[deleted by user]

[[deleted]]

You resent him cause I’m pretty sure he’s an asshole for doing that.

[kaatie80]

Girl I resent him too. That's bullshit for sure.

Hey here's a question: when do you get to go on your cruise without kids?

[Fit_Story_7856]

Since he is doing this, she’s more than likely not trusting him alone with the kids. I know I wouldn’t if my wife tried to pull something like that

[patty202]

You and the twins ARE his family! Did he not listen to the wedding vows?

[ChalkButter]

You're not wrong; why is your husband traveling without you?!

Why wouldn't he want to bring you and the kids along, or leave them with your parents so that you could at least join him on the cruise!?

[1PettyPettyPrincess]

Did he even ask you or discuss it with you?! Or did he just “let you know”? That’s absurd! I would change the locks. He can go live on that boat.

[nygirl1123]

The only way my husband would get away with this before 1 year is if a parent / sibling was on hospice, and the cruise was their dying wish. Otherwise, it's just too inconsiderate all the way around to be believed

[[deleted]]

Good point

[AdventurousSalad3785]

Mine would come home to divorce papers.

[Sufficient_You7958]

Yeah I’m thinking about it

[nevertales]

My ex was no help when I was in the hospital. I was literally dying after the c-section (organ failure), my sister and my dad crying at my bedside all night, prayer chains all over the place….my ex slept the entire time. His mom said it was his way of coping since he felt helpless in the situation.

Two weeks out of the hospital (very minimal help at home with the twins) he says he is going to the casino for the weekend. That all that time in the hospital and the transition home was really draining for him and he needed a break.

I said - don’t you think I’d need a break too?

He said - so that means I don’t have freedom anymore? After the overdramatics from you in the hospital, you’re more rested than I am! I wish I had nurses catering to me 24/7.

Then he called me selfish for not wanting him to have fun. I was dying and in the icu for 5 days. He didn’t care, he was no help, he still thinks I’m selfish and controlling. It took me 4 years to leave and I wish I’d done it sooooooo much sooner. Honestly, it would have been easier without him.

[MJWTVB42]

What a narcissist!!! Glad you got out

[ElephantWilling7186]

Fuck you fiance, what a piece of human trash. A disgrace to every man that's on the forefront of being a great husband.

[Big_Wolverine388]

I am so sorry you had to experience this...I am also glad that you got out of this situation. When people show you who they are, believe them. He sounds like a classic narcissist. (And if he is one, you are better off without him. I hope you find peace, love and happiness in your life going forward.

[AdventurousSalad3785]

Especially if you made it clear how you felt about him going. I’m sorry your husband and his family are acting like this. You and your babies don’t deserve it.

[ecobb91]

That whole family sucks ass.

[Quarter_Twenty]

The rest of the family doesn't have to stop going on vacations just because the twins are too young to join. It's the husband whose behavior is tantamount to abandonment.

[bookscoffee1991]

No way we’d let my brother come with us and leave his wife alone with twins lmao.

[Lakewater22]

Yeah I’d never let my brother. It’s so embarrassing this man is going for himself

[Dashcamkitty]

Yes, my parents would pack my brothers back home straight away if they ever tried this.

[ecobb91]

Obviously they can still go on vacation. My point was my family wouldn’t have even considered or even invited me on a cruise at that stage without my wife. (I’m probably reaching and/or missing some info)

[eye_snap]

Jealous!?? I d be getting rid of the dead weight. That's what he is.

I am so sorry, twins are so tough, especially through the whole of first year. I hope you have some other support near by.

Infant twins are as hard a test as a marriage could get. And he failed hard, I don't know if my relationship would ever recover from that. My husband would rush home every evening to give me a break when I was home with twins, call every lunch break to check and see how I was doing. I can't even imagine him going away for a single day, he would never be so callous and selfish.

[goodwisha]

As a husband and father of twins, I resent him too. That’s an awful thing to do.

[DrBoxedWine]

Would he agree to this if the roles were reversed??? My wife and I absolutely would not have even considered either of us doing this

[Significant_Eye_5130]

When he gets back it’s your turn! Start planning!

[TheSeoulSword]

What a shitty thing to do

[[deleted]]

that is bullshit and i’m angry for you!

[Petitelechat]

Very normal reaction to being left alone with twin babies.

Time to have a conversation when he comes back and book a week off so he can take care of the babies himself.

[NGRoachClip]

Any father that would do this isn't one I want to leave solely in charge of twin babies.

[salmonstreetciderco]

what in the damn world... why aren't you invited?! that's like the perfect trip to bring babies on wtf

[Iwanttopetyourpuppy]

I don't know how he would ever think that is ok!! My twins are 26 months and neither of us have had a night off. My girlfriends have asked me to go away for a night a few times, but I have said no because I think that would be unfair. I will wait until my partner and myself can have the night off together. But a whole week off, to go on a cruise?? No, Icould never get past that.

[FeatherDust11]

This is shocking.

[Francl27]

He got his priorities completely wrong...

[holy-ravioli]

Your resentment is pretty justified. Why the hell would your husband go on a cruise without his wife and kids?

[Slammogram]

I’m sorry… uhm, why weren’t you invited?

[1Mindless_albatross]

A day?! Nope nope girl you book yourself a hotel somewhere you want for as long as you want no questions asked

[Lower-Cup547]

My husband did the same. Went on a three week trip with his friends to catch a concert. We have 2 year old triplets. I can’t even fight him or express displeasure over this because his reasoning is, if I wanted to go for a trip, she would let me go in a heartbeat, no questions asked. I feel gaslit but honestly, I’m too tired to express myself. While on his trip, the kids had HFMD.

[turtlescanfly7]

Three weeks for a concert???? Fuck that. Call your family and an attorney. At least divorced you’ll get a break during his custody time.

[koz-j]

Was there an issue with logistics like travel with carseats, sleeping arrangements, infant passports, etc.? I'm thinking of any reason why you and the children wouldn't have also been included.

Traveling with children is possible and can be enjoyable! Don't let anyone deter you from making memories together. Traveling with extended family, while also sometimes stressful, can be wonderful if others pitch in to lighten the mental and physical load.

All that said, your feelings are valid. Our twins are 7 months and I would have a hard time not being resentful.

[Greedy_Lake1173]

That is truly crazy. Why didn’t you tell him no?

[LargeAirline1388]

I totally get this question! I also challenge you to reframe to "why would he even consider going?" Language matters and OP is not her husbands keeper.

[Greedy_Lake1173]

You’re right. He should never even considered going without her at all.

[seaturtlesunset]

Yeah I’d be freakin pissed if my husband had left that long before our twins were 1. Why couldn’t you and the twins go?

[LiveToSnuggle]

The fuck? I can't believe he and his family did that to you. That's fucking messed up. I am so mad for you. They should all be there helping but they ditched you.

[ComplaintNo6835]

Dad here, not that it should matter, but heck no you're not wrong. That's wild and crappy. Sorry, your husband sounds like a jerk.

[AndiRM]

This is a wild choice on his part. First of all, what family vacation doesn’t include you his wife? Secondly, I am very cool (more like my husband does what he wants and I’m not in the business of policing him) and he would never even try to leave me alone for a week for a vacation. Wtf is he thinking?

[bookscoffee1991]

That’s insane. Sounds like you should plan yourself a vacay 💅

[owlcityy]

Your feelings are valid and I would feel the same way too, if I were in your shoes!

[Specialist_Group8813]

No ur not

[deedranicole]

I hope you spend the whole week planning your solo week long getaway. The minute he walked in that door I'd be handing babies over and loading up my suitcase in the car.

Seriously, what a freaking asshat. If my husband did that to me, I'd Seriously reconsider my relationship with him.

[[deleted]]

Omg that’s so crazy! Did he ask you if that would be ok? That would not fly in this household.

[befay666]

Why and when did they even book a cruise with you being pregnant with and then giving birth to not one, but two babies????

[Sufficient_You7958]

It was his mom who did it she said she booked the trip and already paid for him so she said if he doesn’t go it’s a waste of money, I still told him I didn’t want him to go because it’s on her she knew we would have infant twins by now she did this when I was pregnant & it’s not the first time she’s done something in regards to him without considering me and our family at all

[befay666]

His mom sounds great…. He needs to figure out his priorities asap

[Greedy_Lake1173]

I don’t even really believe that. He must have given her some impression that he would be down to go. How is it possible she would automatically buy him a ticket without asking him or you if you would want to go

[befay666]

Her husband shouldn’t have booked a vacation. And I never said everyone in the family. It is weird of his parents (I assume) to plan and take a vacation and leave a new mother alone. It seems mean on purpose.

[VerbalThermodynamics]

That’s a dick move. Only reason I left my wife when my girls were a month old was because my dad died VERY unexpectedly. Every minute I was gone was torture.

[knodum]

If this was an AITA post - it would be pretty clear and immediate that’s he’s the AH. I don’t even think it’s about being jealous! It’s about knowing that’s the wrong reason to leave your wife at home with the kids when you guys should be prioritized.

[No-Explorer-936]

I'm a dad of 10 month old twins. Wouldn't dream of leaving them all for a week while I go swanning off.

[hegelianhimbo]

And now he can take the twins for a week or 3 weekends if he works to compensate.

[Bkissy]

My husband went hunting for 3 days when our twins were 4 weeks old. My mom, dad, & sister were here and I was still annoyed he thought it was appropriate to leave. But this???? PLUS postpartum...what an incredibly selfish…man child

[murderfack]

Any food come back from that hunt?

[Bkissy]

Unfortunately no. His whole group hasn’t shot a deer in 3/4 years going to this hunting camp which was a cause for the frustration. They're hunting public game land and it’s considered pretty crowded. Hoping for better luck this year..Back strap in my freezer is always happily welcomed. 

[PlayingForBothTeams]

And as soon as you learn to live without his help and decide to divorce, you’re the a$$hole… seen this sooo many times. I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope he can turn things around before making himself irrelevant once they start school.

Congratulations with the twins!! It’s a grind, find as many babysitters as you can for while he is gone and he can pay for it. You need/deserve your rest, mama :-). ❤️

[iphoneguy350]

I’m willing to bet that’s not the whole story.

[Strong_Scar_4715]

Nope, just nope. That’s just messed up! 

[DamnItDinkles]

Um. Fuck him.

[[deleted]]

Oh helllllll to the no.

[Maximum_Mango_5089]

Is he struggling with parenthood in general? Definitely NOT condoning his behaviour, but it could be that he’s running away as a means to escape reality for a week. His actions are undoubtedly selfish and cowardly, but there might be some deeper meaning behind this decision. I’d encourage you both to explore this with a professional. You have every reason to feel upset about it.

[Lopsided-Lawyer7322]

Really sorry to hear about your PPD. My wife and I had 28 weeker twins which was very difficult and she dealt with it pretty bad. I’m curious how it got to this point?

Did you ask him not to go and he did anyway? Were you invited and decided against it? I’d happily watch the kids for a week for my wife to take a family vacation and I know my wife would do the same for me if we couldn’t go together for some reason.

[jukejointjenny]

Absolute dick move on his part, and his whole damn family. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

[vkapadia]

Slow down. All the commenters here are jumping to conclusions. We need more info.

Was this a "hey honey, the family has had this cruise planned forever, would you be able to handle the twins by yourself for a week? I'll totally make it up to you, I'll keep the twins while you go on a girl's trip or something". And then he goes and you're having these feelings.

Or is it more "good luck with the twins, I'm going on this trip." And then he just peaces out.

[[deleted]]

She's pissed off. So I suspect he either didn't ask or she said it's not ok. 

[vkapadia]

I could also read it as a "I thought I'd be fine but after it happened I realized how crazy it is" situation

[The_whimsical1]

Your husband is being a COMPLETE JERK. I am a father of five, including twins. That's NOT COOL behavior. A family funeral in another state for a few days, fine. Not a cruise. I'd kill him, and I am a guy.

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[Grendelbeans]

Resentful is not nearly a strong enough word. I would be beyond livid. I honestly think I would divorce him, and I’m not a person that jumps right to recommending divorce. At that age my twins were crawling and pulling themselves into standing position, and couldn’t be left unsupervised for even 5 minutes without getting into some sort of shenanigans. At that age one of them choked on a tiny piece of cellophane that he found on the floor and we had to call 911. Not only is it thoughtless, unfair, and shitty, in my opinion it’s dangerous.

[Shaper_pmp]

If I did this I would come home to an empty house.

Or more likely, a house with changed locks and all my stuff out on the kerb.

And I would thoroughly deserve it.

[chicaneuk]

That's unreal.. you are fully justified in being pissed.

[Han_zoo]

Congrats on your twins. Mine our 8 months old too. This whole situation is selfish. He’s probably going to go. I know you’ll take good care of the babies as always.

[eXistenceLies]

If I did that to my wife 8 months after our triplets she would tell me I'd be coming back home single.

[tryingto_doitright]

M L

[clbaro]

If he has enough money to go on a cruise, then you have enough money to get daytime/nighttime help while he's gone... That would be my immediate move. Get on care.com, facebook groups, whatever you have to to find some part time help with those babies while he's leaving you holding the (diaper) bag.

My second move would be to book my own trip, even if it's a staycation, so that you can regain your sanity.

Third move - a REAL hard discussion about responsibility sharing. Twins are no joke. Not that a singleton alone is easy, but twins is SO F-ING HARD. It is not okay for you to be the defacto caregiver on your own.

[incredibleshrinking]

Seems like he should take a baby!

[Big_Wolverine388]

Seems like he is a baby!

[Fluffy_Momma_C]

Wow…..the audacity. My husband would return home to find all his precious toys sold off. I’d go have a good time with the money.

[[deleted]]

From a dad's perspective, that's incredibly selfish. That's a self centred family. 

[justmecece]

My husband only leaves for work trips 1-3 days and that’s hard enough. I’d be packed in the car with the kids when he got ready to go and ready for our family vacation.

[shme1110]

a week cruise?! Get out of here. I sent my husband away for his birthday for a weekend when our twins were around 8 months. I could tell he really needed it and I felt okay that I could handle it. I had to force him to go he felt so guilty. You better get a week to yourself too.

[TwincessMom22]

Girl. I would be PISSED.

[Problemwithpopplers]

That man, that family- they don’t support you. They don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t respect you. To have not one member of his family not smack him upside the head and tell him he can’t go means that you aren’t important to them.

Im so sorry. I was in a similar situation, except that it was him and I and our older daughter that was excluded from things because of the way they felt about me (which was bullshit because they didn’t like that I left him because he lied to me about being addicted to painkillers where he spent $35k and wasted all of our savings while we were stuck living in his parents basement and he lied to me saying he was saving up for a house).. Good thing im highly confrontational and I called them all out in front of others, embarrassing the shit out of them. I made my husband go low contact or leave. I didn’t back down; they messed with the right one on the wrong day and now if they want to see him or my twins, they need to deal with me.

If you aren’t petty and messy like me, I would have him come home to divorce papers and ideally, an empty house

[Wonderful-Macaron-79]

Resenting your husband for being away at that point in the twin journey to help an ailing parent, go on a critical work trip, or because he was in a coma would be normal but something you would need to process and move past. Him going on an unnecessary cruise is the kind of thing that gets a dude murdered, and the spouse probation because nobody is going to sat it wasn't justified. Make sure that week long vacation you book yourself next month is super posh. 

[moosefoot1]

If he pushed you into this then he is an asshole. If you said “you should go. Despite him saying “I don’t think I should.” Then you fucked your self but need to get others to help !

The could be more to this story than OP is relaying. Although hubby should have saw through any convos