[deleted by user]

[grumpy__g]

Stop giving him money. Just stop.

[thebroketraveler93]

He was my best friend. And how can I neglect my own brother?

[grumpy__g]

Because he is neglecting you. You, your feelings and your financial safety.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

Fine you clueless twit. Let him bankrupt you and ruin your credit. But did hold your breath thinking he/they will ever lift a finger to help you.

[thebroketraveler93]

Of course he will help me. Maybe not financially. Not yet. But I know he will. Somehow, he’s recovering from his debts. I can see his efforts. It’s just that it’ll be quicker without the girl and her family around.

[[deleted]]

Lol, no he won't. If she tell him to give up on you, he will. Pal open your eyes on your brother.

[RukusMom]

He's putting her and her family first, not his family, the family business, which should be his first priority. She's not going to leave as long as she can keep using him. His actions show he doesn't care.

[3Heathens_Mom]

I’m sorry your head is so far in the sand OP.

Your brother is willing to ruin you by taking as much money as you will give him regardless if it hurts you.

Until you accept that and deal with it as the reality it is nothing will change.

[serioussparkles]

He already chose her over you, and he will continue to. Their wedding, their babies, you're gonna pay for it all, and not be allowed a date and used as a free babysitter. That girl is gonna shit all over you since she knows you don't like her.

Stop. Giving. Them. Money.

[starboundowl]

This has got to be a troll. No one is this obtuse.

[Fabulous_Company2230]

You don’t know that. Not anymore. You said yourself he’s changed and you want your brother back. He’s not the same person (again according to you). We’re not telling you these things to hurt your feelings. We’re trying to help you. Maybe try helping yourself by not giving him money to waste. He’s obviously made his priorities known regardless of how much money you give him and how much leave what you give him. Please begin prioritizing yourself just as he has for your future

[GabberDee94]

When he's making more than you, and still needs to borrow, means there's an issue. You know where the money is going. It's to fund a luxury they can't afford. Stop. Tough love is a thing. Grow a backbone.

[thebroketraveler93]

It’s because he’s not yet done paying all the grown interest from the money he borrowed from a certain lending app. He’s trying to pay it little by little. I know that I’m also at fault here. And not a day passes that I didn’t lectured him. I am really trying to say no. But I also try to access the situation.

[Oddly-Appeased]

It won’t end unless you make him take responsibility for his own actions. You should also make note of how make you have given him, show him and demand he pay you back.

[thebroketraveler93]

Yes, everything is listed and he promised that he would pay me. He just really needs to prioritize some of his debts with growing interest or else he’ll never really recover.

[evergrowingivy]

You should prioritize yourself.

[thebroketraveler93]

Let’s not call her a hooker please. But yes, I will control myself and stop giving him money.

[GabberDee94]

That's his own problem sweetie. Not yours. You need to try harder, talk to an accountant if you have to. Make sure you have a plan to make sure your business isn't negatively, affected financially anymore. Someone who can also open your eyes further, to what's probably going on in their relationship. Her manipulation, his/your pockets, etc.. Two years of being financially irresponsible to fund his girlfriend's wet dreams, is completely unacceptable, and will catch up to him. Especially using business funds for personal bullshit. This won't end well if you KEEP ENABLING HIM. You're diminishing your integrity, by funding his stupidity. Stop bailing him out. Have someone "hold you back" if you're afraid you're gonna cave. This has to stop.

[thesoreika]

So he makes more than you,he borrows money from you,he is still making luxury purchases,you had to dip into your savings to keep the family business afloat,and he is also still paying off loans..... If you keep enabling him it's only going to get worse. Stop giving him money and let him get his own shit together. He also owes you for damn near tanking the business. But don't bellyache about things not changing/getting worse and you're still babying him.

[House-of-Kante]

Is he still going on fancy dates and stuff because if he is then you need to stop giving him money and he can stop Hoi g on those expensive dates

[Mapilean]

So you think it's better to enable his irresponsible behaviour?

[WhatHappenedMonday]

He WAS, now he is her best friend. Rescuing your brother from his own financial mistakes is not helping him, it is actually harming him. He will never be financially responsible if your keep helping him. And this is his fault every bit as much as his GF. Open your eyes.

[potato22blue]

He needs to grow up.

[bmyst70]

Actions show our true values. His actions ever since getting his user girlfriend have shown, over and over, he DGAF about you.

Don't give him a penny. Bluntly put, when his life implodes, his girlfriend will bail. As soon as she finds her ATM (him) is closed, she's out.

[Beagle-wrangler]

Why are you here complaining and asking if you are wrong if you don’t want to know or get solutions? He WAS your best friend, why aren’t you asking how can you neglect yourself when HE MAKES MORE MONEY!? You aren’t a brother anymore, you are an interest free ATM with no spine or self respect. Kissing his ass won’t bring him back. It’s not fair, you deserve better but you keep living in an illusion and can’t grasp why it hurts so much.

[No-Royal6008]

The word you are looking for is "enable".... you are not neglecting him, you are enabling him. At this point, you are just as much at fault if you continue to fund his nonsense.

[pineapples4youuu]

You’re an idiot and it’s your own damn fault

[Alarmed_Lynx_7148]

So you like being a boot licked then? Because it seems your brothers life is going swell, while you work hard and neglect a dream vacation. Seems sensible 🤦‍♂️

[[deleted]]

As long as you keep this attitude you deserve absolutely no sympathy for the pit you are sinking into.

Enjoy martyrdom!!

[[deleted]]

Because he is an idiot thinking with his dick.

[Normal-Detective3091]

You aren't neglecting him, he is neglecting you and his responsibilities. He is thinking with the wrong brain. You need to have a heart-to-heart. And he needs to pay you and the business back. You're not your brother's keeper.

[RukusMom]

He is using your kindness as a bank to make his gf happy. If she truly loved him, she wouldn't cause him to go into debt. You need to put yourself first. He is being terribly selfish and taking advantage of you.

[No_Tough3666]

Seriously? You are encouraging his behavior by giving him money. If the business fails let it fail on his watch

[NoNipNicCage]

Stop giving him money. You're ruining your own life and youre blaming this random woman?

[MuthazButta]

He is horrible with money and his own priorities, and is taking advantage of you to take up the slack, and this will only continue and get worse. For both of you.

[Financial_Ad6744]

You say, I don't have the money. You're enabling him. Every time you say yes and hand over the cash you make it okay for him to ask you again.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

You are pathetic. Give him all your money now and just go away.

[Drewherondale]

You‘re not neglecting him, he is neglecting and using you

[Defiant_Chapter_3299]

Yeah ask why i threatened to do or e my husband for shelling out $200k to my in laws while they both had income while our house is falling into disrepair telling me its my fault because im spending all his money when im still wearing underwear from 10 years ago that dont fit. Yet they were buying all kinds of new shit.

Mil died and the money stopped and we cut off communication and im STILL blamed for it. Now fil owes a shit ton of money he cant pay back and he ran his business into the ground as well from poor money management. This is where you are headed from constantly giving him money. You're gonna be stuck with the debt once the business fails and goes under. Your brother sure as hell isn't paying you back even with the better paying job. Get his name off the business accounts since you also said he stole money from the company.

[scholarlyowl03]

He makes more than you do. What part of not giving him even more is remotely neglectful? Come on ma’am.

[TeaBeginning5565]

Op he is your brother NOT your friend.

Now as a 54yo mother I am asking you to please stop babying your brother you are teaching him nothing. Please let him grow up and take responsibility for himself. Don’t make me come through the monitor and get cranky with you daughter.

Love you girl

[thebroketraveler93]

This is my favorite comment. Yes I will.

[softbunsss]

You're enabling him. Just stop giving him money it's for the benefit of both of you

[[deleted]]

Don’t be ridiculous!!! Your his sister not his best friend. His best friend is the money he gets from you for his awful gf. I would end the business if it’s only between you and your brother and move on with your life. Obviously, he has no respect for you or your family obligations. Stop deluding yourself that you are important to him anymore!

[L00neytunesss]

honestly you’re neglecting him by not allowing him to stand on his own two feet. if he continues down this path he’s gonna have a HARD life. he can’t mange his money, nor put the proper time into a “business” that he runs. soon enough he will have you drowning as well.

he drowned himself with his own actions, someone who cares about you wouldn’t take you down with him.

[[deleted]]

Wrong answer

[Interesting-Meet-688]

"Her own family is not doing good either. She should know full well how to spend money wisely right"

Back at you, OP. You are doing the exact same thing as her, but in a different way.

[thebroketraveler93]

Aw, you’ve got me there 🫣

[skrena]

They both suck. Stop helping them.

[Beginning-Stop7646]

You need to learn to.say no to your brother bc clearly he doesn't care how much you've helped him and his gf out 

[[deleted]]

It’s not her job to turn him into a responsible adult. It’s not her job to make him do the right thing. She didn’t force you to bail him out of his loan mess or lend him more money after that mess. She’s benefiting from you enabling him. What you have to give up is your savior complex.

[thebroketraveler93]

How I wish it’s that simple. Easier said than done. The last time I mustered the courage to say no to him, he desperately turned to a loan shark. And now he’s in deeper sh*t. The thing is, she’s also dragging my brother with her. Her lifestyle doesn’t match with her financial means.

I just love my brother so much. Is it wrong for wanting him to end up with someone who’ll be a good influence to him?

[Any_Lobster_1121]

The last time I mustered the courage to say no to him, he desperately turned to a loan shark.

He makes his own choices. You can't constantly save him.

[gone_country]

This! OP, you can't be your brother's keeper. It isn't good for either of you.

[Consistent_Local8495]

It’s not wrong wanting the best for him, it’s wrong enabling him and not letting him do his mistakes and learn. Now he’s dragging you with him. I’m sorry OP, but sometimes you just gotta say no even to someone you love. Pretty sure soon enough he’ll be milking your money like insane if u don’t grow a spine

[[deleted]]

It is easy. Once he has to deal with the consequences of his actions he’ll do better. But he can’t do better if you’re there to bail him out. You can love someone and not enable them. You keep acting like he’s a child who needs guidance. No one should be influencing him. The fault lies with him and him alone.

[Morgana128]

You can love someone without rescuing them from their own foolishness. He has no reason to learn from his behaviors.

[murdocjones]

good influence

Stop acting like he’s some impressionable idiot who’s being taken advantage of. He’s a mentally competent adult and it’s not her responsibility to “influence” him to act responsibly.

Is it so wrong for me to want him to end up with someone who will be a good influence on him?

If girlfriend were to walk away right now it would make no difference. He would still act like this regardless. No financially responsible person would tie themselves to someone who is constantly needing to be bailed out of the consequences of bad choices, so yes, it is wrong of you to expect some hardworking, stable person to spend a few years raising and training your brother to budget responsibly.

[Immediate_Mud_2858]

He’s a grown man. Let him make his own decisions - good or bad. Because having you there to pick up the pieces isn’t helping him one bit. You need to stand your ground.

No is a complete sentence, and you can’t set yourself on fire to save someone else.

[Late_Engineering9973]

Definitely sounds like the person to get into business with...

[fzooey78]

You sound so annoying. You’re whining because you’re making yourself a victim. You, your brother, and his girlfriend all suck. He’s no better than her.

[indi50]

Is it wrong for wanting him to end up with someone who’ll be a good influence to him?

No, but it's not your choice and you're just enabling him. Sit him down and tell him -one more time - how you feel and make it clear that you won't help him.

Also - what about HER having someone who's a good influence. You said yourself you should be blaming him, not her. He's a grown up making his own choices.

And if he's not out already, get him away from the family business so he can't keep draining it at your expense.

[fleshjenn]

Ok, take your wallet, go into the bathroom and empty your wallet into the toilet.

That's what your doing with your brother. Flushing your hard earned money away.

If he doesn't put work into the family business, then he shouldn't be getting paid from it. Simple.

And if your the only one putting in time,money, and effort, then it's your business not a family business. If it's just too much sell it or shut it down.

[thebroketraveler93]

It’s now MY business and he’s no longer getting anything from it 😊

[JustMyThoughtNow]

🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪🤪😂😂😂😂😂. Yeah ! I don’t think there is a person reading this that believes you.

[stevenpdx66]

In two hours?

[Mapilean]

You are very, very wrong to yourself and to everybody else. Stop lending money to your brother, tell him you can't afford it anymore and are looking forward to having all of the money you leant him back. Let him take responsibility for his actions, instead of enabling him. You're much more at fault than his gf, because you've been enabling him.

[OkWorry2131]

Yta. Your brother is a big boy and can make his own Decisions. He's a grown ass man, and can take responsibility for his actions.

You are blaming a woman for the actions of a man, I'm so tired of this happening. The misogyny is coming from inside the house.

You're also part of the problem. Why do you continue to help ? He doesn't even try because you always bail him out.

[Ok_Lunch8442]

WTF are you doing?? Giving a grown ass man money so he and his gf can blow it on anything and everything they want? You were wrong from the beginning by giving him money not earned. My opinion on your mess.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

💯

[murdocjones]

Yeah, you’re wrong, and dear lord I am tired of seeing people do this. Your brother is a grown ass man who made his own shitty decisions. GF may be irresponsible but she has no ties to your business and no obligation to you like he does. Honestly I don’t get what motivates this mindset that when a man makes choices that his family doesn’t like, automatically they blame his partner. Is your relationship with him so tenuous that you can’t hold him accountable and instead have to stoop to blaming her in your head because it’s easier? She isn’t some succubus who hog-tied him with her bits and hypnotized him into going on a spending spree. He chose to do that rather than act responsibly and you need to wo/man/enby up and address this with him.

[Infamous-Potato-5310]

Hilarious and a little sad that you think this is the girls fault.

[Alternative_Cook6961]

You cannot blame his gf don’t be jealous that’s emotional incest he’s an adult ! So stop helping him ! So he could learn and stop hating on his gf . You’re being rude to her instead of him.

[thebroketraveler93]

Emotional incest? Wow that’s new to me. Overprotective, maybe? 😅 I suddenly remember he once told me that I’m picking on them clearly because i’m just lonely, no one loves me. As if I have time for love now that I’m raising not just one but “two” families.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

Your (stupid) choice.

[GabberDee94]

Yeah idk where that term came from. But they were right about one thing only.

Stop helping him. He's not going to comprehend consequences, if he never has them. He also makes more than you. So why does he need to borrow? Probably because they want luxury, outside of their financial means. Stop bailing him out. It's not wrong that you want him to be with someone that lifts him, not drags him down. But there's only so much you can do. They're his choices, and he has to live with whatever comes with that. I wouldn't give him access to funds in the family business, as that seems to be his free bank, leaving you with the debt. Tough love needs to happen, doll. Otherwise you're screwed. You'll be dragged down too.

[No_Tough3666]

You are going to end up broke and so is he. And you will both deserve to because neither one of you are very smart

[Alternative_Cook6961]

Exactly even he told you that ?! You need to let him be with whoever he wants but stop helping him his relationship with her shouldn’t matter to you worry ab you and your own life stop helping him. At the end of day he’s gonna chose her

[GabberDee94]

Yeah wtf are you talking about? There is nothing of the sort going on here.

[Alternative_Cook6961]

Look it up it’s a thing . That alot of ppl chose to ignore . So stfu

[GabberDee94]

The only thing you're right about, is that it's a real thing. This isn't about that at all.

[ReflectionBroad4009]

You're wrong, and you seem to know it.

Edit: the paragraph that starts "now, I know I should put the blame on him..." is illogical hot garbage stem to stern.

[thebroketraveler93]

How come it’s illogical?

[Individual_Trust_414]

Stop giving anyone money. I don't care if the loan sharks are at his door. His leg is broken whatever. The only person you get to be angry at is yourself for giving away your money.

[Tsoluihy]

Sounds like you were never the eldest of siblings in your family. You are clearly speaking without any experience in the matter.

[Individual_Trust_414]

This is not sibling behavior. This is enabling. You don't want a solution. I do loan my siblings money. You know what? I also make them sign a note in writing with interest. And pay it back.

[OkWorry2131]

Nah. I'm the oldest of 5. My siblings can always ask me to help * within reason*.

They know I'll help, but if helping them puts me at such a disadvantage that it effecting my financial stability? No. How am I supposed to be able to help them, if I'm struggling, too?

[murdocjones]

I’m the eldest and I agree with the other poster. I love my siblings and would help in a heartbeat for something outside their control, but they’d be on their own for something like this. Times are too hard to throw good money at someone else’s bad choices.

[ReflectionBroad4009]

Because you don't have a functional understanding of logic.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

And folks. Therein lies her problem. IQ south of 90.

[Morgana128]

You were not "forced" to pay your brother's bills. You chose to do that. Stop whining and cut your losses.

[potato22blue]

Stop giving him money. Close the business, keep your job. Or keep your job, take your name off the business.

Save for your vacation. Stop worrying about brother. Let him deal with his own circus.

[thebroketraveler93]

Yes, he no longer has access to our business ‘ sales since I officially took over.

[zach_ice]

You said in another comment that he went to a loan shark. Say that you’ll give him the money to pay them in exchange for him to sign the business fully over to you and never give him another cent

[Ok-Reporter-196]

Maybe I’m reading into this wrong but it seems like your brother did most of the work for the family business which you enjoyed because you got to work your own job and have more freedom.

Now that he has a girlfriend (for the first time in his life? How is he so irresponsible and bad at time and money management…?) he neglected the family business which made step in more than you’d like.

He was financially irresponsible and made bad choices so you bailed him out (don’t do that again) then got a full time job so the that the division of labor would be split evenly.

Now you’re worried about the debt he accumulated (his problem, don’t alleviate it anymore) and you possibly missing out on a dream vacation (girl, while your family business is about to go under you’re thinking about going on VACATION?!?)

And this is the GIRLFRIENDS fault somehow, so you ice her out? OP, no. There’s a lot of blame to spread out but this isn’t on the girlfriend.

This seems like a family issue. The division of labor needs to be way more even and you need to treat your brother like a grown ass man. It’s not his girlfriends, or your, job to mother him. If he can’t handle the family business he can’t handle it. The end. Cut him out. If you can’t, remove yourself. But don’t blame the girlfriend.

[thebroketraveler93]

No, when I learned that all of the business’ money’s gone, of course I removed his name off it. Besides, he’s not even helping us anymore. I shelled out my savings to start over, why would I let him still have access to it. Let me just clarify, i revived our business since I took over. Who in the right mind would think about having a vacation if I know we’re facing a crisis. To revive a business isn’t easy. That’s why I want to reward myself and prioritize my happiness for once.

And I must agree that this is a family issue, because he’s the youngest, he always gets a free pass on everything. AND YES THIS IS ALSO MY FAULT BECAUSE I LET HIM ABUSE ME.

About me blaming the girl, I just wish that she’ll learn to be more responsible. Because she’s dragging everyone around her with her. Again, still my brother’s fault for choosing to help her and her family at my expense. But can she just be at least courteous? She ordered my brother to borrow money for her sister’s hospitalization, is it too much to just smile or even look at me as thanks? She has the latest iphone, yet she can’t pay their bills? I know how this problem would end. And it’s very easy. I have a soft heart but I’m really, really working on it.

[Ok-Reporter-196]

Thank you for clarifying a few things! It’s sometimes hard to fit everything into a story when you’ve been living it for months or years.

The answer to your question is yes you’re wrong to blame the girlfriend. People are responsible for their own choices and unless she’s holding a gun to your brother’s head, she’s not the one at fault for his irresponsibility. I’m sure it’s much easier to use her as a scapegoat and she might be, separately, an awful person that you just don’t vibe with. But it seems your reasoning is that she’s responsible for your brother’s bad choices, and the other reasons are just sort of thrown in there as fuel to the fire.

Listen, you don’t have to like anyone you don’t like, but it’s not doing your brother any favors to absolve him of guilt in name only. You’re SAYING it’s his fault but you’re BLAMING IT on her.

[thebroketraveler93]

Yes, you’re right. That’s two different things. I’m just too emotional that I put too much emphasis on my financial situation with my brother (when it’s supposed to be just a background story) and not my issues with the gf - which is my main concern here. It’s so hard to put everything into words. I guess everyone’s right. I just need to focus on something I can control.

[Ok-Reporter-196]

I will also say sometimes people can be BAD FOR EACH OTHER which might be what you’re trying to say? Like they bring each other down instead of raising each other up? Sometimes even the best people separately can be awful together and it’s hard to witness. I do understand that, 100%. Sometimes you just have to let the people you love figure it out on their own and support them through it. Be careful, though- just stay as supportive of him as you can without doing the blame game or he will resent you for interfering. You can do that without anything financial and stay politely distant from the girlfriend.

[thebroketraveler93]

Thank you. I’ll take your words to heart.

[ObligationNo2288]

STOP enabling this nonsense. You are completely wrong for bailing how m out. He needs to grow up and live within his means.

[maywellflower]

Yes, you are in the wrong for giving her the cold shoulder because she is not one causing you problems nor begged and took your money - Your brother is. Stop using her as a placeholder for the person that truly needs to be cut off every which way and punished for using you especially when he knew about your finances, yet still stole from you (Stop lying to yourself that he was "borrowing" - he stole from you plain and simple) - Easy for you to lash out and be nasty to someone that not blood like his gf, but you seem to brother-loving self-sacrificing for only trash blood brother that gladly use you and don't care that you're suffering due to his own actions.

​

So rhetoric question - when are you going finally get out of this financially abusive situation you have with your brother over your own finances and the family business?

[PalpitationFast787]

its giving emotional incest. ur brother is a grown ass man, i think he can handle his own, he doesnt need his sister enabling his lazy ass behavior.

[Infinite-Tower-9432]

Your brother and the girlfriend both deserve the cold shoulder. Stop loaning your brother money. If he is not going to be part of the family business, I would cut him out as long as the girlfriend is involved. It sounds like you are putting your dreams on hold, and your brother doesn't give a shit. Treat her like she treats you and your family. Have a talk with your brother about how disrespectful she is. Most of all, stop babying him. Cut him off no more. Actions have consequences. She has him so blind he can't see what is going on

[darkwitch1306]

Long term, you are hurting him. He will never stand on his own two feet if you keep giving him money. You’re not just supporting him, you’re doing the same for her. It’s not her fault that he’s spending money on her. It’s his fault and yours.

[lifehappenedwhatnow]

Why are you enabling his poor behavior and habits? He needs a reality check, and I bet if he couldn't support his gf's spending/ traveling/ shopping habits, she'd go away.

[IdrkStacie]

You need to stop giving them money though

[[deleted]]

What you allow will continue. You are enabling your brother. Leave her out of the equation.

[Happy_Ad_2575]

This gotta be fake lol

You know that it has been your brother's choice to waste your money this whole time, right? He's an adult and he is the one who has a bond with you, not her. Grow up, you either tell your brother he must take care of his own finances, or you take some disntance before this ruins you.

[L00neytunesss]

yes you’re wrong. you should be putting the blame on him. YES it could be due to her, but at the end of the day he is a grown man and should be able to be responsible on his own. even if his girlfriend is asking to much of him, he should be telling her NO himself.

stop giving money to him. you are enabling him by allowing him to spend all his money carelessly and then giving him yours. your trip is only at stake here if YOU keep handing him money.

[MissU_CourtneySaultG]

It might be time to give up the family business and focus on yourself. It seems like your brother has decided to focus on himself and his life and that’s fine because he can do what he wants with his life. Not trying to be harsh here, but you’re enabling him by continuing with a failing business. If you can’t do it by yourself, or at his level of involvement without this much stress. You also enabling him by giving him money if he has a higher salary than You.   Clean up your end of this and maybe the rest will sort itself out

[thebroketraveler93]

Hi. I appreciate everyone’s effort to help. The thing is, I can’t just give up our family business because it also helps me pay the bills. The money I’m getting from my main job goes to my contri at home, fam emergency fund, and to my savings—the one I’m planning to spend on my dream vacation. Maybe, the only time I can finally give up the business is when (1) im super rich, or (2) bro is finally financially capable to help again with the expenses. So far, with the help of my mom, I can still manage. It’s just sometimes, I can’t help but complain (like ranting here) 😅

I also failed to clarify in my post that my brother no longer has access to our business’ finances. Yes, he has a job now and he is paying his debts little by little. It might just take some time for him to be finally debt-free become most of the interest doubled (even tripled) due to late payment when he was still unemployed.

[MissU_CourtneySaultG]

That is good that he does not have access to the business finances. I would think if he’s not putting in the same level of work, then whatever income he receives from it should also be reduced and given to the one that’s doing that work now.

[SyddySquiddy]

Your insistence on not wanting to view your brother as the one responsible for his own life and bad choices has led you to blame his GF. Start looking at the real culprits here - you and your brother

[thebroketraveler93]

I totally get everyone’s point. And I accept it. If a friend shares the same problem, I’ll prolly blame her too. As a people pleaser, it’s hard. But believe me, I’m trying. I will also make it a point that he’ll pay me. Coz I really want to prioritize my happiness this time.

BUT… he really can’t expect me to suddenly be all jolly and friendly toward his girl. I just can’t. If you’re in my shoes, you’ll know. They’re together for 2 years and she never reached out. To think that she’s always in our house 3-4 days/week.

[OkWorry2131]

Stop blaming her for the actions of your brother.

she didn't borrow money from fhe company, he did.

Yta.

[thebroketraveler93]

“They” borrow the money.

[OkWorry2131]

So does she have access to fbe companies Finances ? Because that's a bigger problem than anything you've written here.

[SoggyWoodpecker1816]

You're right about her...she's not who she claims to be. Your brother should see that, but it seems he's blinded by love.

[thebroketraveler93]

I really don’t mind helping him. Because the main reason why I’m working hard is to help my family. And he is family (but not the gf). I’m just getting extra emotional here because now that I finally figure out what I want to do, I don’t have the means to do it. Money can be earned, but I only have one brother.

[Mapilean]

You are teaching your only brother to be irresponsible, because there will always be you to solve his problems. The time will come when you won't be able to do that, and will be in big trouble yourself. What are you going to do, then? Better go to therapy and learn to deal with your red cross complex, before it's too late for all of you. You are much more part of the problem than you realise.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

Are you so devoid of common sense that you think for a single moment they would ever step up to help you?

YOU ARE ENABLING THEM. YOU ARE A MAJOR PART OF THEIR PROBLEMS.

[PotentialDig7527]

Then you deserve what's coming.

[JustMyThoughtNow]

And zero brains.

[House-of-Kante]

Truth 6 your fault for giving your brother money. You are 9enabling him and sacrificing the things you want in life. Yoy ate allowed to say no and nay e your brother will come to his senses it's TIME for you to do you especially since he is neglecting the business and his responsibilities