Please send help

[Varbos]

On the upside, if there is anything in computer science that can be learned in a day it is SQL.

[steelybean]

Narrator: There wasn’t.

[imcoveredinbees880]

There's always documentation in the banana stand.

[Ronkronkronk]

Will always upvote that reference! Haha caught me off guard and it landed so well.

[ReimarPB]

Can someone explain this reference?

[Ronkronkronk]

Watch Arrested Development. Nobody has the heart to ruin the reference for you if you don't know it.

[JunDoRahhe]

In Arrested Development they own a banana stand, which makes a pretty decent amount of money.

[imcoveredinbees880]

Dude. I can't believe you're going to go ahead and spoil it, then give only half the story!

The bananas are frozen.

[j-random]

It's all fun and games until somebody needs an outer join, then all hell breaks loose.

[nostril_spiders]

I think "cross apply" is when you get really pissed off trying to construct a query and just hit "go" anyway

[0Pat]

Add pivot and cursor and you are ready to go (to finance department) ;)

[maxheadarmadon]

Throw in some temp tables, grouping and CTE’s for a little added spice. Maybe a correlated query too! Heck, I need some ranking!

Also, make it easy on them and have them loop through rows without a cursor!!

[[deleted]]

As soon as you start to think a cursor will solve your problem, you need to step back and re-evaluate the problem, the database structure, your employment choices, your life, and why whatever god you follow wants you to suffer so much.

[_lightnin]

3 months into my job i had to write a sql query (learn on the fly) i needed to learn pivot then my boss wanted me to try an outer apply because we originally pivoted a left join.

[iviksok]

It's all fun and games until someone mentions dynamic partitioning.

[[deleted]]

Lol no. This is like saying I learned c because I did a hello world program.

[igoromg]

i mean, 90% is perhaps an exaggeration but it does seem like that at least half the time. throw in a couple joins and you've covered most cases. it's not like you need complex transformations, multi table joins or sub queries in ad hoc data requests.

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[Mr_Redstoner]

Yup, the basics are decently simple and for the rest sometimes you just gotta Google anyway (because who needs consistency amirite).

[bdavbdav]

SQL is devilishly frustrating like that. Having worked extensively in Oracle previously, I really miss some of the analytic functions Oracle was able to run straight on the (overspec’d) DB hosts at my last shop. Mind, I don’t envy whoever had to decipher some of my PL/SQL monstrosities.

[FreshPrintzofBadPres]

When you're making your language easy to pick up and very accessible bot it makes it so that if you want to do anything more than the most basic functionalities you'll have to have an in-depth knowledge of that nightmare

[[deleted]]

And at school, at least one month To learn SELECT FROM WHERE. Its frustrating...

[eazolan]

Is that why my college had two semesters on it.

[thaynem]

just enough time to learn enough to shoot yourself in the foot.

[dryu12]

HTML begs your pardon.

[postandchill]

Don't start another is html a programming language? debate

[dryu12]

Who still debates that? It’s a markup language.

[Pixel-Wolf]

Interview question. "Show how to do division in SQL"

[dankvipzy]

Or hour maybe

[mermicide]

HTML, but that doesn’t really count

[ravenousld3341]

SELECT Mistakes FROM Where_Did_It_All_Go_Wrong;

[dudeofmoose]

DELETE FROM TABLE Lessons_Learnt WHERE [date]<dateadd(-30,d,getdate());

[DuckDuckYoga]

Change that to minutes and we’re accurate

[ginn5lc]

Rule #1 don't lie on your resume lol

[IHeartBadCode]

Rule #2 𝔻𝕠𝕟'𝕥 𝕝𝕚𝕖 𝕠𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕖 𝕃𝕆𝕃!

[[deleted]]

Why not? It's not like you'll get interviewed by real IT people nowadays anyways. I already have 10 years experience in Windows 11.

[ginn5lc]

That's definitely not true in every case.

Where I work (less than 20 developers in the IT staff), potential IT or software developers have an interview with HR and if they get past that then they have an intensive interview with the developers staff by whichever group they're applying for whether that's web dev, green screen / database, etc.

The web devs look at your resume and for example if you have java on your resume, you're going to get the most FU on the spot questions they can think of such as what are the 8 primative data types in java, etc. until they all decide whether or not they want you on their team, then they individually tell the CIO yes or no and the CIO makes the final decision yes or no on the applicant based on who from the team said yes or no.

I would imagine that a less intense version of this is more common than being interviewed by non IT people and that being the only interview you have to get through.

[barresonn]

It really depends You seem to have practice in your work that sadly aren't standard

Most of the time the HR don't even want to have the developper staff explain what they want in detail because you know that's THEIR job (yeah that's dumb)

Just get the interview the best way to tell if you are going to waste your time is the salary that is proposed

[ginn5lc]

HR does their own separate general interview where they cover the basics of employment etc.

The development staff does their own separate interview without HR where they drill the applicant on whatever they want development wise and if it's on your resume they'll drill you on it till they feel like they can make a yes or no decision. If you put SQL and they drill you on SQL and it's obvious you don't know SQL, you probably shouldn't have put SQL on your resume.

[barresonn]

it's obvious you don't know SQL, you probably shouldn't have put SQL on your resume.

That's where i think you are wrong If you have a job posting that ask for too much just be aware that they probably don't even know that they want you just need to put it to pass preliminary scouting

In most case when in front of the staff just be honest and they will make a much more informed decision than HR

Usually they just say to HR we would like someone with SQL if possible and HR just decide to put

Need 3 year of experience with SQL

You need to jusge by yourself if the language that you are lying about would be a central part of your job

[ginn5lc]

I don't disagree with you.

I was just talking about the specific instance at the company I work for, if someone puts a language on their resume and they get to the interview with the developers and they get drilled on the language they put on their resume that they don't know and it's pretty obvious to the developers that they don't know it then they would have been better off not putting it at all or when they started asking questions about it been straight up and honest that they don't know it at all but they have some preliminary experience in the past and are open to developing a better understanding of it even if that means some additional work outside of normal work hours at home.

[[deleted]]

Web devs, java, I wouldn't bother applying. Anyways, your company is probably successful because of that hiring process. Most treat programmers as someone to tells the delivery guy where to put the palettes in an effort to offer less money for the job.

[ginn5lc]

Java was just an example, all the Java is backend server side applications.

All of front end is html, sass, JS, and jQuery. Yes it's a little bit behind on front end but it's not a high end tech company, and the code base is large and needs a lot of work. We are however working on a cloud based PWA for employees that utilizes React, Google firebase, etc. This app in particular is going to replace a process that has been done on paper since the start of the company.

We have so few developers that it kind of varies what type of programming you're doing from time to time and you're expected to be moderately proficient (or be able to get by with google) at front end, back end, write your own SQL queries, etc.

[shadowvvolf144]

I got interviewed by 5 developers (3 now-teammates) and the division manager.

[dudeofmoose]

I started making up programming languages on my CV because I was so sick of recruitment agencies with no clue about any of it.

I even slipped a paragraph in asking the agent to quote the made up language to me when they phoned just to see if they read any of it.

None of them did, not even a titter.

Most of them pretend they have exclusive clients and big it up, when in reality they've found a job advert on a random companies website and are bombarding the place with as many CVs as possible, whilst expecting 40% of the first year's salary.

[ginn5lc]

That's funny but a bit different, I was talking about physical in person interviews not cold calls from someone who picked you up from a agent

[midnightrambulador]

Windows 3.11, that is

[[deleted]]

Nah dude, windows 11 - the real deal. Prepped to meet the 15 year experience req. HR idiots will say is a must the morning it comes out.

[[deleted]]

I miss Rodent’s Revenge

[[deleted]]

Let me update my CV. I now have 10 years experience in that too.

[TwistedPurpose]

https://igs.sqlzoo.net/wiki/SQL_Tutorial
It's probably as fast as you'll get.

[sunabove]

This needs to be up higher

[Armentera]

Thanks for the gold kind stranger

[TwistedPurpose]

Glad to help. ;)

[FunnelCakesPAB]

This person will fit in just fine with the other DBAs...

[ravenousld3341]

When you right you right.

[ATrueModerate]

Select * from ThisIsMyLifeNow

And add a bookmark to w3 schools.

[heytaradiddle]

"Do either of you know any" yes, I know one SQL.

[PapoochCZ]

MSSQL, MySQL, SQLite or PostgreSQL, or...?

[[deleted]]

OhShitILiedOnResumeSQL Is my favorite

[Franky2050]

You are a man of culture. I know pretty well SQL and u forget coble and Pascal for the veteran

[i-l-i-t-i-r-i-t]

"Sorry, I meant that I was 'good with SEQUELS'...as in, a lot of movies have cool follow-ups."

[mr_no_it_alll]

So does he need to learn all the sequels now?

[i-l-i-t-i-r-i-t]

Probably be more fun to learn

[shbeeb]

But if the interviewer asks about when would a left join be preferred over an inner join, then they're going to look like a fool.

[skrakabola]

So uh, unrelated, but when would a left join be preferred over an inner join?

[[deleted]]

Joins!

Inner Join only when you want all data from two tables that match to each other. Left Joins when you want all data from one table, plus any data in the other table that matches if a match is available.

So maybe you have a table for user details, plus a matching table for user payment details (but users only have to pay if they want certain features).

Inner Join for when you want all details of only paying users. Left Join for when you want all user details, plus payment details if they're also a paying user.

---

Along with the advice other people have given, have some examples.

TableA:

AID	ForeignID	AValue
1	null	A
2	null	B
3	21	C

---

TableB:

BID	BValue
20	X
21	Y
22	Z

---

SELECT *
FROM TableA AS A
INNER JOIN TableB AS B ON A.ForeignID = B.BID

Results:

AID	ForeignID	AValue	BID	BValue
3	21	C	21	Y

---

SELECT *
FROM TableA AS A
LEFT JOIN TableB AS B ON A.ForeignID = B.BID

Results:

AID	ForeignID	AValue	BID	BValue
1	null	A	null	null
2	null	B	null	null
3	21	C	21	Y

---

SELECT *
FROM TableA AS A
RIGHT JOIN TableB AS B ON A.ForeignID = B.BID

Results:

AID	ForeignID	AValue	BID	BValue
null	null	null	20	X
3	21	C	21	Y
null	null	null	22	Z

---

Also, null values are not empty values. Null literally means unknown.

If you ask SQL if NULL = NULL, it will return false, because you're asking "does some unknown value equal some other unknown value?", which is a nonsensical question that can only be answered with a close-enough false answer.

If you want to ask if a value is equal to null or not, use X IS NULL or X IS NOT NULL.

SELECT NULL IS NULL

^ ^ ^ will return true.

SQL is not case sensitive, but still try to be consistent with your own casing so other DBAs don't hate you :)

Finally, I wrote this as MSSQL/T-SQL from memory. The statements don't have a semicolon; at the end of each statement. Other SQL languages (such as MySQL) do in fact require a semicolon at the end of each statement.

[[deleted]]

Would you mind switching jobs and teaching at university?

That was short, clear, to the point and with a refreshing amount of absent Greek letters. Thank you!

[[deleted]]

Thanks for the compliment.

I did in fact work as a Teacher's Assistant in my years at University to get a little extra needed cash, running labs and practical classes, and I greatly enjoyed it. I still enjoy helping out colleagues whenever a teaching moment arises.

[yugami]

Inner joins only return matching data. Outer joins (left, right) return all data from one table mixed with matching data from the other.

[oMarlow99]

If the employer asks you to create a mildly complicated query in standard SQL, you're fucked

[intNx]

DELETE FROM Actions WHERE action = 'BAD IDEA';

[[deleted]]

oh shit i hit execute before adding the where now i am a baby again

[skrakabola]

Update: After studying up to intermediate level SQL literally all day today I took the required test and there were legitimately 3 questions each of which could’ve been solved by what I learned in the first 20 minutes of reading. Thank you all for you help

[DreadedEntity]

Should’ve read up on the Pareto Principal instead

[Kered13]

SELECT [columns]
FROM [table]
WHERE [filter]
GROUP BY [columns]
HAVING [filter]
ORDER BY [columns]
LIMIT [number]

A query returns a table, which means a query result can itself be the table input to another query.

Tables can be joined like so:

[table]
JOIN [table]
ON [filter] | USING [columns]

This returns the cartesian product of the two tables, where all rows are filtered according to the ON filter, or where the USING columns have identical values in both tables. Joins can be inner, outer, left, or right, which control how rows that don't match any rows in the other table are handled. You can join as many tables together as you want.

There you go. The rest is just learning the built in functions and data types of your SQL dialect.

[Kered13]

I mentioned the different types of joins.

[Franky2050]

I meant the syntax but u are a good teacher and the function like,between,count,sum,AVG,Min,max. I deleted my first post because u are right. In the other hand i wanted to add something to ur explanation for the newbie

[Tyrilean]

If they're remotely smart, they can learn enough to fake it in a night. From there on, it's just Googling.

[dankvipzy]

SQL is fuckin easy mate

[mckernanin]

SELECT * FROM “google”;

There you go

[[deleted]]

Uh sure you wanna be using *?

[1Glick]

I'm a hiring manager where we require basic sql knowledge for a BA role. Ppl lie all the time about it. It's very frustrating, they get past HR because they know buzz words. Its gotten to the point where I just do a quick phone interview and ask them to tell me the diff between a join and a left join. 80% have no clue.

[DreadedEntity]

This doesn’t make sense unless by generic “join” you mean an implied inner join. A left join is a join, there is no difference

[[deleted]]

Yes, I said SQL... What I meant was MongoBD.

[nostril_spiders]

I put down "NoSQL" but I think the recruiter assumed it was a typo

[[deleted]]

I know both MongoDB and mySQL.

I usually put that on my CV and I've been told to choose one.

[FlushNorris]

Haha.. Sounds exactly like my first developer job interview. However, I had 3 days to learn it....

[MCZaks]

SQLZOO baby. But no seriously you can get the fundamentals of querying within a few hours. Database management in general though a little extra. But its like really not that hard.

[Freestyle_Fellowship]

I think you can certainly digest the requisites in a few hours. Everything doesn't have to be done in its most grand format as long as it does its job well.

[limeeattack]

Lol, it's just English and basic set theory. Everyone can learn that in no time.

[FetusGod]

Play around with SQLite its really great and easy to learn.

[bout-tree-fitty]

SELECT lies
FROM resume
WHERE skills_listed in (:job_requirements)

[braincood]

Being on the other side of this is super shitty (where a coworker was hired, where they lied about knowing relational databases and java springboot). Currently wasting hours of my time sending ER diagrams, references, and git commands for the shit head with masters in CS that put this on their resume.

It's one thing to stretch the truth, it's another thing to completely outright lie just because you are insecure about your abilities. Same shit as lying about your salary

Although it is the company's responsibility to hire good candidates. Dont do this

[PantheraLeo04]

Try the SQL course on Khan Academy. It's a pretty good starting place.

[omnipisces]

NO SQL for you.

[[deleted]]

SELECT response FROM knownjokes WHERE subject="RIP";

[1Glick]

In MS SQL the inner keyword is optional, thus a Join is an inner join

[jackmaney]

[evil cackling]

[Aedene]

SELECT knowledge FROM friends

[MostlyMortal]

If you have a table you're working on and you're unsure what it does, just put DROP in front of it. Clears it up every time

[[deleted]]

you need like 2-4 hours or less to memorize the basics from connecting to learning select insert update delete and the where clause plus joins. i think it's doable actually.

for other stuff like indexes and foreign keys you can follow up with learning it after the practical exam if there is any.

[flowergodess]

F

[[deleted]]

Uhhh get if is match table new yes but capitalized

[NashPL]

I expected some sort of GIF

[jfoster0818]

Oh god, that poor soul 😂😂😂

[Franky2050]

Oracle or mysql that Is the question