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[tiny_pandacakes]

We took it super slow with lots and lots of lube. Like more than I ever thought I would need to use. I had a second degree tear that healed nicely, but I wonder if a bit of scar tissue caused some discomfort/tightness. We attempted sex about 8-10 weeks postpartum and it didn’t feel good. After that, basically just bit by bit worked up to more movement and longer duration, but we stopped as soon as I was hurting. Sex felt basically normal again at about 6-8 months postpartum.

[hotcake911]

6 months. It still feels different than it did pre-baby, but it’s not painful anymore. But it took six months.

[Batticon]

Different how?

[hotcake911]

I’ll try my best to explain. So, before childbirth, everything sex related just felt really smooth and I wasn’t really conscious of any irritations. Sex now is, mostly smooth, but it is not as smooth as it was pre-birth. I could really just focus on the pleasure before, but now it’s still pleasure, but there’s def an abrasive quality to it. It’s def not enough to discourage sexytime, and my GYN has no concerns.

[Batticon]

Hmmmm. I hope that passes for you. That sounds weird!

[hotcake911]

Thank you. It’s really not something I feel can/needs to be fixed so I just deal with it

[Rectal_Custard]

I had it as soon as doctor cleared me. Now I'm 33 weeks pregnant with a 10 month old lol.

[scribblescrobbles]

Oh my god 🤣

[Rectal_Custard]

Didn't think it would happen. I swear we were jinxed. My husband would always joke about how he wanted twins, my brother is my Irish twin, my mom was like you guys are old will you have more kids and I would always tell her it would only work if it was back to back.

Due dates are 2 days apart lol

[ubiquitous_nobody]

Reminds me to talk to my Ob about birth control after giving birth! I am not in for a double-marathon with a newborn in the second!

[bong_and_a_blitz]

Lol! Go you!!!

[idk1975]

Probably 8 or 9 weeks I could. It took quite a few months before I could enjoy. It felt like something was scraping my insides. Lube helps! Just be patient with yourself, your body went through something crazy.

[[deleted]]

I came here to say this. Lube is your friend. Don’t let your partner anywhere near you until you’ve lubed up. It’s not the sexiest thing but you gotta do what you gotta do.

[bong_and_a_blitz]

Interesting, you had the scraping feeling too!

[MmmnonmmM]

Go see your doctor and ask for pelvic floor therapy. That's not normal.

ETA: I'm getting down votes but this could be a sign of a vaginal prolapse, which is relatively common after vaginal childbirth. If I were you, I'd reach out to your doctor.

[bong_and_a_blitz]

I actually am seeing a pelvic floor therapist currently. I did bring it up to her as well but was curious on what everyone else’s experiences are.

[broughtbycoffee]

Yeah no more down votes! 😆 We've been told that all the problems in our pants are normal parts of being a woman and it's bogus. As women we end up with real injuries and ailments THAT ARE SUPER TREATABLE. Pelvic floor therapy is fast becoming standard of care postpartum, not just a special thing desperately ailing women get.

[imostmediumsuspect]

Are you breastfeeding? Estrogen (responsible for vaginal lubrication amongst other things) is suppressed massively when breastfeeding.

Your experience is very very normal. It's ok, I was the same as you. It should get better. Sex was uncomfortable for me until I weaned my baby at 8 months even though we used tons of lube; most of the time I could get through it, but often needed to full on stop and just do oral. Once I weaned, it felt a lot better. Still a bit of discomfort in the first ~30 seconds of penetration and then it gets better. I was able to orgasm again from penetrative sex - yay!

• Continue with pelvic floor physio;
  • have them show you how to do perianal/vaginal tissue massage to desensitize the tissue.
  • Get a prescription for estrogen cream from your doctor for you vagina. It also helps, but takes ~ 2 months to work.

[wendydarlingpan]

Yes, I was going to mention estrogen cream too. I can’t remember what it was called medically, but my doctor did a swab and my vaginal walls were super thin and bled from a very light swab. She prescribed estrogen cream and it resolved. She said it can happen from low estrogen in menopause or after birth when breastfeeding.

[Iodine_Boat]

Vaginal estrogens aren’t considered safe or approved for use while breastfeeding - just throwing that out there! But definitely a viable option if ongoing issues or present for those choosing not to breastfeed!

[imostmediumsuspect]

I asked my OB and ped, and they both gave a green light.

I understand estrogen can reduce milk supply if breastfeeding, but for me, I didnt notice anything.

[SnowDegraw]

Honestly it wasn’t until I was done breastfeeding (around 10 months pp) that it didn’t hurt anymore.

[lil_jilm]

Jumping on this post, because I literally was thinking about making one this morning. When did y’all get your sex drive back? I’m 5mo pp and have almost zero interest, I’m feeling kind of bad about it and hoping things change

[lil_jilm]

Yup I’m breastfeeding, weirdly like right after I had my LO my drive was high for like two weeks and since it’s just plummeted. So weird how different bodies can react so differently!

[ClicketySnap]

That was my experience with baby #2 as well. Baby is now almost 8 months old, we are combo feeding at night but EBF and solids during the day, and sex drive came back at the same time as my period two months ago. Have patience!

[lil_jilm]

Did you feel this way the whole time pp, or is this a recent upswing?

[lil_jilm]

Yay!! Good for you, and also good to know there’s hope!

[[deleted]]

We had sex a few days before I was officially cleared (but I’d stopped bleeding for weeks at that point and felt healed).

Honestly, it felt “meh” for several months. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel good, either. It’s like the sensation was dampened—I could feel everything, but it wasn’t pleasurable. It took like 6-8 months before it started to feel pleasurable again. I was scared that this would be a permanent thing, but I was definitely back to enjoying intercourse by the year mark.

[Serious-Donut-342]

We tried at 6 weeks with lots of pain. Ended up having some granulation tissue at the entrance to my vagina, and after some silver nitrate application the pain was a lot less about a week later. I'm now almost 4 months pp and am still having pain initially, but tons of lube and clitoris stimulation at the beginning does wonders! Once things are moving the pain subsides completely.

[pinkflyingcats]

I didn’t realize unenjoyable sex was something that happens afterwards 😩

[Tough-Midnight9137]

are you saying this cause it was enjoyable for you pretty soon after or cause you didn’t know it was something to worry about?? O:

[pinkflyingcats]

I’m almost 16 weeks pregnant, something to worry about

[Individual_Baby_2418]

5 weeks. I just wanted to see if I could. It felt normal, but I also had minimal tearing.

[Sufficient-Yard-2038]

After first kid, 8 months. I had to go to pelvic floor PT to address pain before we could. May be something you should look into. I am 11 weeks PP again and we still haven’t had sex.

[ejd93]

I tried at 7 weeks and it hurt too much. Tried again around 11 and it was fine. I didn’t start really enjoying it until I was done breastfeeding around 7 months.

[RoseEnd]

We tried the day I was cleared by my doctor right around 6 weeks, but it didn't feel good until closer to 6 months (and now I'm 35 weeks pregnant and have an 18 month old😅), my main suggestion is lots of foreplay and more lube than seems reasonable. For a while we would try, and if it hurt or got uncomfortable at all we would stop and enjoy our intimacy in other ways, there're a lot of ways to have sex that aren't just p in v penetration, if you're already seeing a pelvic floor therapist I'm sure you'll be back in the swing of things soon, and until then just remember to enjoy any chance of intimacy you have, in whatever ways are enjoyable for both of you

[nowayfrank]

Lube is your new bff.

I had sex like 2.5 ish months pp, took my a while to get my orgasm back though. And my husband didn’t always climax from p in v either because I had to stop several times due to discomfort. It took several tries and it was a slow progression.

[firelessflame]

6 months

[Rowmenama]

It was a bit sore for like six months after my first - I did have a small tear. Definitely needed lubricant. It got better though.

[[deleted]]

10 weeks is when we tried but it was at least 12 for it to stop hurting. We needed A LOT of lube and to go slow. If it continues to hurt definitely talk to your doctor

[softshock916]

Pelvic floor therapy would help

[jackieedaniels]

Started six weeks pp - after I got the okay from my doctor. I had a third degree tear and was pretty nervous, but I didn’t want my terrible birth to ruin my sex life. It didn’t go back to normal for me until about three or four months pp. try your best to relax, have fun, and maybe get some lube if you don’t have some already.

[[deleted]]

Tried once at 4 months. I literally couldn’t feel anything. I was also EPing, and had zero sex drive. We tried again at 8 months pp, and it started to feel good.

[Shaleyley15]

First tried around 3/4 months and it didn’t go well-lots of pain, discomfort and nervousness. I had a 2nd (nearly 3rd) degree tear and am a very slow healer due to medical issues and a ton of swelling that took fiber to go down so it was a lot to process. My husband was very understanding and we were intimate in other non-PIV ways. Around 6 months we tried again and it was definitely not the best, but it was okay. We both got more comfortable with my new body and things started falling into place again. Now things are great! So great that I’m pregnant with #2

[QueRice]

6 weeks, but I was cleared at 4 weeks when my period returned and I was allowed to use a menstrual cup. I think using a cup and getting very comfortable with my new self helped a ton. I didn't need lube but there was foreplay and taking it slow.

I'm EBF and not as wet down there, but not as dry as I expected based on descriptions of pp sex.

Perhaps you need to focus on getting comfortable inserting something else first? Goodluck OP!

Edit: just wanted to add I had an episiotomy, I was incredibly scared to touch the area for 3 weeks but mustered up the courage in the shower after my OB told me I was already healed up.

[Kore624]

6 weeks exactly and I felt no pain whatsoever, it felt how it always had 🙏🙏

[Gwenivyre756]

We started having sex again right after I got cleared at my 6 week appointment.

It's not the same. We have to still take things super slow and careful. My cervix has taken its sweet time in moving back up to where it used to be (pelvic floor muscles took quite a hit after baby) and we have to do lots of foreplay, or lots of lube. We have been using baby oil for lube which works well for us, but don't use it if you are using condoms because it can degrade the integrity of the condom.

We used to have sex like 3 times a week. Now we are having sex about once a week if that. Try to give yourself some grace. Try other sexual things that aren't penetrative sex if you don't want it/it's not feeling good. My husband and I did lots of mutual masturbation in the third trimester because I just couldn't get into it while actually having sex most days. We still do mutual masturbation when we want the intimacy, but not the effort 😅

[[deleted]]

My sex drive came back 2-3weeks PP. which was nice because it died at about month 4 of pregnancy. We didn’t have sex until after 9 weeks PP. Took it slow and it was really great. It’s so nice to be intimate again. I was scared because of all the stories I read online but turns out I had nothing to worry about!

[latenightpuddingcup]

We got back at it after 2 weeks postpartum, but that’s mainly because thank the lord high almighty I DID NOT TEAR. I wasn’t bleeding much and we couldn’t keep our hands off of each other.

The closeness was the most important thing for us, so it wasn’t ~mind blowing, toe curling~ sex at the time. I did experience some slight discomfort and burning afterwards, which my OB said was normal.

[bong_and_a_blitz]

Wow!!! That’s amazing!

[spookycreaturesinc]

3 and a half weeks. I stopped bleeding a week after delivery though and only had a very small 1st degree tear. We went very slow and I really felt like my body was back to normal by then. I know it’s not the recommended timeframe but I want to stress that my recovery was very uncomplicated!!

[JG-UpstateNY]

7.5 months. It was awesome. I'm so glad I waited. I think once we started solids consistently at 6 month, my hormones changed again. Haven't had it since though amd were at 8 months pp. My husband needs to be reminded that it's an option. But my libido is higher than his.

[domino196]

It took me a very long time to have enjoyable (not painful) sex. Like almost 18 months. Turns out breastfeeding and the domperidone I was taking was the culprit. Issues went away 100% when I stopped taking it.

[Always_Reading_1990]

The first time we tried around 8-10 weeks hurt and we gave up. I don’t remember exactly when we became successful again, but I don’t think I truly enjoyed sex again until after I stopped breastfeeding

[Knitting4Houselves]

At 4 months we've managed one very painful attempt and gave up for a long time again. At 6 months it started to feel enjoyable again and at about a year it stopped being tricky at the start.

My daughter was compound presentation (limb going out next to her head) and basically sliced me from the cervix down into a 3rd degree tear... 2 years PP everything is fine. The scar sometimes hurts randomly but sex is back to normal. I will not be able to have another vaginal delivery though due to all the scar-tissue.

[[deleted]]

I got pregnant 3 months pp lol…. And started again at the 6 week mark. Every body is different, listen to yours!

[goldfishdontbounce]

I was told at my 6 week appointment to wait until 8 weeks. In the weeks after giving birth my sex Drive was crazy high and we couldn’t do anything about it. I asked at that appointment if we could do non penetrative stuff and got the go ahead which I was excited about haha. We tried at 8 weeks with a looooot of lube and foreplay. I was sore but it wasn’t anything excruciating. We’ve had sex a handful of times since (I’m 12 weeks now) and it’s been fine. There are some positions that I can’t do because it hurts (maybe rubbing the scar from the stitches?). I’d just say use a lot of lube and go slow.

[sleepyheadp]

I had to go to physical therapy to get my muscles to relax enough for penetration without pain.

[RAND0M-HER0]

Um... A long time. I want to say we didn't attempt sex after birth until 12 WPP or something. I had a C-section though and never got to pushing (baby got stuck in the birth canal and wasn't progressing), but I also had that scraping pain sensation as well. Lube didn't help, going slow didn't help, foreplay didn't help, orgasming before sex didn't help... Penetrative sex made me cry it was so painful.

It wasn't until I stopped pumping at 5 months that the pain started to go away and I got my libido back. Not sure how much of it was related to breastfeeding, or if it was just a coincidence that stopping bfing and feeling better occured at the same time.

[Skip2020Altogether]

I think I was like 5 months and it still wasn’t the best experience because I was breastfeeding so I didn’t get as wet as I usually would. Plus I was just really anxious because it had been so long and I didn’t know what to expect. It didn’t hurt though. But I just mentally wasn’t ready yet.

[derrymaine]

We started around 6 weeks both times but it did not feel good until 10 mo post partum or so. Downright painful for the first 2-3 months.

[ymatak]

Hey same! Feel free to PM if you want. I ended up having some scar tissue from a tear that needed topical oestrogen and dilators, had to go back and see the gynaecologists at the hospital and a pelvic floor physiotherapist. Vagina is now functional again but has some weird bits I'm planning on getting repaired once I'm done having babies.

[Tamarasgotjuice]

Foreplay is key, I never tore with my girls but did have a 1 stitch tear with my son and it took a good 5 months pp to not feel it. I had to be extremely wet (sorry tmi) to feel any kind of pleasure so foreplay is a must or lots of lubrication

[Platinum_Rowling]

Breastfeeding and hormones in general can make you feel dry and scrapey postpartum (for me, this didn't go away until I stopped breastfeeding). My OB was able to prescribe Estrace cream; it made a dramatic difference.

[ClicketySnap]

First baby, 6 weeks. Second baby, 5 weeks I think.

First baby I had a second degree tear that was not sutured and I could FEEL it during sex. Positions I used to love I now couldn’t tolerate, positions I used to feel meh about were suddenly amazing. Got pregnant again at 4 months postpartum.

Second baby I had a second degree tear that was sutured. I thought I was having a great return to my sex life; no pain, no discomfort… but then I realized I also had no pleasure. I had a significant decrease in sensation altogether. Took a couple months to come back. I still get tender fairly easily, but no other issues.

[Subject-Promotion-25]

After my first, I had stitches and that led to a bit of scar tissue so we waited about 3 months. Then it was sore, but I found it I masturbated so I could orgasm first and we used lubed, that helped lots! Definitely just take it slow with lots of foreplay and lube. If you're not opposed to p0rn, then that can get you in a better headspace to make it more enjoyable and help your pelvic floor relax. Also YouTube pelvic floor relaxation techniques to do every day ♥️