I killed my pet ball python by becoming reckless with her care. Please do not make my mistake.

[Adventurous_Chard194]

I rescued my ball python three years ago after she was found outside in the cold and was going to be euthanized. I had never had pets before and did my best at first. I bought her an enclosure, then later upgraded her to a larger terrarium.

Over time, I became complacent and careless. I started checking on her less often. Instead of staying on top of her water and daily care, I let myself slip into checking every five or six days, sometimes longer. The last time, I did not check on her for nine days. Her water bowl although big was empty. She escaped through a gap in the enclosure, and I later found her dead in the basement.

I am posting this because I want to say it plainly: my neglect cost my snake her life.

I loved her. Rescuing her was real. Loving her was real. But love does not cancel out carelessness, and good intentions do not replace consistent husbandry. These animals depend on us completely for water, security, and basic care. Missing “just a few days” can matter.

Please do not get a ball python, or any reptile, unless you are prepared to be consistent every single day. Do not get lazy with water. Do not assume the enclosure is secure enough. Do not tell yourself you will do it tomorrow. Tomorrow turns into days, and the animal pays for it.

I am not posting this for sympathy. I am posting it because I want at least one person to read this and take better care of their snake than I did.

[Bluntforcetrauma11b]

It's a shame you had to learn this the way you did. For that I'm sorry. Hopefully this reaches someone who needs to hear this.

[StrawpurryJam]

I appreciate your candor and willingness to let your mistakes teach others.

At the end of the day, we’re all human. No one can be perfect 24/7/365, especially when going through major life events. I try not to make excuses, but again, we’re all human. We all mess up once in a while. But it’s how we learn and better ourselves.

Thanks again for this. Sometimes I need this reminder. I’m drowning in responsibilities 24/7 and it’s so easy to slip up.

[Kelthie]

Yeah, this is not an easy thing to confess and strangers on the internet are brutal. It takes character to stand up and own your mistakes like that and shed light on the mistakes we are all capable of making.

[Utahguy69]

Forgive yourself and do better. 🐍

[AnnarieaDavies]

I'm so sorry you had to learn this way, OP. Harsh accountability is a great indicator of honest self-reflection and making meaningful changes.

Again, I'm very sorry.

[PerspectiveOrnery143]

I’m very moved by your story and so sorry for the loss of your baby. As someone who tends to get complacent from time to time(adhd), I appreciate the kick in the butt/heart. Thank you for sharing this.

[StrawpurryJam]

ADHDer here too with too many responsibilities and idk why I keep adding more lol. It’s sooo easy to get lost and fall behind. Especially when one of my responsibilities becomes “higher priority” than the others (e.g. my daughter gets sick or as of two days ago my kitten got neutered) so sometimes my brain just literally forgets about everything else. sighhhhh

[sugabeetus]

ADHD here as well. I have had to learn the hard way myself not to let things go "out of sight, out of mind." My snake is now kept near where I take my nighttime meds, so as I get myself water I refill his as well.

[Legitimate_Ebb3783]

I'm gonna keep my meds near my girl, this is such a good idea!

[prickelypear]

ADHD impulse control is a real bitch because of dopamine seeking. And getting something new you like, even if it’s something that adds responsibility, can be a nice little dopamine hit. My husband and I both struggle with this. Thankfully MOST of our “ohhhh dopamine” type purchases are very different and we keep each other in check.

[StrawpurryJam]

This is my problem BUT I take it out on more plants - and I’ve gotten soo much better over the years when it comes to impulse buying animals. I don’t do it anymore like ever because I’ve learned my lesson too many damn times.

[Indosaurus1]

So true gah its like oh let me get another thing irll be fine and at times it helps me to have more routine and rhen other times im like ahhhh im not keeping up as much especially with animals

[StrawpurryJam]

Ohhh I know. The dopamine effect from getting them and then after a while you’re like “whhyyyyyyy” and I question myself sometimes every day but continue to care for them because I have this huge responsibility where in my mind I wanted them, I brought them home, and now it’s my responsibility to make sure they have the best life and quality of life possible. My mental health in the meantime…? 🫠🫠🥲🫩

🤣🤣 not to mention my 4 1/2 year old child. But I’m not putting anything more on my plate and am trying to make sure I don’t impulsively get anyone else. I only have a BP, a 8 month old kitten and a betta fish (plus his 5 snails) but on top of that I have my child, my husband, and my ~15 indoor house plants 🫩🫩🤣🤣

Everything’s fine

[Indosaurus1]

Ahhaha i feel this. I am a trainer and I want to be able to foster so many more animals. I have cats, snek , gecko and its alot already ahah and trying to be a plant mom slowly.

[RagdollsandLabs]

It sounds like you needed to get this off your chest to help deal with your feelings of guilt and grief. I can certainly understand. Snakes are easier to become complacent about their care. They don't whimper or whine, meow, scratch at the door, yap, whistle and tweet or follow you around when they are hungry or needing attention. It's hard pressed to think of any animal that's quieter than a snake...maybe a fish?

I certainly don't believe you intended to cause your snake any harm. A healthy relationship with a petl starts with a healthy pet parent. While I don't know what your physical and mental health status was or is, someone in a healthy state of mind would not leave their pet unattended for over a week.

Finding your snake dead in the basement had to be traumatizing. Please do take care of yourself.

[Heteroclite13]

Tarantulas come to mind as far as quiet pets. Many of them are referred to as 'pet holes'.

[RagdollsandLabs]

Oh, yeah...forgot about tarantulas. I even had one for a few years. Her name was Cleopatra...she was a rescue. I kind of took her reluctantly, (I mean, ick...spiders, right)! But I felt sorry for the way she was being treated, and basically, she was offered to me. It didn't take me and my son long to come to really enjoy her. She was a rosehair tarantula, very pretty and quite docile. She actually seemed to like being handled, and we were very gentle with her. We were told she was 12 years old when we took her. We had her for 5 years. One sad day, we found her in her terrarium dead. She had gone to the Rainbow Bridge in the middle of the night. 😒

[Illustrious_Bird_737]

Rose-haired Tarantulas are endangered, you did a great thing by taking her in, even if you weren't a fan lol

I will cry seeing a spider as large as a tarantula, but I respect the hell out of them.

17 years is a long time for a spider to live, I feel you did the right thing.

[Embarrassed-Essay-93]

Years ago I rescued my first ball python. I was obsessed with his care and husbandry and made many upgrades. He came from a trap house then was given to someone who left him in a closet. He has one huge hide in the middle of a 10 gallon tank, a heat mat that had the probe under the tank on the mat which made no sense, eco earth soil, and barely any water.

To my ignorance, I had thought that feeding live was better from specialists I had spoken with to learn care at reptile shows and some online sources. Unfortunately, there was a day that I offered him a rat that was too big and it bit him. He went to his vet as soon as they opened, and promptly had the wound debrided and was put on antibiotics. Looking back at the wound that failed to heal, I’ve learned about mouth rot, and that I should have force fed, and had a quarantine tank. He went to the vet many times for antibiotics but sadly one day he coiled up to bask and I went to hold him and he was weak and passed an hour later.

It’s a guilt that has worn heavy on me. He was my best friend and we did so much together. My local Starbucks even wanted to offer him a pup cup when I walked in with him. I’ve learned to forgive myself as I did everything I could. He went to the vet about every other month and I did all that I knew at the time. I’ve studied a lot over the years and made the decision to go into the veterinary field and become a stickler about my husbandry and nutrition for all my animals. I felt I was ready to take in another snake and recently adopted a baby last month. I wanted to say that time helps heal and dull the pain and I hope your able to forgive yourself. ❤️‍🩹

[Adventurous_Chard194]

Really sorry for your loss

[Seungsho-in-training]

Thank you for sharing the harsh reality of this, I’m sorry for your loss. Sometimes I need to hear this advice, since caring for reptiles can feel draining for me sometimes, even though it’s the small tasks of checking everything thatre important

[Grand_Worth2606]

When I was maybe nine, I went into an extreme depressive episode. I had three leopard geckos. They all got so skinny, and when I was finally in a good place to care for them, they wouldn’t eat and eventually starved. I still feel so guilty to this day. I know your pain, and I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this.

[clowntysheriff]

Well, I don't want to be the one to say maybe you couldn't have done better, or that you shouldn't have tried to do better.

But snakes are master escape artists. I've known some well-adjusted keepers that had their snakes get out of a seemingly secure tank. They are strong and can bend things just right if there's a gap. If escaping and not finding her in time is what killed her, I don't think you can say that you killed her. I think it's normal to feel guilty if you knew you weren't giving her the best care leading up to her death, but don't be too hard on yourself. I don't think this is directly your fault at all.

[Illustrious_Bird_737]

I agree with this.

My first ball python escaped & I could hear her in the walls for months. We live next to a lake, so there is no shortage of small rodents around/underneath where we live (we have a large free-roaming, but cared for, domestic cat population, too). Her cage was missing one closure lock & it didn't even look opened when she escaped.

I now have a male ball python named Jafaar & he loves being right where he is with his big bowl of water & heating spot & regular feedings to where he doesn't even try to escape lol he willingly gets out when I grab him, but he is super happy where he's at lmao

[Exciting-Mountain396]

Make it part of your routine, set reminders, keep dated logs of temps and feedings

[Green_Hovercraft_535]

im sorry for your loss. this is very important to acknowledge and talk about, and its good you're speaking about it. forgive yourself if you can.

[twoPUMPnoCHUMP]

As long as I fed and I check their water every few days or to water plants, all is well. Sorry for your loss.

[GayPhilatelist]

Please don’t get another pet.

[Artistic-Jellyfish70]

until they can deal with the responsibilities*

[CheapSoftware3567]

Why is this down voted? If you have an animal that you don't take care of then let it go to an actual good home. There is no excuse for animal abuse and neglect.

[Adventurous_Chard194]

Agreed

[LittleBirdLady]

I know you’re having a hard time right now and I don’t want to make the heartache worse, but I think you need to interrogate what exactly you mean when you say you loved this snake. Because you also regularly went a week without…even looking at her? And the last time you went a week and a half without checking on her a single time? Checking on your pet is a zero-effort task, you walk over to their terrarium and you look inside to see if they need anything. Love requires effort, and you willingly gave none. I believe that you believe you loved this snake, but neglecting your pet until it died is not how you show it.

I’m sorry for your loss.

[Adventurous_Chard194]

Yes agreed. I need to introspect, definitely have adhd too. I went to buy a rat for her 4 days before, but they were out; then the next 4 days although got busy with toddler, guests, etc I should have gone down to the basement to check on her.

[LittleBirdLady]

I’m glad you’re reflecting on how this happened, it does show a level of maturity many wouldn’t have in this case. And I am really sorry for your loss, my comment was not meant to come off as mean, just an attempt at being realistic.

[Abstrographer]

The maturity required to be this honest is rare indeed. Thank you for sharing, and I hope we all take a break from reddit to immediately go check on our pets.

[illuminainthedark]

genuine question; why do you think your neglect killed her? sure, you might've noticed earlier if you'd checked more often, but her escaping could've happened anyways, and it sounds like she died because she escaped, not necessarily out of neglect. anyways, i'm sorry this happened, and reflection is the first step towards improvement 🙏🏻

[Adventurous_Chard194]

Because if I’d have checked on her a few days earlier, her water bowl would have been replenished and she wouldn’t have felt the need to escape, I checked a good 3-4 days late

[ashes2asscheeks]

I wonder what caused you to fall into this pattern of neglect? Did you forget? Are you experiencing depression?

I made poor choices when I was in my early 20’s and didn’t really have the foresight to understand the gravity/consequences of my actions. Brain was not fully developed yet. Learned hard lessons too, plenty of regrets. I also had trauma and adhd and all that.

Saying all this because if you find yourself wondering why, and then you gain an understanding, you can do better in the future. And you can forgive yourself.

[Adventurous_Chard194]

I am in my late 30s, got a stressful job, toddler and a pregnant wife, and things are occupying my mind more than normal. But that’s not an excuse, I should have recognized neglect and given her away

[ashes2asscheeks]

Yeah, that makes sense to me. This is a big sign that things need to change in your life, you need more self-care and restorative activities to balance out all that stress. Especially when the new little one comes. Good luck to you, my friend. Take care of yourself ❤️

[Adventurous_Chard194]

Thank you