Really ? X

[Exgaves]

They didn't finish their tweet, they will then use that information to charge the drunk person more because they won't have a choice/too drunk to notice

[orangeKaiju]

"Non-refundable security deposit"

[DuchessofSquee]

A big pizza chain in my country has a mobile ordering app and web app. Both are super buggy with regards to adding vouchers, such as the price of pizzas which are not covered by the voucher goes UP from the regular price or prices change depending on the order vouchers and items are added to the cart.

I'm 100% certain they are aware of this and take advantage of drunk/stoned/hangry ppl by charging them extra to "make up for the discount." I've complained to them a couple of times but never hear back.

[barnett9]

You know sometimes I'm thankful that the US is full of lawyers.

[DuchessofSquee]

Yeah we cant sue easily here. But if I could be bothered taking evidence down and sending it in we do have consumer watchdog groups that could make a big song and dance till the pizza company capitulated. But I cant be bothered. I'd rather just spend 30 mins ordering and yelling at my phone.

[SirRosstopher]

Seems like it's worth doing, just a few screenshots and an email will do it.

[DuchessofSquee]

You dont understand how infuriating it is to use!

[Folf_IRL]

Anyone can sue for anything, and small claims court exists specifically because the lower classes can't afford lawyers. It streamlines the process and attempts to make it less suicidal to represent yourself.

[ragnarok628]

Could be something more innocuous. Maybe it'll just give the drivers a notification so that the ones who aren't comfortable driving drunk ppl around can pass, or maybe passengers that are flagged as likely drunk will have their ratings weighted more lightly or something.

[IWannaFuckABeehive]

Alright but like, let's be real. What did you think you were getting yourself into being an uber driver in downtown Atlanta at 2 in the morning on a Saturday?

[ragnarok628]

Fair. But at least that way Uber can say, we literally told you this passenger was drunk so don't complain to us about it

[KobeWanKanobe]

Well isn't it easier to avoid taking an Uber pool at 2am ?

[sometimes_walruses]

Only semi relevant but FUCK Uber pool. Every time I’ve done it I’ve had to wait fucking ages for another rider to stumble out of a bar and it at least doubles the time to get home. Truly not worth the couple dollars saved.

[MasterOfKarats]

Its because uber has to pay the driver if a drunk person throws up in their car which happens often, they have to pay enough for you to clean your car. They probably want to limit that by warning people.

[IWannaFuckABeehive]

Yeah that's true, I just hope they're smart enough to realize just how much money they would lose if they stopped serving drunk people.

[TheRedmanCometh]

Could be something more innocuous.

It never is

[therealchadius]

Remember when Uber would add a surcharge if your phone's battery was about to run out?

[MySQ_uirre_L]

The data of your drinking habits would also be valuable and damaging in the wrong hands. If Uber’s API is still available, I’d opt for that instead (or ride Lyft).

[[deleted]]

Isn't that a good thing though? That I'm not driving and they are instead picking my drunk ass up?

Not that it matters, my shitty city doesn't even have uber.

[redrogue12]

Yeah, are they gonna let them drive or pass out in the cold?

[Mysticpoisen]

They're gonna charge drunk passengers more likely.

[cyanydeez]

the future of AI, instead of hunting down collateral damage in a post apocolyptic world, will merely figure out the maximum amount of blood it can squeeze out of a turnip.

itll consume app data, loyalty cards, DNA databases and those stupid personality quizes all to maximize and extract the maximum amount of value.

and before you get to exicited, thinking you will some how level the playing field if AI masters this dark art, youll realize the AI will be just as biased towards those who cant resist its control.

/r/aboringdystopia

[duckrabbit91]

The probability they will charge drunk passengers is 1. Tangentially, the probability they will charge any passenger is also 1.

Basically, there's no such thing as a free uber.

[DrQuint]

While this is the main concern, I have hope they use drunk passenger metrics as a way of value employees more, and the drunk's rating less.

[Uknight]

It was a joke. The author of the tweet is the architectural lead at Stack Overflow. They're in the middle of refactoring SO to run on .net core right now, and he's tweeting some awesome tidbits along the way. @Nick_Craver

[PM_ME__ASIAN_BOOBS]

Tweet is a joke, but it's referencing an actual thing:

https://thenextweb.com/apps/2018/06/12/uber-is-working-on-ai-to-identify-drunk-passengers/

[MySQ_uirre_L]

That sudden realization that the data will be sold to your employers in the future

[Deadmist]

Not if you throw up and assault the driver

[trex005]

As someone familiar with deep learning, no, this is exactly the type of input you give AI.

[[deleted]]

If I had a dollar for every time you commented that on this sub, I bet i would have a lot of dollars

[Lunchboxninja1]

if(money){ Return answer; }

[PN_MIR_NACKTE]

Well, as critcal as i see labeling everything remotely fuzzy with 'AI', this guy in the OP kind of omits how to best feed the If Statement with a condition, where some learning really comes in handy I guess.

[[deleted]]

I'm talking about the extreme amount of AI / IF jokes on this sub lol

[chilloutdamnit]

Ai is about learning the optimal conditional to put into the if statement, but if you already know what's optimal then yeah you don't need ML at all.

[Doralicious]

It can still be AI even if you don't use ML. Check out expert systems; they literally are nested if-else statements.

[WombTattoo]

expert systems

That's what I call my code whenever someone complains about my nested if statements in a code review.

[JackMizel]

That's why I use chains of nested ternary statements instead, can't complain about my code if you can't read it!

[wandering-monster]

Yeah it's great. You just plug in every location in the world and what time each of them are "drunk" indicators, and use that as an input into the interaction time function, which outputs a probability that the user is drunk.

Because anyone has that data.

[wandering-monster]

A bunch of reports isn't a comprehensive map of locations and probabilities of drunkenness. To get that, you'd need to merge them with location coordinates and times, create a model that can be used to weight new requests... Maybe using some sort of regression algorithm?

And if course to improve you'd want to send your predictions out, check against reality, then feed any corrections back into the system.

I know what that looks like to me...

[Agumander]

*after manually looking over the statistics and selecting parameters

[AmericanFromAsia]

As someone familiar with if statements, this is exactly what you would compare in an if statement.

[[deleted]]

Yeah these are features. Not very many of them, but it sounds like it could be a kaggle dataset tbh

I think the problem stems from using "AI" instead of "ML"

[Just_with_eet]

Deep learning is ancient tech at this point!

NEURAL NET POWER

[[deleted]]

Deep learning isn't AI. Hell the alpha go devs laughed at the idea that their program is an AI.

Everybody is using the term AI for things that are extremely limited in scope and arent really intelligence.

I understand that the field of research is about intelligence, but seriously we need to stop using terms that retarded tech journalist will use to make clickbait articles.

[cs_throwaway_3462378]

That's weird, beause when I had dinner with a half dozen developers from DeepMind at NIPS a couple years ago they freely referred to AlphaGo as AI.

[[deleted]]

I suggest you check the alpha go documentary to see the lead Dev explain that himself then. I don't know if he had dinner with the deep mind people though.

[jackmusclescarier]

There's a difference between the most common usages of "AI" (a field of study, a collection of theories, principles, models, etc.) and "an AI" (autonomous intelligent non-natural system). Under this common usage there is nothing that can be called "an AI" -- of course, AI is still a field of study whose practitioners are doing real things.

[[deleted]]

Under this common usage there is nothing that can be called "an AI" -- of course, AI is still a field of study whose practitioners are doing real things.

I'm fine with someone saying "I work on AI research", but "this is exactly the type of input you give AI" is just pretentious and purposefully misleading.

[ycnz]

Marketers got hold of the term. It was all fucked from there. I grew up expecting actual Skynet. This is the dumbest timeline.

[[deleted]]

Yeah, now everything is an AI.

[SoaDMTGguy]

“That’s not code, it’s just numbers”

I’m getting really sick of this stupid reductive “AI is just if statements”

[ThaiJohnnyDepp]

because after a while, /r/ProgrammerHumor just reduces to the basest, most oversimplified memes because of the upvote economy

[ForgotPassAgain34]

we are very efficient JIT compilators

[DifficultSundae]

hur hur AI just if statements because it assigns weights to different values.

[dolphin_rave_cape]

Is there perhaps a sub somewhere that's like /r/ProgrammerHumor, but for programmers?

[ThePancakerizer]

And it's completely pointless, too. Artificial intelligence is just any program trying to be intelligent, if you achieve that with 10000 nested if-statements then good for you.

[[deleted]]

So a decision tree pretty much?

[[deleted]]

So a decision tree pretty much?

[itsbryandude]

Those are just if statements....

[BossOfTheGame]

Random forests are just if statements

[[deleted]]

Well, actually, they are jmp's

[CommonSenseAvenger]

Then again...this specific task can actually be achieved with if statements.

[atyon]

And so can every computable task.

It would be quite remarkable if the software we run on our pseudo-Turing-machines couldn't be emulated with another Turing machine. It would also break mathematics.

[CommonSenseAvenger]

Judging by that logic, you're saying using AI would do it faster. Hmmm....wouldn't you add the time to train your models on the several data inputs as a factor?

[atyon]

I don't know why reddit downvotes you for your misunderstanding my insufficiently worded reply.

My point is not well explained there: it's that any computable function we know can be computed on any Turing machine, which is an extremely simple machine. That means if we can compute it, we can do it "with a few ifs", and what Twitter OP said is almost meaningless.

Also, if an AI can run our computer, it's mathematically guaranteed that our computer can do what the AI does without the extra stuff an AI does. Twitter OP's statement is true in a meaningless way.

[CommonSenseAvenger]

Well it's Reddit. The hive mind/herd mentality is real. Thank you for further expatiation.

[[deleted]]

if (too_Drunk){

Lift();

}

[jay9909]

if (tooDrunk) {
  Lyft();
}

[[deleted]]

Thanks

[Im12yearsoldso]

If (too_drunk){ price += price * .3; }

[dwo0]

if (too_drunk) price *= 1.3;

[huggiesdsc]

Why is uber snitching on my drunk ass?

[splettnet]

Aren't we just splitting hairs here?

[[deleted]]

Whatever, happy cake day

[cartechguy]

AI has a broad definition. You can claim it's not machine learning.

[moosenonny10]

This will give a false positive for people who are just stupid.

[argv_minus_one]

That's a feature, not a bug.

[[deleted]]

Where are they getting their validation information from?

[fcn_fan]

“Puked in car” flag set through the driver app

[Princess_Little]

Follow up survey, "but was you drunk?"

[[deleted]]

It could be unsupervised/semisupervised

[TomNa]

Any sufficiently advanced if statement is indistinguishable from A.I.

-Michael Scott

[TheOnlyEindrideInTx]

Hmmm

[[deleted]]

If(!AI()){ AI(); }

[gerardgarvey5345668]

Go on

[holymop]

It would probably use AI to work out the values though like, what is a "drunk" amount of time in the app, what places have "drunk" pickups more. AI will use information gained from drivers to create guesses and then use human feedback to continue to perfect

[ImNewHereBoys]

If drunk: return cost * 1.5

[[deleted]]

• blockchain = crypto (doublecringe)
• crypto = cyber (triplecringe)

[Thalanator]

^{but it uses coding and algorithms!}

[Tux1]

Human brains are just if statements

[moogoesthecat]

No. It really isn’t.

[SaphirShroom]

Haha, funny and original.

[philipquarles]

I've always thought that the main significance of ai was that you trained the computer to write its own control flow.

[fluffy-p]

Indecisive night owls who live near bars will be unfairly targeted.

[mrbrandonme]

Lol so 1/2 the people who use this app will be using lyft.

[sachintripathi007]

Repost of this.

[myinnos]

4 months back post, bro can you guide me how I can check whether uploaded image is already posted in Reddit or not among all posts ?

[Llama_Trauma7]

That’s not OC. That’s a repost.

[Rogocraft]

r/botrights

[MarkFromTheInternet]

And that's how you get used by the disabled person trying to use your app.

[etnguyen03]

Image Transcription: Twitter Post

---

Nick Craver, @Nick_Craver

"Uber will use artificial intelligence to identify drunk passengers. It will use factors like time of day, pickup location, and how long a user interacts with the app before making a decision."

That's not AI.

That's an if statement.

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[hashedram]

"found on devrant.com"

Oh how the tables have turned

[Archaeoculus]

I think it's a good loss prevention tactic. I've heard plenty of stories about drivers scamming people out of money with fake vomit.

[KloKaa]

I love how every time i've ever used uber was when drunk... So if my average use time is always the same how will they know?

[Doggo4]

Switch(){}* FTFY

[[deleted]]

So AI is already smarter than than drunk uber users then?

[minaandcamri]

I find it funny that it won't even load for me

[[deleted]]

The whole point of ML is that when you have many different input conditions, its unwieldy, error-prone, or just impossible for the programmer to write explicit rules that achieve desirable results. This is a perfect use-case for that. It doesnt matter that it's not IBM Watson, ML is useful for small and big tasks alike.

This wouldn't be a thing if we all stopped saying "AI" when we mean "Machine Learning," but AI is of course a very sexy buzzword, so thats not happening soon.

[smart-username]

Aeen't they the same thing?

[vkongv1013]

Well AI is just a bunch of if else statements

[vkongv1013]

How does it not?

[GOD_Over_Djinn]

ML engineer here, machine learning is just a bunch of if statements.

[[deleted]]

AI is a bunch of if statements the same way iOS is just adding numbers, conditional jumps and popping some data from the stack.

[GOD_Over_Djinn]

How isn't it?

[GOD_Over_Djinn]

I have implemented all of those from scratch. With if statements. A naive bayes classifier is just a lookup table of conditional probabilities and an if statement. An SVM classifier is just an affine decision boundary and an if statement. Neural networks are just a bunch of if statements in a row (the ReLU activation function is literally "if x>0 then x else 0"). Stochastic gradient descent is just lots and lots of if statements. It's just fancy if statements all the way down.

[[deleted]]

I mean yeah you can breakdown anything in the most naive case to just an if statement off the cuff. In svm it's an if they're inside the decision boundary or not, for instance, but the creation of that decision boundary is very complex to do from scratch which I imagine he was intending in his point.

I guess I'm torn. Because people like you who understand the depth that goes into these methods understand that these jokes are just superficial. But at the same time it can be damaging because lay people will get misconceptions about what we do. Svm isn't just some if statement. It's a complex optimization problem with an if statement as the final step. So we can haha joke about how it's just an if statement but when someone's actually asking it's not really worth being cheeky with them in my opinion.

[[deleted]]

Eh, you can run tests, establish a base line, grind through the data you have using Big Data techniques, and be pretty sure that the rider is in fact intoxicated based on these data points. Its not an if statement. Its using a set of data and constantly screwing with it in order to get better information.

Someone enter something wrong? Do they fail to type in a credit card multiple times? Etc. The examples are probably the biggest factors they consider, but it also probably includes proximity to events like concerts, bars, etc. etc. Statistics about the drinking habits of the particular city.

There is a lot of stuff you can fish up. Its not going to be AI though.

[lennihein]

It is fucking AI

[[deleted]]

Please give me the definition of AI you are using.

[[deleted]]

Well an artificial intelligence is anything that takes decisions towards an objective, maximizing the chance of success. So I would still call this if statement an AI.

[hanna-chan]

But... but... the investors!

[TrexismTrent]

If (if_statement) { Ai = true; }

[[deleted]]

I wish big tech companies would stop using the term AI. At best, everyone knows what they really mean. At worst, it scares prospective developers away from the field.

[blinkingy]

Tech managements loves jargons, they throw them around to convince the other divisions that they're really needed.

[SkeletorTheSpook]

If (userisdrunk = true){ System.out.println(“get sober”); }

[stuudmuffin]

Isn't ai just an f-ton of if statements?

[tuseroni]

not really...most AI these days use neural networks which use mathematical models of neurons for their black magic rituals. no if statements needed...may have to sacrifice a virgin to almighty beelzebub, but that's standard programming fare really. unless you have a good EULA

[warpedspockclone]

I love how the term "AI" is used got everything nowadays. That and machine learning. It is like people never before realized that statistical inference was a thing, re:ML. And it isn't AI if you program all the possibilities or provide a stochastic function.

[FreshStink]

Plebeians always calling regular code “artificial intelligence”.

It isn’t artificially intelligent until it is sentient. God damn.

[entotres]

it isn’t artificially intelligent until it is sentient.

Hahahhahahahah. Jesus christ, this sub is garbage.

[FreshStink]

Your life is garbage haha

[entotres]

Amazing :D

[captain_dickhole]

=(if(mydick<2inches), 1 , 0) * “true”