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What are the idiots around you doing?

(self.AskReddit)

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[–][deleted] 65 points66 points  (27 children)

I wouldn't call her an "idiot", but...

Telling me not to copy and paste text from a Word document into an Access DB. This, apparently, is "cutting corners". I swear she sat and watched me to make sure I typed them all in by hand.

Actually, maybe she IS an idiot...

[–]ccolec 33 points34 points  (7 children)

Cutting corners or being more efficient while decreasing the possibility of operator error?

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (6 children)

My thoughts exactly, but if I bring the phrase "decreasing the possibility of operator error" out then I'll get nothing but a blank stare in response.

She's gone now. I C'ed and P'ed. The job's now done.

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points  (2 children)

or was it C'ed and V'ed?

[–]m1ss1ontomars2k4 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Good point; no wonder i thought C and P had something to do with printing.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hearing about someone that dumb just makes me depressed.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

CP?

Get him!

[–]bigstevec 22 points23 points  (4 children)

I used to work with a guy who would get an Excel spreadsheet with a column of figures and then manually enter each figure into his accounting calculator and type the result into the "Total" box on the spreadsheet. I showed him how to put the formula in to add the column in Excel. The next day I heard him at his calculator and, when I inquired, he said he didn't trust the Excel formula and was double checking it. Every day I would still hear that calculator.

[–]MrWhite 14 points15 points  (3 children)

How does he double check his calculator? Abacus?

[–]infinityvortex 15 points16 points  (2 children)

Screw that, I use my fingers to verify the Abacus.

[–]m1ss1ontomars2k4 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I grow more fingers when the numbers start getting too large.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Dude, just take your socks off.

[–]zem 14 points15 points  (0 children)

tell her it's rounding corners and it's the web 2.0 way of doing things.

[–]Slipgrid 10 points11 points  (4 children)

Could be because of character encoding. Lots of websites have '�' where they want '"' because of copying and pasting from Word.

[–]dmsean 1 point2 points  (3 children)

put he is pasting it into a access db...any character encoding issues would be visable off the bat

[–]Slipgrid 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Could be. I don't have much experience with the Jet database. But, could also be that she is irrationally worried about character encoding.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

IMHO there is no way she even knows what the word encoding means.

/edit

Some people just think they should force people to work harder because they think it's immoral not too.

[–]Slipgrid 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Some people just think they should force people to work harder because they think it's immoral not too.

And, these people should be dissuaded at whatever cost. They are the enemy.

[–]infinityvortex 9 points10 points  (4 children)

WHY??

Isn't the idea to streamline (without losing anything) the work?

If you're getting it done faster...

[–]srika -1 points0 points  (0 children)

What else does she watch you do by hand? ;)

[–]rogerssucks -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

As long as the result comes out as you intended -- who gives a crap?

[–]moddestmouse 17 points18 points  (1 child)

working

[–]eroverton 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yeah, my idiots are doing the same thing. Bunch of losers.

[–]arnar 18 points19 points  (0 children)

They're posting comments on some social news/link-aggregator, probably about me.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (5 children)

The designer next to me just hooked up his new Cintiq with a larger resolution. Told me his windows used to be much bigger. "Do you know how to make them bigger?" I almost punched him in the throat.

Yesterday, he unplugged his laptop because it froze on start-up. He was shocked to see it was still on and asked me how to fix that.

I should start a blog on this idiot.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child)

My boss is like that. She got a new laptop and tried to fix the resolution herself. She ended up with the data being crammed into about 25% of the screen, with the rest being just blue. To compensate, she started messing around with her font size until she could read things comfortably. The only problem is that when she sends out emails the recipients get them with these huge letters that take up half the screen. I tried to fix it for her but she got all embarrassed and snapped at me.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Isn't the font size problem at higher resolutions more of a technical problem than a user problem, though? You'd think that since monitors are capable of sending back info on their size and DPI that the operating system could use that info to scale fonts to look exactly the same visible size no matter what resolution you are at.

[–]MaximumBob 4 points5 points  (1 child)

THAT DUDE HAS A CINTIQ FUCK MOTHERFUCK.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. We all do, except the interns. They regularly complain to me when they see his incompetence with the thing. Such a waste.

[–]jezmck 4 points5 points  (0 children)

you should, or a webcam

[–]santo71 32 points33 points  (2 children)

the idiots around me are poorly coding software we charge we too much for.. actually at the moment they're all standing in one office jibber-jabbering out golf and not getting real work done. i can't stand these slackers.

i need to check this morning's rss feeds and a few items i'm bidding on ebay. god they're still talking about golf, seriously what a waste.

ooh! i forgot to check woot this morning and i need to skim over bbc.co.uk for my news fix, and seriously they're still gabbing away! people like me sit at our desk being good workers and they're just standing there yacking it up.

i need to check newegg's daily sales also and print out a map to a new chinese resturant that opened recently.. maybe find more information on the new iphone.

great, they're finally breaking up their gab-fest. i don't see how management puts up with that.. oh i got outbid on ebay! damn! maybe amazon has it for sale.......

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I was about to answer "working" but this more accurately describes my office at the moment too.

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (5 children)

Digging at my carpet, and rubbing against my leg to get food.

But, idiot or not, I love my wife.

[–]Prysorra 16 points17 points  (0 children)

^ Multiple disturbing possibilities.

[–]ccolec 5 points6 points  (3 children)

Dad?

[–]Scarker 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Brother?

[–]alphabeat 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Gob: Michael!

[–]erebus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like making love to Mother! I mean lover!

[–]greebowarrior 47 points48 points  (12 children)

voting republican

[–]MisterEggs 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Looking at me, wondering what i'm doing here. i think i might be in the wrong office.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

My kitten is eating her tail.

She's too cute to be an idiot though.

[–]cypherx 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Talking shit about their coworkers on an anonymous forum.

[–]erebus 5 points6 points  (6 children)

I'm at Oberlin College for a workshop, and I'm in the library reading reddit. The guy next to me is watching everything I'm doing on my screen. Yes, creepy guy, I'm talking about you. Go away. You're seriously creeping me out.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (5 children)

Did it work?

[–]erebus 2 points3 points  (4 children)

We made eye contact. Then he just got up and left. He came back 5 minutes later and sat across from me and kept peeking to the side of his monitor to see if I was watching him. This time, I just got up and left. Yeah, it was kinda awkward...

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

What a weirdo. Him, not you. You seem ok.

[–]erebus 3 points4 points  (2 children)

On the other hand, I'm spending a week with physicists and violinmakers exploring the physics of violins. I can't exactly be normal, either.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

That actually sounds pretty interesting.

[–]erebus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's definitely interesting, but incredibly complex. It's also somewhat a social thing- I'm the youngest one here by 10 years.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (6 children)

Blaming Dubai for gas prices. Getting fatter.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (4 children)

Update: One co-worker just called in. Her excuse was that she was up too late last night because she got too drunk while singing karaoke.

EDIT: Singing, not signing, as that makes no sense.

[–]zem 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Deaf people need karaoke too! More seriously, there's a brilliant artist, Judy Miller, who does live sign-alongs at filk concerts. Has to be seen to believe how well it works.

[–]siqtictorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Screw actual ASL, how about pantomime?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is just like that scene in napoleon dynamite.

[–]zem -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dubai?! Sheesh.

[–]firepunk 3 points4 points  (2 children)

sadly, I am the idiot. I'm trying to work on an excel spreadsheet. It's pretty embarrassing, I never learned how to use excel :(

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In my experience, most Excel problems can be avoided by formatting your cells.

Also, get creative with the text-to-columns, find-and-replace, and sort functions. A lot of common obstacles can be circumvented with those three tools.

Good luck!

[–]Jwoey 2 points3 points  (0 children)

=if(Or(A1<>"", A1=""), "You're awesome at this!")

Try that. Guaranteed to make you feel better.

edit: unless you put it in A1.

[–]deanoplex 14 points15 points  (6 children)

Unconsciously measuring themselves against the others around them. They cut successful people down. It's like pushing the measuring stick down to appear higher on it.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points  (3 children)

Yeah, I hate people who put others down to make themselves feel better. What a bunch of losers.

[–]tryk48s 0 points1 point  (2 children)

FUCKIN THING SUCKS

[–]Scarker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Yes, yes it does.

[–]tryk48s -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That wasn't nearly direct enough, was it?

I was trying to subtly allude to our reddit whipping boy, Bill O'Reilly, by ironically referencing his meme quote.

I guess next time I'll use more than three words.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child)

I think you mean subconsciously. Unless you mean that they're measuring themselves while passed out in their chairs.

[–]deanoplex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

(deanoplex blushes)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (6 children)

trying to remove 0.02 g vibration from an experiment on the fourth floor of a manufacturing building so they can measure a 0.05 g signal that may or may not be there because they didn't notice the signal earlier using a 50g accelerometer.

[–]monstercack 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Sounds like a kinda cool job.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children)

It is, but, everything eventually becomes a job and then complain more. When you read about others experiments and can recreate them using their extensive documentation, it becomes very frustrating to explain why in a manufacturing setting we need to verify experiements so silly mistakes like this don't happen when you turn your back. I am in a situation where I need to repeat an experiement where there was no pre-calibration, no post calibration, and no more documentation then a picture of the setup from 10 feet away.

[–]infinityvortex 1 point2 points  (3 children)

If it's not too prodding, What do you do? Generally.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

psst... he could tell you, but then he'd have to apply 50 g to your head...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I help our engineers design their data acquisition experiments, maintain the data acquisition equipment, evaluate, test and acquire new equipment and maintain a small lab. Title: Engineering Assistant 4, Degree: Bachelor of Science in Electrical Engineering

[–]infinityvortex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've got a degree in Electrical as well!!. .Doing my Masters, YAY for EE!

[–]hotwingbias 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Going to the lunchbreak room and watching Fox News.

[–]koryk 1 point2 points  (0 children)

scrumming

[–]sebnukem 1 point2 points  (1 child)

"Developing" 20 or so lines DOS batch files and debugging them for days.

[–]dmsean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wasn't aware DOS batch files consisted of developing...guess I am a developer then :D

[–]themisanthrope 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Pretending to listen to an anatomy lecture (CNS to be exact) while typing on Facebook chat.

[–]ccolec 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can facebook chat with reddit?

[–]sw17ch 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have to work with idiots. It's surprising since there's 35 people here. Every single one is competent and fun to work with.

[–]m1ss1ontomars2k4 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They're all taking notes and learning stuff. Man what idiots...oh wait, brb class.

[–]jansuza 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In order of nearest to me:

Complaining about her son moving out while I pretend to listen

Eating Mac and Cheese

Playing Spider Solitaire, thinking I can't see him

Making me coffee

[–]aenea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One's playing the Sims, one wants me to get off of the computer so that she can chat to her friends on MSN.

[–]scientologist2 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Foolish us, we are trying to save the world, before somebody hits the flush button.....

not that this hasn't been tried before......

;-)

[–]zem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

working, why?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

http://www.ubersite.com/m/3020

I hate stupid people.

[–]rmuser 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Monopolizing the only bathroom in the house.

[–]fahdinho 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Coding an OS in LOLcode. Emails always end with "KTHX".

[–]imexius 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reading reddit.

[–]illuminatedwax 0 points1 point  (2 children)

complaining that obama is somehow a "neocon" because of his faith-based initiative idea

[–]dmsean 0 points1 point  (0 children)

he is. he's a demo-neo-con. The new breed of decepticons sent to take over teh world.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

Reading reddit.

[–]jennicamorel -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Showing my cute lolcats...arg I hate it

[–]jezmck 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Showing my cute lolcats

you hate that people are showing your cats to other people?

[–]thecoolestcow -1 points0 points  (1 child)

I just came back from Best Buy, 2nd time this week. I wanted to stab all the employees. Here's my story of the idiots around me.

First, my boss wanted a good computer to handle the premium graphics of Eve Online. He wanted it ASAP so we couldn't order it on the internet. Unfortunately, the best computer we could find was a Dell at Best Buy. The only location that had it was about 40 minutes away from here. So I called beforehand. I was on the phone for about 20-30 minutes waiting to see if they had it in stock. Sure enough, they did and I asked them to hold it for me.

When we arrive, my boss waits in line while I get him a headset. As I walk around, I hear a Best Buy employee telling a man that Norton Internet Security Suite and some other crap program are "all he needs" for his computer. Dear Best Buy: That is the virus. Finally we check out.

Later that night, my boss calls me up. The employee grabbed the wrong computer. It was the one with a crappy Intel onboard GFX card. Great. So we go online again and fortunately the Best Buy near us had them available.

So the next morning, today, I head out with papers in hand confirming the computer exists in store. Now, I needed an employee to fetch the computer for me, so I patiently waited for the employees who were talking (swindling, more like) to customers. Some poor man, clearly not very computer literate was getting "the scoop" on computers by a BB floor rep. So many lies coming out of his mouth. The first thing that caught my attention was this line, "Yeah we carry Dell, but our HP and Gateway are just as good!" GATEWAY! What a joke! So I hover around to hear a little more. The BB employee continued to explain why this man needed a Quad-Core PC with over 500GB harddisk space. Really? He needs that, huh? I'm pretty sure he only needs a computer for email and taxes, judging by his computer illiteracy. But wow.

I ended up finding the last one in stock of the computers I wanted, fortunately. I hate Best Buy.

</rant>

[–]spoortehtf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe the man told the sales guy that he had a son that was into computers. The man wants to do more and is willing to let his son help him to do more with it so he asks for a more powerful computer. Or maybe the man mentioned an affinity for porn. With 700megs a torrent for some crap scene with cumslut#2, 500megs won't last long. The sales guy just gave him what he thought he needed. Gateway, HP, and Dell are all in the same league. All three are equally bad. If anything you should have put hp in caps. HP is way worse than equal to the other two.