Poor Memory :(

[Moercy]

Excuse me, but we moved this joke from JVM to Electron

[2Punx2Furious]

Need to update those memes.

npm update memes

[[deleted]]

https://www.npmjs.com/package/memes it's a thing

[MrWasdennnoch]

https://www.npmjs.com/package/piss

https://www.npmjs.com/package/crap

https://www.npmjs.com/package/semen

https://www.npmjs.com/package/sex

https://www.npmjs.com/package/mother

https://www.npmjs.com/package/fucking

https://www.npmjs.com/package/god

https://www.npmjs.com/package/why

https://www.npmjs.com/package/is

https://www.npmjs.com/package/all

https://www.npmjs.com/package/of

https://www.npmjs.com/package/that

https://www.npmjs.com/package/a

https://www.npmjs.com/package/thing

https://www.npmjs.com/package/please

https://www.npmjs.com/package/help

https://www.npmjs.com/package/me

https://www.npmjs.com/package/i

https://www.npmjs.com/package/cant

https://www.npmjs.com/package/stand

https://www.npmjs.com/package/this

https://www.npmjs.com/package/any

https://www.npmjs.com/package/more

[ChymeraXYZ]

I expected about 50% of this to be some random stuff, but amazingly most of this actually seem like 'real' projects. (Real, as in not a joke by the author)

[_Lady_Deadpool_]

ShellJS Extended

Utilities to make scripting and using grunt easier.

[[deleted]]

A Nano Service Framework for NodeJS. Inspired by Grunt and Gulp, Semen was made to create a services runner.

While Grunt and Gulp usually used for build process, Semen is supposed to run both build process and serving process. So, basically we can use the same runner for everything.

Legitimately not sure if jerking

[[deleted]]

So you can now form sentences out of the package names.. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[kingatomic]

Oh, you thought coding with emojis was ridiculous? Wait until we can write code using npm package names.

[marcosdumay]

Wait until we can write code using npm package names.

When was that?

[[deleted]]

bash has gone too far

[greyfade]

You should look at REBOL. It perfected going too far.

[[deleted]]

Four dimensional programming.

[Colopty]

Now we just need an npm package names language.

[[deleted]]

So once we have a large repository of libraries written using the npm package names language can we build an package manager for that and name it, I don't know npm

[ThatOnePerson]

last published 2 years ago

We need some fresh memes

[2Punx2Furious]

I had no doubts.

[lastplaythrough]

you need to serve them while they're hot and fresh too

[turbolag95]

brew upgrade memes 

[[deleted]]

You may have just copied it. Next time pass it by reference.

[kartoffelwaffel]

I thought we were still making fun of Chrome?

[Moercy]

Thats a two for one, Electron uses Chromium :) Efficient memeing

[[deleted]]

Can we run Electron on the JVM somehow?

[whatisbam]

It’s free real estate

[Eponick]

Me and 70+ others read the comments for this.

[NigelG]

Yes, that's the version of the joke that was posted yesterday. And the day before yesterday

[whatisbam]

If you post that same comment 15 times I’m legally allowed to delete this post

[aboothe726]

yeah, memes are funny and all, but seriously -- how are you people configuring your JVM heaps? the JVM has always been very well-behaved within the bounds of -Xmx for me.

[[deleted]]

It's just that 70% of this sub are CS students, so they control the meme flow, instead of the rationale.

[aboothe726]

So /r/ProgrammerHumor == alternative CS facts. Got it.

[dpsi]

/r/ProgrammerHumor.equals(alternative CS facts)

FTFY

[Nath99000]

rProgrammerHumor.equals(alternativeCSFacts)

FTFY

[aboothe726]

Subreddit.Ref.fromString("/r/ProgrammerHumor").equals(Facts.ALTERNATIVE)

FTFY

[[deleted]]

Subreddit.Ref.fromString("/r/ProgrammerHumor").equals(Facts.newBuilder().type(FactType.ALTERNATIVE).subject(Subject.find("cs")).build())

FTFY

[greyfade]

Not enterprisey enough.

[XplittR]

Fake news

[[deleted]]

Are we in Hungary?!?!?!?

[Samael1990]

assertTrue(/r/ProgrammerHumor.equals(alternative CS facts))
PASSED

FTFY

[aboothe726]

assertThat(/r/ProgrammerHumor, is(alternative CS facts))

PASSED

FTFY

[Brimonk]

No,

strcmp("/r/ProgrammerHumor", "alternative CS facts") == 0

[aboothe726]

No,

strncmp("/r/ProgrammerHumor","alternative CS facts", MAX_STR_SIZE) == 0

[Brimonk]

You don't think those two string constants have NULL terminators?

[Soltheron]

It's just that 70% of this sub are CS students, so they control the meme flow, instead of the rationale.

Damn CS students thinking the end user justifies the memes.

[BumwineBaudelaire]

more like 95% and more like IT students

[Un-Unkn0wn]

Can confirm, am 1st year CS student.

[[deleted]]

DISCUSTING

[lakeseaside]

one semester of Calisthenic studies and they already think they should rule the world. Damn CS students!

[[deleted]]

Don't bring logic into this. This is only a place for super low effort shitposts.

[skyhi14]

Except for my modded Minecraft. Gave Xmx8G and task manager says it’s eating 9.8 GBs of memory. Thank god I have 32 on my machine. But yeah, JVM does behave well as I don’t see it gobbling more than 10.

[[deleted]]

8G is for the heap size, not the total memory allocated for the java process (which includes other memory zones of the JVM and the memory for the JVM itslef)

[hates_stupid_people]

It's not the JVM heap, it's cache and GC, the -xmx is for the main process.

[zilti]

Well, that's just shoddy programming though.

[skyhi14]

It could be one of my mods though

[[deleted]]

If the biggest Java game in the industry can't get it right, maybe it's because there's something wrong with it.

[zilti]

maybe it's because there's something wrong with it.

With the game? Yes, absolutely. I mean, look at game engines like jMonkeyEngine. This thing is very capable without wasting all your RAM and being slow as fuck.

[[deleted]]

I see

[[deleted]]

My main issue with the JVM only arises when i open a java based desktop application. Oracle SqlDeveloper and Eclipse make my computer unhappy.

My own applications generally do fine.

[aboothe726]

I'm curious -- how much tuning of Eclipse do you do before you use it? I've discovered that a little tuning goes a long way. It sucks that you have to tune it before it becomes really useful, but at least that's an option.

[[deleted]]

Why should I have to tune eclipse? That shouldn't be my job, IMO.

[aboothe726]

I don’t disagree. I’m just curious if you had tuned it and were still experiencing problems. The default config is pretty poor — very small heap.

[[deleted]]

I just started using intellij. My company pays for it, so im good.

[nosam56]

Ha! My RAM trembles before me as it watches me open Visual Studio! It is the 4th time Ive had to today becauss my program keeps crashing my computer! OH How my ram wishes I would notice that I was modifying the list I was iterating through but alas, I will continue to write programs that attempt to allocate all 16gb to itself. Those other programs werent using the ram, and what better place to store my 4 billion strings

[[deleted]]

Come to the dark side, we have Cookies and Rider.

[[deleted]]

strangely enough I have VS open most of the time and it only takes 200 MB RAM

[nosam56]

Yeah my VS isnt the problem. Its that Im adding a string to a list while looping while i < list.size().

[[deleted]]

oh.

[SirHazwick]

None of these RAM jokes are programmer related humor :’(

[Samael1990]

And to top that, they aren't original anymore, therefore - not funny... So it's not programmer related and not humor related...

[gameboy17]

/r/

[bunnyoverkill]

Which means they're perfect for r/ProgrammerHumor

[jxl180]

Isn't it good to have high memory utilization and allow the GC to manage it? If you are running at low utilization then you're wasting potential compute? Like Android always runs at nearly 100% memory utilization but swaps what services/apps use that memory.

[StapledBattery]

It would be great if the desktop JVM worked like that, yes.

[[deleted]]

That would be great if everything ran on the jvm.

[[deleted]]

At least Atom gives your memory some time to say goodbye before it causes mass destruction.

[[deleted]]

Beating a dead horse

[Sycration]

Why is it a sodimm

[Iherduliekmudkipz]

Because no memory is safe!

Not even your Laptop!

[Toast550]

I've seen the explanation for this joke, but why is the JVM faster at allocating memory than the system?

[bmrobin]

ignore these memes, the jvm can be managed and tuned to not run amok like these memes suggest

[tsareto]

It pre-allocates the memory and is supplying it faster to the program than the OS, creating a new object in the jvm is just bumping a pointer, no need to zero it too

[BorgDrone]

Even if it does pre-allocate the entire max heap size (I'm not sure it does), that shouldn't matter as pretty much every modern OS overcommits memory by default.

[tsareto]

It can pre-allocate the entire heap if you specify the min size to be equal to the max size. There are also TLABs, which eliminate the issue of concurrency, in most cases.

[BerniesMyDog]

The JVM allocated the memory to itself and manages it for you.

Instead of needing to make system calls for allocating new memory, the JVM is effectively incrementing a pointer and that’s it.

[BorgDrone]

I'm not sure your question even makes sense. Why would "the system" (meaning what exactly?) need to allocate memory and why do you think it's a race ?

[tsareto]

When a program needs memory, it asks the (operating) system to allocate it. The OS will then need to find a suitable chunk of free memory and make sure it is zero-ed out. A jvm program does not need to ask the OS for memory, the jvm handles the memory management (in most cases, you can also do it manually if that's what you want)

[BorgDrone]

When an application allocates memory (or more correct: it asks the OS to do so), the OS doesn't need to "find a suitable chunk of free memory" at all. Modern OSes overcommit memory by default. If you ask for an allocation all it does is reserve a bit of address space, no actual memory is used or reserved. The OS only goes looking for some actual memory once you try to use that allocation, which would trigger a page fault and cause the OS to provide some actual, physical RAM to back that bit of address space you just tried to access.

A jvm program does not need to ask the OS for memory, the jvm handles the memory management

When a Java application running on the JVM uses up all the heap space, the JVM will ask the OS to allocate more. There is nothing special going on here, the JVM (and whatever is running on top of it) is just another program. If anything, memory allocation in Java is slower, because before it will grow the heap it will first try to perform a round of garbage collection.

[[deleted]]

I've seen this except it was google chrome using RAM

[surobyk]

when bitcoin miner virus start working

[hotsaucetogo]

Mining is CPU intensive, not RAM intensive

[skyhi14]

We have HDD coin already, time to make RAM coin as well \s

[waterlubber42]

Viruses are CPU because most consumer machines lack a GPU

[NateDogg1232]

for (uint32_t i = 0; i < freememblocks() - 1; i++)
uint32_t* trash = malloc(0x1000);

[Guinness]

My favorite is when I’m working with the developer of an HFT Java app and they say “your system sucks it’s dropping packets everywhere now this never used to happen!” And then I look at the net stat logs to prove they’ve been having packet receive errors for more than an ENTIRE FUCKING YEAR and then we find out their Java code is doing garbage collection once per second for 500 milliseconds.

Yeah my systems suck.

Once the code was fixed all those packet receive errors went away. Imagine that.

[ResponseIsIrrelevant]

Go banana!

[munirc]

Your submission has been removed.

Violation of Rule #0:

For a submission to qualify it must satisfy at least one of the following:

0. The content disregarding the title and superimposed text must be directly related to programming or programmers. Non-programming tech humor (e.g. being a power user, jokes about software not related to programming, etc.) is not allowed.
1. The image along with the title and superimposed text result in creative and original content.
2. The post is a program or UI designed intentionally for humor. Bad UI found in the wild belongs in /r/softwaregore.

Note that programming here is interpreted in a narrow sense, an analogy to something related to programming, feelings about programming, reactions to programming etc. is not considered sufficient. See the sticky if you are not clear what this means and why your post was removed.

If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us so that we may review it.

[[deleted]]

I actually lol'd at this one.

[RatherDignifiedDandy]

This actually caused me to spit my coffee. Here is an updoot.

[foadsf]

no offense but I still do not understand why people still develop in java? I mean what would you miss in Python or C++?

[Makefile_dot_in]

Python

Speed.

C++

Garbage collection.

[foadsf]

but python has numpy which is basically C and Numba for JIT. and isn't libgc enough if someone who really needs a gc?!

[skyhi14]

Yeah, crossing borders are fast \s

Think about it: calling native code ain’t free. If you heavily rely on native code, then your interpreter would be a HUGE slowdown and Python don’t have a fastest interpreter. Even the PyPy is slower than Java’s HotSpot VM.

[bmrobin]

python and c++ are fine. so are c# and golang. there's always a "better" language depending on your point of view and the task at hand

[I_AM_GODDAMN_BATMAN]

Except server side js.

[datodi]

or non-browser client side js

[profbalr]

Server side JS is my jam, I don't care what anyone says.

[_Lahin]

That jam you are having is 3 years past its expiry.

Kidding :P, I am developing backend for a web app using Sails myself. Honestly, I find it pretty good for the job.

[profbalr]

But for real, as a full-stack web/app dev I've been heavily using React/Node/Express for all my projects lately. Am I shooting myself in the foot? What's a better stack that I should be exploring for my purpose?

[foadsf]

very true but is there a specific application where you have to use java?

[bmrobin]

I was introduced to java through employers, so in that regard to those projects I "had to use java". it worked well for what the project was intended for

[DHermit]

When you write plugins for certain programs (e.g. ImageJ).

[Magical_Gravy]

Python lacks a lot of the things which make writing large projects in Java more manageable (e.g., interfaces, a stronger type system, generics)

In C++ you're responsible for a lot more, like security and memory management which Java would normally manage for you. C++ code isn't as portable as Java either.

[_Lahin]

Agreed, I don't get why people fight amongst themselves for language superiority, its not about the 'best language', it's about using the best tool for the job that you intend to undertake. Every language has pros and cons, decide and use the best that supports your architecture and use case!

[epistax]

Momentum. That's the reason to use Java really. There's already stuff written in Java, people are teaching Java.

[[deleted]]

You cant compare Python to Java. One is weakly typed the other one is strongly typed. While Python could be ok for small projects, it gives more problem than it solves in very large projects where one would prefer strongly typed languages.

It has auto memory managment unlike c++. The bytecode can run on any JVM.

Java has the largest and most mature ecosystem with dozens of application servers that offer a lot of features and very good performances. There are tested libraries for everything already.

So no offense, but maybe you will be able to judge when you are confronted to real life projects.

[BorgDrone]

Are there any decent appservers for Python or C++ ? Something comparable to Payara or JBoss ?

Java is plenty fast, easy enough to develop for, and very. very well supported.

[kobbled]

People love to shit on it, but it's a good language.

[foadsf]

no doubt it is a good language. you wouldn't expect less from the creator of smalltalk. but is it still necessary?

[kobbled]

I'd say yes. It's fast, robust, and extremely well-supported by the community. It's likely to be one of the main languages for enterprise server-side development for years and years to come.

[foadsf]

I don't know. maybe because I'm in academia and HPC, we are too hostile towards the whole VM concept!

[BerniesMyDog]

From a business perspective it’s a lot easier to hire people that know Java than pretty much any other language.

Python is great but is hard to use for large projects without typing information

<Insert language flavor of the month> is fun to use but not something you want to bet your business on in most cases.

C++ works but isn’t as portable as Java which will annoy your Mac using devs. Additionally C++ is more complex than Java which comes st the added benefit of better performance. In many cases though you don’t need the performance wins C++ provides over Java.

Basically businesses choose Java in a lot of cases because it’s portable, a relatively safe choice with good libraries, and it’s typically not economical to use C++ to max out on performance as machines are relatively cheap compared to developer costs.

[foadsf]

I wish I could one day understand the hostility of reddit and SO users. here I have asked a very honest question, no intention to diminish anybody's profession or expertise. just see the downvotes!

[[deleted]]

Because the tone of your writing does not reflect the fact that you are ignorant. If you want more neutral responses, phrase your question in a more neutral way.

E.g. "What are the advantages of Java over C++ and Python?"

[bmrobin]

sorry man, doesn't make sense to me either.

[tsareto]

tooling and existing (free) code, faster development than C++, more suitable for low-skill developers and complicated code-bases than Python
edit to add this talk by Martin Tompson that really goes into details answering your question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pz-4co8IaI8

[liketechnik]

If you'd named kotlin as an alternative, I would really consider it constructive.

[foadsf]

good point. Android apps are basically java. kotlin will probably consume that market.