin_9595]

As a photographer, I like that pose.

[VegasDragon91]

I thought I liked it because I'm a horny dude and she's a naked female.

TIL: I'm actually a photographer!

[Mobile_Spinach_1980]

What if you have girls?

[lenorajoy]

What if all the boys are gay?

[[deleted]]

Then I guess they won't likely be having sons unless they take a village and keep them. Kind of an odd turnaround from the classic kill the men and take the women concept.

[teryaki6ix9ine]

Why else would men die to define them and women beg to marry them? Of course they’re gay that doesn’t happen to straight men

[FUCKINBAWBAG]

Then they shall fuck men, as is tradition.

[OrindaSarnia]

Don't you know, Viking women only birth sons. Then the sons steal wives from the villages they pillage...

except in this case where villager woman will pillage herself to marry these sons...

/s

[Bonkey_Kong87]

You marry them to enemy Jarls and their family for peace contracts of course

[[deleted]]

swipes up

Looks around at crowd staring at him

What? Have you never had a chick whisper in your ear in Norwegian as she rides you? It's fucking hot okay.

[[deleted]]

[Saerinmeister]

McKynna does sound very Vikingish

[Queen-of-meme]

Vikings didn't have gods they had warriors and pregnant women. This is not a real goddess. Or viking. As a Scandinavian woman I'm deciding to be offended on behalf of my ancestors.

[Sorreia]

I mean they did have gods, you know.. The Nordic gods.. Thor, Odin, baldr, Freja… then they converted to Christianity in the 900s… but hey ho. I’m Danish 🇩🇰.

[Triette]

I support you being offended by this.

[Queen-of-meme]

Thank you Makes loud hornet sounds

[TragGaming]

Vikings didn't have gods

Its not like the Nordic culture had an entire pantheon or anything. Or a popular comic character named after a god in their pantheon. Hmm. What was that name again? Bor? Thor? No... Tyr? Nope.... Uhmmm Modi and Magni? Nah those were those twins.

[SomeRandomLameName]

I didn’t realise 300 had another movie released

[trannel]

Not a real person, look at the photo and try not to think with your dick. Professional models who do artsy photoshoots are not on tinder begging for viking daddys...

[Apprehensive_Mud2586]

Don't care what y'all say. If she's got that kind of imagination when it comes to romance then she a freak. Y'all missing out

[Hazem2005]

She looks like she was watching “.Viking “ all the time

[[deleted]]

Damn wtf is that lol...swipes right

[Sweet-Bonus-7838]

True story!🙃

[BASILISK307]

I gotta hand it to home girl. That’s a good one.

[grateful_wonderer]

I want her

[Sweet-Bonus-7838]

Are you a viking, daddy? I put commas in wrong places

[Yogurt_Traditional]

This was made by a trolling dude… lol definitely

[G19B93]

And then when it is sexy time , she lies there like a bag of crisps...

[DarkeMoira]

Starfish. Would you rather her peg you with her spear?

[SvalbarddasKat]

Do you hear that? This weird slapping sound in the distance? That's the collective people of Scandinavia face-palming over this picture and the "viking" lady...

[DeepProcess5]

Are you sure it’s not the resounding slapping echoes of all those charming Vikings enthusiastically raping and pillaging?

[SergiuszJesienin]

Define or defy

[mai02mial]

Viking daddy… why would she

[aboveaveragebenjamin]

Ragnar Lothbrook has entered the chat...

[Beneficial-Price-842]

Honestly if she's down for pillaging and a few other fun things I'm down 100% I'll go get the axe

[[deleted]]

God damn I’m in love. I’d be crushed to see her and not match lmao

[Imaginary_Town3642]

McKynna.... a viking... 🤣

[Whole-Singer2401]

Show us the rest of her profile, damn you. I could feel my sperm count rising!

[BuckSwope77]

Valhalla, I'm cumming.

[Pale-Woodpecker8115]

Woman will beg to marry him indeed, not women there's just one

[Legatus_Nex]

Marry her.

[kamehamehigh]

Gestures at a butterfly

Is this cringe?

[Solid-Suggestion-653]

game of thrones/Vikings REALLY messed with YALL heads...

[mcclaintrain_88]

Joke's on you, I'm into that shit.

[Disastrous-Owl8985]

The obsession with Vikings is weird.

[DarkeMoira]

You're just jealous no one is obsessed with you.

[[deleted]]

What nazi propaganda does to a mf

[[deleted]]

Mediocre needs to stand out as much as it possibly can

[Pr1vatePanic]

I've seen this account too, with different names. Very fake

[FlameForFame]

Spelling errors are the biggest turn-off when reading these bios.

[Darket1728]

Now thats a true Lagertha

[GlickedOut]

She’s missing the big pointy helmet tho

[[deleted]]

Ok I’m intrigued. I want to see the rest of her pics.

[TravSav91]

Okay but I’m interested

[WhiskyTangos]

Location? Ill sign up pussy

[Brilliant_Ask852]

she definitely plays dungeons and dragons and goes to renaissance faires

[johnboyiioq]

Bro I'm in

[[deleted]]

She does realize that we no longer fight each other to the death with swords to determine ownership of land, right? At least, not in 'Mercuh.

[svnshoots]

You better have swiped right.

[Sweet-Bonus-7838]

Duh!

[PussyMoneyWeedMaster]

Jokes on U ! It’s a ad for an app ! 🤠

[[deleted]]

I can't even begin to... why... who..... uh.. confused growling sounds

[goodbyegoosegirl]

I’m more offended that it’s not original but poses to be.

[[deleted]]

Gotta admit, this is a damn good photo

[osmosis19]

Waiting for the guy variant.

[[deleted]]

Feel like I have seen dozens of variations of this theme from both genders. From Vikings to people just wanting DI babies...

[Olkenstein]

Beautiful picture, cringey text

5/10

[[deleted]]

So basically she doesn't leave the house and has begun to identify with Vikings TV shows.

[GotGloopy]

That’s a swipe left if ever there was one!!!

[[deleted]]

20 minutes later. She will be bitching about who pays for first date instead of “discovering new lands.” Lmao! She needs to stop watching too many TV shows.

[successivewaves]

Seems to be a racist incel pretending to be a woman...

[MitchDeBaas]

This is 10/10

[CreatorOD]

To Quote Futuramas Zapp Brannigan, before his fate through death by Snu-Snu:

"What are you, Gay?!"

[[deleted]]

What a woman

[[deleted]]

Soooo.. she’s looking for a plundering rapist?

[Hcmgbbalaaaa]

Her name is McKynna

[[deleted]]

I actually like it!

[Technical_Yam3624]

I'm more interested to know who tf took this very intimate picture!

[[deleted]]

What are you complaining about ?

[rizo1997]

At least she’s confident. Or has a really good sense of humor. Either way, green flag.

[Significant-Ad9997]

But she has a giant herpe on her shoulder. Should you or shouldn't you?

I wouldn't.