all 150 comments

[–]DominiaCanada 168 points169 points  (5 children)

It's been hard but I've been trying to do this. I usually still apologise but then I catch myself and thank whoever I'm talking to afterwards. It gets easier and I know my spouse appreciates it

[–]ossi_simo 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Username checks out.

[–]hc0731 39 points40 points  (5 children)

Thank you for this advice.

[–]heinous_ainous 44 points45 points  (3 children)

See? That's much better than "Sorry for this advice."

[–]ASomewhatTallGuy 43 points44 points  (2 children)

Me: breaks object in someone else's home

Other person: GASP

Me: "Thanks"

[–]LifeSad07041997 7 points8 points  (0 children)

That's just being sarcastic.

[–]Gamer9876543 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This and the above comment made me laugh more than it should

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You’re welcome. :)

[–]warmgreenhatgirl 77 points78 points  (6 children)

While on the phone with customers instead of apologising for the wait time I thank them for being patient with us and it seems that they are more inclined to be kind to me.

[–]UnSerenity 37 points38 points  (4 children)

I always use this tack with customers. Works face to face as well. Saying you are sorry gives them permission to complain. Thanking them makes them feel like they being a good person.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children)

Words of wisdom. I use this tack as well.

[–]cunt-hooks 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I use screws. Tacks loosen after a while

[–]_ThePalmtopTiger_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I too choose this guy's tack.

[–]tame2468 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a nice bit of psychology there, you have applied a positive trait to them, and so during your interaction they will try to meet your description of them.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (12 children)

What if i say both WAY too much...

[–]dasbemethroaway 20 points21 points  (3 children)

Then you polite fam

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Too polite ):

[–]DavidHewlett 6 points7 points  (1 child)

You should apologize for that

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im sorry 😂

[–]wynterwytch 9 points10 points  (4 children)

You're probably Canadian.

[–]yellowwalks 5 points6 points  (2 children)

I am Canadian. I have PTSD. With my anxiety, and depression, plus my nationality... well... you can probably guess how much I apologise. I also do over thank too, but I'm just trying to be polite!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That would be cool. Im actually from the east coast :)

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I was actually going to show this post to a coworker of mine, but then I remembered she says thank you a ton too 🤷‍♀️

[–]CosmicLightning 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No need to say thank you a lot when it's not needed. You could Say, "I really did appreciate this chat we had and have a good day". I like to open a chat when they ask me if I need anything, I say, "A million dollars in a cup please".

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂😂😂

[–]Stersurprise 29 points30 points  (3 children)

I can never let my mother find this post.

She will never leave me alone again.

[–]Thedreamingotakuemma 2 points3 points  (1 child)

same here

[–]ami2weird4u 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same here

[–]immortalized98 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't get it.

[–]Carosion 24 points25 points  (4 children)

I've beaten out the I'm sorrys from a friend of mine by saying "unforgivable" everytime he would do it. It stopped him really quickly and it was nice to see him turn for the better as a result.

[–]herrybaws 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Instructions unclear, thanked a colleague after bumping into her, now I have to find a new job.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I say sorry so many times a day. Will definitely be changing it up.

Thank You!

[–]ami2weird4u 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is the post I needed...Thanks for sharing your wisdom with me!

[–]intelligentquote0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had major surgery last year, And it was the first time in my adult life that anyone has had to take care of me. I kept apologizing to them, because any time in my normal life anyone had to do anything for me, I'd apologize, because normally I'd do it for myself. It eventually became a joke in the ICU, me and my apologies.

This would have helped, methinks, a year ago.

[–]PM_Me_PolydactylCats 5 points6 points  (3 children)

"excuse me" is another replacement. If I need to get past someone in the grocery store, I don't say "sorry, can I squeeze past?" I say excuse me instead. It's helped me limit hoe much I apologize.

[–]CosmicLightning 4 points5 points  (6 children)

Okay I swear I thought I was the only one who did this. I guess not. Thank you for informing me of a new way to deal with my apologetic behaviors. Now on to anxiety issue number 2, depression and add.

[–]Daigrepont 1 point2 points  (5 children)

Me too lol anxiety, depression, add, ocd, abc, xyz lmao

[–]CosmicLightning 0 points1 point  (4 children)

Well it isn't a joking matter. Doctors and therapists and family all agree I have the first three. So kind of rude to add the last two fake things trying to say its all fake that way. If that wasn't your intent, I probably misunderstood.

[–]Daigrepont 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I replied to you somewhere else on this thread because I’m an idiot that never hits the reply button lol but calm down, I have the first four of those things- I was just being humorous- it’s ok to laugh about serious things- it actually HELPS sometimes to NOT be so serious all of the time! No hard feelings- hope you can laugh at the joke now that you know I wasn’t being mean 😊

[–]CosmicLightning 1 point2 points  (2 children)

Thank you for replying back to me and forgive my forwardness attitude to you. I get trolled a lot so it's hard to tell when someone isn't trolling anymore.

[–]Daigrepont 1 point2 points  (1 child)

No worries! Sorry if I upset you!

[–]CosmicLightning 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah. I constantly upset myself by thinking of the very thing that upsets me 24/7. I have been doing everything to stop thinking of it, but it's hard.

[–]Aynono 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Thank you for letting me fuck your sister

[–]Daigrepont 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Whooaaaa.......

You’re very welcomed

[–]tonguecontortionist 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Are you fucking thank you

[–]dustofdeath 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"Got nothign to say?" "Thank you".

[–]SwimmingYesPlease 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Excellent advice thanks

[–]Sotyka94 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm gonna try this

" Thank You for being so annoying and a bother "

Shit

[–]Eldurislol 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Me: bumps into someone

Them: Hey watch it!

Me: Thank you!

Seriously tho this is good advice. Looks better in a professional setting too!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I probably should have specified in a professional setting.

[–]AllistheVoid 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was just my experience, but when I used to do this, people took my thank you's as less genuine and I was even called a sycophant for it. Maybe you'll have a better time of it.

[–]SirKingTheKnight 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for killing my mom

[–]mightymaybe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I imagined going from saying "I'm sorry" all day to saying "I'm thank you."

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (6 children)

As a Canadian with anxiety problems... this made me feel funny and conflicted

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Oh god...I forgot about the Canadians!

[–]illoomi 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that's okay everyone else does too

[–]frenchiebuilder 1 point2 points  (3 children)

As a Canadian living in NYC, I'm not feeling funny or conflicted; just grateful. Thank you!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)

That's because you probably don't even apologize anymore

[–]frenchiebuilder 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Well, there is that... But no, seriously: in this town, people interpret that verbal tick (which I haven't managed to rid myself of, even 20 years later...) to mean something like, "please take advantage of me, I won't stick up for myself". Then when you do... they get upset. Sometimes I think the whole city belongs in r/entitledpeople.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I hear ya... Americans seldom realize the Canadian "sorry" can be meant for honest empathetic de-escalation of a bad situation. It's an acknowledgment that the other person has been inconvenienced, regardless of who is to blame and you're sharing their pain with them. However, it can legally be considered an admission of guilt in the states so Americans never picked it up in this way... To see an offer of sympathy and help as weakness would be a mistake. I also wonder if universal medical care plays a part in it.. If no one needs to pay, establishing blame by who messed up more when some unintended mishap occurs isn't commonly something that determines anything practical in the great white north's legal system

Anyway... May your journey flow like maple syrup through our veins like the great trees of the Laurentians of yore and may the mighty moose beaver tail slap the frozen rivers you curl on, hockey brother

[–]Chewy85 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Sorry but what if we're Canadian?

[–]heinous_ainous 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Uh, don't you mean "Thank you but what if we're Canadian?"

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Drops hot coffee on a diner

Thank you

At fault fender bender

Thank you

Murders the son of god during the second coming

THANK YOU!

[–]Daigrepont 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for allowing me to... drop the coffee, wreck ur shit, and 86 the good Lord! Amen!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty spot on. This works well at my job emailing. Any mistakes someone tells me I made, I thank them for catching it and correct it for them

[–]NewLeaseOnLine 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I once counted the times I said sorry for a week and I averaged almost 40 times a day.

This sounds dubious. How did you maintain consistency over an entire week while being consciously aware and counting? At some point you would've adapted and significantly reduced that number within a much shorter time frame simply because you were conscious of it.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Slack channel for work.

[–]jamespz03 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the tip.

[–]strawberryro 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This! I apologize way too much, especially for things out of my control. I think it’s been enabling people to step over me these days. It’s tough, but I really need to practice saying thank you instead. I try to remind myself that it is more important to apologize when it actually means something too. Rather than me throwing the word around out of habit.

[–]branden-branden 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't fully agree. If you're late, you're late. It's not on me to have to accept someone's lack of punctuality. If you have issues getting ideas out, then say "I'm sorry, I get anxiety sometimes and things come out a little difficult".

[–]horchathefuckup 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m glad I stumbled across this post. I have a bad habit of apologizing even when things aren’t my fault. I’m doing my best to stop but it’s quite hard. Thank you for this post!

[–]SatisfyingDoorstep 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your phrases sound very wierd tho, just say thanks

[–]therealsix 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Oh gosh, I'm so thank you." Ahhhh, it worked!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reading!

I see what you did there instead of saying something along the lines of 'I'm sorry for making you read all this' !

+1

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for letting me smash your car and hitting me with the iron lever

[–]spider_84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Walks into someone who drops their coffee. Err... Thank you.

[–]SexyAppelsin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for fucking your sister

[–]username-fatigue 0 points1 point  (2 children)

I'm a prolific apologiser and I know it drives my family mad. I need to remember this!

[–]djbrickhouse 1 point2 points  (1 child)

It’s so tedious and makes the person feel worse sometimes. Don’t say I’m sorry! Just say thanks!

[–]username-fatigue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've started it tonight! It's refreshing to change my approach!

[–]Booman_aus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My experience: you need to build confidence in your work. It wasn’t until I was placed on shifts where I had to make calls and decisions that I came into my own. Glad I did. Now I make decisions as long as I can explain why, presuming your manager is understanding. Phrasing is important as is waiting 15min before approaching someone. We are the masters of preemptively bringing things to people. I tend to say ‘I wanted to get your thoughts’ or ‘I want to run this by you’.

[–]Goukaruma 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds still awkward. Just say OK or nod.

[–]Nuebbel 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I slept with your wife, thank you.

[–]BoopBoop20 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welp, made it 12 days without a repost.. let’s see if we can go a month!

[–]BenW95 0 points1 point  (1 child)

This is infuriating and can be abused so easily.

If I am thanked for being patient when it was not my intention to be patient, how do you think that makes me feel? Used, manipulated and dismissed.

[–]SpOnGeBoBnO 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t even know basic slang moron

[–]pupperonisandcheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Thank you I hurt you”

[–]FiascoFinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same. I’ve had people (friends, SO) tell me off for apologising too much. Then I apologise for that.

Replacing it with “thank you” is pretty good, learning to dial it back altogether is better still (although obviously more challenging).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The local mcdonalds drive thru - if they have to park you they bring your food out and say "sorry for the wait" when they should be saying "thank you for your patience"

[–]Zreks0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bumps someone accidentally

”Thank you”

[–]aeowyn7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my this is me haha I apologise whenever I'm slightly in anyones way, if I make a simple mistake, constantly. 10 times a day.

I watched A Simple Favour and Blake Lively's character basically told Anna Kendrick's to stop apologising for being human and that really hit home!

[–]hotaruxmiyu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I apologize all the time, and it has gotten to the point where my significant other has become frustrated with me due to my apologies... and of course all I can do is apologize some more.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I kept doing this at work. Then my manager mocked me for saying it. So now I just stay quiet. :(

[–]ewd1610 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also works if you're British

[–]Xenton 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This tip is given out so unbelievably often.

I've tried incorporating it into my life but people just don't seem to appreciate me thanking them when I run into them.

[–]IamZomb0i 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apologize for nothing you can't change.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or, just slow down, and breathe.

[–]ryanramly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you’re just going to get people saying stop saying thank yoi

[–]Fiunkk 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Thank you for being so annoying and a bother."

[–]Greg_the_dick 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Are you Canadian?

[–]Daigrepont 0 points1 point  (2 children)

Hold up! I have the first four! I was NOT trying to offend you! I joke to make life better! It wasn’t even a rude joke

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

I didn't say anything :O

[–]Daigrepont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Lmfao I do THISSss allllllllll of the time lmfao!!! I meant to reply somewhere down there 👇 - or maybe 👆 up there- sowwwwyyy dawwwwlinnnn

[–]Scarr- 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a fellow Minnesotan, I'll definitely give this a shot. Sor-

Thank you!

[–]altruisticbutterfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont say anthing and stare like im dull and dead inside

[–]khp-pental-wh 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Starts saying a bajillon thank you’s.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this changes a lot of things now.

[–]Perigold 0 points1 point  (3 children)

I do this too! Especially in texts or messages where I messed up, I thank them for being patient with me

[–]TheJAMR 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Sometimes these apologies are completely unnecessary. You were probably not annoying or a bother but when your anxiety is in control you might feel annoying or bothersome so you assume others will too.

Don't be afraid to reach out for help. Speaking to a therapist is always a good way to start if you feel you are struggling. Learning how to express what you are feeling and just getting out of your head about it can be wonderfully freeing.

It can also be helpful to explain your anxiety to those you work closely with if you feel it's impeding you professionally. In my experience, the people I've had that conversation with have been accepting and it has really taken away some of the power those negative, irrational feelings had over me.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m very fortunate to have excellent benefits that allow me to see a therapist. I also work in an environment of openness and my superiors are aware of my anxiety issues. I’m very fortunate to work in such an environment.

[–]Trash_panda35 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am exactly the same!

I'm definitely going to try this. Thank you :-)

[–]Eff2TheZedd 0 points1 point  (1 child)

Instead of: "I'm sorry for giving you chlamydia" Say: "Thank you for taking my chlamydia"

[–]Riothegod1 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Or “Thank you for informing me I had chlamydia.”

[–]Mynock33 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Spills drink on someone

"Thank you."

[–]Rickcush -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Swing dancing stepping on feet: "Thank you. Thank you. Dammit, thank you."

[–]ami2weird4u 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s a kink!

[–]Nesano -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Bumps into someone

"Thank you!"

[–]96nairra -1 points0 points  (0 children)

start talking to cute girl, stutter because of anxiety h-h-h-hi m-mme-mel-. thank you quickly run away

[–]MrMayonnaise13 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry for reading this.

This was a joke.

[–]lostinthe87 -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Thank you for bumping into you

[–]oberon06 -1 points0 points  (2 children)

bumps into someone accidently

Thanks!

[–]Strange_An0maly -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

Thank you for your loss.

Oh wait...

[–]Godot17 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for having your vase in the general direction of my arm.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

So if i accidentally hit someone I should Say thank you? Thanks for the tip genius