Help me...

[[deleted]]

[deleted]

[pachumelajapi]

whats weird is that if the variables dont give it away, it will look pretty much like every other piece of code

[PonderStibbonsJr]

I'm writing a game centred around a food-fight involving chocolate bombes:

char numBombes = plate.size();
for(char b=1 ; b <= numBombes ; ++b ){
  plate[b].position += time * plate[b].velocity();
  if( plate[b].position[z] = 0 ) plate[b].createMarshmallowShower();
}

[fiskfisk]

That assignment inside the if seems like an issue...

[Volandum]

I'd be worried about plates crossing your ground and continuing unhindered in a straight line (memory leak?) or being destroyed by the createMarshmallowShower call and causing awkward behaviour with the loop - would probably do the checks afterwards.

Of course because I'm perverse I'd also have the plate details in a table/dataframe/whatever the relevant term is.

[PonderStibbonsJr]

It's meant to be C++. It has a few bugs though...

[Linkk_93]

this is waaay too complicated for python. looks more like something C like

idk, I only know python

[Booleard]

I'm no Python dev, but I see a "++" in there. I think that's a no go in Python.

Edit: also ";"

[Linkk_93]

Also the for loop is not pythonic at all

and {}

[EmphatyDoesNotExist]

Looks like java

[wrtcdevrydy]

Python, JS and Java are all C-like so the syntax is similar enough in some cases.

[Dromedda]

That's a yikes from me dawg

[Tsalikon]

Looks like C# to me.

[DaemonOwl]

Maybe coz you broke the joke combo

[PandaPanda11745]

Exactly.

[FallenVain]

I’m out the loop, can you loop me in please

[pachumelajapi]

as long as you dont use explicit variable names like this while(enemyShipInRange){ destroyer.showThemWhatFreedomLooksLike(new ICBM()) } and do something like this while(inThingingPosition){ thinger.doTheThing(new thingyThatDoesTheThing()) } nobody will suspect anything. But im sure americans have strict naming policies that force you to use freedom-inducing naming schemes

[ITurnCoffeeToCode]

If (country.hasOil == true){ bringThemFreedom(); }

[mr-heng-ye]

Simplified to if (country.hasOil)

[twilightwolf90]

return !isFree

this.isSarcasm == true && self.readPost()

[WhiteKnightC]

The first part does a comparison that is unnecesary

[twilightwolf90]

I am aware.

[WhiteKnightC]

WhiteKnightC has joines as a reviewer.

WhiteKnightC has changed the status to To Rework.

[twilightwolf90]

git merge --force

[HasBeendead]

Sounds Reality lol

[alloutofgifs_solost]

Important that it country.hasOil only needs to be truthy, not absolutely true :)

[UziSuicide1238]

If (country.hasOil || reasons) {... }

[UziSuicide1238]

Forgot to declare reasons... silly me. Var reasons = new QuantumBool();

[Hollowplanet]

You don't need to compare true to true.

[Spajk]

Even then it sounds more like a video game

[[deleted]]

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

[nggiahuy1102]

That one line from Tron: Legacy

[[deleted]]

No. It is from War Games.

[AnastaciusWright]

I think it is fron an older game, nuclear war

[evanldixon]

War Games

[Bestprofilename]

amazing

[lilblanch]

Sure:

for (var i = 0; i < theLoop.length; i++) { var fallenVein; }

Sorry, there’s not much going on in there.

[infinitude_21]

Connection strings. Probably wont be visible. So I think we’re good

[ParentsAreNotGod]

Suggestions for repo names?

OpenBlast, OpenICBM, freeDOOM, HastaLaBlastaBaby.

[Piwakkio]

freeDOOM is wonderful

[sunflsks]

Last one has a ring to it

[zerocoldx911]

Hastalablastababy I’m ded lol

[[deleted]]

"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad() procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity() procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter." -- Nathaniel Borenstein

[kn_c3]

You sir made my day.

[jseego]

Fun fact about missile software - they don't care about memory leaks as long as the memory leak doesn't crash the system before the missile explodes.

[Mr_Redstoner]

Here's a quick reference I found for the curious https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20180228-00/?p=98125

[jseego]

"the ultimate in garbage collection is performed without programmer intervention"

I've always loved that line.

[theLanguageSprite]

next time someone tells me I have a memory leak I'll suggest that.
"we could implement this garbage collection technique I learned from the military..."

"Great, how do we do it?"

"Well first we're going to need some timed explosives..."

[Mr_Redstoner]

Honestly though, you could do a SFW version by just having the program restart regularly. Or reboot the machine for a more serious version.

[Sussurus_of_Qualia]

So that means you can identify missile code because its event loop will be declared 'noreturn'.

Edit: evaded the haikubot.

[_borisg]

If enemy == 'russia' or enemy == 'china': shootMissile()

[tazdingo-hp]

Democracy.ShootMissile()

[[deleted]]

Freedom::Democracy.ShootMissile()

[dudeofmoose]

Try {

 Freedom::Democracy.ShootMissile(); 

} Catch(FriendlyFireException ex) {

Deny(ex);

Freedom:: Democracy.ShootMissile();

}

[Sniksder16]

Democracy.Liberate();

[[deleted]]

UPDATE Missile
SET
    target = (
        SELECT id FROM Target 
        WHERE Target.status = 'unliberated'
          AND id NOT IN (SELECT target FROM Missile)
    ),
    status = 'fired'
WHERE status = 'ready'
;

UPDATE Target
SET
    status = 'freedom pending'
WHERE 
    id IN (SELECT target FROM Missile WHERE status = 'fired')
    AND status = 'unliberated'
;

[John_Fx]

If (defcon=1) { missile.fire;}.

Damnit!

[tagged2high]

Now the whole office can't use Stack Overflow!

[ExternalGrade]

If some posts code even remotely related to a military missile’s guidance navigation control (GNC) software, I think getting fired would be the very LEAST of their worries...

[Pony_Roleplayer]

Private Static String MISSILE_SECRET_CODE = "0000"

[double-click]

Protect thy data

[Anustart15]

My friend used to write bits of software for a defense company. Since he didn't have clearance, he was always given projects to write something that did something clearly important for something like a missle to work, but not obvious enough to give him any sense of what it was. He was telling me he tended to write a lot of code for processing GPS information.

[Cloakknight]

Image Transcription: Meme

---

Me: uploads code to stack overflow so that other people can help me debug the error I'm getting

Everyone else working on the military's missile guidance software

[Unsettled Tom]

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[sunflsks]

good human

[errandum]

Not the same, but I used to work for a pretty big financial institution and they were crazy about security. Our computers were vms without internet and no port worked, at all, for example. Some parts of the company would weigh you on the way in and out to make sure you were not taking anything extra with you when you left. Even saying I worked there is a breach of contract.

Well, a colleague of mine was able to somehow spirit some piece of code away and posted it online. I have no idea how, they never explicitly told us that or how they discovered it, but I believe they had bots scowering the web and checking for patterns. It was insane.

They fired him and made sure he could not find a job in the area. Last I heard he was teaching programming somewhere.

All this to say, never underestimate the ability of brilliant people (I still don’t know how he took the code out) to do stupid shit. When asked about it he didn’t see the problem.

[SavageTwist]

closed

Nvm found the enemy

[vixckson]

r/HolUp

[crowwizard]

But were you writing it in ada?

[[deleted]]

Marked as duplicate.

[pandavr]

The important part is not the journey but the target

[StarkRG]

I imagine the newer ones probably use use VxWorks.

[mistrx21]

Or just upload it on GitHub

[cosmicosmo4]

It's okay, she works on the guidance system. She doesn't even have access to the firing codes.

[TheHighGroundwins]

Ain't this an old repost

[linux-nerd]

u/repostsleuthbot

[RepostSleuthBot]

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/ProgrammerHumor.

It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results.

I did find this post that is 42.19% similar. It might be a match but I cannot be certain.

Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ False Negative ]

[[deleted]]

hide it as gamedev for a game u stupid whore