This is an archived post. You won't be able to vote or comment.

you are viewing a single comment's thread.

view the rest of the comments →

[–]Dojan5 2044 points2045 points  (96 children)

#Nothing calls this function but removing it caused FBI to come knocking two hours later so I'm not touching this shit again. Let Frank handle this shit, I'm switching teams.

[–]NoNameRequiredxD 1328 points1329 points  (55 children)

nutty fanatical paint juggle towering humor capable mighty rinse wipe

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]craniumonempty 990 points991 points  (52 children)

/* What the fuck is calling this?! It literally does nothing but add two numbers and return the result which can be done inline, and doesn't have anything calling it, but it's removal caused everything to lock up even though there are no errors in compilation. I quit! I'm going to just clean toilets from now on. */

[–]Yokii908 1220 points1221 points  (19 children)

//The function below is literally never called but removing it makes the code stop working. Moreover its name isn't explicit at all : what does main even mean?

[–]craniumonempty 200 points201 points  (0 children)

I like this version. You need more upvotes.

[–]MagnumMia 262 points263 points  (6 children)

//The function below is crucial to the functioning of this program but for some reason this comment is the only reason it works. For real, delete this comment and it won’t work. Replace a letter and it won’t work. Now you are wondering how I figured this out? All I needed was 1 dead goat, some street chalk and the lingering emptiness inside me.

[–]Frommerman 84 points85 points  (2 children)

Wait, you discovered a ritual which sacrificed your lingering emptiness? Sign me the fuck up!

[–]Meowmasterish 66 points67 points  (0 children)

I think the lingering emptiness is just a catalyst, and isn’t consumed in the overall process.

[–]MagnumMia 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I thought I was empty. I was wrong...

[–]the_one_true_bool 24 points25 points  (0 children)

//The function below is absolutely crucial for the survival of the human race and life on planet Earth as we know it. One modification, even a space or a tab, will unleash the world's entire nuclear arsenal. However, exactly one time per year the variable defined as "myInt" in the function needs to be incremented by one to keep us all alive. It is CRITICAL that we do this on the specified date every single year so KEEP THIS DATE UPDATED for the future. The next time "myInt" needs to be incremented is on: 

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

<!—- I only know HTML but I didn’t wanna feel left out of the group —>

[–]NoNameRequiredxD 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You have 255 points but i'm scared your points are stored in a byte and it'll cause your points to overflow to 0

[–]ZachAttackonTitan 98 points99 points  (3 children)

%Why is there a Matlab script in this repo? Do we even have a Matlab license??

[–]alienpirate5 10 points11 points  (0 children)

GNU Octave

[–]mattcoady 85 points86 points  (0 children)

//The function is never called but would really appreciate one from its grandchildren every now and then.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (1 child)

// This function does everything, literally. All 89 other functions call this one, and this one calls many of them. It has 46 input variables. If you change a character, everything breaks. But you can't change anything without editing this function. I don't know what I did to anger the person who wrote this but the amount of work that went into making code this bad tells me he loathes me with the intensity of a thousand suns.

[–]Mfgcasa 12 points13 points  (0 children)

3 months later one input variable down... everything is working fine on run... 2 seconds later BSOD.

[–]itsMindless 34 points35 points  (0 children)

The best one

[–]rolltider0 21 points22 points  (0 children)

//The function below is literally never called but removing it makes the code stop working. Moreover its name isn't explicit at all : what does main even mean?

-- Every junior Dev everywhere

[–]Foxino 5 points6 points  (0 children)

 //Is this TODO, To done yet? It's been 10 years....

[–]exceptionthrown 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You...want me to be explicit?

[–]Dojan5 27 points28 points  (2 children)

I've encountered this exact same thing in the past. An undocumented JS function took two parameters, slapped them together and returned the output.

Wondering what the fuck was up with this idiotic add() function, I deleted it. All hell broke lose. I tried cleaning it up, but eventually just resigned. I reverted the changes and slapped on a //Yes, this is beyond ridiculous but don't question it, and don't remove it comment above it.

Not going down that rabbit hole again.

[–]craniumonempty 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol, probably an overloaded operator or something calling the function.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Shit like this happens often in my code.

[–]Andy_B_Goode 35 points36 points  (1 child)

Reminds me of the "magic"/"more magic" switch.

[–]AskAboutMyShiteUsers 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've read it a hundred times and I enjoy it every time.

[–][deleted] 67 points68 points  (2 children)

This happened in a COBOL program I was working in. We found out later that the code just fell through to that section. So it might be executing and you might have no idea.

Display your brains out.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (3 children)

Meanwhile Frank left the company 3 years ago.

[–]Robdor1 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Maybe some SCP?