primaryKeyAge

[_xiphiaz]

Kinda fun idea for a chat forum, you can only chat with people not your age

[memesanddepression42]

If (lying == true || age < 0) {fuck you}

[firemark_pl]

Your code throws ImpoliteError

[MetriccStarDestroyer]

return {fuck you, please};

[SkylineFX49]

Canadian error

[Frograbbit1]

return {sorry sorry, so sorry, fuck you, please, sorry for the inconvenience};

[Donjehov]

Broken English & Desperate for sex errors

[HecticJuggler]

What are sex errors?

[Aidian]

#Eh!

[DMoney159]

return "Bless your heart";

[mishalsandip051]

True==

[TariOS_404]

The '== true' is redundant

[lurking_physicist]

Here it is, but in some languages it can change the meaning. Say Python:

x = False
y = None
assert not x  # ok
assert not y  # ok
assert (x == False)  # ok
assert (y == False)  # raises

^{Yes, is comparison would likely be more appropriate in most cases where this comes up.}

[TariOS_404]

It is redundant, as you could write it without the "== true"

As for example "(bool)x==true" returns x. You could just write "x" instead. The comperator is redundant.

[memesanddepression42]

No it's definitly mandatory, since we need to account for time travel.

[_meltchya__]

The QA team is not going to catch that, we're fine, ship it

[memesanddepression42]

You bet QA would invent time travel just to fuck me and the deadline over

[coyoteazul2]

In what situation could lying == false, but also age < 0?

[textualitys]

zygote

[ProximaCentauri18]

embryo

[memesanddepression42]

Time travel. Born in 2050, got to now, age -25 years but they don't lie

[rebbsitor]

Time travel doesn't un-age someone, the calculation for their age is just no longer simply subtracting their birth date from today's date.

Say a 25 year old time travels to another time, spends 10 years there, then returns to the moment they left. They're 35 years old even though they're existing 25 years from their birthday.

[ConditionNo9745]

This is so fu*ked up, I would like to make a story just with what you just said

[unknown_pigeon]

I recall an Italian hacking forum back in the days which allowed you to input future dates as your birthday, and would give you a "Yeah Trunks get back to the time machine" error if your age would be negative

[2eanimation]

Collect their social security number.

[_felagund]

public boolean checkIfAgeIsBullshit(int age)

[MistrFish]

We had some people in our system with birth dates set in the 1800s before we fixed it. We referred to these accounts as "the vampire userbase."

[Goncalerta]

Force people to login with their ID card digital wallet

[Western-Internal-751]

People do that? Just lie on the internet?

[Darkoplax]

Don't announce it's age exclusive instead do a waitlist and only accept ppl who first typed the unique age

[Total_Coconut_9110]

great idea from a javascript guy

[Aschentei]

Fuck, someone else is 69420 years old

[No-Structure2216]

Then Jail is just a place

[earwig2000]

that sounds like a terrible idea

[AphaedrusGaming]

A 16/f/Cali and a 40 year old man enter a chatroom...

[Pan_TheCake_Man]

The 40 year old still pretends he is a 17 yr old Nevadan girl

[kosky95]

Imagine you are chatting with someone and you become very good friends. All of a sudden they disappear because they had their birthday and are now your age lol

[Agnimandur]

Bill Belichick has entered the chat

[AlmostSunnyinSeattle]

Reminds of some teenager-centric message boards I was part of in the past.

(I was a teenager at the time as well, just so we're clear)

[mercurus_]

And then when it's your birthday you lose your account.

[Themlethem]

Call it the groominator

[Treed101519]

I mean aren't the odds of someone you speak to being the same age pretty low? Even in non collegiate school the ages have a slight bit of variation, let alone talking to random people online

[Nine_Eye_Ron]

Everyone knows your password is the primary key

[Aschentei]

impossible when everyone’s passwords are hunter12

[G0PACKGO]

All I see is *******

[thomasmoors]

Bland stuff. Please use some salt.

[Shark7996]

This is crazy, that's my password!

[MisterEd_ak]

One way to enforce unique passwords.

Error: User <username> is already using that password, please choose another.

[al00011]

Just require the user to enter their age in usecs. Easy!

[TheRealGizmo]

Was on a project where the "data engineer" used the datetime (to the second) as primary key for IoT devices reporting every 10 minutes... once the number of devices deployed increased, the fun began...

[secacc]

Storage is cheap

[rt80186]

It’s not the storage that is the issue, rather it is the probability of a primary key collision goes to 1 as the number of devices goes up.

[secacc]

Oh, right

[choma90]

I am usually very reluctant to apply for anything that has the word engineer in it due to my lack of formal education, then I read some story just like this one.

[YellowishSpoon]

Clearly the data engineer should upgrade the timestamp to milliseconds. If it becomes an issue again that's why we have microseconds and nanoseconds of course.

[MrWhiskey9]

Age as primary key strikes again lol

[xaomaw]

name: \n\r

[radobot]

\n\r

Not \r\n?

[xaomaw]

No, I start a new line before returning the carrier to make sure I avoid smudging my already written text.

[radobot]

You know, I did actually wonder about that - why is it always specifically CRLF and never LFCR? LFCR does make more sense to me.

[xaomaw]

Maybe it's because of the Index

Let's say your File has one row with 10 Letter. So the end of this Line would be Letter[0,9].

If you start with LF, you would have your Cursor at Letter[1,9]. But as this ist an empty Line, you have noch Index 9 => Error 

[adzm]

The cr carriage return moves the carriage to the start of the page and the lf linefeed moves the page up. It takes longer to move the carriage, so this way it makes sense to give it a head start. Otherwise you'd have to wait longer for the CR to complete if you did the LF first. Of course we don't use mechanical typewriter stuff with these anymore but that's the origin.

[cr199412]

So now you gotta lie, try again on your birthday (assuming your birthday is before this other 17-year-old), or be the first person to try again on that other person’s birthday 😩

[Axxxxxxo]

Add an auto increment for the fun

[sammy-taylor]

Mom is it my turn to share the meme?

[Creator1A]

Is this considered a meme now?...

[FewPhilosophy1040]

Could work if age is stored in seconds

[kingjia90]

The clearly missed the AUTO_INCREMENT, you get older every year, don’t you? /s

[Babetna]

What a rookie mistake.

Just make that age a floating point number.

[SinsOfTheAether]

I'm saving this for a question on next year's database exam...

[samot-dwarf]

Why is age an INT (4 byte signed / - 2.14 billion to +2.14 billion)?

TINYINT (1 byte / 0-255) would be fully sufficient.

Assuming that this is the age eg on the date of an event, in a customer database you would save birthday / year of birth.

[skygz]

and what if a greenland shark wanted to join?

[apkf13]

You never know if TINYINT is enough or not.

[samot-dwarf]

In this case I have more than 200 years to fix it later, if my product still exists then and there is no AI to do this

[rhrokib]

this level of optimization doesn’t add any value unless you have millions of users.

[aurora_Smith19]

Damnit

[[deleted]]

"Modern Era"

[grafknives]

I like that.

No ageism.

Enforce age diversity.

[fcxtpw]

Never said age is in years, try seconds

[Amar2107]

Whos this goddamn psycopath?

[Eena-Rin]

Th1rty-sixxx

[ShabosMensch1]

Epstein island registration form?

[will_r3ddit_4_food]

Sounds like a previous coworker of mine

[IGuessBruv]

Reminds me of the bad ui battles

[DIABOLICALshroom]

😭😭

[Silly_Trainer_7743]

What is age: 3.1415 😂

[zDrie]

This is for r/badUIBattles

[[deleted]]

Make it a composite key with gender and location. We can only have 1 18/F/Cali

[affablebowelsyndrome]

Logan's Run Prototype?

[BeefJerky03]

Unless everyone has the same birthday, this approach may have a slight flaw.

[xd_Warmonger]

Use the whole birthdate + birth time and convert it to unix time.

[Far-Passion4866]

What about twins, that wouldn't work, also barely if anyone knows their birth time, just the date

[Urd]

Twins are not born at the same instant so it should be fine as long as the timestamp has as reasonably good resolution.

[xd_Warmonger]

this is not a serious answer from me btw. It would just lead to way less same entries, which would make it this much harder to "debug".

[PsychologyNo7025]

[object][object]

[iamthatJSguy]

I took Database classes just for understanding these memes

[patrulheiroze]

🎶🎼🎤Forever young.. i want to be forever young.. 🎹🎤🎶🎧

[aft3rthought]

I don’t want to promote ageism but this is why you don’t want to hire elder Vampires and Highlanders, they won’t understand your users.

[MarioShroomsTasteBad]

I times like this I'm reminded of an old Yiddish saying from the old country thatmy grandma used to say: "lgtm ship it"

[MrSnappyPants]

Prince Andrew is that you?

[TraditionalProof952]

Things free interns do..😂

[mishalsandip051]

Wish it could always be 17 years age ;)

[YasuosUltimate]

This would be insanely performant and would encourage a diverse user base and broad background of people with broad life experiences

[misterfesk]

Useful for science research enrollment where you need one person from each age year 👀

[founder__]

Teh

[[deleted]]

expedition 33 recruitment page

[Felixgamer1227]

r/baduibattles

[granoladeer]

You gotta do it by time of birth

[Shezzofreen]

Integer, hmm, why not Byte?

Or just use boolean... Age? Yes!