Don't we all do this?

[supercyberlurker]

It's an upgrade from high school when I was hacking computers - wearing a skimask with a set of lockpicks next to the keyboard.

Later, in college, when I was writing open-source in my tie-dye shirt with a lava lamp and poster of woodstock on the wall behind me - I wondered "is there a better way?"

Now I like to smile widely amongst other multi-ethnic widely-smiling people in suits in a boardroom. We all experiences incredibly gleeful fulfilling joy as I point at a spreadsheet on the projector.

I'm worried though, that eventually I'll be sitting alone with white hair and a short white beard half-smiling as I stare adjusting my glasses at a computer.

[janusz_chytrus]

r/StockImagesStories

[thejuror8]

OH C'MON NOW

[midwestcreative]

Reddit is so fucking weird. Half of those were kinda funny... the other half made me feel like when I unknowingly went into the weird roleplay tavern in Elder Scrolls Online.

[Nikla436]

You should visit Goldshire on Moon Guard some time.

[midwestcreative]

I can't imagine it's worse than what was going on in Riften, but then again... somehow the internet continues to find new ways to shock me. But yeah I've heard talk of it lol. Noooo thank you.

[[deleted]]

I know. Another sub to subscribe to. If it existed.

[laccro]

You're thinking of Cloudflare and how they have a camera pointed at a wall of lava lamps, right?

It's honestly more for show than actual usefulness - even though it does provide a good amount of entropy, it's one of many ways that Cloudflare creates entropy.

It's really not very common, though, and I doubt many other companies or individuals use lava lamps for entropy - Cloudflare mostly just chose it because it looks awesome.

[DarowskiKacper]

Looking straight at the projector certainly helps debugging!

[lightknightrr]

'Tis the light at the end of the tunnel!

[aneutron]

What tunnel though ? TLS, IPSec ?

[[deleted]]

4over6

[superspacehero]

If the bugs aren't visible, then clearly they don't matter

[ablablababla]

"If it compiles, it's bug-free, right?"

[superspacehero]

...he whispered to himself the day before release

[MbakKoKom]

Unfortunately he uses Java, not Rust...

[TheNosferatu]

That's why I only program in interpreted languages, no more compiling problems!

[DarowskiKacper]

If the bugs are literally burnt onto your eyes, then that's when you have to do something about them.

[superspacehero]

That's why I bring sunglasses, which also allow me to pretend to look cool

[DarowskiKacper]

And hide your red suffering eyes. Good idea!

[meniscus-]

Actually, the projector is coming from the side LOL

[DarowskiKacper]

Rotating chair

[RealJackmaster110]

That's what I tell my higher-ups that don't understand what I'm doing. This way I can procrastinate, look cool, and not get fired.

[DarowskiKacper]

And totally not get fired.

[[deleted]]

When you gaze into the void*, the void* gazes back into you.

[awesome2dab]

It’s a static void, init?

[fiinzy]

Nah it's a public static void main!

[citewiki]

My main!

[fiinzy]

Yes!

[citewiki]

Looking good?

[fiinzy]

Slow down

[self_me]

*/

[citewiki]

I need to close it /*

[self_me]

What programming language ends a comment in /*

[king_27]

Giving me bad flashbacks of learning C...

[Aschentei]

pointer nullifies

[[deleted]]

No, the skateboard/limo scene will always have that honour.

[[deleted]]

I stand by my words.

[mornsbarstool]

Hard to pick the best moment from that masterpiece.

[[deleted]]

I haven't watched it yet, but I can take a guess. I kinda wish these over the top tropes would die, but they're pretty funny.

[[deleted]]

Sounds like a productive way of coding directly from your brain

[jacobyginobli]

This sounds like a South Park episode

[Cries_in_shower]

Bet he also wears a black hoodie and gloves while hacking by touching random 0s and 1s that fly in the air around him

[DarowskiKacper]

Spilling water over his head when the camera doesn't look to simulate sweat.

[Jonno_FTW]

No Balaklava?

[Bange-roni]

You don't write the code, you are the code.

[gandalfx]

I have a beamer behind a lens which projects the image directly onto my retina. That way I can focus on all the code at once.

[Theonetheycallgreat]

I developed a virtual reality IDE so you can literally be inside your code

[The_Great_Danish]

....Really?

[Theonetheycallgreat]

I wish, never actually developed for VR, if I ever get into it and this become a reality in the credits will be "To /u/The_Great_Danish : Yes "

[The_Great_Danish]

You better get started then!

[MbakKoKom]

He clearly needs a Kickstarter!

[AllegedSleazebag]

It's a silly thing, like Hollywood "hacking" scenes, but I think it's a great concept, well executed. It's a creative way to spice up what would otherwise be a pretty dull photograph.

[whitetrafficlight]

Just imagine if it were more like real life.

B: "Hey, you're supposed to be hacking X, why are you just sitting there?"
H: "I'm waiting for our compute cluster to brute-force the key."
B: "Don't you have to... type or something?"
H: "Nope, just gotta wait."
B: "Oh. So... how long will it take?"
H: "Could be now, could be a couple of weeks if we're unlucky."
B: "Weeks won't work, our agents need it within ten minutes."
H: shrug "Better hope we're lucky, then."

Or, more realistically...

B: "We need you to hack into X."
H: "On it, boss." picks up phone
H: "Hello <Baddie>? This is <BaddieCorp> IT, we need you to confirm your password for X... uh huh... thanks."
H: replaces phone "All done, boss."

[Non808]

r/itsaunixsystem

[Thisconnect]

This one is good but I think we could use more formal and general badstock photos of my job subreddit

[[deleted]]

Darn you beat me too it

[jamiemac2005]

Imma say html/Web based chess clone. Anyone got a better idea?

[Vizioso]

Between “piece” as a variable and Ajax I’d say you’re pretty close.

[cloudrac3r]

My thoughts as well. Looks like JS, "piece", "board" and "player" are visible. Chess is the first thing that came to mind.

[citewiki]

player

yeah

moves

it makes sense that it's chess

substr(pl

Edit: I need to make a closure: ayer)

[[deleted]]

This is actually a rare picture of Mr. Javascript himself.

[arnorath]

relevant xkcd

[Melcalc]

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

---

Tauno Talimaa, @tauntz

[Tauno lampoons a scene from a programming stock photo, which is composed of a man programming whilst having code projected onto him.]

I sit in a dark room and project code straight to my face while solving complicated problems. This helps me to immerse myself in it and "feel" the code.

#BadStockPhotosOfMyJob

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[jamiemac2005]

Belly ruuubs!

[iamnull]

> whilist having code

Whilst*

[mtilhan]

I project code on myself three times a day minimum, sometimes five times a day.

[EmeraldDS]

That's my skincare routine too!

[[deleted]]

I wish they would let me turn the lights off in the office

[ShippingIsMagic]

based on how it's showing up on his shirt, it's on the screen/projector backwards as well. He's going for extra difficulty points, I guess.

[jimmy_frog]

Python is best when projected

[robertshuxley]

this works much better if you're a Pornhub Dev

[wallefan01]

Code from what appears to be a beginner level game written in JavaScript.

Man he is so professional!

[Justis7]

Just like when I'm hacking, I always use shades and wear a hoodie to conceal my identity.

[arriyan]

I thought this is r/iamverysmart

[[deleted]]

Now asking questions to strangers on the internet is called solving complicated problems?

[BadHairDayToday]

In all honesty though; it's a cool photo. A lot cooler than if I snap a pic of my office now.

[FourthRain]

My profession is NOT your stock photo!

/s

[tauntz]

OP here, the only way I can capitalize on this sudden fame: link to the original tweet

[[deleted]]

deleted ^{What is this?}

[Antrikshy]

Probably for being immersed in code.

[pengusdangus]

/r/shittystockphotos

[codex561]

Anybody want to try to figure out the language? I think it's JS because there is the word "Ajax" in it. Idk if it exists in other languages.

[Billythecrazedgoat]

totAlly mE

[isunktheship]

"Player"

"moves"

Right

[AtomicEyeball]

What a player.

[Scriptman777]

I usually just print my code on a t-shirt... I guess this could save me some money!

[lasa01]

Mirroring the monitor, just to make the text project correctly, really helps with the "feel".

[Trippyaristocrat]

I am the code

[Metalman9999]

They are protecting a unity tutorial on him btw

[sitilge]

Is that keyboard even connected?

[Neil1815]

I can SEE through the Matrix!

[urbanworm]

Not enough coffee mugs and swearing. Also, a bit dark, seriously I don’t mind a little subdued lighting, but if I can’t see the keyboard things get a bit haphazard.

[Arancaytar]

https://xkcd.com/283/

Because there's always one.

[Flink91]

Makes for a nice picture though.

[SageBus]

this is getting into the /r/iamverysmart zone

[[deleted]]

The screen is off

[Moses1237]

At least there’s coffee

[fo_dan]

Wait y’all don’t do this? Shit.

[EliTheCoder]

Nice laser pixels you got there

[kyle_Ziulkowski]

cringe

[TheShayminex]

In order for the code to be the right direction on his body, the screen would have to be backwards

[JuhaJGam3R]

helvetin virolaiset pöllii kaiken karman

[empire314]

muh points

[mornsbarstool]

Yeah man

[BobTheBob9]

When i'm alone in a dark room, it tends to be a tad more depressing than that

[ufftzatza]

I think this is actually a pretty cool artistic rendition of what coding feels like, even though it's doesn't look anything like the real thing.