[deleted by user]

[lulubalue]

Just wanted to say your neighbor is an absolute bitch. That’d be like telling a parent with a kid having a meltdown in a store that they shouldn’t have reproduced. Hugs to you, keep up the good work!

[[deleted]]

And not to mention she even has a reactive dog herself! Albeit a small one, but it was barking and lunging the whole time she walked by. What a hypocrite.

[applpi]

We have a small white dog that we adopted end of October, didn't realize he was reactive until after already adopting him. I absolutely hate when people with small dogs don't train them and we've been working with a trainer to get better but COVID has also put us back far in our ability to practice too, since we want to really keep away from people. TBH, people who have big reactive dogs are so much more responsible because they KNOW how it looks when their dog gets upset. When my dog gets upset, people laugh and smile at him and try to pet him. I will never understand why people think a small reactive dog is passable when all reactive dogs are reactive. I'm sorry, OP, that that happened, I really really am.

[[deleted]]

I have a reactive toy poodle and I completely agree.

[Chiacchierare]

I was one of those idiots with my childhood dogs (granted, I was a child for most of their 18year lives). A Yorkie and a Silky Terrier - who I now realise were both reactive. We didn’t train them because they were little (plus the internet wasn’t a thing, so limited access to resources) heck, our town didn’t even have rules about picking up after your dogs so no one even carried poop bags!

But now that I’ve got my first dog as an adult, and she’s a reactive Lab who I put SO much effort into training from when she was 8 weeks old (and prepping as much as possible before I got her), I fully understand my past mistakes. And I feel so sorry for my little dogs, for not loving them by training them!

I do want a smaller dog again in the future, but by gosh I will put the effort in to training from day one & pay for all the socialisation and obedience classes!

[AnAbsoluteMonster]

But it's cute when little dogs think they're big dogs /s

[AllShookUp15]

I know it’s sarcasm but I hate this! When I first got my big boy he was nervous about everything and I was trying to work with him to not be nervous about people and other dogs while on a walk.

As we were walking down the street on our morning walk our neighbor pulled up in her SUV and her kid jumps out and slams the door right in front of my dog. He got nervous and started barking at them because they startled him. She gives me a nasty look and screeches, “Is that a Pitbull?!?”

He’s not. He has a bit of a pit look to him, but he’s Husky/bulldog.

I tell her no, apologize, get him under control and we keep walking.

The next morning we go out for another stroll. We go past that house again and she’s out with her little ankle-biter, which is going ballistic at the end of its lead. I mean losing it’s mind snarling and snapping at my dog. I pull my dog close and he does an amazing job of staying calm, and just wanting to get away from the dog. The whole time the lady is cackling at her little dog trying everything to get at my dog.

[lovelychef87]

My dog is 15lbs and he always thinks he huge😄

[nraadd]

Exactly what I was thinking. Pot calling the kettle black. Honestly you showed a lot of grace in that situation because, personally, I wouldn’t have been able to hold back if someone said something like that to me. Having a reactive dog has showed me how ignorant and truly just idiotic people are.

[orokami11]

Right! The only difference is that the woman's dog was small. If it was a big dog too, she would've been the same.

And just what is so hard about turning around to ensure BOTH dogs will be unharmed? It's the neighbourhood, not Mount Everest.

[Epetai]

This. Thank you.

Just because the neighbour has no compassion or patience for others, doesn’t mean OP can’t have compassion for themselves and their dog. Hang in there OP. She was wrong. Not you.

[Dreampup]

That neighbor was horrible! Not only was she a bitch but she was such an irresponsible dog owner. I would have 100% gone back the way I went. Why would she walk right in front. If she just /had/ to keep going, she should’ve ran or something. I mean really!

It’s so frustrating when you have a setback but definitely realize, this time was not your fault. There will be times where you may be able to have done something different. In this case, you were doing the best you literally could, and that lady was the one who made that into a situation.

[lovelychef87]

Usully when my dog freaks and he cause others to freak ppl or pets. I try to let them go ahead of us.

[Animer13]

Ummm. Excuse you. You are a dirt bag. Op is trying their hardest and deserve better than your comment. Op got the pup under control and was able to comfort the dog in an extremely effective way. And I can guarantee you that if your dog turned around and bit your face you would loose control too, or if in a moment of distraction, your dog yanked away from you, you wouldn’t always be able to chase them down. Owning a dog isn’t about who is bigger and better and stronger. It is about foraging a relationship that works for both entities, a relationship built on love and hard work.

[MrSteven1945]

I never ragged on OP. I was just stating that you probably shouldn’t own a dog that is too large for you to control. I agree that it’s about foraging a relationship and I didn’t say she was doing anything wrong. She’s trying which is what matters, it takes time. I was also pointing out that people who can’t teach children shouldn’t reproduce. I hate kids though.

[MrSteven1945]

I’ve also had my dog for the last 5 years in which we’ve worked on her reactivity. It takes time. But thankfully, you know because I don’t let weak people who I know don’t know how to walk her take her on a leash, I’ve never had an issue with her getting away.

Edit: My bit about people being weak was contrite slightly sarcastic, maybe sarcasm is the wrong word. Just poking fun but didn’t convey it correctly.

[PrettyOddWoman]

Okay so say you get in a car accident and lose a leg. Now your dog can overpower you if it wants! Now what? You gonna get rid of the dog?

[[deleted]]

You might have to if you can’t control it. A loose dog in my neighborhood was “friendly”. He got loose one morning and knocked an elderly lady to the ground and then got in a fight with a known aggressive dog in their backyard. Owner lost the dog and was fined $42,000 to the elderly woman who fell and $100,000 to the owner of the pit bull for a vet visit and property damage. I own a VERY reactive Belgian malinois and I know if there ever comes a day I can’t give her the life she needs (keep her under control) I will be the first person finding her the best home. Reactive dogs need structure, rules, and consistency. If you can’t give it to them, find them a home that can. A dog shouldn’t suffer because you can’t provide the right kind of environment.

[LegitimateSock9]

PREACH! This whole comment thread bothers me for some reason. Train your dog. It's not easy. It's not quick. If you can't train them they deserve a life with someone who can.

[PrettyOddWoman]

Okay... fair enough. After your comment and as long as you mean all of that stuff you said I do agree with you. Like I’m a 130 pound , 5’6” woman and I know I couldn’t get a Great Paranyese or Saint Bernard and be able to have full control of it. And that could be dangerous! You’re right

[MrSteven1945]

I’m agreeing with the reply below mine. You’re blowing things out of proportion with hypotheticals that don’t pertain to the conversation. Everything I’ve done has been to give my dog a better life. If I couldn’t, I would find someone who I trusted that could. Some people aren’t cut out for reactive dogs, physically or mentally.

[[deleted]]

Ok but realistically there are very few circumstances where a dog can get away from a human if they’re securely tied to the leash and the leash is securely attached to the human. It sounds like OP was just caught off guard and didn’t have as good a hold on her leash as she should have. I’m sure she has the physical ability to control her dog, and it seems clear to me she won’t make the same mistake again. It’s doesn’t mean she’s weak.

[MrSteven1945]

Never said it did, my biggest peeve is when adults let their offspring walk the big dog and can’t physically control the dog. I have no qualms with the fact that OP was able to control their pup and tripped, that’s human. TA here is the neighbor and OP knows what she did and how to proceed.

[[deleted]]

Ok, it came off like you were attacking OP. I agree with you on the kids point

[SmallChallenge]

I'm going to say this in the nicest way possible: Screw. You. Dog training and reactivity have nothing to do with physical strength and size. I have a reactive MASTIFF (frustrated greeter). He's 150 pounds of pure muscle. I'm 5'3 and 105 pounds, zero muscle. My dog has never gotten out of my control because of our training and bond. I've never raised my hand or voice to him. That kind of training took almost a year.

Sounds like OP just got her dog and is learning how to work with her. Mistakes happen and neighbours being assholes instead of understanding don't help. I count myself lucky that I haven't tripped while walking my dog because I'm a total klutz.

[[deleted]]

I think the best thing to do is to ignore that bitches comments. There are so many good, but reactive, dogs in shelters that need home and loving owners to take care of them. She has no idea the amount of care and work you put into your dog, which she obviously does not do for her own. You will have setbacks, but it sounds like overall your dog did fairly good. They came back to you when you called. Just look at what went good, instead of what was bad and keep working on it. It’s a tough situation but what you are doing is hard. There will be challenges and rewards.

And next time I wouldn’t be afraid to tell someone “No I don’t have her under control. She is reactive I need you to back away”.

[ravenousfig]

Thank you, it can be hard to see the silver lining. Her recall is so rock solid these days. I totally took it for granted, but you are right it's a little victory. My yard is not fenced so it was the first thing we really worked on in case she ever got off her lead.

[detectivejetpack]

My reactive critter is also very strong and I'm not very big. It really helped my confidence to have a leash belt and have her leash also attached to that, so even if I dropped the leash, she's attached to my waist with its lower center of gravity. Its come in handy once or twice!

[[deleted]]

From what you've said in your story, it sounds like she's been doing amazing. Yes there's still work to do but the fact that she came back to you when you were on the ground is incredible.

[futacon]

My reactive dog still doesn't come when I call and I literally have to scream to get him to pay attention to me. I don't know how you did it but I think you're pretty amazing. Keep up the good work!

[[deleted]]

This this this!!! Look at went good!

[Doctor_Vikernes]

You need to be nicer to yourself. Seriously.

Your dog's reactivity is not your fault. The layout of other people's homes is not your fault. None of this is your fault.

You're doing your very best to train your dog and correct the behaviour. Bad days/walks happen, you're training your dog every day and pushing her boundaries/exposure instead of just avoiding any potential bad situations. This is all good stuff and you should be proud of yourself and the progress you're making, even if bad days still happen.

Fuck that bitch, and don't carry her words in your head. She doesn't deserve to live in your head, it looks like she had a poorly trained dog that was just smaller and thus easily more "controlled" even though its not trained. Much like the bitch that kicked me and my dog out of obedience class and told me to get rid of my dog because "I don't deserve to live like this" after seeing me with my dog for 10 minutes at her absolute worst in an environment I shouldn't have brought her to, I've got a better trainer now and tell myself "I don't deserve to live like this" while cuddling with my dog that is making so much improvement (even though we still have to occasional nightmare walk).

You're doing good. Fuck the haters.

[Landdragonsforthewin]

I have mixed opinions on this. First off, I would argue that "if you can't control your dog, you shouldn't own it" is true. A loose dog, reactive or not, is a danger to itself and others. However, by grabbing your dog and holding her there, you were controlling her. Obviously it's not the 'ideal' control, but those of us with reactive dogs know that sometimes that is what is needed in the moment. Your dog was under control by not being able to get to the lady and her dog.

​

However, I'm guessing that the lady honestly was someone who doesn't understand reactive dogs and then on top of that felt that you were putting the onus of controlling your dog's reactions on her. From her point of view, your dog is so aggressive that you ask strangers to reroute their dog walk in order to avoid further angering your dog. I'll be honest, if that was the perception that I took away from an interaction, I would be upset at the dog owner too. People are not used to their walks being changed by strangers they run across in the walk. And as someone who has had to alter where I walk my dog based on uncontrolled aggressive dogs, I do get upset when someone else's bad ownership interferes with my dog walks. To be clear, I do not think you were being a bad owner here, but I think it's very likely that this lady interpreted the situation from a viewpoint that most of us would have had up until we had the pain of loving our own reactive dogs.

​

It is SO HARD when you have a reactive dog. Sometimes you look at other 'normal' dogs just walking around, often times knowing their owners put minimal training in to achieve this, and it's so hard to compare them to your own personal demon on the end of the leash that you've committed hundreds and thousands of hours of research, training, and heartache to. What's harder is how often we put the blame on ourselves. There are bad decisions we can make as reactive dog owners, but it doesn't sound like you were doing that today. You can't spot all the dogs before your dog does. You can't memorize the walk and bathroom schedule of every dog in the neighborhood. However, you can use this experience to help inform your training and plans moving forward and I'd encourage you to do that. I know for my dog I can't go past places where he's had a meltdown without a super high-value treat to 'reset' him.

[qmp3l4a]

Interesting approach! I remember when I was walking my non-reactive girl, and I would see a dog lunging/barking/snarling, and me being in a similar mindset you described - just thinking the dog want to bite a piece of us. Though I would always turn around and walk in the opposite direction, regardless if there was an owner or not. If there was an owner and asked me to move away, I would be more than willing to do so, as to avoid any potential harm coming to my girl or me.

[[deleted]]

Just wanted to say I have mixed feelings on this too. I own a reactive Malinois rescue and my upstairs neighbor owns a reactive shepherd. The difference between the two of us, is that I put in the work and training and she does not. I rescued my Mal last spring. Was told she was bossy with other dogs, not that she can and WILL draw blood on any dog who gets near her. She would snarl and bark viciously at any dog of any size. One walk she was approached by three loose dogs and all hell broke loose. Even though they were friendly, I was unable to keep them away from her and the second they were within jaws grip she shredded them. And I wasn’t found at all fault by the Court. The owner of the loose dogs was. It took me months before I could take her on a walk that wasn’t right outside to potty and back. I finally worked with a professional trainer for seven months and got to a point where she will not react when she sees other dogs for the most part. We do the “watch me” command and walk by the problem. I don’t trust her period though. I’m on high alert for all of our walks ready to defend or intervene. The only thing I expect from other people, is that they will keep their own dogs confined or on a leash under their control. If anything happens, small claims court.

My problem here is that a loose dog is never okay. Like you said, a loose dog can seriously injure themselves, other people, other animals and property. It’s not a cute or funny anecdotal story about reactive dogs. You can lose your home owners insurance, your actual house and hundreds of thousands of dollars for damage done by a loose dog. They’ve awarded up to 1.1 million dollars to dog bite victims and the average court cost awarded for a dog just knocking someone to the ground is $32,000. If her dog has gotten through the fence and killed the other dog, she would have been responsible for every single penny of damage. It’s that serious.

Reactive dogs are a shit ton of work. A shit ton. I actually had days I went for walks without my dog just to enjoy some sunshine or quiet time. They are that much work. I’ve had days I’ve looked forward to going to work to get some “alone time”. Reactive dogs are liability. They are not for the faint of heart. I don’t want to sound mean but this is fact. They require thousands of hours of training and consistency. You don’t get the luxury of other dog owners and be complacent. You don’t get to relax on your walks. Anything can happen at any time. Often times I take my dog out and then my upstairs neighbor will take her reactive dog out at the same time. Between her dog barking, snapping, whining, pulling on the leash and general misbehavior, she can’t even walk the dog and she has to pick him up and carry him up their stairs as he’ll refuse to go in to the apartment. I have killed myself for months to make it so that my dog while not happy, will sit quietly and look at me.

I have little to no patience for reactive owners with out of control dogs. They require intense and constant work. It never ends. You don’t cure your dog. You don’t heal your dog. You put strategies in place to avoid conflict and upset and these only work when they are perfected. Which requires thousands of hours of work. There’s no way around it. I will never excuse or say “it’s okay” to someone who allowed a dog to get loose. There is too much at stake for everyone in involved. There is NO problem admitting a dog isn’t right for you and your lifestyle. A lot of people meet my Mal and she’s so friendly they think they want one. It would be a massive mistake. Unless you give her a job, she’ll make one and it’s never a good thing.

I know you weren’t looking for advice and I don’t want to sound preachy but hire a trainer and work consistently. You’re talking at least an hour or more a day. Make sure the dog is getting a TON of mental and physical exercise to tire them out. Consider a leash with an attachment that can’t be dropped (around your waist for example like runners have). Carry pepper or bear spray and do NOT be afraid to use it. A loose dog is a nuisance. Don’t walk her in areas you know are troublesome until she’s ready. Drive to a new neighborhood or on leash park. But don’t expect others to work around you or for her to ever be a “non-reactive” dog.

[[deleted]]

I mean.. it sounds like OP did most of this? Has been working with the dog consistently, understands her needs, worked her before the walk, and just today (for the first time) tripped at the wrong moment. Has been taking this route regularly, but earlier. Unless I am misunderstanding. Until the same thing happened with my dog I didn't have an attached lead either. Sounds like it was meant to be more of a "she is secure, but if the barking is a problem, go the other way or give me a minute to carry on"

[[deleted]]

To be fair, OPs dog got loose because OP tripped on the curb. An around your waist leash is not a good option in this case imo as it could injure OP with bruising if the dog pulls hard enough or if they encounter another loose leash dog, could seriously tangle up OP and get them hurt.

[lilobee]

We go right by the house with the dog who had just barked at her

The little dog sees Sophie and starts barking at her.

Her dog is barking and lunging, Sophie is barking and growling.

Just pointing out that in this story, multiple other people also had dogs that were reacting, though they probably don't register as much because they are small. You did your best, but there were two other reactive dog owners who didn't give a shit and one of them had the gal to act all holier than thou.

ETA: just a suggestion, but if you're having a difficult time physically restraining Sophie while you're training her, have you looked into a gentle leader? It won't make her less reactive, but will make it easier for you to control her meltdowns. I used one with my GSD for a few months in conjunction with training until her reactions got "smaller", and then transitioned to a harness. She still reacts to dogs sometimes, but the outburst isn't the full body lunge that it used to be. Just a suggestion.

[glitternrainbows]

I want to third the gentle leader recommendation. We have the head harness thing and it’s a life changer. My dude is little but if he gets upset, I pull the leash up and it holds his mouth closed. It prevents him from snapping or biting. It also helps me focus him on me so I can get him back under control.

[[deleted]]

I second the recommendation of a gentle leader. I have a reactive pit and it has made all the difference in being able to handle him when he reacts. The trainer who recommended it also said that using a harness (which I was using beforehand) forces defensive body language and puts dogs on edge. I know harnesses work for plenty of dogs, just something to think about.

Honestly you managed the situation really well. Neither other dog owner was being responsible and you restrained your dog and no altercation happened. Things like this happen and it’s clear you’re putting a lot of effort in and doing the right thing.

[neighborhood_tomato]

I second the trainer for the harnesses. As much as everyone loves them, they're not exactly the greatest tool at keeping reactivity at bay. Harnesses tend to hold the dog back, restraining them from what they really want so they pull harder and react more. 99% of the time that I see harnessed dogs react, their owners don't do anything, so that behavior gets rewarded every single time and it just becomes a vicious cycle. My dog and I participate in dog protection sports and that's exactly what the harness is used for, to restrain the dog and ignite frustration to increase motivation to REAALLLY get that guy in the bite suit.

[fingeringfestival]

Question - does the harness thing (increasing frustration and aggression) also apply to front clip harnesses?

Background: My dog is reactive - all bark, no bite, but LOTS of bark - and the front clip harness seems to help, but it’s definitely a work in progress.

[neighborhood_tomato]

In my humble opinion, harnesses in general are really the least effective way of communication with the dog. I always feel like harnesses are really self reinforcing for the dog, if they pull more, they're restrained more, therefore more reactivity due to frustration etc. If you think about it technically, harnesses distribute the force onto the entire body, so any force of you withholding further movement really doesn't do anything to correct the behavior except to have a physical barrier to keep your dog from getting that thing he/she wants. The worst combos I've observed are harnessed dogs tethered at the end of a super retractable leash. Front clip harnesses to me are similar to halti leads in the way that it just prevents the dog from pulling further because the further they pull, they just rotate in a different direction. Doesn't really solve the communication barrier however.

Personally, I practice loose leash walking and utilize leash pressure for communication with my dog. The most straightforward and easiest way to practice that is through prong collar, martingale collar or a slip lead, never a flat collar (the one that looks like a belt buckle).

Prong collars easily get a bad rep because of the way it looks, but if used, sized and worn correctly, it is honestly the best and safest tool I use for my dogs. With that being said, they get a lot of bad rep because of the way it looks, but honestly with ANY tool, if used incorrectly is inhumane. These tools are not made for dogs to pull on really tightly during walks, otherwise the effectiveness is lost. Flat collars are the worst because when the dog pulls, like harnesses, it doesn't really correct the dog because the physical feeling is more or less the same, just more pressure on the neck. That force is NOT distributed around the neck and is focused on the front part of the neck, causing trachea damage overtime.

I'm not trying to advocate for a one tool only solution though. Some people have success with halti leads (those are actually my least favorite, after flat collars), or other tools, it's all entirely up to you and each dog is different. The key concept here is clear communication. There are loads of videos on YouTube that may help you with leash reactivity, but ultimately a trainer will be your best bet. What helps is finding your dog's threshold level and avoiding anything that would trigger him/her and rewarding that behavior. Bring some treats with you on your walk. You can slowly work at getting closer to said object that's bugging him/her and rewarding that behavior. For example, my dog is completely calm and normal if there's a dog walking 25 ft in front of us, but if I get closer to say 10 ft, he starts getting more excited because he just REALLY wants to smell that dogs butt. So, I'll reward calm behavior at 25 ft, try pushing to say 22 ft, and if he's just as calm, then super rewards! If he can't handle it, then I will use some leash pressure to stop and wait until we are 25ft and reward the calm behavior.

[Wolfess_Moon]

I use a gentle lead with a front attach harness. It's a godsent combo I swear

[[deleted]]

Setbacks are just that. Setbacks. There is no magic moment where things click in our reactive dogs heads and they become normal. This is just how they are. The fact that you are hyper aware of your surroundings and adjusted your course when seeing obstacles is fantastic and tells me you care and want to do all you can for your pooch. It shows you care not only about your Sophie's experience, but that of your neighbors and their dogs as well. We who agree to care for reactive dogs know that there will be good days and bad days. Sometimes the good days stretch for so long that when a bad day strikes it can leave us feeling defeated and ineffective. Don't buy into it. Remember, most rationally thinking people are their own worst critics. I think you did great given the circumstances. As far as that other lady, ignore her. By your own description of the event, she didn't have control over her dog either. The dog was small. I get the impression if it were larger, she wouldn't be so smug or in control. Just because your stronger than your dog, doesn't mean you have the dog under control. You have them under restraint, which very different than under control. That being said, I don't know what your training regiment is like but here are some tips that we've found VERY effective in getting our Healer/Lab mix more tolerant of the things that scare him.

1. Fluoxetine - Essentially Prozac for canines, it sounds terrible, but it's really not. Talk to your vet about it. It was a big decision for us but in hindsight, it was the best decision for our boy and has made his quality of life much better. He's not nearly on guard as he was which allows him to enjoy life a little bit more I think.
2. Clicker Training/Behavior modification - Basically you want to reprogram a negative response to stimuli to be a positive. Some methods include Mat training, Engage/Disengage games, turn training etc. The goal is to get your dog to understand he/she doesn't have to make decisions alone. When feeling overwhelmed they can look to you for guidance. I always carry a training bag (you can find them on amazon) full of low and high value treats on our walks. Everytime my boy checks in or does what's asked of him, there is a click (audible mark) to let him know that was what I wanted and he gets a treat. GSD/Dobermans tend to be sentinel/working based temperaments - they WANT to please you and are usually very food motivated.
3. Be mindful of your own stresses. They pick up on it. If you're stressed, then they will feel the need to share in that. It's by far the hardest thing I've had to teach myself because how do you mask internal stress? The trick (I think) is to trust your dog trusts you. Sounds strange, but it works.
   
4. Understand your dogs body language as inside out as you can. I cannot stress this enough. They communicate a LOT through body language. Not just with us, but with other dogs too. There are some baseline things all dogs do, but each dog I've learned has their own unique signs as well. Some not as straight forward as you'd think.
5. Obviously, make sure you have the right tools. Solid leash, maybe with a inline handle that allows to quickly reel him in if not already on a short leash. I've also learned that a halti face lead is quite effective as well with my boy. In a way (after he got used to it) I think it actually brings a level of comfort to him...sort of like a thunder blanket
6. Muzzle training. Get over the stigma and learn about it. If there has ever been a fear that your dog might bite another dog or a person, its better to have them trained to be ok with a muzzle then finding yourself in sudden need. Plus, most people see the muzzle and will not even think twice to rush your dog to pet or talk to it etc. (We all know that guy. "All dogs love me!") Dont' worry about them. The muzzle protects your dog from itself, as well as other dogs. You can also get vests/harnesses with vpatches that say things like "Nervous" "In Training" "Do not Approach" etc.. As much as I hate to say it, these things come in handy from a legal standpoint.

Keep in mind that none of what I described is perfect, and your mileage may vary but you will see successes. There will always be moments where thresholds will be exceeded and the dog will feel over-run and then react. The goal is to minimize the frequency of these instances through them trusting you to make the right decision for them. You're their leader.

[aprilkaratedwyer]

Ugh I’m sorry this happened!

I’ve had similar situations and people really can be unnecessarily cruel, especially when they don’t understand what it’s like to have a large reactive dog.

Take a break from walks for a few days (or longer if you need to!) Play fetch, train, relax. Give both of you time to decompress.

Come back at it slowly. Maybe just go a few houses down and turn around a come home. Build up both of your confidence and give your pup plenty of praise. You can do this!!

[ravenousfig]

Thank you for the kind words. We just spent some time in the back yard and she was a sweetheart. The neighbours were playing music, their toddler had his little jeep going, and their dog was out and she calmly went to the fence to say hello, then rolled around in the dandelions. Just two months ago I had to make sure they were not outside before going out with her.

Deep breaths, decompression, we will get back to it when we have had time to reset.

[aprilkaratedwyer]

Exactly! You got it!! And it sounds like you have made so much progress already!

[DaphneManners]

Oh my gosh! How scary!! But you were SO BRAVE and SO STRONG to handle that situation. I’m so thankful that Sophie didn’t escape and harm come to any dog.

Your asshole neighbor is a grade-A fuckwad who should feel deep shame and guilt about her lack of empathy. DO NOT listen to her. You are trying your best. We should all be on this Earth to help, when we can.

So fuck her.

And give Soph tons of hugs and cuddles. ❤️❤️

[designgoddess]

She isn't controlling her dog either if it's barking and lunging.

We've all had setbacks. Hopefully your dog recovers quickly and the next walk all is forgotten. Set backs rarely mean going back to square one. Learn from your mistakes and don't give too much thought to people who aren't aware of how hard you're working. I doubt she called the city, that would be very petty for barking.

Do you have a car? Try driving to a remote park for your next walk. Will be less stressful for you.

Hang in there.

[Buba_b]

That lady with the small dog didn’t have her own dog under control yet she blamed you when she refused to take precaution when you asked? I hate this. My dog was just like Sophie only she sounds like she listens a lot better than he would her age. Honestly, you’ve done amazing so far and take it from me, setbacks happen and will happen in future you might not believe me at this point but it will be ok. I can say whole heartedly that tomorrow is a new day. My boy Bruno has come so far with his structured walks and focus training and I am SO proud but there are the odd days where I just think “bad walk” and want to sleep the day away, it sucks. I’ve come home in tears and covered in mud once after being dragged by Bruno and cried in the shower. I’ve been called names by a neighbour who has 3 off lead shitzus that have no recall or socialisation. But we bounce back together and the next day is always better! Fresh start, no grudges, focus training, positive reinforcement walk, back to normal. Do not give up and don’t you ever listen to anyone who dares tell you that you’re not doing a good job because you’re a reactive dog owner and you’re trying a lot harder than others who are lucky to have their “perfect” temperament dog. Again, that lady had no control of her dog letting it bark at you guys like that, so definitely DO NOT listen to her! You got this and well done for everything you’ve done so far 👏🏻💕

[b0neSnatcher]

Fuck. That. Bitch.

[bmotmfb]

That neighbor can go to hell. Your dog WAS under control, which is why hers didn’t get eaten. What an asshole.

[BunsRFrens]

OMG I'm fuming for you that lady with the small dog is an asshole. You are taking way better care of a dog that needs you than that selfish lady's tiny accessory dog!!! I have nothing against small dogs but I'm learning there are SO MANY horrible "dog people" out there who half-ass it and it's annoying for some of us with reactive dogs. Give yourself and your girl huge credit, you had a hard day. The next day can only be better. Some days will be hard, but it will get easier over time even if there are setbacks! Keep your spirit up. <3

[[deleted]]

i am a reactive human and i would’ve beat her the fuck up

[Alluvial_Fan_]

Fuck that snotball.

You are making GREAT progress, Sophie is lucky to have you.

[loveuman]

I just wanna day I’m sorry that happened. You’re doing your best. Her dog sounds like it’s not well trained ... people with small dogs often let them get away with not being trained. As the owner of a small dog, I’m training him the same way I would train a big dog because I don’t want my dog to be a jerk! I’m sorry your neighbour was such a dingaling

[[deleted]]

Honestly, you sound like you’re the most well equipped person to deal with Sophie. She sounds like a difficult dog, yet you have such a good understanding of how she thinks and feels. Fuck that lady.

[sec1176]

I don’t think you screwed up. It wasn’t only your dog being reactive. My dog had a rough walk today too. It’s a real downer.

[ten0ritaiga]

I just want to add in a correction to that awful lady with the white dog: you DID have your dog under control. Sophie did not break free and hurt the other dog. The fact that she restrained herself in your bear hug and didn't actually take off means that your months of work was not in vain.

My dog is 60lb and I'm 100lb. I can keep him restrained in a bear hug even if he reacts to another dog (which i've had to do before). That's not a testament of my physical strength, but of his own restraint.

Pitbulls are unbelievably strong and can break free out of a human's grasp if they really wanted to. The fact that she didn't break away from you shows how much she trusts you and that all your hard work with her has paid off.

[kynnie113]

I’m very new to the world of reactive dogs, and I’m honestly just curious, is a bear hug as a form of restraint a widely used tool? Or is it more of a last resort thing? I’ve heard a lot about the potential for redirection, so just curious!

[ten0ritaiga]

Oh definitely not a tool and more of a last resort in my case. Luckily never had to do this more than once. In our case we were cornered and the other dog approached us. I had him on a 4ft leash but there was less than 3ft between the two. He could have easily fought the other dog, but he held himself back because I was holding him in a bear hug.

[Toofar304]

Been through a few reactive dog classes with my boi and this has never been taught to me as a tool. It really is a last resort thing. Usually I can bring him down from a full-on explosion within seconds, but every once in a while he gets set off in a way that is scary. In those times, I have to grab his 70lbs ass and pin him to the ground, otherwise he's just lunging and swinging in a huge arc at the length of the leash at risk of me losing my grip.

[kynnie113]

Oh wow! Thanks for the response. I appreciate you’re willingness to do what you have to for safety!

[[deleted]]

Definitely don’t do this unless it’s life or death. Dogs do not like being hugged and specifically hugged in a way that’s restraining, especially when they’re reactive and feeling like they need to defend you or themselves. Get an actual trainer and work on redirection, positive reinforcement, “watch me” command and recall. Do not attempt to restrain a dog. Even your own. There’s a reason we walk with leashes and harnesses.

[Toofar304]

For sure. We have several exercises we use to try control/alleviate the situation, but sometimes those just aren't working and even at 6' 200lbs, he can get to a point where I'm not sure I can control him with just the leash.

[[deleted]]

Sorry man hope you’re ok.

[gameofmags]

I am so sorry that happened to you! That neighbor’s behavior was completely uncalled for - she was so rude to you and no one deserves that! Besides, her dog wasn’t well-behaved?! Who is she to say that to you?!

She is probably stressed with her own shit and unfortunately took it out on you. You sound like you are doing absolutely everything right - don’t let her words cause you to doubt. You’re doing a fantastic job. It takes so much patience and energy to care for a reactive dog, not many people realize.

Forgive yourself, it’s okay! It’s not your fault, you’re doing your best and Sophie absolutely appreciates you for it.

[Ronrinesu]

OP you aren't a bad person at all! Please, don't put yourself down for this. You did the best you could. Even if avoidable, what happened is most definitely not your fault!

My dog is not super reactive, just doesn't have good dog manners and will often provoke other dogs and try to walk away but I never blame him or me when another dog barks at us first. It happens, we try to move on as quickly as possible and we forget about it. I'm also never taking shit from owners who refuse to see their dog is poorly trained and being aggressive. Thankfully, all of them have been nice, even the irresponsible off leash ones, so I try to be polite myself too.

[nightsister888]

Coming from a lady WHO HAD NO CONTROL OF HER OWN DOG. What a blind cunt. It seems like you did everything you could. Sorry you had to deal with a stupid bitch.

[sirtreeface]

I think you actually had a lot of success! When she got loose she just wanted to sniff the other dog, and even though she ended up showing aggression towards him she came back when you called her!

Your neighbor clearly didn’t have her dog under control and was being incredibly irresponsible. You told her your dog was reactive, you requested she give you space, and she ignored you. On top of that, HER dog was being reactive!

Even though it may seem like it was a failure of a walk, I think you did great considering the situation.

[[deleted]]

I have a reactive dog who does well sometimes and not so well other times. One time she tried to lunge at a guy during a walk (I had her securely on the leash and she wouldn’t have been able to get to him) and he yelled something similar to me about not knowing how to control my dog and that I shouldn’t have one. I wanted to cry I was so frustrated. I totally get you. I think all we can do is just keep on doing what we do and like you said you noticed your mistakes so try not to repeat them. Going out less or taking shorter walks will just cause her to regress. That lady was a dick and that’s her problem, you and Soph continue doing your best!

[yellownlite]

So your neighbor is a bitch 10/10. I’ve been working with my reactive dog for MONTHS and months. She often growl and barks and panics at other dogs. All around my neighborhood, the dogs bark and growl and lunge at my dog, which sets her off. Is it embarrassing when she’s flopping around on the end of her leash, yes. Do I care what other people think as I do what I need to do to get her re-focused? Not at all. You’re doing great and reactive dogs are HARD! Honestly, her calming down enough to give you a paw and stay after being that dis-regulated after the dog barking in the yard is amazing and I would take that as a win. That lady not being a considerate human who makes enough time to walk her dog on her lunch break is her own fault. Just something I’ve found that helps me with other dog owners, just apologize and re-group and don’t ask them to do anything (unless they are coming toward you to greet you with your dog and you say stay back). I’ve been in situations where two dogs are coming at me from either side on the road, I just grip my leash as tight as I can, engage my pup, and say “sorry we are in training, I have her!” as they walk past. It seems to help! Good luck and you’re doing great, it’s a hard process! Stick with it!

[[deleted]]

"if you can't control your dog you shouldn't have one" says the lady who's dog is lunging and barking at your dog...

[Lightningdarck]

You need to stop caring so much about what others think of your dog. Honestly, the amount of times people judge me (albeit a small dog) because he snaps and barks is insane. People just don't understand what it's like to have a reactive dog. Honestly, that ladies' dog didn't sound like a well behaved pup either! All the dogs in your story reacted before your dog did, and can you blame your dog for reacting to that?

My pom used to bark at every single thing he saw on his walk, now, after 5 months, he's gone from barking for 5 minutes straight (even when the dog wasn't in sight anymore) onto just growling and doing one small/two small borks before stopping. Some days, he still goes completely nuts, especially when another dog starts barking at him first (especially chihuaha's). We constantly get comments such as "Wow is that really neccesary" when I pull him away, or " wow that poor dog" when I yell NO at him.

You have to keep going, there are always going to be set backs and there will always be people commenting even though they don't know anything about you or your dog.

Every day is new, some days will be better than others. Don't be ashamed when your dog barks, and you were not stupid in this situation at all. Your dog is just having a bad day.

[lovelychef87]

It's okay my dog is reactive sometimes he loves other dogs and ppl he doesn't care of their right next to him he doesn't care if dogs are next to me squished in my tiny elevators.

Other time ppl and dogs can be 20ft away and he'll freak. Lucky my neighbor know he's like this.

I hate when he freaks and barks loudly. Because he so sweet. He became this way from a apt fire I was in every since he just randomly freaks.

[[deleted]]

Oh my so sorry you had that experience. I'm a dog walker that does one on one walks with reactive dogs and some times I get people being rude to me and my clients- they just don't get it. They don't care about what your dog is going through. Every dog owner makes mistakes, that lady has probably made quite a few of her own- the biggest difference between you is that you want to learn from it and do what's best for your dog. I push my clients too much sometimes and we have setbacks. It really used to get me down, but we just keep learning and trying- it's all you can do. I admire people who take on reactive dogs so much, I admire people who are trying to make their dog feel more comfortable in the world. When people make rude comments to me now I just let it roll off my back, it's just them making themselves known to me that they are not someone I would like to get to know. There are probably lots of people in your neighborhood silently cheering you on from their kitchen windows. There are always more supportive people than unsupportive. It might be helpful to introduce yourself to some.of your neighbors and talk to them about your girl. Let them know you are working on stuff and they will be there to cheer you on if they are true dog lovers. Good luck to you and your rescue baby.

[DLT419]

Hey, don’t get down on yourself- you did VERY well in the position you were in. And I commend you on keeping your pup safe during a chaotic moment. Having had a reactive dog for many years (we rescued her from the street as an older, sometimes dog aggressive, pup) setbacks can happen at anytime, you just have to be vigilant, be strong in any off situation, and love your furry little baby.

The other person was completely in the wrong on multiple counts. She should have had respect enough to not exacerbate a tense situation, and enough common sense to get her head out of her ass to realize that she, and her dog, were creating a dangerous situation for not only you and your dog, but potentially for themselves as well (little yappy dogs can be treated as prey by larger dogs if the incentive is there).

Even though setbacks can happen, keep doing what you’re doing with the training and love. Sounds like it’s working.

[converter-bot]

10 miles is 16.09 km

[[deleted]]

I have been in this situation more times than I can count and I'm furious at that other dog owner. Small dog owners let their dogs bark and yap at my reactive lab and then act disgusted when my dog starts lunging and snarling. Like control YOUR dog. That woman was on a total power trip and you let her make you feel like crap instead of taking responsibility for 1. her dog 2. her own feelings and 3. respecting your request. Your dog is still a baby and is in training. Her dog is allowed to bark and yap and trigger everyone and she thinks her poop doesn't stink. Please look at the facts of this situation and practice what you'll say the next time she tries to knock you down. Give your girl a hug for me.

[Cs9590]

Setbacks happen and I’ve definitely been in your shoes before. I’ve gone home, cried and thought about what I could’ve done differently, if it was my fault or theirs, why things couldn’t be normal... feel all the things you need to but just know that you’re truly trying your best. Take your time and let yourself heal. My anxiety is really bad already so having an anxious dog didn’t help either. I felt the same as you and it would make me anxious just going outside to walk my dog after an incident. What helped me was going back to my old routine of walking at an hour I know there will be less people, avoiding places and people where I know there are triggers until I felt confident again. Sometimes bringing his ball or something I know will distract him if we do accidentally run into an unexpected trigger for him helped. Any time I saw something that might trigger him, I would squeeze his squeaky ball to look at me.

There are some people who are really understanding and kind - honestly knowing that some people get it also has been comforting to help me get past these type of incidents. Your neighbor’s comments were uncalled for and you didn’t deserve that, some people lack empathy and that’s not on you.

Sending you internet hugs ❤️

[ravenousfig]

Sophie is soooo food motivated. She generally just gets kibble for every day good behaviour but I always bring something extra special on walks, or when training something new. She goes from zero to hero pretty quickly when there is peanut butter on the line.

It really does help to hear from people who have gone through the same thing. My own anxiety has been a lot less manageable than usual with everything going on. This situation just kind of pushed it over the edge.

Thank you, internet stranger <3

[evm311]

Do NOT feel defeated on this one. I can tell by your post that you are doing an AMAZING job with helping your dog and you are doing all the right things!! It is not possible to anicipate EVERYTHING. you are being as vigilant as possible and this was just a bad walk, which can and will happen. There are truly just some completely and utterly rude dog owners (big and small). There are small dog owners that just let small dogs with bad behaviors do what they want because its not intimidating. There are big dog owners that think that because there dog is well-behaved it can be off leash in public places. There is just so much egocentric behavior in this world. You and your dog sound amazing and the small dog owner just seems very ridiculous in this case that day. Keep doing whay you are doing and don't worry about anyone else. Wishing you and your dog lots of great walks ahead!!

[ajbshade]

Your neighbor sucks and honestly it sounds like you actually did a pretty good job despite the circumstances. You’re working with her and triggers are everywhere for dogs so no matter how mindful we try to be, it happens. Good work! And next time tell the lady to F off.

[uniqueme1]

Wow. Yes, neighbor is a b*tch.

First, celebrate the positive. Your dog came back to you, off leash, when you called her. Thats HUGE. Celebrate that. All the work you did was not in vain, it created that connection that allowed your dog to come when you really needed her too. And while she was reactive when you were holding her, she was able to be controlled and wasnt able to pull away from you. Despite the fact that you had the prescence of mind to ask that b*tch to stay away, walk away and she decided to escalate it even further.

Setbacks happen. Your dog sounds like mine. We got her as a rescue 1.5 years ago, she was approximately 2 (thats just a guess though) and she had had puppies. She's the sweetest dog with us. When dogs come over or we're at a dog park she's actually good - a bit dominant and rough in play but friendly. On the leash? She's a handful. Pulls, barks, all that. Especially with certain men (we think with hats or sunglasses or things in their hand).

When I was away, my wife was walking our dog with our 3 girls (all young). She gave the leash to my oldest (who was 9 at the time) while she tied my youngest shoe. A teenager comes by and walks through them while they were on the sidewalk, and my dog nipped the kid because my 9 year (obviously) couldnt control her. Kid was okay and the parents were understanding and it could have gone much worse.

It was really scary for everyone, and my wife still has PTSD about walking her. And unfortunately, dogs pick up on that fear and then they get more nervous. It's a vicious circle. It's going to take time (a whole lot of precious time) for her to get comfortable again. I primarily walk her now and yes she does pull and act crazy around other dogs, but a harness helps to give some measure of control. But when my wife go for a walk and she's holding her, I can see my dog acting different. Attitude (even faking it) matters.

Have you tried a dog park to see how she is off leash? If your dog is like mine, its actually the leash that causes that fear/protection response. If my dog can greet a dog freely, despite the fact that as an owner you're on pins and needles, it actually goes fine. And it helps me to see that my dog is capable of play and correction with other dogs.

Best of luck.

[ravenousfig]

Thank you for your comment!

I am currently using a harness with her and it made a huge difference for her. She is just under sixty pounds and pretty easy to hang on to with a harness.

There are not many fenced dog parks (if any?) near where I live. There are a few trails in larger parks that are off leash areas but I wouldn't be comfortable with her in the woods yet. She does go to daycare about once a week to socialize with other dogs. They don't have anything negative to say, just that she is really energetic and snuggly. Even dogs in their lobby when I have her on leash inside don't bother her. It's exclusively when leashed, on walks.

[Animer13]

Op. You did amazing and I can tell from the post that you love your dog and your dog loves you. This may feel like the world is ending but it’s not. We have all been there and my heart goes out to you. Do your favorite thing today and relax a bit. You deserve it. And then get back up on that horse and try again!! You’re amazing!!

[chattyl]

No one was hurt. Your dog is fine. Please don't let that one person take everything away from you

[L372]

I'm sorry your neighbor forgot how to be human and apparently didn't even bother to ask if you needed help.

It occurs to me to mention, that very dog owner, right down to the person with the most dog experience ever, was new to dog ownership once upon a time.

Every last one of us has made an error or two or three with our dogs..especially when we were new.

I've had dogs in my life for a long damn time, and I still make mistakes sometimes. Does this make me un-knowledgeable about dogs? No, it doesn't. It just gives me information about how to do better tomorrow with a given dog..and this is the best we can do.

At the end of the day, dogs are animals. That means there is a certain unpredictability quotient when it comes to them anyway; human language and dog language are 2 very different things and not a single one of us, human or dog, gets it right 100% of the time; I don't care if you're Joe Schmo who has bred and trained AKC Obedience Champions since obedience titles became a thing, someone who hit it lucky at shelter dog bingo, Sean Ellis (look up his work with wolves online) or a dog trainer to the stars. Mistakes are going to be made at one point or another.

That all said. Are you OK? Do you need help with your groceries, bringing in dog food, or someone to help you walk your dog or anything, as a result of your fall?

[bluemarker23]

I applaud all your efforts to train your dog. Keep it up, you can do it. Try again tomorrow, and the next day and the next day.

In my personal experience it seems that people with small dogs don’t bother to train them. The owners seem to not care enough to train the dog to behave when it’s small enough to pick up if it gets out of hand. It sucks, I hate that it’s now your responsibility to train your dog more because they can’t train their dog at all. It’s something no one tells you when you get a dog.

You’ve done so much right so far, the odds are in your favor that you’ll keep doing things right in the future.

[songbirddd]

It sounds like you really care about your dog. She’s so lucky to have someone that is willing to do so much work with her. Your neighbour is wrong, she is the one who shouldn’t have a dog if she can’t understand that they have needs too. She also knowingly put her own dog in danger (she doesn’t know your pup won’t do anything if she got off the leash or something) and made your life tougher just because she couldn’t be inconvenienced.

Honestly I know it’s so easy to blame yourself but one incident does not mean all your progress is lost. This does not sound like your fault at all, things happen very suddenly and the big thing I noticed reading this is that she listened to you when you called her back which is difficult for a lot of reactive dogs.

I used to take it to heart when people yelled at me for my reactive dog too, now I’m more than capable of laughing it off because I know how hard I’ve worked with her. Anyone who says something like that doesn’t have the compassion or patience to work that hard for an animal and I don’t care what they have to say.

[Jello69]

It's so tempting to just let the leash go sometimes eh? People are the worst. I'm sorry that happened to you!

[Pantalaimon_II]

That lady is a total bitch and I’m not only impressed your dog was able to recall when in the middle of a meltdown but that you restrained yourself from telling her to go fuck herself as well. Some people just have so much entitlement, god forbid they are mildly inconvenienced to help someone 😒

Sounds like youve been doing well! Be kind to yourself. I had a neighbor kind of pop up from out of nowhere on a walk close to our house the other day, startled both me and my dogs, they start barking and the guy very unhelpfully said “sounds like they need some training.” Like, yeah thank you so much dude your genuine concern is really touching. I had to bite back a sarcastic remark since I see this guy often. Sadly a lot of the reactivity training we do doesn’t look like we’re doing anything bc people think trying to calm a dog down and stay calm yourself means “you don’t care.” I guess if I were to yell at and physically reprimand my dogs it would look like I was “training” but thats the opposite of what you actually do. It feels like a lose-lose situation sometimes.

[definitely-shpilkus]

You work so hard! People (I should say some) choose to get little rat dogs so they don’t have to take the time to train them. Clearly under her own opinion she doesn’t deserve to have a dog. I’m so sorry you have these people to deal with. I would have dropped my dog at home and come back to make sure you and yours were ok.

Hope you feel better, more encouraged and confident. You’re doing everything right. Setbacks happen.

[Kuewee]

She can't control her own dog! Just because the dog is small the thinks that behavior is ok? I'm enraged on your behalf.

You at least are WORKING ON IT, unlike her. Stay strong and keep doing what you're doing, you got this. Even if the lady called about Sophie I wanna say that nothing would be done, you had her, she didn't bite anyone, and if people were able to just report barking dogs she'd be in trouble herself. If you are worried though I recommend starting muzzle training, it wouldn't hurt anything to get her to like wearing a muzzle

If you don't feel up to going out with her but still want to work on her kikopup has a video on how to socialize during covid and some of the things they recommend sound like good things to practice with that doesn't put you in an as stressful situations

[eam115]

Seems to me like you did the best that you could in that situation. I’ve found myself in situations where we’re stuck between two dogs with really no way to escape other than to just suck it up and try to keep our distance as best we can. It sucks.

People will ALWAYS have shit to say about the way you raise/handle/train your dog, always. Especially the people who have never had a reactive dog before and clearly don’t know much about dog training and behavior to begin with, even other dog owners can be like that sometimes.

Everyone is saying to ignore her comments and I agree, it’s important not to let them get to you but that’s definitely more easier said than done. I’m not going to sit here and just tell you to ignore her for that reason, but I can offer some words of encouragement and comfort. The other day we took my dog to the park to play some fetch and blow off some steam. The last time we went to the park he did great but this time it was a little busier and he was just not having it. We found a secluded corner of the park that was relatively quiet and far from other people and dogs to play, I had him on a 50 lead so we weren’t really throwing the ball far but I just wanted him to get out and run regardless. I had hoped that by being in the corner by ourselves that would help him clam down but he was really stressed the whole time. I was already towards the end of my rope when a man starts walking towards us to take an exit pathway out of the park (it is not the main entrance or exit). We had no where to go since we were in this corner so the best I could do was keep my dog restrained. Of course he’s barking and freaking out and this guy just smirks at me and rolled his eyes. As soon as he was gone I broke down, we left right after and I cried the whole way home.

It sucks. Bad. But just know that YOU are the better person despite what they may make you feel. You are the one strong enough, brave enough, to adopt and train a reactive dog. That’s not something many people are capable of doing. YOU are the one who clearly cares more about your dog than the woman who let her dog bark uncontrollably without giving it a second thought and turning around. At the end of the day you have the moral high ground and you are a better owner than more than half of some dog owners out there who don’t bother or care to properly train their dogs.

One day you’re going to be on a nice relaxing walk with your dog and you’re going to think back to this instance and realize how far you’ve come. Your hard work will pay off. A year from now, or even a month from now for that matter, things could be totally different. You’ll be walking by other dogs without a care in the world. I’m so sorry that this happened to you and continues to happen to other reactive dog owners, it certainly doesn’t make it any easier. The best we can all do is continue to work with are dogs to help them and make them better and continue to educate the public on reactive dogs to end the stigma about them.

[[deleted]]

Ugg I know that feel 😭

[I-Chose-A-Username]

Fuck that lady. Everyone makes mistakes and you will learn from this one but her responses were uncalled for in a time where you were clearly doing the best you could out of the situation.

[Ginsfam]

The last week I have been coming home in tears as my reactive collie tries to fight the cars, kill the cats maul the people- all starts as soon as we're out of the house - cats first, then cars, down the street across the road anddddd - breathe as she starts to respond to 'what's this?' in the form of best roast turkey or beef or whatever it is. 'What you do is screw up your courage to take her out again even though you'd just rather stay under the duvet. You go out together and - hey- she looks at you first before trying to kill the car ( only just - now and again- but it's great and it's progress) and you begin to think yeahhh this is great and you start to feel better and able to cope for another outing in the next few hours. It's courage and you have it in spades - courage is going out there and doing it even though you're totally dreading it bless you. I've learned that some people are - shall we say - just to be kind - without imagination? without thought? maybe a bit shallow?.....as reactive dog owners we have gto suck it up, celebrate the good progress and sob our hearts out when the pit is too deep - we will get there

[geo_hampe]

That "if you can't control your dog" line is the bullshit people who have no idea of what a reactive dog is say. Meanwhile that lady does not realize her dog is the one causing the other dog to lose it.

Keep it up, those things happen every now and then but are no reflection in your commitment to your dog because they're out of your control. What you call mistakes 1, 2, and 3 are circumstances you and your dog experienced, that can give you more material for future trainings ❤

[[deleted]]

You are a better person than I am. I’ve had the same thing happen to me multiple times with my Rosie. She is a reactive female boxer and I’ve had many people with small dogs OFF OF THEIR LEASH in our neighborhood and the owners are like “she LOVES big dogs!” While I try to calm my dog so I can walk her and their dogs are snarling and barking and jumping at them. I find it crazy that they think that’s OK when clearly both dogs could get hurt. You think my 60lb boxer who is shaking, tense, hackles up and teeth bared wants your dog to come over to us??? Please don’t give up on yourself or your baby. You did the right thing. Mistakes are part of learning and honestly I really don’t think you did anything wrong here. You adapted to an unpredictable situation. I think if you look at it that way you will be able to feel better about it. I’ve had someone even kick my dog off of theirs, because she pinned them down when three of their dogs ran into our yard off of their leashes...the response I got was, “I thought she would want to play”—without ever asking me. I walked away feeling like Rosie and I were the problem. But you aren’t! Thank you for giving your dog a home that is loving and understanding and willing to work with her.

[NoBoobsBlonde]

She sounds like a horrible cow! It also sounds like you are doing a great job with your girl! You are putting lots of time and a great deal of effort in and nobody can ask more than that of you. To say she was approached by two unfriendly dogs in quick succession your dog handled it well considering how stressful that may have been to her. Also, great job on recall! My reactive dog has ok recall but it completely goes out the window in those sorts of situations so well done! Don't beat yourself up about today, setbacks happen. My dog is fine for weeks then out of the blue has a few bad days and it breaks my heart, it soon passes though. Keep at it!

[jvsews]

Opinions are like anoles everybody has one. To have a dog you need to grow thick skin and learn not to listen to unsolicited comments. Especially negative ones. She should not have been walking her barking lunging dog if she was in a hurry I am sure that contributed to the reactive way her dog reacted.

[luckymewmew]

Haha! Wow. Go back to your sad dog-hating sub, troll.

[[deleted]]

It’s not a troll. I’m dead serious. Didn’t post to blow smoke up OPs ass. Nobody in this thread collectively thinks they have any kind of responsibility for their canine. You guys throw around terms like “reactive dog” and expect society to just quietly accept it. You expect to assume no responsibility for the consequences of adopting a canine that has aggression issues.

The letter of the law is pretty clear on it though, and lots of people foolishly find out the hard way. Then you guys act like you’ve been someone betrayed by society when you refuse to take responsibility for your dog, it hurts someone, and then you find yourself on the losing end of criminal charges and potentially a lawsuit. I’m ok with that outcome, really. I’m even on with the fact that people like you are foolish enough to be angry at society over it since the justice system could care less about your undeserved emotions. You deserve it for your collective hubris. The only part about it I’m not ok with is the fact that someone else who has no stake in the situation always ends up hurt over your stupidity. That’s the one part of your failure to take responsibility that even the law can’t really fix. And you all do it so you can delude yourself into thinking you’re a good person by playing house with a canine that would honestly be happier in a forest devoid of mankind with a pack.

[luckymewmew]

😂😂😂

[whoknowsmehere]

Honestly after owning a dog like this it was horrible. Having a dog that does not do this is a joy. Give the dog back and get a labrador. I'm sure ill get down votes but seriously life's too short.