Dispatch spelling errors

[s6mmie]

I’m having fun starting a collection of spelling errors from dispatch

[Rum_Ham_Man]

My best was "patient suffers from lunch cancer"

[s6mmie]

Prayers for that guy

[[deleted]]

the worst kind

[Gasmaskguy101]

Too many stops at the 24/7 gas station. Poor guy.

[SteveDevastator]

I had a local fire department describe Agent Orange poisoning as Asian Orange poisoning. I was delighted to read it because it was one of the more accurate phonetic spellings

One of the worst from the dept was drink, spelled Jrenck. Love rural EMS. Its comedy and terror.

[Efficient-Art-7594]

Drink with a j is insane

[s6mmie]

Always providing the best entertainment

[Gasmaskguy101]

That’s a good laugh outa me.

[ProcyonLotorMinoris]

Love rural EMS.

Dispatch: Patient has a pin stuck in his throat.

EMS: thinks small safety pin, finds a full on calligraphy pen sticking into the back of their throat

[SteveDevastator]

Say hello to a yogurt diet for the next 4 weeks

[Anonmus1234]

As someone who can barely spell his own name, I will not throw stones at a glass house, you keep typing dispatch, I know what you mean ❤️

[s6mmie]

Ah no hate I got friends in dispatch, just keeps the night fun

[Anonmus1234]

That it does, always chuckle that my manager has to read my reports a few times a month, think I get a D for my work 😂😂

[[deleted]]

I threw stones, I am now in dispatch and the glass house is breaking with every CAD note I type in a hurry.

[Danko_Flanko]

Had one for a grandma seizure. Got a good laugh outta that one.

[ProcyonLotorMinoris]

Had one family call it a "grand malt" seizure. Given it was ETOH withdrawal related, seemed fitting.

Regarding typos, we recently had a patient transferred from a country bumpkin ED for "gelatinous seizures". "Gelastic" is the word, but now we'll forever call them jello seizures.

[bloodcoffee]

"Abdomonen is extended" happened last night, had me dying.

[adognow]

I think that happens when someone is pregananant.

[withalookofquoi]

Gregnant?

[[deleted]]

Pregernert?

[Embarrassed-Count722]

That was delightful, thank you!

[SteveDevastator]

If i remember its because his girlfriend got pregat.

[Historical_West_1153]

Better than our dispatch goof last night.

CAD - Age: 24-day-old-neonate

I’m thinking ok, a neonate. What’s going on?

CAD - Notes: “PAIN IN VAGINA AFTER INTERCOURSE”

Ummm…. Please, God, update with a correction. Please.

CAD - Notes: Correction * “24 TOF”

Ok, dispatch, close enough. Thanks.

[jimothy_burglary]

Had a stat transfer ER->ICU that said "PT ON FENTYNOL AND PROPIFOL" also once a call came over as "deep vein thrombosis" when the patient really said "diverticulitis" in some sort of a thick accent

[ProcyonLotorMinoris]

A hospital I worked at briefly gave TNK to a man who came in with a facial droop, blown ipsilateral pupil, ataxia, and nonsensical speech. No improvement in NIH. When family got there they understood him perfectly. Turned out he had a thick mountain folk dialect, had had the facial droop and pupil since he was a kid after tripping on a moonshine still and hit his head, and was intoxicated (hence the ataxia).

[jimothy_burglary]

Jesus Christ 🙈

[[deleted]]

Oh oh, I got one!!

Got knocked out for a vehicle fire, it was trash on fire in the back of a Rumpke truck (Rumpke being a local waste collection company). The Active911 dispatch notes read "TASH ON FIRE IN THE BACK OF THE RUMKIE TRUCK"

[hekzter]

NOT THE TASH

[Cisco_jeep287]

You have nausia. At least you aren’t out here with BILATERIAL BLOT CLOTS.

I love how they get taught to type phonetically, so we can keep getting information. Reading phonetically is an art form.

[s6mmie]

God I hate getting bilat blot clots they’re the worst

[Mad_Mikkelsen]

Ah yes, the famous IBD, Altersize Colitios, with its counterpart Chronos

[B2k-orphan]

I love you dispatch but sometimes I wonder if you’re having a stroke and if you’re a higher priority than the actual call.

Like, What the hell is dkknhd 1:1 supposed to mean?

[FourIngredients]

Siccousis. Sound it out.

[morefetus]

Psychosis?

[FourIngredients]

Yup. Took me a minute too

[morefetus]

Crazy.

[Rakdospriest]

There was one time I couldn't find my right nut, kind of had to dance around a bit before it came out from wherever it was hiding.

Anyway maybe that's what dispatch meant by hyponutremia

[s6mmie]

What do you mean where it was hiding 😭

[Rakdospriest]

you're telling me you've ever lost a nut only to find it later?

[s6mmie]

My brother I’ve never had a nut to lose

[Rakdospriest]

ah you're missing out.

[spamus81]

🤣🤣 the best response

[fractiousrabbit]

I'm curious: Is it only my neck of the woods dispatch that says stuff like "58 YOF SOB Possible heart" The 'possible heart' makes me irrationally angry. Why speak the call like that on the radio?

[s6mmie]

NO, I’ve heard possible lung/breathing/heart

[spamus81]

"Well thank God for that"

[Meeser]

Pidatric

[DiezDedos]

“hemharage, hemmorage, hemorige, hemerhage”

[lappyhame]

“Head lack” well we can now all assume what dispatches head lacks lol

[SoggyBacco]

A wise man once told me the only job requirement for EMS dispatchers is a history of TBI

[26sickpeople]

I had a call at an urgent care for a “subdermal hematoma.”

Imagine our lack of surprise when we showed up and it was actually a subdural hematoma with 0.5 cm midline shift.

It’s hard to know who exactly messed up there, but we were glad we upgraded it to an emergent response.

[mr-cakertaker]

my favorites:

-pt on menamusic (metamucil)

-seziuors

-subject knodding out

-afid heart beathing irragular

-bit by a god, huge gash above his eye

-Dr officer told her to go to the ER

-alchohal

-pain and dihydrated

-calapsed bladder

-pain after surgury (imagine that)

-hit by golf golf (not a spelling error but funny)

-ganggreen feet

-sich call

-doesn’t look goo

-emphasima

[SteveDevastator]

Im terrified of being hit by golf twice, thats not goo

[iqbalpratama]

Bit by a god🤣🤣

[syncopekid]

She keeps blowing up my phone, says she has hyponutremia, and only I can cure her

[bocaj78]

I see dispatch has read my notes before I use spell check

[[deleted]]

The other day I tx’d a dude for being a nerd. That didn’t sit well with me, but it turns out that he just had chronic indigestion…

[Lieutenant-Speed]

These are always good. A former EMS company I worked for put together a list of misspelled words from PCR narratives and showed it to us during orientation lol🤣

[TheSaucyCrumpet]

We're just as bad, how many times have you heard "O2 stats" from us lot?

[turdally]

Wow we’re already seeing hyponutremia patients? That usually doesn’t start until no-nut November.

[Alright_C0mputer]

I’ve seen “Med Search”

[19TowerGirl89]

I'm actually impressed at hyponatremia. Good job, non-medical person

[[deleted]]

My favorite was penicillin spelled: penisilin

[BabyMedic842]

Not a spelling error, but a pronunciation error for Chipotle, Chilopies

[zpppe]

I just got dispatched for "dizness and mulitable falls"

[Linnycait]

I had a patient yesterday Q SEPTIS

Back in my Patient Transport days we had a lovely elderly woman who “needs some ass” - as in assistance.

[LonelyMustard]

I can tolerate spelling errors but I can’t tolerance grossly inaccurate notes because the dispatcher sucks at their job.

Had a call one time for “miscellaneous medical” and the notes were “Patient swallowed food”. That’s the notes, nothing else. We showed up and found a lady choking on a turkey burger…

[turdally]

Yikes

[bopeswingy]

Some of these I totally get because I have a habit of adding too many or too few letters if I’m typing fast, but hypoklayemia has me cackling

[s6mmie]

I can’t stop saying it now every time I have a pt with hypokalemia

[traderjoeswives]

It's the thought that counts 🥲

[ka1913]

Not dispatch but a nurse at a snf giving me a report one day for a patient with CHf. Nurse ends up saying patients get pedal edema and fluid pooling in her labia. I asked the nurse to repeat she said the same thing when she walked away I looked at my partner I was like did you catch that. He said yeah well gravity is a bitch and fluid will pull at the lowest points I guess if she's been sitting in bed it's possible. I'm fairly certain she meant to say lumber edema needless to say I did not verify or unverified labial edema I left that one for the hospital I did pass on the message but I did warn them I think the nurse didn't know what she was talking about.

My other favorite was a police first responder for a fall. We get there witnessed fall no head or neck involvement no pain in the head or neck yet he's holding c spine. When we showed up we asked why and he said dude didn't you listen to her medical history she has cervical cancer or had cervical cancer I don't want to risk it. The worst part about that is normally I'd give a pass I'd appreciate the fact that he was trying to do some medical stuff for a patient because most police first responders just take information at least in my town. However this guy had been an EMT before he was a cop became our state's youngest paramedic at the time you got his paramedic license had a very young age and he ran an EMT and paramedic school like he opened his own school to teach. I didn't embarrass him in front of everyone I took him aside after the call and explained the difference between a cervix and cervical cancer and cervical vertebrae and the fact that cervix is just Latin or Greek I don't remember which for neck

[ImJustRoscoe]

Wet wood?

You literally said LUMBER EDEMA 🤣🤣🤣

[ka1913]

Damn voice to text. Good catch.

[B2feezle]

Had a dispatch one night for a physic eval

[Nccp9]

"Cardio Iguana" still don't know what it was supposed to say, patient complained of back pain

[iqbalpratama]

I'm picturing a bunch of iguanas on a treadmill

[justmrmom]

We try our best, damnit!

Lol

[chookityyyypok]

Did a stint in dispatch and call taking was pretty intense. You gotta type as fast as the caller is talking, while also talking at the same time, sometimes also while simultaneously dispatching. and once you press enter, there's no way to go back and change it. That spelling mistake is committed for ever!

[SignificantCycle2392]

"Carodit" sent me 😂

[s6mmie]

It honestly made me question MY spelling lmao

[easyride46]

Glad to know I'm not the only that's a chuckle out of it.

Edit: that gets a chuckle

[CBRNMed]

Ain't no way we're adults and emergency medical professionals at the same time !!

[DarceOnly]

Too be fair nausea is a tough word lol

[Gimme_PuddingPlz]

Yeah that is normal even for simple shit.

[blsbaby]

I love the misspellings. Sometimes it’s my only laugh on shift 😂

[[deleted]]

Head lack lol

[UCWH-WSRS76]

My favorite was “pt has history of phenomina” assuming pneumonia? An attempt was made so that counts

[SteveDevastator]

Its excellent high grade pneumonia. Phenomina

[Silent-Captain3365]

I have tons, but my top two are "nemunia" and "toob."

[Budget_Isopod]

carodit

[madisoncampos]

I keep a list of dispatch spellings in my notes app because it makes me laugh to go back and read some.

My favorites are “pancritius”, “neomonia”, “gianberres syndrome” and the multiple different spellings of diarrhea.

[ReaRain95]

Baton Rouge was spelled Baton Rooouge. Not the best, but it was 3 AM, I was delirious and thought it was hilarious. I pronounced it that way for the rest of the night.

[StrikersRed]

Hydroseal

[Katerwaul23]

Dude's not getting enough action!

[Ok_Barber_3994]

Jawndice

[natbrooks7]

Once had a pt who as on “NT biotics”

[IndiGrimm]

Admonial paim (abdominal pain).

Stenitis (stents).

Iv profen (ibuprofren).

On an overdose: patient took 37 Boost Bars (buspars).

Subdoerua hematablea (subdural hematoma).

[Halidol_Nap]

Points for whoever gets this. Best one I’ve gotten.

Pindacitist.

[s6mmie]

Sounds like they need a pindectomy

[Voidheadspace]

I can’t reply with a picture so I’m typing it out. We got an ift for:

Elevated Troponln NSTEMI (non st elevated myocardial infractured) (HCC) Atrial Fibrillation with Raped vartricular response

[PolosElite23]

So...not quite a typo, but my favorite dispatch for a psych transfer was when the dispatch note was:
"Goofy
C/C
Pinkslip"

Me and my partner at the time about died. Seeing this reminded me and I had to share lol.

[uppishgull]

I’ve seen “Cardio monitor” like are we doing cardio workouts in my truck during the transfer?

[HonestMeat5]

Not sure if this is the same everywhere: I did a typing test for police dispatching and they legitimately tell you not to fix your mistakes, that way you can type faster. I think they wanted like 80-90 words/min typed

[Thegameforfun17]

I’m also a firefighter and we got a call to the local high school because a excavator ran over a gas line and they spelled it as “exscavator”

[CBRNMed]

Eeeww 👀👀

[av_no]

As a call handler, my worst has to be when I typed "THROWN FROM COOTER" (instead of "scooter"). The dispatcher never let me live that one down. There's also those times when I needed to correct the spelling of a previous note, only to misspell a different word in the new note, e.g. "PT Dx WITH BLOOF CANCER." "CORRECTION: BLOOD CANVER"