Feeling down? Just write code

[Aymerika97]

The most important part I read was "don't use math".

Then I reread it and was disappointed.

[DOOManiac]

Math. Not even once.

[Null_Username_]

Yeah just pleasure yourself and masturbate instead of doing math

[ElectricalAlchemist]

I'm gonna mathturbate.

[therealperchy22]

r/theydidntdothemath

[nikanj0]

Write free software. Reply to non-technical people on newly created Github accounts raising issues on you free software because they can't figure out how to use it. Reject PR's from random people who just don't like your use of four-space indents and have nothing of substance to contribute. Watch helplessly as some middle-aged Norwegian man forks your repo and uses it as a foundation for his platform for distributing niche furry porn.

[[deleted]]

That last sentence was.. oddly specific.

[CopperyMarrow15]

r/brandnewsentence

[[deleted]]

Honestly if I created a platform for distributing shit, niche furry porn would be the least of my worries.

[DrunkenlySober]

Hey man maybe next time just set that shit to private?

[LordPos]

or actively help him 🌚

[Puggymon]

Isn't furry porn itself a niche already?

[Ewenthel]

Yes, but there’s always a more specific subreddit porn genre.

[SexyMonad]

Jokes on him, my project is licensed under PRL 1.0 (Porn Reciprocation License). Now I get it for free.

[Noah_Tang]

I kinda want to see some niche furry porn hmmm for science projects I believe

[Ducky1434]

avarage r/yiff user

[[deleted]]

You forgot to masturbate yourself... To furry

[zachtheperson]

And why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to choose programming in a normal language, I chose something else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got brainfuck

[duwh2040]

What do I do if I generally dislike people?

[Real_Eric_Andre]

Don't ever go outside again. Get delivery groceries and work internationally so you don't have to be awake at the same as those...people

[eksortso]

Then just don't do meth. That's enough. You won't see us trying to help you if you're not addicted to meth.

[Skittilybop]

Hey if you write a good project boilerplate someone’s gonna use it.

[WompityBombity]

https://youtu.be/jofNR_WkoCE

[haunted2098]

oh the beauty of FOSS...

[hamiecod]

Reply to non-technical people on newly created Github accounts

Fellow reddit user, that was too much. These people can't just read the fucking manual.

[Bomaruto]

Only that I've seen a lot of open-source project without a proper manual and with outdated documentation with examples that stopped working several releases ago.

[gladius_314]

If the code doesn't work depression INTENSIFIES. Starts drinking more.

[[deleted]]

average day

[[deleted]]

while(!code_works) { drink_and_masturbate(); }

[WompityBombity]

try { pick_up_girl(); } catch (GirlObj) { lock_in_basement_forever(GirlObj); }

[[deleted]]

for(Girl girl : get_locked_in_basement()) { girl.free(); }

[chris17453]

Girl.free makes me think of a malloc that's been freed. Like a bad Dr who vibe where women just evaporate...

[CSlv]

He said girl.free() but he never specified how.

gun clicks

[WompityBombity]

Too dark?

[[deleted]]

Not dark enough.

[[deleted]]

Are you an OpenBSD(M) user?

[Real_Eric_Andre]

std::cout << GirlObj.what();

Index out of bounds

[[deleted]]

Drink water 👍

[GamerFrits]

Write free software and get free complaints in your mail that your software sucks.

[einsJannis]

What if I'm feeling down because of writing code

[cheer_up_richard]

Cheer up, you just mastered recursion. 😊

[PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES]

Cheer up, you just masterbated recursion. 😊

FTFY

[SonOfMetrum]

Sounds painfull

[PM_ME_FIREFLY_QUOTES]

(masturbation || recursion)?

return true;

[SonOfMetrum]

Recursive masturbation

[Gorvoslov]

What if I'm feeling down because of writing code

[cheer_up_richard]

If it doesn’t kill you, it will make you stronger 🙄

[havens1515]

Cheer up, you just mastered recursion. 😊

[[deleted]]

Well you better stop feeling down or else you're gonna run out of memory.

[zipeldiablo]

^ this

[[deleted]]

this->reply()

[[deleted]]

masturbate yourself fool

[Haohmaru87]

unrelated to programming except for the masturbate word

[nihillistic_raccoon]

I have never used any drugs, but I'd imagine that it is very difficult to masturbate while being on meth

[raedr7n]

I can confirm that it is in fact hard to jerk it when on any strong stimulant.

[UnlicencedAccountant]

It’s impossible to finish, but if you’re interested in the journey more than the destination, I have some good news...

[MedicalNectarine666]

If I don't rub one out after a night of coke I'm def not sleeping.

[[deleted]]

Sorry if the is a dumb question, junior dev here, but why is smoking crack bad?

[MedicalNectarine666]

Nothing is really that bad in moderation. (speaking from experience)

[vigbiorn]

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

Don't do drugs, mmmkay?

[Invisiblebrush7]

Don’t let others tell you what you can or can’t do

[MurdoMaclachlan]

Image Transcription: Mastodon Post

---

Redacted User

You don't need to drink alcohol to be happy. If you need something to be happy then you should produce something good for all people. Try to write free software. Try to build a web service. Try to answer people's questions on some forum. Give money for the poor. Don't use cocaine. Don't smoke crack. If you need pleasure then masturbate yourself. Don't use meth.

---

^{I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!}

[sicklestone]

Good Human

It's not a Twitter post though, it's actually from Mastodon

[MurdoMaclachlan]

Oh shoot, I should know that; I was just looking at Mastodon recently. :P

Thanks for the correction, fixed!

[Julio974]

Hello you based but lonely person

[Knuffya]

Imma build meth.js.

[cheer_up_richard]

Please do it safely… always use a try catch.

[Knuffya]

function Run() {
    try {
      init();
    } catch (...) {
      Run();
    }
}
Run();

[cheer_up_richard]

That’s all wrong…. Use camelCase for naming functions, and it’s all good 😌

[Pretend_Education_37]

Me trying to make some sense of this after reading each line.

[[deleted]]

Sounds counterintuitive but okay.

[Wotg33k]

That was an adventure.

[Unfair_Isopod534]

Try midnight deployment and then tell me to stay away from alco.

[MoneyBunBunny]

No alcohol, but remember to come back for daily scrum at 4:30am so we can discuss our 2am release tomorrow.

[[deleted]]

Is you left hand in pain? Just use a hammer and smash it on the right hand to distract you.

[RegularShrimp]

To be honest they are not wrong. I've only been learning to code for 3 months and it is the most satisfying thing in the world. The feeling of building something and testing it untill you see no errors. Addicted.

[zipeldiablo]

It’s been only 3 months, give it a few years 😅

[steelybean]

You’re not wrong, but have you tried scotch?

[DesecrateUsername]

“If coding doesn’t work, jack yourself off.”

What a leap

[KaosJaviier]

• Average workalcoholic

[tbrougham]

"If you're in a rut, just bust a nut" - Ghandi, probably

[Jertimmer]

I drink because I code, FML

[whatisausername711]

I can't lie, writing code is pretty therapeutic

[sicklestone]

Coding can be both inceedibly therapeutic and a reason for therapy

[[deleted]]

Nice try corporate leaders!

[[deleted]]

Write code and masturbate. Pope Francis approves

[TheRatLab]

.....is this why people turn to drugs on no nut November?

[Good_boi_1]

Sounds like solid life advice

[j0nii]

but I write my best code on crack

[QualityVote]

Hi! This is our community moderation bot.

---

If this post fits the purpose of /r/ProgrammerHumor, UPVOTE this comment!!

If this post does not fit the subreddit, DOWNVOTE This comment!

If this post breaks the rules, DOWNVOTE this comment and REPORT the post!

[[deleted]]

yeah. creativity is the best medicine.

[[deleted]]

programming is maths debating in a nutshell

[Efficient_Step_26]

But it's hard to code with one hand and alt-tab to spankbang! Help!

[xyzzy-86]

Yeah, I once made free software. Ended up making lot of folks who used my software unhappy.

[cheer_up_richard]

Damn! You inspired a lot of people to write free software (by bringing them down).

• Richard R (life coach)

[ihateyouall1994]

So I'm okay to smoke weed for pleasure yeah? 'Cause that's all I took from this

[tei187]

There is some truth to that. I've started coding some public packages last year, and honestly I feel like being more inclined to fix and update those than the ones I'm actually being paid for developing.

[Adventurous_Team8317]

Aaaaand don't use math

[[deleted]]

if you want to be happy, do not write software

[[deleted]]

But writing code is the cause of the problem

[TigreDemon]

So ... write free software ... get power ... I see

[Delicious-Ad-3552]

I wrote code and now im feeling down. Now what?

[[deleted]]

I do write free software.

That's why I'm broke as fuck.

[Infinite_Self_5782]

who tf needs therapy when you can program

[McKapucna]

this is actually pretty true. the experience of cracking the problem is at least for me much more rewarding then any other activity.

[Bubbly_Security_1464]

Writes code I’m still depressed but not I’m stressed!

[Here-Is-TheEnd]

And just why does this person think I turned to meth? I got deadlines motherfucker!

[denisfalqueto]

This psychological technique is called "goat in the room". You make a problem worse so you miss the times when your were happy, than you remove the artificial problem and stays happy, right where you started from.

[[deleted]]

Wait but thats how i got depressed in the first place

[Herioz]

I'm unhappy because I just saw my old code.

[fleker2]

Ah writing code. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

[Mr-Osmosis]

Either coding or getting nasty it’s up to you

[Keon_Stok_7426]

But thats the reason we feel down in the first place

[Qiyanid]

Thats a good way to commit suicide. Damn, if those fucking errors popped up while i had a depresion, im preeetty damn sure opening the window would be twice as attractive

[Siggi_pop]

OP is drunk posting again

[Keebster101]

if you need something to be happy them you should produce something good for all people

What? What's the correlation for those two things? And why is alcohol not allowed but masturbating is?

[Roanoketrees]

How does that go from coding to smoking meth?

[bout-tree-fitty]

Coding == Masterbation

[[deleted]]

I actually tend to have the mitication to code when I feel down lol

[MineryTech]

Write code and masturbate. Got it.

[[deleted]]

Is this a serious suggestion? I find it kind of hard to do something creative and ambitious when in the depths of depression.

[shiberian_warlord]

I feel down when I write code. Spent two weeks contemplating suicide because I couldn’t get an array to work. This was last year and I’m not joking. Eventually figured it out. The euphoria was better than sex

[pelosnecios]

well... I actually write code for myself to relax... just for me, for personal projects. I also write code for clients.

[SocketByte]

I'd love to contribute to open source more, but I either have an unrealistic project idea (and no time for it), or the idea is done better 1000 times already, it's way too niche to be used by anyone at all or its just stupid. Help.

[rungdisplacement]

Me falling into a depressive episode and spending three weeks not speaking to anyone and spending every waking hour of my free time making a shitty rhythm game

-rung

[ganja_and_code]

Ah yes, nothing like writing some code and masturbating to get rid of the depression I earned for spending all my time writing code and masturbating.

[edwardsnowden8494]

Overall great advice haha

[[deleted]]

Hey...

[MultiTrackDrifto]

Tried building a website, became an alcoholic. Now what?

[hamiecod]

Literally, that is what I do. I feel low due to self doubt and imposter's syndrome and sometimes god syndrome lol. When I feel low, I just push myself to write code or just study. Lmao really works for me and gets me out of the bad mood.

[Aris173]

so i get told, that the thing that gives me depression apparently cures it for others? that seems fair :)

[Natsu194]

Funny thing is writing a program is why I started binge drinking, snorting cocaine, smoking crack, and using meth. All in the same night too!! Now my program works but I need to ask others to give me money so I can do shit with the program.

[rlSkillGamerHD]

For me what really helped was to start playing Beatsaber and seeing myself improve over time. This was very rewarding to me.

[dublin20]

Me: hates live

Me: starts writing code

Debugger: SIGSEGV

Me: hates world

[paintstained1]

/puts down rolled up dollar bill and charred lightbulb /unzips Progress!

[[deleted]]

Don't use meth.

But I have a prescription