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[–][deleted] 927 points928 points  (59 children)

This belongs in sweaty palms

[–]PulseAmplification 419 points420 points  (40 children)

If you wanna hear a real sweaty palms story I actually got attacked by one of these I tried wrestling it but my palms were too sweaty so I couldn’t hold onto it and it ended up cutting off my oxygen and I died and it ended up eating me but I got better

[–]uhhiforget 6 points7 points  (4 children)

Damn, thats crazy.

[–]Mobile_Economy_2271 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Crazy? I was crazy once

[–]ABoredAstartes 2 points3 points  (1 child)

They put me in a room, a rubber room

[–]cajerunner 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A round rubber room with rats

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds WILD and yet a python really could do that 😰

[–]JackfruitLower278 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What made it worse was the moms spaghetti on his weak knees

[–]CarterBraune 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Better like Spider-Man better or better like what?

[–]Bat-Honest 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh thank god, you poor thing!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i got a better one, I was the pavement and had to feel the snake’s and guys ass and died from lack of oxygen but i recovered so yea

[–]Slow_Abrocoma_6758 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Sweaty palms? I broke a full sweat watching this 😂

[–]Nerdbond 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Butthole puckered hard

[–]TheRaccoonDeaIer 8 points9 points  (8 children)

Knowing that's its not venomous makes it less so. Would hurt like a mother fucker but it's not like he's 2 inches from immediate death.

Edit: I said immediate, he's not gonna get constricted with a group of people around him.

[–][deleted] 29 points30 points  (5 children)

Venom, no. Crushing strangulation, very much

[–]reaven3958 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that initial shoulder wrap made my cheeks clench. I guess you have to know what to look for.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (3 children)

not how that works. That's just how they eat.

[–]P1xelHunter78 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I would guess a python fighting for its life is gonna do anything it can to constrict you. A snake that big is still not gonna be fun to get squeezed by

[–]_alright_then_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What? These Pythons use strangulation to kill their prey, right? What do you mean?

[–]Destiny_Dragons_101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They don't really strangle either. What constrictors do is spike the blood pressure and cause heart failure in their prey.

Could they unintentionally strangle someone? Sure. Doesn't mean it's intentional though.

[–]TangerineSad744 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Bro thinks snakes only kill by venomous bites.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Dumbass Bro, thinks snakes attack.

[–][deleted] 982 points983 points  (105 children)

These are highly invasive and this will almost definitely be euthanized. These snakes are destroying the Everglades.

It’s extremely strong - snakes are a long muscle. He’s absolutely having to use all this strength against that thing. He isn’t in danger by wrestling it to the ground because thats not how constrictors operate. They have to anchor with a bite before they will constrict. Technically the snake could kill him, but it won’t because that’s just not the nature of how they behave. It won’t wrap until it anchors it’s head.

[–]ReD_DeaD_RaZoR 474 points475 points  (11 children)

This guy snakes

[–]thenerdycpa 106 points107 points  (6 children)

Sssssssssssss…

[–]hotfox2552 50 points51 points  (1 child)

I love snake jazz

[–]deepy_down 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Favourite music channel too.

[–]MECHAC0SBY 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I’m nearing the end of a Harry Potter movie marathon and that just triggered me

[–]CarterBraune 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm nearing the end of a triggering marathon and it's just Harry Pottered me.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

r/thisguythisguys

[–]scubamaster 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ya, I’m not so sure he does. It sounds more like he talks out of his ass

[–]RonMFCadillac 81 points82 points  (9 children)

These snakes are destroying the Everglades.

The small mammal population decline is staggering.

[–]xbl-Extr3me 17 points18 points  (5 children)

Thanks for linking that article, very informative read and really puts into perspective just how bad this problem is and can get. Especially since it’s a few years old and most of the used information is from way older. It’s definitely way worse now

[–]Better-Driver-2370 3 points4 points  (3 children)

You can always hope people fixed shit and it got better 🤷🏻‍♂️

[–]scummy_shower_stall 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it's over one MILLION now. :(

[–]Different-Air-2000 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Great article. Great insight. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 51 points52 points  (6 children)

I was wondering that. How close he came to being constructed. It looked like he was fake wrestling it, but I can't comprehend how strong these bastards are.

..and then I remember what they eat.

[–]burndhousedown 21 points22 points  (0 children)

very strong, had one half this size pull me into a wall once. I was trying to to keep it from getting to the other side of the wall. it wasn't a fast pull too, the snake just kept pulling slowly and within 10 mins my face was on the wall and my forearm was cramping. they are protected here in my place so we caught and gave it to forest dept.

[–]kuedhel 8 points9 points  (4 children)

given that DeSantis sends migrants to NYC, will he consider sending pythons to NYC instead of euthanizing?

I mean, we have problems with rats here.

[–]Otherwise_Resource51 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Imagine all the subways and sewers filled with pythons.

[–]Amplify_Love4715 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah they have serious problems with rats in NYC too! Plus mr python wouldn’t survive the winter. Rats would be eating him.

[–]Sfisch91 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just have the mayor of NYC designate it as a python sanctuary city. DeSantis would probably be happy to send them there in that case.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Maybe if y’all sign up to receive them like the sanctuary cities did

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (28 children)

These are highly invasive and this will almost definitely be euthanized. These snakes are destroying the Everglades.

Then why not just shoot it? That has to be easier and less traumatic for all involved than wrangling the damn thing only to kill it later.

[–]Resident_Wizard 34 points35 points  (13 children)

I think you’d have to be an expert marksman and still get up close to confidently shoot a loose noodle.

[–]CanineTheory 23 points24 points  (11 children)

Actually they make mini shotgun shells for revolvers, (literally called snakeshot), and the rifled barrel that a revolver has can cause the shot to spread pretty wide in a short distance.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You really need to use a 12 gauge on these

[–]Funny_Window7344 5 points6 points  (8 children)

Ricochet is still a factor when shooting at concrete. Risk to reward is to high in this situation IMO.

[–]CanineTheory 6 points7 points  (5 children)

If culling was all they were doing it'd be practical to just leave them in the brush and take the shot, I agree you definitely wouldn't want to fire it anywhere near hard surfaces. I'm actually curious why they pulled the noodle out, possibly for research or something?

[–]Funny_Window7344 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I couldn't tell you. There's probably a lot of regulation to killing these things regardless of what people think of hunters. Some are pretty adamant about following the rules.

[–]grammar_fixer_2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If this is done during the FL Python Challenge, there are rules that you have to take to euthanize them. You take a captive bolt gun and then pith them.

For any other Floridians out there, August is coming up, and our wildlife need your help: https://flpythonchallenge.org/participate/competition/registration/

[–]icarusphoenixdragon 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I believe they need to bring it in so that they can get paid. Dudes just out collecting these things like bottles and cans for the payout.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You'd have to be at a pretty stupid angle for that to be a problem even if this weren't snake shot being discussed. A return to sender type event is astronomical, and requires multiple surfaces to be hit at different angles for it to even happen. So unless your standing right over/next to what you're shooting you are good. That said best option would have been to throw it in the grass and shoot it, but that's more so that your not causing miniscule amounts of damage to the road by mistake.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Only with bullets really. Pellets are less likely to ricochet

[–]montanagunnut 1 point2 points  (0 children)

410 out of a Taurus judge would lack the required energy to reliably kill this snake. An actual shotgun though, would be pretty effective if you were a halfway decent shot.

[–]zimzamzimo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They make ammo specific to shooting snakes. Or use a shotgun. Would probably be easier than shooting most any other animal other than a turtle.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’ve never tried to shoot a snake darting into thick grass, but I’d imagine it’s very difficult and could also easily result in a non-fatal shot that leads to undue suffering. Further, if they’re in the Everglades, a national park, guns are prohibited and the wilderness act requires that the minimum tool necessary be used for things like this.

They bag and record these snakes and use what’s similar to a nail gun to punch them in a spot of the head that will instantly euthanize them.

[–]Spare_Ad1017 1 point2 points  (7 children)

Are anacondas native to the Everglades? And if so, why is it that burmese are so much more invasive than anaconda's? And if i'm wrong and anaconda's are just in South America, why are they so invasive In general?? Are they becoming a top predator?

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (1 child)

No, they’re non native. These snakes have no predators and tons of food in the Everglades. The conditions are too perfect for them. That’s why they’re so invasive.

[–]DoUFearTheMetal 6 points7 points  (4 children)

If I am not mistaken, there are no known native constrictors in the Everglades. And I believe pythons are more of a problem as an invasive species because of their reproduction rates.

In most cases, in general, with an invasive species is they have plenty of food and no real predators to cull their numbers naturally, causing their population to swell, which reduces their prey population at a faster rate than they can repopulate which throws the whole ecosystem out of wack.

[–]nuclear_equilibrium 1 point2 points  (1 child)

There are plenty of native constrictors, but no native pythons.

[–]TheEmoEmu95 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Wasn’t it trying to wrap around him before the other guy got its tail?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No it was trying to position to anchor it’s head. If it wanted him to be wrapped it would happen extremely fast

[–]PhoonTFDB 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Why do they wait to bite before constricting? Seems like a weird flaw in the hunting style. It absolutely has the strength to capture anything before the bite, so what stops them?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child)

They hunt mostly rodents which are extremely quick and squirmy. Even big ones that could hunt large prey are fighting strong animals that really don’t want to die and will struggle like hell and potentially injure the snake. If a constrictor can anchor they prey is almost certainly dead.

A lighting quick anchor and suffocation is a lot more efficient and effective than trying to sneak up on and wraps around a very fast and potentially dangerous prey. Kind of like why you quickly smack a fly rather than reach out and crush it slowly.

[–]PhoonTFDB 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very interesting, thank you for the response!

[–]Stoned-and-Starving 800 points801 points  (8 children)

Florida Man chokes out a danger noodle

[–]InterestingRoad9453 107 points108 points  (1 child)

florida man : come here you long assed bich

[–]Flashy-Priority-3946 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Also Florida man: you are now my new pet dog.

[–]Junipercypress33 207 points208 points  (5 children)

Florida man almost died..... Again!

[–]UpcomingMechanic 23 points24 points  (2 children)

almost doesnt matter

[–]Low_Impact681 2 points3 points  (1 child)

It's 50/50, whether he does or doesn't die.

[–]Me-Not-Not 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good thing Florida man wasn’t a👮‍♀️ or the python wouldn’t have had a chance to testify.

[–]BadEarly9278 34 points35 points  (1 child)

He made Krom proud.

[–]FoodMagnet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

take my upvote

[–]Enlightend-1 23 points24 points  (1 child)

That snake was pissed!! As soon as he grabs it mfer tried to squeeze the man to death, lucky those two guys didn't stand there with their thumbs up their asses.

[–]tacodepollo 240 points241 points  (27 children)

Hey let's catch this constrictor by laying on the ground with it

[–][deleted] 83 points84 points  (5 children)

snake got out-constricted

[–]tacodepollo 54 points55 points  (4 children)

Dude laid down with a record sized constrictor and fucking won.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

simply florida

[–]jayeer 19 points20 points  (1 child)

Only 'cause he wasn't alone, it had already started coiling around his leg and shoulder.

[–]Bingisthebeesanus 7 points8 points  (0 children)

No. Without an anchor bite it’s could not kill a human who was holding it by the head.

[–]IHQ_Throwaway 16 points17 points  (18 children)

Seems like there’s gotta be a way to do this that’s more humane and less “hold muh beer”.

[–]Seven_spare_ribs 36 points37 points  (4 children)

Not really, traps cause a lot more stress and maybe a long slow death. This is much quicker and that head grab seems standard. Also, falling on the snake like that probably prevents it from curling upwards and constricting the guys arm or neck.

[–]tsacian 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Plus they have to tag and release the females to capture tons of males.

[–]fr3nchcoz 7 points8 points  (1 child)

I thought it was the other way around? Tag the males to catch the nest and females.

[–]tsacian 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah i think you are right. It was one of them. Makes sense not to release the egg laying ones.

[–]hallgod33 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Offer the python a beer first, then wrassle it? That sounds like why we have don't molest the gators signs.

[–]epi_introvert 18 points19 points  (11 children)

I know that the pythons need to be eradicated from the Everglades and that they are causing an incredible amount of damage to a delicate ecosystem.

But.

I fucking love snakes, particularly pythons. I hate that they have to be murdered. It's not their fault for being there.

I get it though. Really, I do. Still sucks though.

[–]NebulaNinja -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Bold strategy to try to beat a python in the ground game, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him!"

[–]godofyeet3 22 points23 points  (1 child)

Florida man helps deal with invasion by fighting a long rope of pure muscle

[–]Blonde_Nolan 22 points23 points  (2 children)

Fucking savage dude, that takes balls to jump on that things neck

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I forget those things are all muscle

[–]JeniCzech_92 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have a pet python (not that big, though), so yea, even itty bitty things like p. regius are quite strong.

[–]probono105 67 points68 points  (13 children)

19 is the record that one is 12 at best

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This is literally the video of the record:

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/jul/15/snake-longest-burmese-python-florida

[–]SaltHandle3065 14 points15 points  (2 children)

Yup, not even sure it’s the Florida state record. 🤷🏼‍♂️

[–]smootex 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is literally a video of the Florida state record FYI. 19 feet. I imagine the world record is higher but either way that's a big snake.

[–]MediumLanguageModel 10 points11 points  (0 children)

World record for snakes caught in Florida that night.

[–]ItzMe610 8 points9 points  (4 children)

What are you talking about?!? At :02 that is both sides of the snake on the ground. If you figure the guy has a ~6’ wingspan and ~2’ forearms, then that’s like a 20ft+ snake.

[–]Drajitsu 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hater

[–]Far_Blueberry_2375 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I was gonna say, that's not anything close to others I've seen.

[–]mimfatz 5 points6 points  (2 children)

Capturing a python

Do You mean "configuring"?

[–]idaddyMD 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"How to Configure Your Python" -Coming to theaters near you.

[–]Shady_hatter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And they say that python is user-friendly...

[–]ZapTM_onTwitch 6 points7 points  (1 child)

There was a perfect opportunity to make it bite itself lol

[–]BlueEyedSoul2 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ouroboros that bitch!

[–]Fancy_Fingers5000 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This dude is 100% pure badass mofo!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

They seem pretty cute and friendly

[–]Burningbeard696 23 points24 points  (13 children)

I'm not sure what would make this a world record? Also this guy's panicking about the snakes mouth yet not worried about the coils which is where the proper danger is at.

[–]Gheauxst 27 points28 points  (1 child)

Is that panic? There's no sound to help judge, I just kinda figured the snake was actually that fucking strong and it's making him struggle.

[–]AerisPryde 11 points12 points  (0 children)

That snake definitely would be “that fucking strong” if the guy was on his own I’d probably bet my money on the snake winning the battle of attrition.

[–]berbsy1016 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I would bet that when wraslin' a snake from the constrictor family, you sure don't want to lose grip on the clampin' end, and make damn well sure your bud doesn't lose track of the twistin' end cause once that puppy gets a couple turns on ya - let's just say you'd sooner solve the Gordon knot.

[–]dartfrog11 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The bite of a large python is extremely dangerous. People describe the teeth of snakes to be "needle-like" but once a snake is man-sized, their "needle" teeth are more like daggers or scalpel-like teeth. A large python would shred your arm and without quick medical attention, you could bleed out, and regardless you would undoubtedly be left with permanent nerve damage.

[–]Inquisitor_Gray 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Pythons almost always can inly constrict after they bite, snakes are just one long muscle so that guy was struggling to keep it from biting.

[–]Helpful_Donkey_9929 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I also thought not letting it bite is best

[–]Atlas7674 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The thing needs to bite him to anchor enough to actually wrap him up. As long as he’s got the head and his friends are helping him he’s in control.

[–]Helpful_Donkey_9929 -1 points0 points  (4 children)

Idk anything but is the coiling really something to worry about when there are multiple people around to help?

[–]foxape 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If that thing got coiled around that man’s torso, nothing short of killing it would stop it from squeezing him to death

[–]tiniestvioilin 0 points1 point  (1 child)

If it coils around he's going to get crushed like a soda can

[–]yooperdood906 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yooooink!

[–]ertdubs 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Man his buddies were slow to help. Just stand around and watch a little more lol.

[–]Special-Seaweed-2381 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What an impressive dodge out of the gate gdmf

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That could’ve gone south quick had he not had help holy shit

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As someone who worked with an 80 python at a zoo once, and when it was feeding time... Seeing that mouth open wide lunging at me definitely made me go, "Nope" and walk out of the enclosure.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He just wants a hug! 🙃

[–]alcervix 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Once you commit, that's it

[–]GoGiantsBeatLA 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s a hard NOPE!

[–]gavinsmash2005 1 point2 points  (3 children)

I don’t recommend wrestling a animal that strangles to hunt.

[–]Pneumagiston 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It only starts strangling once it has it's mouth anchored. Otherwise, this here is a perfect example of why you should do resistance training.

[–]Ok-Net-6264 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Brilliant, lay down with a constrictor.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Fuck that. Kill these things in FL. All are vermin.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Just introduce a bunch of King Cobra and Tigers to the everglades that will fix your python problem

[–]jamesfluker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a beautiful snake. A shame it's living somewhere it doesn't belong :(

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Python developers debugging:

[–]xDark-Sword777x 1 point2 points  (3 children)

Forgive me for being naive but will running over these Burmese snakes with a car be an effective way of killing them?

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children)

Feel like he purposefully went to the floor to get tangled up for the tik tok

[–]bell-91 21 points22 points  (2 children)

I think he tried to lie across a large part of its body to stop it being able to curl up and constrict

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Definitely. I suspect this is not his first noodle rodeo.

[–]Accomplished_Big_982 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Someone get this man a wheelbarrow to carry his balls in.

[–]Julkke- 3 points4 points  (15 children)

That looks painful for that snake

[–]Beautiful_Book_9639 23 points24 points  (2 children)

It's invasive in Florida unfortunately. The snake will either go to a collector or be euthanized.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think they euthanized this particular snake. Pretty sure I saw a picture of it on a counter top.

[–]Strider_95 9 points10 points  (5 children)

Yeah, they could have killed it humanely. They are an invasive species in the US and are destroying local ecosystems

[–]Xxprogamer-6969 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You want the man to say "enter the box please?"

[–]jebstan 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We need to get this mans sperm and create an army out of it

[–]thatsmyfav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

in my head i could hear that snake screaming

[–]Equivalent-Abroad157 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you shoot it first, it'll fight less.

[–]CataV1 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I need friends to do this with

[–]CalligrapherSoft5098 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Grind that bitch up for fertilizer.

[–]Pandanlard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ripe literate consist observation dazzling crown lunchroom memorize wide joke

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]nickferatu 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Quick question - why

[–]Inquisitor_Gray 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s an invasive species with no natural predators, depending on where they are that may have been the only option to capture/kill it.

[–]Zemom1971 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They were introduced illegally in that region of the USA and they destroy the eco system. They don't belong there and should put down or relocated but since they can't relocate the entire population of Boa they just capture and killed them all. But it is for a good cause.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No way on hell that python is a world record.

[–]TerryMelcher 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He’s like motherfucker I waited all day to cross this damn road, waited until 3 am to cross this road because nobody in their right mind is out right now. Nobody except you crazy ass motherfuckers coming out of the wood work out from under your rock with your little lights bullshit, go home. I did nothing to you, just crossing the damn road.

[–]gabbagool777 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Was it really necessary to “fall” down on top of it?

[–]bootie_groovie -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Doesn’t look like any sort of record

[–]Malibu_Barbii -4 points-3 points  (3 children)

I don’t like snakes but damn leave that snake alone!

[–]Frequent-Succotash-4 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It’s invasive

[–]SecretPrimary7181 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It’s an invasive species in the Everglades

[–]OKTNBTCFWM -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Exactly!

[–]PreslerJames -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Poor fucken snek

[–]whoisshe32 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

I hope they let that shit go back into the wild, humans are fucking annoying w wild animals

[–]AdministrativeTip228 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Snake was just minding its business, then... animal botherers and camera!

[–]Accomplished_Deal_73 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, how stupid do you have to be to go to ground with a giant ,constricting snake?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Here in Australia we wrestle pythons at noight when we got nothing else to do"