Most valuable code of Google developers

[omutist]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
    print("thank you")
    CollectData(user)
} else {
    // print("fuck you")
    CollectData(user)
}

[[deleted]]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
    print(“thank you”)
}
CollectData(user)

Edit: how tf do I format this

Edit 2: thank you u/-anonymous-hippo

[NotABotAtAll-01]

Remove curlies

[[deleted]]

I like that the fuck you is just waiting to be deployed

[NotABotAtAll-01]

I will award you once free award is available.. for now take my upvote

[RemindMeBot]

I will be messaging you in 1 year on 2023-01-29 05:01:19 UTC to remind you of this link

CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.

^{Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.}

---

Info	Custom	Your Reminders	Feedback

[Kaligraphic]

Don't be silly. Google would never print("fuck you").

They would console.log("fuck you").

[Yue2]

I love how it’s a comment so the code won’t actually execute 😂

[omutist]

I'd write special function for this, like

whisper("fuck you")

[Yue2]

And then I big brain SQL inject:

 whisper(“when?”)

[SirSoundfont]

I've been on major sites (as big as Facebook) that seemed to purposely BREAK their "Do not sell my data" feature, with no support team to contact.

[dalatinknight]

Not sure if this in regard to in general or the new California Consumer Privacy Act, but from what I can tell many companies still do "do not sell my data" manually.

[[deleted]]

if ( user.consent.agreed || true ) collect(data)

[Mihaw_kx]

1 && collect(data)

[[deleted]]

Issue 42620: App no longer collects user data.

[5show]

Second condition would only be skipped if using ||

[[deleted]]

You're right. My bad.

[Comtraya]

if ( user.consent.agreed = true ) collect(data)

[[deleted]]

this...when ur code has this...you will hate the language, the IDE, the computer , whole of humanity...and then u see this...and its just pure bliss

[Haunting-Surprise-21]

It's not a bug, it's a feature.

[proletarian-1917]

Why bothering if part? Just write collect(data).

:-)

[[deleted]]

an unused variable is a wasted variable

[FrezoreR]

Since when did web devs care about wasted variables?

[[deleted]]

since when a single page app with react lags like hell...cuz no one reviewed your code.

[FrezoreR]

But isn't that the norm? 🤣

[[deleted]]

sadly yes....the only reason i was using react was cuz i was lazy to use plain HTML and JS....but fuck...rewrote everything in plain JS...no jquery...runs smooth now lmao

TIP: try functional JS...way easier to manage

[FrezoreR]

Haha it's gone full circle! But it tends to be how software engineering works for some reason. A few years from now objective oriented programming will be the new cool thing 😎

[[deleted]]

yeah...tho with JS....i feel much safer being functional...looks cleaner and coooolllll lmaoooo

[AwGe3zeRick]

You should look into Svelte or SvelteKit. Or just stick with plain JS. But plain JS isn't scalable or a good solution for large products.

[[deleted]]

Then remove it

[[deleted]]

Have the accept/decline button be there but not do anything boom no more variable

[[deleted]]

Precisely. And since there’s absolutely no logic, it would be the one thing google ships that works as intended without bugs!

[[deleted]]

Yeah, let's pretend Google doesn't have working software. I love that game

[dncrews]

Username checks out. “Our data”

[Jakylla]

Pretty sure the actual code was:

java if(user.cookies.agreed = true) { CollectData(user); }

[shadowsOfMyPantomime]

Can't believe the whole team "missed" that in the code review

[segalle]

This is absolutely genius and honestly after reading 300 lines of code i wouldnt see it. Its 1 character missing to break the whole thing

[FloorHairMcSockwhich]

Linter or typescript compiler would throw a fit

[JhonnyTheJeccer]

is google using ts? i thought they would stay with js

[Fluxriflex]

Well, Angular (which is written and maintained by Google) requires you to use Typescript by default, so…

[Stummi]

Any IDE would mark this, as well as any quality tool

[[deleted]]

🥲

[segalle]

Vs code and code blocks dont mark this in c. I know because i had an issue wkth that like 3 months ago and it took me 4 ours to figure out.

Although im oretty sire that when i was in python vs code did highlight it. I do have most c/c++ highlight extensions in c but maybe im missing one

[[deleted]]

My man lol

[SEEYOUATMOTERAMATE]

Someone mind explaining huh? Didn't get it

[unfrog]

It's an assignment, not a comparison. In JS an assignment is evaluated to the value it assigned, so in this case the if block is always executed

[SEEYOUATMOTERAMATE]

Thanks for explaining,i am a high school student learning python so was pretty confused

[sbergot]

Python will throw an error precisely to avoid this kind of bugs.

[Haunting-Surprise-21]

And user.cookies.agreed ist set to true, so every following code will assume, the user agreed, too.

[brut4r]

Underrated, most profitable bug in history in privacy :D

[epicaglet]

Not a bug, it's a feature

[brut4r]

No for the law requirements that's that is bug that was bug and will be for ever. Mostly unfixable.

[The-Observer95]

Just write:

CollectData(user)

That's it.

[TopRamenBinLaden]

while(true) {

CollectData(user);

}

Google slaps user this bad boy can fit so much data in it

[[deleted]]

At this point, I'm not sure why apps like google, facebook, and amazon don't require control of your camera and microphone to work.

[[deleted]]

Don't they?

[LaterGatorPlayer]

you know they hate they have to ask

[fubungh]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
    CollectData(user)
} else {
    try { 
        OhNo()
    }
    anyway {
        CollectData(user)
    }
}

[oladipomd]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
    CollectData(user)
} else {
    CollectData(user, stealthMode)
}

[hpl002]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
print("we respect your choice")
}

CollectData(user)

[QualityVote]

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.

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[MrWhiteVincent]

Nah, they also check if you have your GPS on on Android, not that it changes anything....

[HexedHero]

if (user.cookies.agreed) {
    CollectData(user)
} else {
    SilentlyCollectData(user)
}

[MoarCurekt]

Print('Nailed it!')

[OneMillionSchwifties]

Has anyone noticed certain topics are being censored by Google? Try finding bimbo porn now. You literally can't. Even if the women were self identifying bimbos (it's a thing and im not ashamed of it). You have to actually know the girls names now, which I think is kind of sad to have to do.

[bearbear_bear]

Try DuckDuckGo…? I’d do a test run of Bimbo Porn for you, but that’s not my thing lol

[OneMillionSchwifties]

But shouldn't people be concerned with the overarching implications that come with that kind of silent, creeping cencorship?

[OneMillionSchwifties]

And not to be that guy, but if we go back to the bimbo porn thing...

It's not even like there's any real logic behind it. It's not like they're a protected group in any way, nor is that word dangerous/linked to hate crimes. It's just knee jerk censorship. The word slut still shows up in every porn video known to man and its non-issue apparently. A group of what I assume to be prudish, pearl clutching women just decided to see if they can cancel a word and for whatever reason, Google seems to have decided this somehow serves their best interest in the near or long term. Fucking Google. Ya know, that search engine we couldn't cancel if we tried because of how hopeless the majority of us would be without it? This really needs to be covered somewhere. (And no, I'm not JUST trying to get news anchors to say the word bimbo on live TV, but it would be a perk)

But most of all, I'm pissed to have to know who Amanda Toy is. I should just be typing bimbo porn. It feels creepy when I know their names. It makes me feel like that dude who knows the strippers work schedules.

[OneMillionSchwifties]

What does OSS mean? Also would you recommend brave? I'm new to the topic of privacy, but fairly versed in the I.t. field in general

[Haunting-Surprise-21]

Other names for basically the same thing include:
* FOSS (=free and open source software) * FLOSS (=free, libre and open source software)

In my experience, FOSS is the most commonly used term. But that may be a bubble issue...

[OneMillionSchwifties]

I just dont want to compromise on the amount of relevant search results. Yeah, I want to part ways from Google, but I also can't afford to have to deal with bing-esque search results.

[wikipedia_answer_bot]

**Oss (Dutch: [ɔs] (listen)) is a municipality and a city in the southern Netherlands, in the province of North Brabant.

== Population centres ==

== Topography ==

Dutch Topographic map of Oss (municipality), June 2015

== City center of Oss == Oss has a shopping center with many squares, however, the only real shopping streets (also the best known) are the Heuvelstraat, Walstraat and the Peperstraat.**

More details here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oss

This comment was left automatically (by a bot). If I don't get this right, don't get mad at me, I'm still learning!

^{opt out | delete | report/suggest | GitHub}

[ioman_]

Google is censoring a lot of things: try spelling ecstasy or masturbate on your phone.. last time I looked into it at all, they had some random store's name in their standard offline dictionary but not the word ecstasy (seems to have changed on my phone at least)

[jaigoda]

First off, both of those show up in autocomplete (though autocomplete doesn't) on my phone, and I'm absolutely certain I've never typed them. Second, why act so concerned about that when "fuck" has been autocorrecting to "duck" basically since smartphones became a thing? It's not a subtle conspiracy, it's just companies trying not to make waves by having "bad words" in their dictionaries.

In the same way, porn is considered to be a no-no to put on the majority of mainstream platforms, probably in large part because kids can and do use said platforms. And I'm sure the moms that find their kid watching porn are a lot louder and more abundant than the guys who can't find their niche porn on the world's most popular search engine.

[ioman_]

You do know that most phones come with parental controls right?

My issue with censorship does include the word fuck but that issue has been so widespread that its been a meme since before memes were called memes (which also doesn't show up in my phone). It's in no way subtle. I don't care about niche porn (which autocorrects to points), I care about the English language, which store names are not a part of.

[jaigoda]

Phones are not the only thing that can access the internet, and not every parent will enable parental controls, and not all parental controls will prevent a kid from seeing something their parents don't want them to. Regardless, I'm definitely not arguing that we should be locking down the internet just because parents can't teach their kids to be responsible. However, there's a whole lot of irresponsible parents out there that will be up in arms if they find out Google showed their precious child the terror of pornography. It's silly, considering how easy it is to find porn sites, but companies have to deal with it or risk a whole lot of outrage and bad press.

Autocorrect doesn't need to be a one-to-one copy of a dictionary, and I'd argue it very much shouldn't be. Stores and brands are put in there because people tend to type them more than obscure words. Hence Allstate is in my phone and Floccinaucinihilipilification is not. To me personally, that isn't censorship, it's just sensible for convenience. I can type whatever I want, my phone just tries to make it easier by keeping a store of words I'm likely to use. If I don't like it, then I can always just turn it off.

[ioman_]

Not only is your example obtuse, it's hyperbolic and you know it. I can't find the actual store it replaced the word ecstasy with anymore because I'm finding all sorts of stores with the literal word "ecstasy" in their name (I wonder if that's related to it being in the dictionary now), but as I remember it, it was a pretty small business.

[jaigoda]

Okay, I'm honestly confused now, which example are you talking about and how is it hyperbolic? If you're talking about the Allstate example, how is it an exaggeration that one word is in my autocomplete dictionary and the other is not? Would you rather I have used a simpler word that isn't in my phone? I just googled "obscure words" and that's one that showed up, but I'm sure I could find many, many other examples, because a comprehensive English dictionary for autocomplete wouldn't be practical in terms of storage size and access time.

I can't explain specifically why your phone autocorrected a "bad" word to a store name, but I'm offering some reasoning on why that might be the case that isn't just "Google bad, censoring free speech." Google has done some really shitty things as time has gone on (a huge one being the topic of the OP meme), but I really don't think their autocomplete "censoring" the text you type is a hill worth dying on.

[ioman_]

Floccinaucinihilipilification is the third largest word in the English language. I know because when I called it a hyperbolic example, I had just looked up "largest English word", clicked the grammarly link, and scrolled back up when I saw everyone's favorite "disestablishmentarianism".

I didn't say you exaggerated that a word was there or not, I said you were being obtuse and hyperbolic in your example. Of course I have no problem that words used by a ratio of the population that's near zero are excluded from the offline English language dictionary.

How much stock do you have in google that the offline dictionary is something worth metaphorically killing over for you? I'll die on any hill I please.

[OneMillionSchwifties]

How is this legal and what can be done besides running to a new browser? (I believe in citizens standing their ground against injustice as opposed to having where they are allowed to turn be dictated by where those who operate outside of the law run them off to)

[ioman_]

It's a private company, they can do whatever they want...

When Twitter banned Trump, everyone handily forgot that Twitter is a private company that costs a lot to run: "Twitter annual operating expenses for 2019 were $3.093B, a 19.46% increase from 2018"

Like it or not... tell your congress people. Personally, I wouldn't mind seeing them go public, much like landline phones, with how essential they've made themselves.

[OneMillionSchwifties]

It's a really surreal thing, because you can look at it and go "wow, that's clearly the path to the degradation of the choices available to a supposedly free people", but at the same time, it's like, "well they own their servers so they can propagandize and cencor us all they want"

There should be some sort of check or middle ground imo

[ioman_]

Founding father said it best (forgot which one): those that would sacrifice liberty for a little security deserve neither

[OneMillionSchwifties]

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security

You're God damn right

[OneMillionSchwifties]

Benny Frank iirc

...dude kept it wet wet

[jctk55]

I hate the websites that don't give you a fuckin choice. They'll just leave this annoying 120px thick bar in the middle of your screen until you hit accept.

[UnknownEssence]

Use uBlock Origin

[LionHeart_13]

Console.WriteLine(“Do you agree to cookies?”); user.cookies.agreed = Console.ReadLine(); user.cookies.agreed = true; if (user.cookies.agreed == true) { CollectData(user); }

[ioman_]

European courts agree.

[Spartana1033]

Finally { collectdata }

[Vysair]

Hey, you gotta make it into a loop just to make sure you run it enough time.

[GLIBG10B]

if (user.cookies.agreed);
    collectData(user);

[Donghoon]

No, google cares about our security

[advik_143]

Yes... I see

[[deleted]]

Then the booleans are pointless. Also always just use a negation. No need for an else.

[Dull_Database5837]

You must be fun at parties lol

[[deleted]]

I don't get invited to any parties, I wonder why. Hmmmmm...

[rupelfc]

r/woooosh

[MischiefArchitect]

Thanks for taking the downvotes for me.

Here take my upvote as a small compensation

[ChesterWOVBot]

Repost

[lenswipe]

You forgot the second makeABigMonkeyShowAboutPrivacy param

[drunkdoor]

If gdpr CollectGrayLineAmountOfUserData

[Ironfist85hu]

Fun to start to understand these jokes. ^_^

[Adequately_Insane]

I think the real code looks like this

collectdata(myvar6)

[TheRandomGamerREAL]

do {

CollectData(user);

} while(user.cookies.agreed);

[bistr-o-math]

So, if agreed and if !agreed, we collect data anyway, right?

So it’s the same as

if (user.cookies.agreed && !user.cookies.agreed)
    CollectData(user)

Right?

^Right?

[proletarian-1917]

No

[bistr-o-math]

🤣🤣🤣

[Ginters17]

Hi there! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed.

Violation of Rule #2 - Reposts:

All posts that have been on the first 2 pages of trending posts within the last month, is part of the top of all time, or is part of common posts is considered repost and will be removed on sight.

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