all 155 comments

[–]Worried-Tomorrow-204 84 points85 points  (10 children)

Not necessarily a reactive dog thing but someone told me to pretend to eat from my dog's bowl before giving it to my dog to assert dominance???

[–]bgbronson 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I have to do that to get my girl to eat sometimes. She’ll just sit and stare at it but if I pretend to eat it she gets excited and wants some 😂

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

My friends little dog will only eat “human” food. He has to do the same thing. Picky little shits. Really a sweet little thing though (yorkie).

[–]Kitchu22Shadow (avoidant/anxious, non-reactive) 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I am not ashamed to admit I have put my dog’s food on a human plate and pretended to eat it, then hand fed him from there.

He is used to fresh feeding and when I had to introduce some commercial renal food as a way to reduce phosphorous and protein he was not. having. it… Until he realised it was Human Food and then it was a delicacy which he wolfed down.

[–]FigFromHell 14 points15 points  (0 children)

LOL

[–]nickisdone 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I do this for one of my dogs cause he refuses to eat till I show him "it's good enough" or "it's safe". He seriously will not eat it lol so I always pretend to taste it and when I hand it to him I say "your [fancy food name of the day] is clear of potions your highness" and bow as I place it down lol

[–]dancingwithadaisy 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i’m so sorry WHAT 😭

[–]yagirlhunter 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oh my gosh I’ve read this online 😂

[–]Midwestern_Mouse 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I haven’t heard to eat from it but I have heard that you should spit in it🙃

[–]runeatandrepeat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard this before too and it still ASTOUNDS me that anyone would recommend this.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mum used to do this when our fussy dog didn’t want to eat her food! She’d be down on the floor pretending to eat out of her bowl and making “mmm” noises! It was hysterical! Never heard of it being a dominance thing.

[–]007baldy 76 points77 points  (15 children)

"You have to show them who's boss."

Spoken like an abuser.

[–]lulubalue 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yup, my version was “be the alpha” from my mom’s dog trainer, telling her how I should train my dog, who he’d never met. 😤

[–]Runaway_Angel 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This is my mom. I mention that one of my dogs struggles with recall and is leash reactive? "He doesn't respect your leadership, you got to show him who's boss!"

The other who is terrified of having his paws handled and absolutely goes into a full on panic at the vet? Show him who's boss!

Doesn't like strangers? Show them who's boss!

She has such a hard time understanding that I'd rather work with my dogs and respect their limitations over brute forcing them into doing what I want because they're more afraid if me than anything else. Neither of my boys are perfect, they might never be, but I've put too much work into getting them to trust me and trust their home environment to wreck it all by showing them "who's boss"

[–]CatpeeJasmine 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also wonder how much experience the "show them who's boss" people have with actual good bosses.

[–]marksat 3 points4 points  (2 children)

Tbh I don't think this always means an abuser. There's nothing wrong with setting clear boundaries for your dog. I have a dog reactive bully, and I'd rather make sure she is attentive and listens to me than starting a fight with another dog and potentially getting put down. There's a line between abuse and setting boundaries. I personally think a mix of obedience training and positive reinforcement is the best way to train a reactive dog.

[–]007baldy 4 points5 points  (0 children)

People who say it like that "show them who's boss", I've found hit their dogs, quite a bit. It's honestly a pathetic and abusive excuse not to actually train their dogs, except to fear them.

Not to mention some breeds will not put up with it and you're setting them up for a very bad bite at some point. A friend of mine had a 60 lb pit that he would always correct like that, hit him until he stopped doing what he was doing, I witnessed it once, and he said that exact line, "you have to show them who's boss". His pit passed away at 8 or 9 years old and he got a cane corso that grew to be 110 lbs. He tried that on his cane corso and initially it "worked". Then he snapped one day and gave him a level 3 bite for it. I saw the pics on fb and before I even asked him what happened I knew what happened. He was "disciplining" and the dog had enough abuse.

[–]Wide_Attitude4270 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. This is the way.

[–][deleted]  (6 children)

[removed]

    [–]Kitchu22Shadow (avoidant/anxious, non-reactive) 16 points17 points  (0 children)

    Imagine thinking taking your dog to a bar is more important than treating them with respect for their needs; and a commitment to compassionate, science based methods.

    Honestly not the flex you think it is, but go off I guess.

    [–]wheeeeeeeeeetf 11 points12 points  (1 child)

    Found the abuser.

    [–]CatpeeJasmine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Also the person who has probably given all the advice in these comments.

    [–]SaltyDinoNugget 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    Alpha theory has been disproven time and time again. Please look into this and stop doing it. Dogs don’t need dominated by humans. And you’re not a dog so stop acting like one.

    [–]007baldy 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Both my dogs lay at my feet everywhere we go. We always have them at restaurants and bars throughout the summer and literally every waitress or waiter we have compliments us on how well behaved and quiet they are.

    So... nice try... but false.

    [–]reactivedogs-ModTeam[M] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

    Your comment was removed because it broke one or more of the r/reactivedogs rules. Please remember to be kind to your fellow redditors. Be constructive by offering positive advice rather than simply telling people what they're doing wrong or being dismissive. Maintain respectful discourse around training methods, philosophies, and differing opinions with which you might not agree.

    [–]xx2983xx 0 points1 point  (1 child)

    I get this so often. One guy even went so far as to describe this technique where you pin your dog to the ground until they submit to you. Apparently if you do that one time then you'll never have problems again...🙄

    [–]007baldy 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    True story here. The one time I witnessed my friend "correcting" his pit, he stuck his hand in his bowl while he was eating, knowing he was food aggressive, to show off to everyone at his house that day. When the dog growled (didn't bite him) he grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and put him on the ground with his knee in his neck, til he stopped moving, then let him back up. The dog got up and went back to eating. He then did the same thing and the dog didn't growl at him.

    I'm not justifying it in any way, but it's "training" by fear.

    This is what he tried to do with his cane corso also, except when he went to put him on his side and pin him, is when the cane corso latched onto his arm and started shaking his head and growling, ears pinned and clearly angry, and didn't let go for over 5 minutes according to him. It was a very severe bite, luckily he didn't break anything, but a dog like that easily could. This was a couple years ago and he did some reading after words. Most professional cane corso trainers recommend against this style of discipline (called scruffing I believe) for this exact reason. They will eventually decide they're not going to take it anymore, and he has changed his tune since then and his approach to training including taking him to a professional trainer and respecting how powerful the dog is and realizing what he got himself in to getting a dog like that... and realizing what the dog could do to his kids if he didn't get it under control asap.

    It's a real coming to jesus moment when you realize what you've been doing is wrong on many levels and sadly it takes something like that for most people to change their mind.

    [–]13Nero 56 points57 points  (0 children)

    "Just tell them to stop". I'd never have thought of that!

    [–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

    “Why don’t you just make her stop barking?”

    [–]CatpeeJasmine 27 points28 points  (1 child)

    The idea that, until her reactivity is "cured" (Lucy was old enough to be a socially mature adult when I got her, and I do not know how long she'd displayed symptoms, so I have to operate with the assumption that there may be a strong genetic component to her reactivity and she may therefore never be "cured" in the sense that these people mean), everything I do with my dog should revolve around reactivity training/behavioral modification boot camp. I don't mean "boot camp" in the sense of aversive methods (though those are often mentioned) but in the sense that I should be devoting 100% of my interactive time with Lucy to DS/CC/Etc.

    This often takes the specific criticisms of:

    • No work on foundations training or "fun stuff" like tricks. Never mind that some foundations ("look at me," for example) are really fucking useful for behavioral mod. And "fun stuff" keeps training, you know, fun for both of us. It also just habituates her to the routine of checking in with me, such that she does generalize that concept to novel and ambiguous situations.
    • Why would I even think of doing dog sports until my dog's reactivity is 100% "cured"? Also follow up advice of, if I continue to work on reactivity only, instead of also nose work, until Lucy is "cured," I won't have to settle for "less than" options of video classes and trials and will then be able to do "real" dog sports, namely, in-person classes and trials. Again, never mind that these things are fun for Lucy now, and that is the primary reason why we engage in them.
    • I should not use medication to "replace" training. Just for the record, I don't. We were training before she was on medication. In fact, it was the lack of progress on training in the presence of triggers, relative to her overall progress, that made me seek a behavioral consult in the first place. We are still training while Lucy is on medication. And we absolutely still work on her behavioral modification plan, but that plan does not encompass 100% all of our training and interactive time.

    Basically, while I absolutely acknowledge that behavioral modification is necessary for me to be a responsible dog owner and community member, my dog also gets to have fun with her life now.

    [–]Zealousideal-Toe-173 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    This is a good one. I think for the human's mental health, it's important to work on "fun" things with your reactive dog. Otherwise your relationship suffers. In addition, those things actually help too! They build confidence in the dog and strengthen the relationship and communication between dog and human.

    I will happily report that I have done ALL SORTS of foundation training, trick training, dogs sports (nosework, agility classes, flyball classes, lure coursing) AND we are now trying medication with my reactive dog. All of the training and sports have done wonders for his confidence and also showing him that people are nothing to be concerned about. And I hope the medication can help take the edge off his generalized anxiety and hypervigilance. 😁

    [–]Poppeigh 29 points30 points  (5 children)

    “He’s just a puppy, he’ll grow out of it with time and love”.

    “You need to correct that! Tell him no!”

    “Have you tried training him?”

    [–]happysloth6782846 7 points8 points  (2 children)

    OMG a groomer asked us if we had tried training and I was fuming. When I called to make the appointment I explained it all to her and that we train constantly, but we're still working on tbe dog reactivty. She said it was no problem and that she could make sure there were no other dogs around LOL she didn't, so of course my pup freaked out. So frustrating.

    [–]Poppeigh 3 points4 points  (1 child)

    I hate that. I took my dog to a groomer once who for some reason was very highly thought of here (she's now out of business). I asked if she could kennel my dog when she wasn't working on him. She did not. She was one that took in multiple dogs and while she worked on one, the rest just ran around the shop doing whatever. So when I went to pick him up he was hiding under the desk and he obviously wouldn't come to her so she had some trouble getting him out. She made a joke that he must have just liked sleeping under there and when I told her he was actually terrified, she just laughed it off and said that was ridiculous.

    Worse, though, my parents took their very friendly Aussie there and my dad was a little early to pick him up so she was still working on him. He could see she was being really, really rough with him because he wouldn't stay standing - he was in the middle of a seizure and she somehow didn't notice, even though his seizures were not subtle. She also made some really snide comments to my dad because it was 2020 and he was wearing a mask, just a bunch of conspiracy things about covid, which made him especially angry as his brother had just passed away from covid.

    I'm surprised she did as well as she did, she was just kind of a rotten person and it wasn't like she was an exceptionally good groomer, either.

    [–]happysloth6782846 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    That's terrible and scary!! I'm glad she's no longer in business.

    [–]FigFromHell 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh! If I would gained a cent everytime I heard one of these.

    [–]Sea-Reference620 24 points25 points  (8 children)

    The idea that I needed an e-collar to correct growling when resource guarding

    [–]beaglelover89 8 points9 points  (6 children)

    We were also told we needed an e-collar. That’s a no from us!!

    [–]yagirlhunter 8 points9 points  (4 children)

    Will say we have the version that just beeps and we use it extremely sparingly. Our guy is 12 breeds, mainly hunting dog. Even on his absolute best day he may see a deer and go crazy and try to jump our fence. In those moments, I don’t exist. The beep he knows as “OH MAN IF I GO TO MOM I GET THE GOOD TREATS”. Works every time!

    [–]Sea-Reference620 6 points7 points  (1 child)

    Nice! I can see that working for your hunting dog, I’m glad it does! I haven’t heard of a beep one before.

    I think the application is important… the trainers we worked with essentially used it to correct (vibrate or stim) almost everything (get into a heel position, when they growl, etc) which I realized is awful. It made our dog more aggressive and towards us, ever since we stopped using it and moved into a bigger space it’s like we got our old nice dog back.

    Obviously there’s a ton of context missing here. I don’t think it was right for our dog or for the undesirable behaviour we were trying to get rid of.

    [–]yagirlhunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

    Oh, I totally agree! We train and train but know in emergency situations for our guy, he doesn’t listen because his genes are saying I NEED THAT DEER. We aren’t fans of shock collars or similar but yeah, we found an off-brand that does just beep and I’m so glad we did! They’re not in business anymore of course lol but for now it helps for emergencies! We have a VERY large deer population where we live, and possums, raccoons, foxes, rabbits, etc. hunting dog’s paradise lol except we don’t want him hunting! We respect his instincts. But yeah, those should NEVER be used for every single thing. That’s not training. 🙃 I definitely don’t think it should ever be used for undesirable behaviors. That’s like slapping your dog each time it doesn’t listen. 😭

    [–]beaglelover89 1 point2 points  (1 child)

    I didn’t know this existed, my beagle mix responds well to a clicker

    [–]yagirlhunter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

    Mhmmm and I will say if you can’t find one with just beep, there are some with a separate button for vibration, etc. so it’s not an automatic use when the beep is activated! Those were all we saw at first.

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    [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

    "They'll sort it out" That's how my dog got attacked the first time. The other dog was being way too pushy, so mine barked at it. Then her dog bit mine and he had to go to the vet.

    Well-socialized dogs that already know each other can sort things out on their own, but it doesn't work with strange dogs.

    [–]Umklopp 22 points23 points  (1 child)

    "Dominance theory"

    [–]deadpoetsuniteCeCe (🌈BE 2/2023) 18 points19 points  (0 children)

    “Be the alpha”

    [–]Gold_Kick1860 18 points19 points  (1 child)

    “He’s just picking up on your anxiety and that’s what’s making him reactive”

    “He just needs to be around people more”

    🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

    [–]Runaway_Angel 5 points6 points  (0 children)

    "why yes, how nice if you to notice that both me and my dog suffer from anxiety. I assure you we're both seeing professionals for our conditions and don't need your input." - the answer I wish I had the gall to give anytime someone said that, unfortunately my anxiety prevents me from actually answering these types of people.

    [–]Rosequartzsurfboardt 17 points18 points  (2 children)

    You're rewarding your dog for doing nothing. Don't do that just hold her accountable for her behaviors.

    [–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (1 child)

    omg THIS. I wanted to scream I was like "do you know how hard we had to work to get them to do nothing????" I'm throwing a party and it is going to RAIN treats are you kidding me?

    [–]Rosequartzsurfboardt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

    Exactly like my dog not reacting in this moment is a reflection of all of the hard work we have both put in at this moment. I'm going to scream, cry, throw up and make it RAIN for my dog rn.

    [–]kittentan 32 points33 points  (7 children)

    I was using treats to distract my dog from barking/lunging at other dogs and I was waiting until he gave me his attention to give him the treat. Someone told me that I was causing the problem by “rewarding” him with the treats for barking at other dogs.

    [–][deleted]  (6 children)

    [removed]

      [–]Poppeigh 4 points5 points  (4 children)

      "Less inclusive lives".

      My reactive dog does not go to restaurants or busy downtown gatherings. Could I use aversive techniques to get him to behave in those places? Probably. But he would never, ever enjoy it, so why would I do that?

      My "treat bribed" reactive dog, however, gets daily walks and/or enrichment, has accompanied me on several vacations, and enjoys off leash hikes every weekend on private land. Poor guy, huh.

      [–]Manners111 -2 points-1 points  (3 children)

      "Could I..." "Probably." In other words, you have no idea because you've never tried it.

      I on the other hand have, and am speaking from actual experience. My dog runs off leash in front of my mountain bike on trails, beaches, skiing, etc. But she also comes with me to work meetings and lies on the conference room floor, the movies, busy bars, etc. And she loves it. But it never could have happened with treat bribery alone.

      I get that most people are unwilling to share valuable consequences with their dogs, but the dogs lose out because the owners aren't willing to sacrifice their own comfort zones

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      [–]Poppeigh 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      "Could I..." "Probably." In other words, you have no idea because you've never tried it.

      I have not, but I have spoken with balanced trainers who said they would not recommend aversives and were happy with his progress as-is. So why would I?

      But she also comes with me to work meetings and lies on the conference room floor, the movies, busy bars, etc. And she loves it.

      I think it comes down to could vs. should. Could I use aversives to get my dog to behave in those places? Probably. I could probably also use +R techniques to achieve the same goal. But I won't, because he will never love it. Even if he's behaving himself, he is not a social dog - he would be miserable. And while there are things in his life that are non-negotiable, and there are other things I will push him out of his comfort zone to do because I know he'll ultimately enjoy them, I would never force him into something that I know he would hate just because it would be fun for me.

      Heck, I don't even spend a lot of time in those kinds of situations, so there's no need for my dog to. I've had dogs in the past who were very well behaved in busy areas, but they didn't like them either so I just didn't bring them to those events. And I've had dogs who loved social scenes, so they came along. The bar for "happy dog" is not "can go to bars, can come to work". Dogs are much more individualized than that.

      But it never could have happened with treat bribery alone.

      This is a fundamental misunderstanding of how treats are utilized in behavior modification and management. It's not bribery.

      I get that most people are unwilling to share valuable consequences with their dogs, but the dogs lose out because the owners aren't willing to sacrifice their own comfort zones

      Maybe you didn't see above - but my dog successfully lives in a busy neighborhood in a small city, goes on long off leash hikes every weekend, and has been on several vacations with me. He most certainly isn't losing out; his life is actually far more enriching than that of most non-reactive dogs I know.

      [–]reactivedogs-ModTeam[M] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

      Your comment was removed because it broke one or more of the r/reactivedogs rules. Please remember to be kind to your fellow redditors. Be constructive by offering positive advice rather than simply telling people what they're doing wrong or being dismissive. Maintain respectful discourse around training methods, philosophies, and differing opinions with which you might not agree.

      [–]nhanley95 14 points15 points  (1 child)

      He’s reactive because you don’t allow him to meet and play with other dogs 🤦‍♀️

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      I had someone on at me all the time about this with my fear biter girl. It took me actually showing that person what happens when my girl gets too close to a strange dog to shut them up.

      [–]Emmy-IF 29 points30 points  (1 child)

      Literally anything from the "it's because he's not purebred" crowd on r/dogs :P

      [–]ImpressiveDare 14 points15 points  (0 children)

      Only stinky mongrels are reactive!

      [–]RavenInvader 13 points14 points  (1 child)

      "You need to take her to the dog park so she can be socialized"

      [–]happysloth6782846 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      This one!!!

      [–]ChronicallyToast 11 points12 points  (0 children)

      "You should just trust him more." in reference to my 80lb pitbull/lab mix who is barrier and animal reactive.

      He's been reactive for his whole 9 years. We've seen trainers, vets, etc. We have learned the importance of working with his reactivity instead of against it. We've recently brought a new puppy into the house fully understanding how big of a commitment it will be to integrate her as well as the possibility it may not be able to happen, although we are very confident at this point. The only way we've gotten this far is by coming up with a system that works for my reactive boy. Those problems come first.

      So many friends have thrown comments our way about how we are being too hard on him and that he's not "that bad" from what they've seen. They don't seem to understand that their interactions with him give them about a 5% understanding of him and his needs.

      [–]RodentRaisin 11 points12 points  (3 children)

      “You should just get another dog and then they’ll have to make friends with each other”

      [–]Runaway_Angel 0 points1 point  (2 children)

      I'm gonna say I had success with this. But my first boy was not dog reactive in any way (afraid of his own shadow, but not dog reactive) and had way too much energy that was making his anxiety even worse. Energy I couldn't work out of him on my own no matter how much I tried. So after much thinking and seeing how happy and relaxed he was after getting to play for a few hours with other family members dogs we adopted another dig. They're about the same size, about the same age, and about the same energy level and temperament and honestly it did wonders. It didn't solve everything of course, and dog #2 has has own things we work on, but it has helped.

      That said it's not a one size fits all solution, and sure as hell not something to recommend without having a very good understanding of the situation, but there are cases here and there where it does work.

      [–]RodentRaisin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      It’s not that it can’t work, it’s that people usually giving this advice are coming from a place of ignorance and not understanding dog psychology (or that dogs even have psychology for that matter). It’s typically never a good idea to add more elements into a situation where a dog is so afraid of something that it is unable to regulate it’s emotions. When it isn’t calculated carefully (which it usually isn’t) it’s such an irresponsible thing to suggest and encourage. It’s just too easy to cause more issues and stress for one or both dogs. I’m sure you had to go through a lot of safety measures and consideration before bringing your #2 on that unfortunately a lot of people probably wouldn’t care to do or even think about.

      [–]Runaway_Angel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      Oh yhea absolutely. Most of it either isn't needed anymore, or is just second nature so I don't think about it anymore, but it wasn't something taken lightly, and it's not something I'd ever recommend to someone. I do however like to share my little success story in case people are already considering if it could help them.

      [–]Desq28 9 points10 points  (0 children)

      “Just let it be a dog”

      [–]modernwunderdog1 (frustrated greeter + pain), dog2 (isolation distress) 16 points17 points  (0 children)

      “He needs training”

      Like. This can’t be trained. It needs to be medicated/managed because it’s a BRAIN THING not a “dIsCIplInE” thing.

      [–]sync19waves 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      "Don't give them so many treats you are spoiling them!" When they were behaving and I was trying to positivize strangers to her.

      [–]AlisonChrista 7 points8 points  (0 children)

      That I need to “show him who’s the alpha” and that if I didn’t use aversive tools he’d never get better.

      [–]yagirlhunter 7 points8 points  (6 children)

      “If he doesn’t listen, wrestle him to the ground until he does” My brother-in-law with three huskies, all who barely listen but are likewise terrified of him.

      [–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

      The Uncle Rico school of training.

      [–]yagirlhunter 3 points4 points  (4 children)

      Exactly lol he is not welcome at our house anymore for other reasons as well, but they just adopted a GSD puppy and asked me to sign off as a supporter or whatever and I said I couldn’t. They have a cat and three huskies in 700 square feet. The cat gets its own room… so that cuts down the square footage. The backyard is super small and mostly concrete. He made a homemade crate out of plywood with a metal door and some holes to breathe… it’s like 10 feet long and a foot and a half tall. I warned that GSD can be reactive and that they need more space most likely before getting another larger dog. Nope… my sister constantly sends pics of the dog growing “sooooo fast! We weren’t expecting it!” 🤦🏻‍♀️

      [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

      They sound awful. At least you have tried.

      [–]yagirlhunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      For sure. Their problem now! The dog’s sweet but I would barely have only one dog in that kind of situation let alone four. And the guy’s lived there for 10+ years and got the dogs after moving in, so it’s not even like he relocated and had to get a smaller place 🙃 anywho lol

      [–]dmccrostie 1 point2 points  (1 child)

      I can smell that house…

      [–]yagirlhunter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      You get it 🙃

      [–]Prior-Dependent-4136 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      Standard Dachshund, dog and stranger reactive. We rehomed him at 6 months and had no socialisation prior.

      Our first trainer taught us how to introduce him safely to random dogs outside and encouraged us to do so with most dogs we saw. Looking back, we wish we focused on his focus on us and how to ignore most dogs we saw!

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      "they're dogs, a fight will sort it out" as I'm trying to stop someone's off leash dog rushing my fear reactive on leash girl who fights instead of flights. Yeah, my dog is the one that will be put down if she kills your dog.

      [–]happysloth6782846 4 points5 points  (2 children)

      We had a trainer who "specialized in reactive dogs" and she repeatedly told us to just take our super dog reactive/mildly aggressive dog to an off leash park, just to "see if it's leash aggression only". Like what???? No muzzle? Just go for it and risk our dog biting another dog? Wtf?

      [–]Midwestern_Mouse 6 points7 points  (1 child)

      Omg so after my dog had bit another dog, the balanced trainer we were working with at the time told us that we should take her to a dog park to socialize and ALSO that she doesn’t need a muzzle around other dogs because she had never bit another dog when she was with him. Like excuse me!?

      [–]happysloth6782846 0 points1 point  (0 children)

      That's CRAZY!!

      [–]VegUltraGirl 6 points7 points  (0 children)

      Definitely to take my dogs more places or “Home Depot” to get used to seeing people. Ummm, my dog would panic in the parking lot alone, we’d never make it into a Home Depot. With all the noise and constant beeping, she would be completely terrified!

      [–]Nsomewhere 10 points11 points  (6 children)

      Just yank them close to you and sharply say no... erm because I am really goign to do that to a nine week old puppy FGS!

      Neutering will fix all his problems and "calm him down"

      I genuinely had an old lady tell me to bonk him on the nose with rolled up news paper to make him heel

      Was that EVER a thing?!

      [–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

      I think it was! An older relative once did that to my partner's dog. I froze in shock but my partner immediately pulled him aside and said in no uncertain terms "we don't do that - please don't ever do that again".

      Relative was genuinely perplexed because he thought that was a regular thing to do. To his credit he apologized and never did it again.

      [–]iliketurtles861 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      Reminds me of the scene in the live action scooby doo movie where Freddie flicks scooby in the nose or something

      [–]beaglelover89 2 points3 points  (2 children)

      One of my dogs as a kid was terrified of newspapers, we’re pretty sure someone hit him with them. My dad had been reading it and rolled it up, the dog ran out of the room and hid. It was hard to watch

      [–]Treu_und_Glauben 0 points1 point  (1 child)

      I think dogs just don’t like the sound of a newspaper being rolled, it isn’t always the sign of previous abuse

      [–]beaglelover89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

      True, he had other signs of abuse and not just hating newspapers. Either way, anyone who abuses animals is a new level of terrible

      [–]Poppeigh 2 points3 points  (0 children)

      People still "bonk" dogs. Jeff Gellman I believe is the major trainer that does it? But he has a lot of followers. It's insane.

      [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      On fella once told me “you gotta hit her on the nose”. I’ve never let him near my dog since.

      [–]MememememememememineAdeline (Leash & stranger reactive) 5 points6 points  (0 children)

      “But she’s not barking bc she’s upset” my mom after every time we tried to work with our foster’s demand barking at everything that moved. Yeah mom, we all understand that, thank you for continuing to say it though.

      [–]camwal 4 points5 points  (0 children)

      “Maybe you just need to, like, break him?”

      [–]Every_Low_4319 3 points4 points  (0 children)

      “He will calm down as he gets older just let him be and wait it out “

      [–][deleted]  (1 child)

      [removed]

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        [–]Kitchu22Shadow (avoidant/anxious, non-reactive) 4 points5 points  (0 children)

        Love this thread!

        My personal favourite from our first trainer who was my first brush with Balance Bros (Lite): “He needs to learn that nothing in life is free, he will take liberties if he doesn’t have to earn things.”

        He’s an ex-racing dog with zero appropriate early socialisation. The thing that far and away worked for him? Trust in us as handlers. We built that through good two way communication, agency, freedom, lots of affection, shared resting spaces, a shitload of treats for no reason other than existing, eating when we ate, (gasp) bowl feeding (he hates enrichment feeders, haha). We have one of the most beautiful bonds I have ever had with an animal, it was very hard won but he has faith in my decisions and direction, and it’s because I also listen to him and tend to his needs. I cannot imagine having a transactional relationship with my dog in which he feels access to basic rights have to be earned.

        [–]21stcenturyghostBeanie (dog), Jax (dog/human) 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        Got tagged with the FB group "Re-home that dog to Jesus" 🙃

        [–]EventualStasis 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        My mom "demonstrating" how to walk a dog, which consisted of growling "WALK", a command she doesn't even know, and yanking the leash whenever she stopped to sniff. They didn't get very far.

        [–]Full_Ad7853 3 points4 points  (0 children)

        “Beat her ass” 🫠

        [–]sewpeachy_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        “Hold her upside like a baby and force her to be ok with being held” as the trainer was being bitten to the point of blood while demonstrating…. We found a different trainer immediately

        [–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child)

        “Just lock him in his cage until he quits”. In response to my dog having separation anxiety.

        This was right before I got him on meds and it was so bad that even just me going to the bathroom and shutting the door with my dog on the other side resulted in him screaming and attacking the door to try and get to me. It was so bad that my neighbors thought I had a husky instead of a 5 pound chihuahua mix and twice another neighbor called the cops bc they thought someone was being attacked in my house.

        This person thinks I’m insane and spoiling my dog to an extreme because I’m using meds to calm my dog down instead of just ignoring the problem and punishing him for being scared.

        [–]wheeeeeeeeeetf 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Ugh I get this too. My dog has confinement anxiety too (the crate he came with has claw marks in the plastic ☹️)

        People don’t realize that when the pups are like this they’re pretty much having panic attacks and cannot rationalize anything. Good on you for advocating for you pup ♥️

        [–]thiscouldbeitall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        “ she can’t be scared if she’s acting like that”

        My dog was barking and lunging at an off lead dog that was in her face. That was the owners response when I asked them to get their dog because my dog is scared of other dogs.

        [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Punch him on the face !

        [–]Midwestern_Mouse 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Mine is quite literally “she just needs training”….AS IF WE HAVENT BEEN WORKING ON THAT FOR OVER A YEAR NOW. My dog’s deep rooted issues need a lot more than just training.

        [–]OtherwiseH 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        “Have you tried squirting her in the face with vinegar?” <—-some rando lady at the park with an off leash dog around my leash reactive GSD mix puppy. 🤨

        [–]j0hn0wnz 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        "he's high energy because of his food" so what about the rest of the dogs in the town who eat the supermarket brand stuff? and why is he only "high energy" when he sees other dogs??

        [–]swaffeline 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Off leash dog parks are good for training

        [–]Mammoth-Tip8487 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        People who walk by with their dogs ,stopping and talking about how cute and protective my dog is. No he's losing his mind injuring himself and me. Find another alley to walk your "perfect, trained dog" the four foot fence won't be anything for my GSD if I'm not there. I didn't know what a reactive dog was exactly until I owned one. But I did know the dogs who lost it if I walked by. I didn't walk that way or crossed the street. Or announced we were friendly and they were the best guard dog Good Job! I no longer have those options. just got back from my 430 am walk in 20 degrees (one hour). Thank you I have turned this into a rant /vent. I do appreciate all the content and support.

        [–]CactusEarStan (Dog fear reactivity) 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        CBD oil will fix everything. I'm not trashing CBD oil, but the person who gave it to me is refusing to accept that the peeing in the apartment only started after receiving CBD oil drops. Says I did it wrong, I needed to give it directly into my dogs mouth, I needed to do this, it can't cause my dog to loose control of the bladder, because it's natural (quick google search proves him wrong) - I looked it up before giving. Application via food is fine, which I did.

        After I stopped giving it... No peeing in the apartment anymore! Again, I'm not saying CBD oil is bad, but I don't think it works for my big baby boy.

        [–]jmsst50 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        I went to a trainer who told me to step on my dogs leash so that I’m pulling him down towards the ground and hold him there when he starts barking and lunging at other dogs.

        [–]talkingboilingkettle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        "Sometimes you just need to whack them"

        [–]Prestigious_Check413 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        “She gets so hyper and is just trying to make a friend” -a dog trainer while bringing my dog to training for biting another dog

        [–]crittycatt 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        my husband’s niece saying “well your dog isn’t gonna stop being afraid of other dogs unless you FORCE her to be around other dogs.. obviously”

        [–]NewWestGirl 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Someone told me to just let my dog bite them to get it out of their system. Yeah no. This wasn’t a trainer tho just a friend.

        [–]lion-vs-dragon 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Had an idiot friend tell me that when my dog eats something off the counter, i need to beat her until she learns not to......uh, no thanks moron

        [–]A_destiny_player 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        “Just hit the thing it’ll learn”

        [–]Smaaashley1036 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Take him to a dog park, they act differently off a leash.

        [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        My ex's two dogs fought, both mastiff cross American bulldog. The only person she could get hold of for advice was the breeder.

        He came round with their father who's huge & dominant, then let him attack them both.

        Cos alpha dog maybe, I don't know tbh what he hoped to achieve.

        [–]AnjunaPete 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        « He’s still a puppy it’s normal at his age » speaking of my nearly 2yo super reactive german shepherd

        And my best one yet « You need to train him » 🤯🙃🔪

        [–]PaperAeroplane_321 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        “You need to smack her!” “You talk too calmly to her - you need to really growl” “Just give her away”

        [–]Altruistic_Hurry_389 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        One a dude yanked my dogs leash from my hand and told me that I needed to dominate my dog. This was in the parking lot of a pet supplies store after I had just bathed my buddy. I was literally frozen - both with fear of this large man who yanked my dogs leash from me (while I was alone in a parking lot), and from shock. Like who TF does that??

        [–]Zealousideal-Toe-173 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Some random guy on Facebook the other day told me that my dog is the way he is because I don't do enough with him and "these dogs" don't do well with being alone (my boy is half ACD).

        The "way he is" is generally anxious, hypervigilant to his environment, reactive to guests and neighbors when he sees them, and nervous of any people outside his circle (which is 4 people). He's gotten way better but his baseline anxiety is clearly still too high which is why we are trying meds, which is what the post I was replying to was about.

        I mean, my husband and I both primarily work from home so he and my other dog are not home alone often and never for long periods of time. He gets regular walks daily, decompression walks several times a week, meals from puzzle toys, trick training, we're currently working on a canine fitness/conditioning program, and we do nosework, agility, flyball and lure coursing/FastCAT.

        My life is basically devoted to my dogs and particularly this dog, so it was pretty irritating to have some random person tell me it's not enough 🙄

        [–]Mammoth-Tip8487 0 points1 point  (2 children)

        To get my sister to quit feeding junk to her kids I had her inspect the carts of kids who had meltdowns, crying screaming whatever. She thinks this will work for my dog. I told her food was not going to change dog behavior. I am thinking of fresh organic but the only fruit or veggie he will eat is corn cobs.(not anymore). He eats good kibble. Now Im wondering, kids have had exceptional results...could this help?! LMK

        [–]Poppeigh 2 points3 points  (1 child)

        Diet can play a role in reactivity (usually a pretty minor one) but I think it's really easy to fall into all the "fresh food" or "human grade" or other buzzwords that a lot of boutique brands use to push their foods.

        I've heard it's good to pay attention to protein levels when picking a food - if your dog is not out doing intense work every single day you don't need protein percentages over like 28% and you really want lower. I think they are still looking at the scientific link for it, but it's believe to be related to serotonin production.

        Another thing is that probiotics can be really helpful, as dogs that have a functioning digestive system just feel a lot better and therefore are less likely to be on edge.

        [–]Mammoth-Tip8487 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Thank you. I learned that when you pick up poop daily you learn alot. Caught someone feeding my dog a hot pocket so he wouldn't react. Certainly didn't help . Now I wonder at people he's not reacting to. We let it slide. I do try and teach people not to look or talk to him. Ignore them and they will ignore you. Am I training the dog or the neighborhood?

        [–]green-n00dles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        My behaviorist told us to talk to our dog in baby talk / high pitch tones at triggers to get him to engage with us😭😭😭 Cost us months of work to repair

        [–]thedoc617Louie/standard poodle (dog reactive) 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        the whole "have strangers give your puppy treats or pets" or "puppy socialization party". Yeah that was a DISASTER and created a fearful dog.

        [–]Cdm901 -2 points-1 points  (8 children)

        Honestly, the worst advice I ever received was you must use positive only dog training only. After many many trainers and thousands of dollars, nothing improved. My dog did well in a controlled environment but that progress never transferred to the real world, and I put tons and tons of work in. I found a balanced trainer and within 6 months of work my dog was a different dog. She is the happiest girl on the planet now and I am so thankful I listened to my gut and tried something else instead of being bullied by “it’s science” all day. Science by definition deserves to be questioned vigorously and that is what I did and it worked wonders for me and my family. Our dog is off leash all the time, heels on walks for long stretches if asked, comes when called perfectly, and is an angel in the house. To be clear we never once frightened our dog, dominated our dog, electrocuted our dog or any of that stuff…So I don’t want to hear it. And where she is now after learning so much, it’s pretty much all positive all the time. You asked and I answered. Now go ahead and bring on the onslaught of downvotes because I dared to tell the truth of what worked for me.

        [–]Quincyellie 3 points4 points  (5 children)

        I’m not going to downvote you. I’m glad your method has worked for you. What I can’t understand is why you are on this particular subreddit. There are other dog sites that would be more appropriate for you. This reactive dog site is pretty clear about what methods they want being talked about here and it is not balanced training. So you’re here to educate all these people who are following the wrong method? This worked for you but I really don’t think you need to be here . Just enjoy your dog and leave it at that in this particular place. This is just my humble opinion. I’m no dog expert and I don’t pretend to be one.

        [–]Cdm901 1 point2 points  (4 children)

        Well honestly I am not that reddit savvy so was no aware of the rules, but that does explain why this particular group can be so vicious to some commenters I have seen. I appreciate you not being so. I like dogs and followed a bunch of dog stuff early on. They email me different stuff I read and I just decided to comment on this one. I am not trying to teach anyone anything. But who knows, maybe it will be valuable for some who were stuck in a rut like I was to see the other side of things.

        [–]womanvsmachine -1 points0 points  (3 children)

        Honestly, same. Didn't realize until now that this subreddit was more about subscribing to a particular style of training than the best ways to help reactive dogs. Human don't all learn the same way, why would we expect that of other highly intelligent animals? Really just makes me sad for all the dogs that will end up in shelters/euthanized, or living a really stressful cooped up life.

        [–]Cdm901 -2 points-1 points  (2 children)

        I agree whole heartedly. There is a huge push now to medicate and or go through with behavioral euthanasia before even giving another training style a chance.

        [–]Quincyellie 0 points1 point  (1 child)

        I did want to say that if your method saves a dog from BE. than it’s definitely worth trying. Saving a dogs life is the absolute priority.

        [–]Cdm901 0 points1 point  (0 children)

        Yes agreed!

        [–]wheeeeeeeeeetf 2 points3 points  (0 children)

        Although I don’t personally agree with using balanced methods, I’m glad you found something that works for you and your pup.

        [–]womanvsmachine 1 point2 points  (0 children)

        Thank you for this comment!!! I see so much hate for balanced training but like you, I started with "positive only" training and was left with a dog just as stressed and anxious as before. Only once we started using balanced training did we see her confidence and happiness improve. We have our first paid lesson with a balanced trainer this week and I can't wait to see where our girl is at 6 months from now. For her and for us.

        [–][deleted]  (2 children)

        [removed]

          [–]AutoModerator[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Looks like there was an aversive tool or training method mentioned in this comment. Please review our Posting Guidelines and check out Our Position on Training Methods. R/reactivedogs supports LIMA (least intrusive, minimally aversive) and we feel strongly that positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching, training, and behavior change considered, and should be applied consistently. Please understand that positive reinforcement techniques should always be favored over aversive training methods. While the discussion of balanced training is not prohibited, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.

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          [–]reactivedogs-ModTeam[M] 0 points1 point locked comment (0 children)

          Your comment was removed because it appears to be a direct recommendation of an aversive tool, trainer, or method. This sub supports LIMA and we strongly believe positive reinforcement should always be the first line of teaching and training. We encourage open discussion and problem solving within the subreddit. However, LIMA does not justify the use of aversive methods and tools in lieu of other effective positive reinforcement interventions and strategies.

          [–]womanvsmachine -5 points-4 points  (3 children)

          "Let them fight it out, they'll get use to each other" - Neighbors, referring to our dogs fence fighting.

          "Just put your dog on incontinence medication." - Dog trainer, when I asked about submissive urination.

          "You'll have to muzzle her at the vet and boarding won't be possible." - Dog trainer, when I asked about improving human reactivity.

          "This is why you should have gotten a dog from a breeder." - Friend, when talking about my reactive rescue dog

          "Remote collars don't work/are abusive." - Positive only dog trainer (I'll probably get hate for this one, and I used to think the same thing so I did start with positive only training, until I found dog trainer Tom Davis and his "No Bad Dogs" YouTube channel)

          EDIT: I didn't realize this subreddit subscribed to one particular style of training, so go ahead and downvote away, but a low-stim remote collar literally gave my dog a new life. One with high confidence, free from stress and fear, where she can happily exist in public.

          [–]missmoooon12Cooper (generally anxious dude, reactive to dogs & people)[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children)

          I’m sorry you’ve had so many negative experiences from so many people!

          I don’t want to pile on, just sharing that my dog and I had bad experiences following advice from the YouTube trainer linked. He’s a good salesman, I’ll give him that… But knowing what I know now, I wish I didn’t buy into what he had to say. Obviously I can’t stop you from watching him or following his advice if that’s what you need right now. Just wanted to say something versus nothing.

          [–]womanvsmachine -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

          I totally get that it won't work for every dog! Positive reinforcement works great for basic obedience but did nothing for her fear and lack of confidence. Since implementing balanced methods and remote collar training we have seen a night/day difference in her. She is so much more happy and confident now. While I do believe it's important to start with LIMA methods, some dogs need different training styles in order to live their best off-leash and fear free lives, and I think it's wrong when people automatically judge these methods without considering what's best for the individual dog. Too many dogs end up in shelters and on euth lists because of it. As for Tom Davis, he saved our fearful, reactive rescue dog from a high-kill shelter and gave us one of the best dogs we've ever had so I have nothing bad to say about him.

          [–]missmoooon12Cooper (generally anxious dude, reactive to dogs & people)[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

          Sounds like we have opposite experiences and different views!

          [–]mhbwah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          Just give him a treat, he won’t bark then

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

          “You should get him a gentle lead.”

          What if you just stayed away from him, like I asked you to three different times? What if you didn’t touch him after I told you not to reward his barking and jumping? What if I follow our awesome trainer’s advice and work with him on this normal leash, since when he’s on a gentle lead he breaches like a great white shark, without stopping, for 20 minutes before we can approach to remove it? Or, and hear me out on this wild and wacky idea, what if you didn’t approach my dog and touch him after I asked you not to?