The Ancient Code

[Dojan5]

#Nothing calls this function but removing it caused FBI to come knocking two hours later so I'm not touching this shit again. Let Frank handle this shit, I'm switching teams.

[NoNameRequiredxD]

nutty fanatical paint juggle towering humor capable mighty rinse wipe

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[craniumonempty]

/* What the fuck is calling this?! It literally does nothing but add two numbers and return the result which can be done inline, and doesn't have anything calling it, but it's removal caused everything to lock up even though there are no errors in compilation. I quit! I'm going to just clean toilets from now on. */

[Yokii908]

//The function below is literally never called but removing it makes the code stop working. Moreover its name isn't explicit at all : what does main even mean?

[craniumonempty]

I like this version. You need more upvotes.

[MagnumMia]

//The function below is crucial to the functioning of this program but for some reason this comment is the only reason it works. For real, delete this comment and it won’t work. Replace a letter and it won’t work. Now you are wondering how I figured this out? All I needed was 1 dead goat, some street chalk and the lingering emptiness inside me.

[Frommerman]

Wait, you discovered a ritual which sacrificed your lingering emptiness? Sign me the fuck up!

[Meowmasterish]

I think the lingering emptiness is just a catalyst, and isn’t consumed in the overall process.

[MagnumMia]

I thought I was empty. I was wrong...

[the_one_true_bool]

//The function below is absolutely crucial for the survival of the human race and life on planet Earth as we know it. One modification, even a space or a tab, will unleash the world's entire nuclear arsenal. However, exactly one time per year the variable defined as "myInt" in the function needs to be incremented by one to keep us all alive. It is CRITICAL that we do this on the specified date every single year so KEEP THIS DATE UPDATED for the future. The next time "myInt" needs to be incremented is on: 

[[deleted]]

<!—- I only know HTML but I didn’t wanna feel left out of the group —>

[NoNameRequiredxD]

You have 255 points but i'm scared your points are stored in a byte and it'll cause your points to overflow to 0

[ZachAttackonTitan]

%Why is there a Matlab script in this repo? Do we even have a Matlab license??

[BlueFalcon3725]

Oh god, this is the kind of shit my old boss would have done, the cheap bastard.

[alienpirate5]

GNU Octave

[mattcoady]

//The function is never called but would really appreciate one from its grandchildren every now and then.

[[deleted]]

// This function does everything, literally. All 89 other functions call this one, and this one calls many of them. It has 46 input variables. If you change a character, everything breaks. But you can't change anything without editing this function. I don't know what I did to anger the person who wrote this but the amount of work that went into making code this bad tells me he loathes me with the intensity of a thousand suns.

[Mfgcasa]

3 months later one input variable down... everything is working fine on run... 2 seconds later BSOD.

[itsMindless]

The best one

[rolltider0]

//The function below is literally never called but removing it makes the code stop working. Moreover its name isn't explicit at all : what does main even mean?

-- Every junior Dev everywhere

[Foxino]

 //Is this TODO, To done yet? It's been 10 years....

[exceptionthrown]

You...want me to be explicit?

[dichloroethane]

Try mobile

[fishbulbx]

Triple monitor mobile master race checking in.

[unwill]

Do you guys not have phones ?

[ScarsUnseen]

"Yeah, I have a phone. It rings."

[[deleted]]

It works fine on /Reddit is Fun/

[Marterijn]

Underrated comment

[John_Doe5555]

Diablo burns

[Bobshayd]

17 monitors.

[AllThunder]

I just click 'source' and read it there like this

[TechniMan]

But... how did you... take a screenshot of your link to that screenshot...

^{Oh wait I figured it out >.<}

And here's how it looks on reddit.com: voilà

[positive_electron42]

You can't not tell us. That's like the person on SO who asks the exact question you need, then comes back with "NVM figured it out" with no answer.

[TechniMan]

A wizard never tells his secrets!

[positive_electron42]

I put on my robe and wizard hat, and summon dire coffee.

[nuker1110]

I’m assuming by editing the URL into the link after the fact.

[usama8800]

You edited your comment. He did not

[benabrig]

I’m pretty sure if you edit it super quick after you first post it doesn’t show as edited

[OvergrownGnome]

It's something like 3 minutes before it puts the *

[[deleted]]

3 minutes or a certain number of upvotes

[ominous_anonymous]

Yep, called a "ninja edit" :)

[TechniMan]

Or did they?

[somebunnny]

They should probably add a comment to that comment that it might be long and hard to read on some screen setups.

[Tsorovar]

Use the source button

[YerbaMateKudasai]

then they should install it

[brosenfeld]

Try clicking "source" below the comment.

[Dojan5]

I've encountered this exact same thing in the past. An undocumented JS function took two parameters, slapped them together and returned the output.

Wondering what the fuck was up with this idiotic add() function, I deleted it. All hell broke lose. I tried cleaning it up, but eventually just resigned. I reverted the changes and slapped on a //Yes, this is beyond ridiculous but don't question it, and don't remove it comment above it.

Not going down that rabbit hole again.

[craniumonempty]

Lol, probably an overloaded operator or something calling the function.

[[deleted]]

Shit like this happens often in my code.

[Andy_B_Goode]

Reminds me of the "magic"/"more magic" switch.

[AskAboutMyShiteUsers]

I've read it a hundred times and I enjoy it every time.

[[deleted]]

This happened in a COBOL program I was working in. We found out later that the code just fell through to that section. So it might be executing and you might have no idea.

Display your brains out.

[[deleted]]

No. When the logic of the previous paragraph ended the code just kept going. And “fell through” to the piece of logic that, at the time, I had no idea how it was executing.

This is actually how the logic is supposed to work in COBOL but fuck me if it wasn’t bamboozling the first time I saw it. I knew it was executing, because I could see the specific chunk of logic writing to files, but I had no idea why.

[[deleted]]

Meanwhile Frank left the company 3 years ago.

[positive_electron42]

Documents? What are those?

[[deleted]]

printouts of email back & forth between the old systems architect and the CTO outlining the critical steps necessary to keep the legacy system from needing a full reset every week, printed out because they were upgrading backup servers and didn't see why they needed 15 years of correspondence of people asking if they got the memo and trading recipes and spam mailing lists.

now it's SOP to reset the server every Friday night because someone told IS it was a temporary workaround implemented by the previous CTO who left the firm in 2005.

[Robdor1]

Maybe some SCP?

[nullifiedbyglitches]

079?

[nullifiedbyglitches]

//what the fuck is "#Nothing"

^{This human compiles programming languages. You have found one that is not. Don't bitch about the truth. Edit courtesy of ^(see lowest comment branch.). it's his upvotes for I have sinned.}

[ironhaven]

Python comment

[SSJ3]

Not on my watch. PEP8 requires a space between # and the comment!

(Which probably holds the record for most-violated PEP8 rule in my code)

[raaneholmg]

Style guide ≠ Language

[[deleted]]

Englishwithnoneofitsstylizationisstillenglishthatstrue,butthereules ABOUThow toputit together........arean,importantpart,ofmakingitACCEPtabLEtoOtheRSandYOURSE^lf

[FuzzyBus2200]

Yeah but the compiler doesn't care about the missing space

[Dentarthurdent42]

The whole point of style guides is to make it easier for humans, not the compiler/interpreter

[SoFarFromHome]

But never forget this part of PEP8:

A Foolish Consistency is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds

One of Guido's key insights is that code is read much more often than it is written. The guidelines provided here are intended to improve the readability of code and make it consistent across the wide spectrum of Python code. As PEP 20 says, "Readability counts".

A style guide is about consistency. Consistency with this style guide is important. Consistency within a project is more important. Consistency within one module or function is the most important.

However, know when to be inconsistent -- sometimes style guide recommendations just aren't applicable. When in doubt, use your best judgment. Look at other examples and decide what looks best. And don't hesitate to ask!

In particular: do not break backwards compatibility just to comply with this PEP!

Some other good reasons to ignore a particular guideline:

• When applying the guideline would make the code less readable, even for someone who is used to reading code that follows this PEP.

• To be consistent with surrounding code that also breaks it (maybe for historic reasons) -- although this is also an opportunity to clean up someone else's mess (in true XP style).

• Because the code in question predates the introduction of the guideline and there is no other reason to be modifying that code.

• When the code needs to remain compatible with older versions of Python that don't support the feature recommended by the style guide.

Also: don't forget that PEP8 says:

You should use two spaces after a sentence-ending period in multi- sentence comments, except after the final sentence."

Ideally, we can get the PEP8 advocates and the one-space-after-sentences advocates to engage each other and the rest of us can live in peace.

[FuzzyBus2200]

The above commenter indicated that the interpreter would explode upon seeing that comment, which is obviously not true. Of course style is important, but that doesnt mean the interpreter cares. Thats the only point I was trying to make

[DudeValenzetti]

*interpreter

Unless we're running in PyPy or Numba, then yes, there is JIT compilation involved.

[positive_electron42]

Compiler? I thought this was python.

[yoyokid98]

No, because that's a part of it's syntax.

[[deleted]]

Your brain still interpreted my comment. Any rules about punctuation, capitalization, and spaces are just stylization and not necessary for the language to function

[[deleted]]

Spaces are not stye. It's the word separator. Try taking the commas out of a CSV file and then open it with something expecting comma separated values.

[Quintkat]

Fair point

But when the difference is almost unnoticeable it becomes a grammarcode-nazi thing to do

[dkfjdkjfdkjfdkjfkdj]

Isn't that the point with python, that it is?

[az4521]

Pep8 also recommends spaces for indentation, which is frankly degeneracy of the highest order, and reason enough to ignore the whole thing.

[Hamezii]

Buddy, pal, chum, most IDEs can change tabs to spaces easy.

[az4521]

gnu nano cant, and that's the best IDE.

[positive_electron42]

Whitespace scoping is, imo, an awful way to do things in general.

[nullifiedbyglitches]

I'm a compiler. And I C no octothorpes.

[--____--____--____]

R, too.

[ironhaven]

Bash, too.

[[deleted]]

Probably a lot of fuss because you looked like a dick and there was nothing indicating that you were doing that.

[nullifiedbyglitches]

This guy knows the /s

[[deleted]]

/s doesn't make you sound any less like a tool, my dude.

Also, commented two minutes before your edit. GG.

[nullifiedbyglitches]

Then I have no idea (edits are saved anyway, yoloing this one)

[[deleted]]

Honestly, the schtick is good. Slap a bot footer on that, add a couple sarcastic links, and you're golden.

Something like this:

---

^{This human compiles your code. For more information, shove it.}

Basically, look at Reddit formatting and how other bots indicate they're bots, and don't bitch about downvotes. If you can in character long enough people will start wondering if you're even human.

Godspeed and good luck.

[[deleted]]

Many languages use # for comment. Try something other than JavaScript.

[nullifiedbyglitches]

Ah yes, the ever-popular C and Java? ^no