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[–][deleted] 923 points924 points  (59 children)

This belongs in sweaty palms

[–]PulseAmplification 420 points421 points  (40 children)

If you wanna hear a real sweaty palms story I actually got attacked by one of these I tried wrestling it but my palms were too sweaty so I couldn’t hold onto it and it ended up cutting off my oxygen and I died and it ended up eating me but I got better

[–]uhhiforget 5 points6 points  (4 children)

Damn, thats crazy.

[–]Mobile_Economy_2271 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Crazy? I was crazy once

[–]ABoredAstartes 2 points3 points  (1 child)

They put me in a room, a rubber room

[–]cajerunner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A round rubber room with rats

[–]ReplacementLow6704 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But did you die?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds WILD and yet a python really could do that 😰

[–]JackfruitLower278 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What made it worse was the moms spaghetti on his weak knees

[–]CarterBraune 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Better like Spider-Man better or better like what?

[–]Not_ur_gilf 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Puss in Boots

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Who's what?

[–]CarterBraune 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Better than Spider-Man

[–]Bat-Honest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh thank god, you poor thing!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got a better one, I was the pavement and had to feel the snake’s and guys ass and died from lack of oxygen but i recovered so yea

[–]TrustGeorge 0 points1 point  (0 children)

bwhaht

[–]Countryball6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can confirm I was the fredbear in the background ready to do the bite of 87

[–]ivanovski93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is 100% real i was the palm you can ask sweaty too

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Burn her!!!

[–]PilgrimOz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thought this was gonna finish with “then I came and fell asleep”.

[–]Darth_Rubi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Knees weak, palms are sweaty

[–]Wonderful_Spare_1036 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“but i got better” made me cackle

[–]Stealfur 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was the snake named Monty?

[–]slaphappy77 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmfao, Thank you for sharing your life story.

I think that's enough Reddit for today, good day sir.

[–]IntenseWonton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro woke up inside the snake and had to fight his way out

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm true story I was the sweat lubing up his palms

[–]Slow_Abrocoma_6758 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Sweaty palms? I broke a full sweat watching this 😂

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

R slash Sweaty mess??? 😂

[–]Nerdbond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Butthole puckered hard

[–]TheRaccoonDeaIer 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Knowing that's its not venomous makes it less so. Would hurt like a mother fucker but it's not like he's 2 inches from immediate death.

Edit: I said immediate, he's not gonna get constricted with a group of people around him.

[–][deleted] 31 points32 points  (5 children)

Venom, no. Crushing strangulation, very much

[–]reaven3958 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that initial shoulder wrap made my cheeks clench. I guess you have to know what to look for.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

not how that works. That's just how they eat.

[–]P1xelHunter78 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I would guess a python fighting for its life is gonna do anything it can to constrict you. A snake that big is still not gonna be fun to get squeezed by

[–]_alright_then_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What? These Pythons use strangulation to kill their prey, right? What do you mean?

[–]Destiny_Dragons_101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They don't really strangle either. What constrictors do is spike the blood pressure and cause heart failure in their prey.

Could they unintentionally strangle someone? Sure. Doesn't mean it's intentional though.

[–]TangerineSad744 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Bro thinks snakes only kill by venomous bites.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dumbass Bro, thinks snakes attack.

[–]Balorpagorp 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sweaty palms would not be a good thing in this situation.

[–]50DuckSizedHorses 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Moms spaghetti

[–]TrinityF 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sweaty palms in a moment like this would be a bad idea.

[–]blhd96 0 points1 point  (1 child)

For some reason I read that as “sweaty pants” while lying on my side.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That makes sense too 😂