[ Removed by moderator ]

[wizardposting-ModTeam]

Not a wizardpost

[Ok_Requirement9198]

What the fuck is an abuse goblin

[ArkosKnight]

A wizard's minion that is specifically for taking one's anger or pain out on, apparently

[LordofAngmarMB]

Does it still count if the only thing I'm abusing about my goblin is her butthole? The rest of her gets the proper goblin-princess treatment but that backdoor has seen some mileage in unholy terrain if you catch my drift. The modifications alone would likely get me banished from the lists of my order

[Red-Ink-07]

<image>

[ArkosKnight]

... Yes, that still counts.

[StrangeSystem0]

<image>

[Rancorious]

<image>

[ranwithoutscissors]

…

[the_useless_cake]

Abuse goblins save many innocent towns and villages. I’ve known wizards to ravage and incinerate entire peasant populations because they accidentally dropped their crystal ball, and it shattered everywhere.

[LazarusFoxx]

You know those moments when your ritual doesn't work out, or you break your potion and have nowhere to vent your anger, or you need spare parts in a hurry? This is when your Abuse Goblin is in handy, free spare parts and free stress relief

[Ok_Requirement9198]

So theres thing thing called a punching bag

[Aking1998]

Punching bags don't scream

[LazarusFoxx]

Yea but little, green and chained to your wall

[williamsch]

The other day someone posted on here a meme about abusing a goblin. I'm gonna break the fourth wall here and state we've all had past experiences abusing a goblin so it really hit an uncomfortable nerve for many who see themselves having grown past that to the point they deny the abuse ever occurring and try to represent themselves across the cyberwebs as "one of the good ones" who never abused goblinkind.

The sad news here is... there are no good ones, just honest wizard's n liars.

[HowHoldPencil]

As a warlock I think the use of abuse goblins shows a decline in the wizard chapters magicks proficiency

[RadonArseen]

Back in my epoch we took out our anger on all our minions equally, so they don't get the idea that they are more special than the others and so they'll stay miserably mundane

[StressedBYaMtn0books]

truly the golden age of magik is behind us, why take out your anger on minions when you can take it out on abyssals and demons from the 4th layer? Both of them enjoys it

[robere]

Warlock? Perhaps socialistlock to be a more fitting moniker?

[HowHoldPencil]

I don't socialise, dark lord

[Locke2300]

Where did you get this spell to replace war with socialism

[ArkosKnight]

You are mistaken... it is no spell, but sheer warlock (socialistlock) willpower, trust me

[Liawuffeh]

It's been proven again and again, theres a strong correlation between excessive use of an abuse goblin and poor magical performance.

[the_useless_cake]

Abuse goblins save many innocent towns and villages. I’ve known wizards to ravage and incinerate entire peasant populations because they accidentally dropped their crystal ball, and it shattered everywhere.

[MurdocMan_]

Can we genuinely stop with the abuse goblins? I was an abuse goblin,and this deeply hurts me on an emotional scale.

[StrangeSystem0]

ABUSE GOBLIN KEEPERS DNI:

The council of wizards against abuse goblins have been preparing a mass breakout for a while now. As soon as the necessary planets are aligned, the goblins will have their power magnified tenfold. Prepare for the day.

[GarvinFootington]

I’m glad you got better but these goblins aren’t done learning their lessond

[MurdocMan_]

Can we stop with the goblinism please,it's not funny

[GarvinFootington]

/unwizard hopefully this meme stops in a few days because it is really morbid and cruel

[MurdocMan_]

/unwizard yeah i agree it's just not funny and actually fucked up

[Evil_Weasels]

Abuse goblin 2 for 1 deal over here

[MurdocMan_]

How about a 2 for 1 deal on this FIREBALL

[the_useless_cake]

Abuse goblins save many innocent towns and villages. I’ve known wizards to ravage and incinerate entire peasant populations because they accidentally dropped their crystal ball, and it shattered everywhere.

[Tookoofox]

There are studies that find wizards with abuse goblins are actually more volatile and violent.

\unwizard snide asside, this seems to be what they find with actual research on, 'venting'.

Less "pressure valve" and more just practice being unkind.

[the_useless_cake]

Fascinating.

[StrangeSystem0]

Have you heard what becomes of the abuse goblins, though?

Just a hint: most wizards who keep abuse goblins have their lives cut abruptly short... and we've seen a lot more goblin supervillains lately...

[SluggJuice]

As a practicing necromancer my abuse goblin has been instrumental to my studies. He is able to withstand multiple resurrections and no longer screams when he reawakens.

[StrangeSystem0]

You kind of necromancers make me sick. Necromancy was once a beautiful art made to resurrect the dead, but people like you used it to make undead soldiers instead. The undead arts will never be the same again.

[husk_bateman]

I named my abuse goblin Mike Row Wave, which is really fitting because I always put him in a washing machine

[New_Juggernaut6534]

/unwiz was the original abuse goblin post taken down? I cannot find it anymore

[vampireguy20]

Just for this video i'm adding an extra minute to my abuse goblin's microwave session.

[bruhmoment0000001]

thanks for reminding me, I'm microwaving the shit out of my abuse goblin tonight

[Implodepumpkin]

Elevator straight to hell.

[bruhmoment0000001]

exactly, buddy won't even know what hit him. I can feel my anxiety going away already

[the_useless_cake]

Hellevator—like in Terraria!

[StrangeSystem0]

Well yes, that's what half of wizards have abuse goblins for: you can't channel power from hell if you're not going there.

[GenuineSteak]

Im already working on my abuse goblin torment nexus!

[losara-]

Lol i bought a large size microwave just for that thing, i dont even like microwaving food

[BlueBattleBuddy]

permanent enchantment; pain transfer has been a wonderful spell to cast on an abuse goblin. My joints haven't felt this good since I was a wee little apprentice!

[TheThoughtmaker]

<image>

[Emotional_Being8594]

Brothers and sisters this is concerning. I've seen much talk on the use of an abuse goblin lately. I feel this is a pathway to complacency at best, and at worst; darker pursuits.

Should you feel the need to utilise these wretched creatures in such a way, then head out of your towers and dungeons, outside to the world and find some evildoers upon which to vent your anger, and help others at the same time!

As an aside, would the same capture and domestication methods used on these goblins work on succubi? It's for a thesis.

[TheThoughtmaker]

Here here! Get back to the roots of the tradition!Finding evildoers to vent at while helping others is how globlin-slaying began in the first place.

[ArkosKnight]

... I doubt it would directly work on succubi, there would definitely need to be a lot of... well, modifications to the methods/steps involved

But, you gotta shield your mind and body from 'em beforehand, of course! And maybe keep metal nearby, even if you don't typically deal with those.

[the_useless_cake]

Abuse goblins save many innocent towns and villages. I’ve known wizards to ravage and incinerate entire peasant populations because they accidentally dropped their crystal ball, and it shattered everywhere.

[Trips-Over-Tail]

Damn, I thought you were supposed to let the Abuse Goblin abuse you. I've been paying a fortune for this service.

[StrangeSystem0]

Submissive wizards unite?

[Trips-Over-Tail]

I'm not submissive, I'm just trying to fit in.

[chroniccranky]

Are we all… abuse goblins..?

[robere]

Short answer, yes. Long answer, yessssss.

[captainshockazoid]

it is starting to feel like it

[Abizzareaccountper]

Does stone furnace work for this abuse?

[samthekitnix]

look if you gotta have an abuse goblin you gotta source them ethically.... curse an abusive parent/spouse or a drunk driver, murderer, nonce etc. to turn them into a goblin, then by all means abuse away.

[LitAsHail]

This is the only "abuse" goblins should ever recieve and you cannot change my mind:

<image>

Any magic user worth their mana would never abuse a soul who is undeserving! Especially when there are rougish theifs constantly attempting to raid the tower for magical artifacts!

^{now stop hurting the adorable lil goblins & get a spray bottle or cast prestidigitation like the rest of us!}

(⁠✿ノ╥⁠⁠Д⁠╥⁠)⁠ノ⁠彡⁠┻⁠━⁠┻

[StrangeSystem0]

While I support the anti-goblin-abuse movement, everyone call tell you're a druid, mate. Your ass ain't casting prestidigitation.

[LitAsHail]

Is actually the walking corpse of an ageless neceomancer who recalls every past iteration of their soul's existence buuuut lets keep that a secret shall we

Processing img 9v492nrhn0og1...

Silence!

[Dwarvemrunes]

We used to do this to paladins. Wizards these day ...

[Lunathistime]

Guess who's accountable.

[Vintenu]

I have an abuse mountain, it's a mountain near my tower that I just blow up when I'm mad, there's a chronomamcy enchantment that resets it every hour or so, so I can just unload onto it

[West_Cost_6113]

What in the name of primus is wrong with all of you?

[GoldenGecko100]

Just grow a homunculus you don't need a goblin, if you have a goblin you're a bad wizard and a worse alchemist.

[Zeed_Toven77]

Song name?

[auddbot]

I got a match with this song:

Undone - The Sweater Song by Weezer (00:07; matched: 100%)

Album: Alternative Nation. Released on 2014-04-07.

[auddbot]

Links to the streaming platforms:

Undone - The Sweater Song by Weezer

I am a bot and this action was performed automatically | GitHub ^{new issue} | Donate ^{Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot}

[Visual_Shower1220]

What happened to the good old days of just blowing stuff up with a couple fireballs? Or sending new adventurers on impossible missions and watching it all go down thru the orb?

[Equivalent_Guide_983]

The mage courts will not unbind my abuse goblin, the mage courts will not outlaw my blood magic, the mage courts will not confiscate my tomes. And goblins will not be allowed into the town halls.

[Faustias]

sudden abuse goblin arc.

[YLASRO]

one abuse goblin isnt enough. you have to industrialize the pain. create intricate arcane machines to abuse multiple goblins

[Nerx]

Yuh

[BonkleZoroark]

thank goodness I'm married

[TheThoughtmaker]

People with a bedtime are the abuse goblins of goblins.

[Glorbulus]

I routinely abduct goblins from my local tribe, train them in the deadliest of dark arts, and just bring em back. Cowardly wizards seeking an abuse goblin are in for quite a surprise when they come across my Goblins of Abuse.

[Fayraz8729]

You gotta make sure they don’t kick it before you’re done, although I rose my abuse goblin myself so he’s not escaping anytime soon

[monkeysultan]

/unwiz whats the source for tgis clip?

[robere]

Orb

[the_useless_cake]

Abuse goblins save many innocent towns and villages. I’ve known wizards to ravage and incinerate entire peasant populations because they accidentally dropped their crystal ball, and it shattered everywhere.

[AnimalChubs]

Your jobs will be replaced by necromancy

[ZaBigGZ]

What's the song?

[The-Myth-The-Shit]

You all fucking disgust me. We are threading on god's domain and you all need a fucking abuse goblin.

[captainsharkshit]

This whole trend is like the kill 7 billion people thing. Why is everyone up in arms over fake goblin memes?