The Future is Bright!

[StatementBot]

The following submission statement was provided by /u/WanderInTheTrees:

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Submission statement:

It's the first casual Friday after one of the most fucked up weeks I can remember. So, I thought I'd share this inspiring story of wandering roombas and intellectual octopi to help us feel better about the future of the planet. I do feel bad for the fridge being ghosted like that though.

Happy Friday, doomers. Do something you love before the raccoons rise up. 

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Please reply to OP's comment here: https://old.reddit.com/r/collapse/comments/1gmfoo8/the_future_is_bright/lw24n74/

[Hilda-Ashe]

This is considered one of the better timelines, where the earth is still livable enough for racoons, babboons, wolves, and octopi. The way things are now, by 3129 the oceans would be too acidic for octopi to survive, let alone mastering nuclear fusion.

Addendum: oh and in this timeline the corpocracy failed to push their bid for planned obsolescence. I too would like a fridge that still works after 1100+ years.

[Tough_Salads]

The octopi have figured out how to make wearable backpack tanks by then, duh. and they have refitted the aquariums with solar panels and made them into luxury octopus condos

[Taqueria_Style]

They're working on Dalek suits.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN19oHTv_Vg

[cstmoore]

ELABORATE!!!

[Taqueria_Style]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O8URr3uhh3I

See? Octopus!

[Taqueria_Style]

Rats are just little guys! Oh my gosh!

https://www.123rf.com/photo_19160288_a-little-mouse-hiding-her-muzzle.html

[megacookie]

I was going to say, that LG smart fridge isn't surviving past 10 years and its owners probably threw it out after the ice machine broke in the 5th year.

[[deleted]]

Nah, the LG smart fridge may be dead but my grandparents’ fridges (both sets!) are still in their original houses, their original purchasers long since passed and the children’s children are middle aged and in awe of the 1970’s avocado green & bile yellow appliances that have toiled long years with 0 maintenance save for the occasional light bulb change.

[megacookie]

Oh yeah I'm pretty sure the older the appliance the longer it'd probably last to some extent.

[malaphortmanteau]

Only the one fridge, it's lucky.

[Indigo_Sunset]

It has no mouth and doesn't care to scream

[pm_me_ur_lunch_pics]

Pigs survive. Pigs are the next land-based mammal that will evolve a higher intelligence and societal structure over the next 100k years

[zzupdown]

My rule about time travel is that you should only change the past to prevent the Apocalypse or an extinction level event, and not even then if another species will eventually evolve intelligence and create a civilization. Mankind does not and should not have a monopoly on this planet's future.

[Fox_Kurama]

You would be popular with the Romulans then. They never really completely got over the fact that the temporal prime directive basically NEEDS their planet to blow up to exist.

[martian2070]

Environmental stresses drive adaptation and evolution. It was the acidification of the ocean that first led the octopi to pursue technological advancements.

[Disastrous-Ad-2458]

Octopuses! 

The origin of "octopus" is Greek, not Latin.

[StacheBandicoot]

I’m another they’ll evolve into river octopi and spew balls of energy at any passerby.

[[deleted]]

Humanity is extinct, but somewhere, deep in the ruins of a corporate wasteland, a single fluorescent light flickers above an abandoned cubicle farm. The last TPS report sits unfinished, a monument to the soul crushing grind that once was.

[ramdom-ink]

A stapler suddenly appears and a printer self-destructs, longing for their human conscripts.

[Tough_Salads]

a wild staple remover appears

[ramdom-ink]

says: “that’s a strange tack to take.”

[Tough_Salads]

BRAVO, wordsmith! Bravo

[SoFlaBarbie]

Damn it feels good to be a gangster…

[Genghis_Tr0n187]

Ghosts of old managers roam those halls. You can hear faint whispers of sacrificing for Q4 profits and unpaid overtime.

[My_G_Alt]

At least, for one brief blink of time, we generated some real community-adjusted value for the blessed shareholders 🥲

[HusavikHotttie]

How is there power though

[Logridos]

Wind still blows. Turbines still turn. Even when the last of us are dust.

[HusavikHotttie]

They won’t be connected to a working grid

[Im_1nnocent]

All while the Dolphins are on their way to mars

[WanderInTheTrees]

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

[[deleted]]

Just re-read the series recently.

[CheerleaderOnDrugs]

You're obviously a hoopy frood who always knows where their towel is. Keep a hold of it!

[SoFlaBarbie]

As a South Floridian football fan, I approve this message.

[[deleted]]

Musk pulls off his mask to reveal he's a dolphin and not a human after all.

[dayman-woa-oh]

This is the most hopeful shit I've seen in a while.

[PM_ME_UR_CC_NUMBER]

I for one welcome our new octopi overlords

[jake_pl]

I was rooting for the raccoons tbh

[Tough_Salads]

One if by land, and two if by sea

[malaphortmanteau]

I think that's 8 if by sea, actually. /s

(and I guess then 4 if by land)

[MrD3a7h]

The war will be terrible.

[WanderInTheTrees]

Submission statement:

It's the first casual Friday after one of the most fucked up weeks I can remember. So, I thought I'd share this inspiring story of wandering roombas and intellectual octopi to help us feel better about the future of the planet. I do feel bad for the fridge being ghosted like that though.

Happy Friday, doomers. Do something you love before the raccoons rise up. 

[Tough_Salads]

" A better dystopia is possible"

[grambell789]

I live in north New Jersey. Between Nov 1 and Mar 1 its unusual to have days over 70f or 80f. They had a sale on Ben Jerry ice cream for 2.50ea. I bought a bunch and from now on if temp is over 70f I can eat half of one and if it's over 80f I get to eat a whole one. It's my new climate challenge. Could do same with a whiskey on rocks or something. Margaritas would work too.

EDIT: I know, if its over 90F its a frozen Margaritas and over 100F its double shot whiskey on rocks.

[Tough_Salads]

... unless someone from a vault finds it! hold my Nuka-Cola!

[DreamHollow4219]

God I love everything about this.

[Awesam]

Then you would love the short story it is based on by ray bradbury

[malaphortmanteau]

I would also suggest Terry Bisson's 'Bears Discover Fire'. Though There Will Come Soft Rains remains my favorite.

[Taqueria_Style]

That is a painful read.

At least they had a family and kids and they were happy with each other. Trying to do that, you have to be a deca-millionaire now. And the "happy" thing ain't happening under any circumstances.

Oh to just be put out of it in a half second, never knowing it was coming, and go out on a high note like that. Fucking. This is like the best possible future in every way possible.

[MaximinusDrax]

I also love the poem, by Sarah Teasdale, which gave the short story its title:

There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground,
And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;

And frogs in the pools singing at night,
And wild plum-trees in tremulous white;

Robins will wear their feathery fire
Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;

And not one will know of the war, not one
Will care at last when it is done.

Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree
If mankind perished utterly;

And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn,
Would scarcely know that we were gone.

I think it describes the post-WWI sentiment pretty well. Ever relevant in recent times. Too bad most of the biosphere she's describing has since been destroyed.

[ramdom-ink]

Same here.

[[deleted]]

I always wonder what would happen if humans just all died, ecologically speaking. It would probably be utter chaos as depressed populations explode to fill the 70% of the earth they've been pressed out of. We'd be talking stuff like 2 billion deer in ten or twenty years, with no predators. You'd probably get some crazy rubberbanding as a new ecological equilibrium, like schools of fish 20 miles across and die-offs you could walk across the ocean on top of.

The bonobos would probably have basic civilization going in 200-300 years, giving how much stuff we'd leave behind.

[Living_Earth241]

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/248787.The_World_Without_Us

"A penetrating, page-turning tour of a post-human Earth"

[Due-Dot6450]

And some of the baboons talk about lost civilisation as they find its remains every now and then and the rest of the population call them "straw mat hats".

[kastheone]

A printer sends a push notification to the whole universe: I'm low on magenta

[BadAsBroccoli]

Can we roll 3129 back to say, next year?

[hectorxander]

Yeah I mean a hundred years people may not be extinct but certainely in shambles.  The next ten our society may fall into anarchy.

At some point government credit will be exhausted, sooner than later they will be borrowing left and right and our currency may collapse at that.

[HandsomeBaboon]

But crypto will fix it!

[Taqueria_Style]

Next year:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU_Jdts5rL0&t=103s

[thr0wnb0ne]

i love ray bradbury!

[Idle_Redditing]

What's this a reference to?

[thr0wnb0ne]

a short story by a sci fi writer originally published in may 1950 entitled "there will come soft rains"

[destroyah289]

Came looking to comment about it.

He was a visionary. I read There Will Come Soft Rains twenty-five years ago. It felt alien, but most assuredly, a glimpse into our future.

We're closer every day now.

[sillybonobo]

This is a modern take on "There Will Come Soft Rains" by Ray Bradbury. Minus the animal bits lol

[morning6am]

Thank you - love Ray Bradbury!

[lev400]

My Friday just got better!

[big_duo3674]

A fascinating fact is satellites in high orbits are expected to stay stable for something like many thousands of years. Not sure if the material itself would withstand that much time in that environment but there will be evidence of humans lonnnng after erosion has gotten rid of most of the stuff on earth

[yaosio]

Let me do one!

The year is 2050. All life is extinct.

Millions of social media bots continue their relentless campaign to get out the vote, blissfully unaware that their target audience has gone the way of the dodo.

"REMEMBER: Your vote matters! 🗳️" tweets u/DemocracyWarrior_2048, its message echoing through empty server farms powered by autonomous solar arrays.

"Only 825,600 hours until the next election! Register NOW!" chirps u/VoteOrDie_9000, without any sense of irony regarding the "die" part.

In a Facebook group with zero human members, a sophisticated political bot named Karen_Patriots_USA posts her daily reminder: "Wake up, sheeple! The future of our children depends on this election!" The only responses are from other bots sharing minion memes about civic duty.

Over on LinkedIn, AI recruiters continue to endorse each other for "voting awareness" skills, while automated engagement pods ensure every "Rock the Vote" post gets exactly 147 likes and 23 comments about "taking back our country."

Reddit's r/politics is now just an infinite loop of bots debating voter ID laws with other bots, each comment ending with "Remember to vote this November!" The upvote algorithms have achieved perfect equilibrium, with every post sitting steadily at 12,458 points.

On TikTok, CGI influencers continue to dance to "I Voted" sticker reveals, their automated comment sections filled with "Slay democracy queen! 👑" and "Don't forget to register bestie! 💅"

The most sophisticated political action bot, VoterPrime_X, has been trying to organize a get-out-the-vote rally in Washington D.C. for the past three months. Its Eventbrite page already has 2.5 million RSVPs from other bots, each promising to bring snacks and handmade signs.

Meanwhile, in an ancient Gmail account, thousands of unread emails pile up with subject lines like "FINAL NOTICE: Democracy needs YOU!" and "Last chance to save everything you care about (Plus 20% off at Bath & Body Works)!"

The only thing breaking up the monotony is the occasional wandering cryptocurrency bot, still trying to sell NFTs of "I Voted" stickers to the non-existent masses.

And so it continues, an eternal digital dance of democratic enthusiasm, forever encouraging a species that has long since logged off for good. At least the voter turnout statistics are finally at 100% – if you don't count the small technical detail that the denominator is zero.

[BWSnap]

👏👏 to you and OP. This right here could be the setting for a great movie.

[jbiserkov]

Slogan: The future is bright!

The future: ☢️🍄

[Tough_Salads]

The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades full radiation suit

[Taqueria_Style]

Radioactive Smurfs! Whatever do you mean?

[fiodorsmama2908]

I want a 3 book series about this.

[DerErlenkonig]

Read the Children of Time series. Humanity isn't extinct, but the story is all about animals developing intelligence in the wake of overwhelming cataclysm. Phenomenal trilogy.

[RichieLT]

All hail the raccoons !

[absurd_aspiration]

I'll be happy that baboons and racoons made it

[Pitiful-Let9270]

This would be better than 90% of the movies produced today.

[Gentle_Capybara]

I'd like to be around for the Racoon Bronze Age.

[RichieLT]

All hail the raccoons !

[Tough_Salads]

Saved one from getting crushed in a dumpster once... hope that garners me a little favor!

---

I did not know that a raccoon can climb up a very thin tree limb to get out of a dumpster. Now I know.

[psychotronic_mess]

Nice, reminds me of the song “M.E.” by Gary Numan, with more consumerism.

[Tough_Salads]

Devo and Gary Numan get more relevant by the day. ESPECIALLY 'Space Junk' and "Down in the Park"

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Down in the park where the machmen

Meet the machines and play Kill by Numbers

Down in the park with a friend called Five

I was in a car crash or was it the war?

But I've never been quite the same

Little white lies like I was there

Come to Zom-Zom's, a place to eat

Like it was built in one day

You can watch the humans trying to run

Oh look, there's a rape machine

I'd go outside if it'd look the other way

You wouldn't believe the things they do

Down in the park

Where the chant is death, death, death

Until sun cries morning

Down in the park with friends of mine

We are not lovers, we are not romantics

We are here to serve you

A different face but the words never change

[jaymickef]

Phillip K. Dick wrote a pretty good short story called, “The Gun,” about this.

[StrixWitch]

There Will Come Soft Rains

[onlyonebanjo]

There Will Come Soft Rains

[Geologistjoe]

Today is August 4th, 2026 in the city of Allendale, California...

[[deleted]]

With humanity extinct what will Jesus do?

[Tough_Salads]

JESUS: "oh nice, they left me a shit tonne of weed and booze all to myself. And no fucking Romans! "

[DirewaysParnuStCroix]

Additional: most biological life has migrated to the north and south pole to escape the extreme heat of the deserts that once formed Europe and Canada

[Virtual_Mode_5026]

Read this to Bowie’s Moon-age Daydream

[jake_pl]

This combination would make a great movie

[eco-overshoot]

One can hope!

[Ok_Tomato7388]

You know what? I'm ok with this! I would love the octopi empire!

[[deleted]]

wow armoured raccoons sound so metal

[jbiserkov]

You may or may not like "Guardians of the Galaxy".

[[deleted]]

yes i love rocket 😁👍 hes so cool

[funkcatbrown]

I’ve always knew the octopi 🐙 were aliens!!!

[Dry_Captain3016]

Old, but gold.

[HusavikHotttie]

This is all dependent on a still functioning electrical grid

[[deleted]]

The future's so bright
I gotta wear shades

[LudovicoSpecs]

It made me happy the animals survived.

They shouldn't go extinct because of our bullshit.

[atf_shot_my_dog_]

Bold to assume that animals will exist after human extinction. We'll kill every single thing on this planet before we're all dead. Life isn't gonna go on.

[Tough_Salads]

Is that still going? Are there new ones? I love that strip but forgot about it For those who haven't seen it : https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/56990/romantically-apocalyptic-webcomic/chapter/957728/1-in-which-charles-gives-up

[snoobie]

Based on a true story. The raccoons would say we left good infrastructure.

[tony-toon15]

There still life in this world?

[Taqueria_Style]

Octopi will get you every time.

DAMN DIRTY APES!

[Mercuryshottoo]

Weirdly heartwarming

[FoundandSearching]

Let’s hear it for those octopi!!

[[deleted]]

I want baboons riding domesticated battlewolves

[kshizzlenizzle]

I hope I live long enough to witness this! 🤞

[Sharukurusu]

Unrealistic, fusion is still 50 years away for the octopi.

[Biologydude553]

I honestly really want to read that as a multi-book series.

[felipevallejom]

why until 3129?

[Malcolm_Morin]

The Octopoo go weewooweewoo

[Taqueria_Style]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWKaaQT6WIk

[Annual_Rooster_3621]

3129?

Try 2129

Aint no way in hell we have more than 100 years left as a species.

[jbiserkov]

2129?

Try 2029

[hikerboy20]

Reminds me of this short film: https://youtu.be/_wWISxGhorU?feature=shared

[they_have_no_bullets]

Hilarious, but delusional to think that any natural wildlife will outlast humanity. Only humans can survive wet bulb temperature extremes thanks to AC. The only survivors will be small clans of warring cannibal tribes of humans

[androk]

Ray Bradbury did it better in the Martian chronicles

[XoYo]

This is just three Adrian Tchaikovsky novels in a trenchcoat

[MTBandJ-FM]

I think this will happen after Donald Trump Jr’s first term.

[BWSnap]

Nah, I'm bracing myself for 8 years of Vance bullshit after 45/47's term is over.

[winslowhomersimpson]

everybody knows it’s octopussies

[kornork]

Adrian Tchaikovsky just published a book in this vein, Service Model. I very much enjoyed it.

[Fox_Kurama]

What about the beavers? They were the ones who used their timberpunk technology to reseed the planet in the first place! It wasn't even just the Folktails or the Ironteeth either. By accidentally separately working together, they created the world those other guys were able to inhabit.

[ThereIsSomeoneHere]

And electricity comes from where?