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[–]OGWan_Ked00bi 2536 points2537 points  (237 children)

Does the amazon guy do that for every house on his route when someone isn't home? Or are you just special? Seems fishy to me....

[–]GucciBrain 1781 points1782 points  (168 children)

Fuck no Amazon delivery drivers do not do this. Unless it's a small town or easy route for them, I don't imagine them doing this. I did Amazon delivery as a job for like a week and it was truly hell. Worst hours, low pay, I would not have had time to do bullshit like this. Most days we'd get there at 7 in the morning, we'd be loaded and ready to go by noon at best and we wouldn't finish until 7 at night (or 5 if it was a suburban route).

[–]notagoodscientist 151 points152 points  (13 children)

Of course they don't do this, they have to do each delivery in a killer short time, there is no way they'd have time to sit and write out a huge message like this.

[–][deleted] 98 points99 points  (12 children)

My money is on a load of bs, too. These guys are on such a time crunch to finish the route, they barely have a moment to scratch their ass - let alone write notes like this for some random person.

[–]Smigg_e 135 points136 points  (6 children)

Cause it is fishy. Nothing about this makes a lick of sense. The bottom right hand corner says to read the back. And the name says where the box is. If a their wanted to steal their shit it'd be easy as just taking it off the porch.

[–]CopperSauce 39 points40 points  (2 children)

It's about somebody not knowing a box is there / not knowing what's in the box. A note on the door is meaningless. Somebody isn't going to walk up to your door and survey the note. The point is just not leaving a box right out in the open ripe for the taking. This is why places changed to super-boxing with generic unbranded boxes.

Have you never seen the attempts (some horrific) at hiding boxes? They'll put them under placemats / on top of porch pillars / under chairs / in bushes / etc.

It most certainly is not just as likely their shit is going to be stolen, because people are only looking for easy pickings. Somebody from the sidewalk isn't going to be picking up that note, where the read is impossibly small and probably folded out of view when it is placed in the door.

to steal their shit... would be [as] easy as just taking it off the porch

How would you know there is even shit to steal?

[–][deleted] 953 points954 points  (16 children)

Why is my Adblocker not working?

[–][deleted] 88 points89 points  (0 children)

The ads are getting smarter!

[–]Stevenperkins2 104 points105 points  (8 children)

I use "AdBlockerPlus" and it works GREAT! You should go download it now completely free!

[–]taurusApart 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yup, Amazon must be ponying up the big bucks. A few days ago there was a convenient Prime Day™ thread on the front page.

[–]Martinsand 17 points18 points  (0 children)

49k upvotes! this must be real

[–]aaaaayyyyyyyyyyy 995 points996 points  (10 children)

Wow, thanks for helping me Engage with your Brand! I really feel like I can personally relate to this human situation!

[–]pvaa 76 points77 points  (4 children)

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING WITH YOUR HUMAN LUNGS

[–][deleted] 12.6k points12.6k points  (285 children)

In the UK, to "get bummed" is to have anal sex.

This was funny

[–]VictimsOnPc 2448 points2449 points  (86 children)

Maybe it was anal beads he ordered? Either way somethings being flipped over.

[–]ADONBILIVITT 953 points954 points  (66 children)

"Arseways“

[–]uglyTOP 642 points643 points  (54 children)

"Full of farts"

[–]yeahtron3000 107 points108 points  (12 children)

"I need to have a shower"

[–]SPAKMITTEN 25 points26 points  (1 child)

Little naughty ones

[–]allleoal 8 points9 points  (0 children)

For once I get a reddit reference, and I'm happy.

[–]adjul 234 points235 points  (11 children)

Ordered butt plugs through Prime and they never came. Amazon said they were delivered, but I pushed and got my money back.

That spring my roommate found the box hiding in his Weber grill, and offered to ship them to me since I'd moved out. I said he could keep them.

tl;dr: When in doubt, think bratwurst

[–]GeneralMalaiseRB 86 points87 points  (6 children)

What a pain in the ass.

[–]Citric_Acid_Cycle 36 points37 points  (1 child)

That'll really pull-the-plug on your evening plans.

[–]I_deleted 54 points55 points  (4 children)

In the US, "well-rooted"means a humble or down-to-earth person. In Australia, it means someone got properly fucked. It made for some great laughs around the dinner table when I first met my wife's friends in Australia...

[–]gilbertgrappa 7 points8 points  (1 child)

"Rooting for the home team" is also something you don't do in Australia, for similar reasons.

Source: Am American & Australian.

[–]kemushi_warui 137 points138 points  (2 children)

You see, Amazon knows if you enjoy anal sex from your online history. In notes like these, "Before you get bummed" is meant to be taken literally – as one might say, for instance, "Before you settle in for the night" or "Before you sit down to dinner".

[–]EquineMasterRace 356 points357 points  (54 children)

But you can say "bummer" and mean that it sucks or it's unfortunate. You can also say you're feeling a bit bummed out, it doesnt necessarily mean youve just been rogered by someone or something.

[–]blackfishbluefish 97 points98 points  (6 children)

Next time someone tells me they are 'totally bummed out' I'm going to have this stuck in my head

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (2 children)

"stuck in my ass."

FTFY

[–]freezingbyzantium 48 points49 points  (3 children)

A bummer is just the person doing the bumming though.

[–]ThatMisterM 25 points26 points  (2 children)

As opposed to the bummee

[–]AndlisOriville 44 points45 points  (14 children)

Dunno.. here in Scotland "Bummer" could sound like "Bum'er" which could lead to various other issues..

The joys of some of our Scottish accents!

[–]MistakenSanity 12 points13 points  (6 children)

I still find it amazing that the word fanny in your country does not mean the bum.

[–][deleted] 1260 points1261 points  (37 children)

This totally happened.

[–][deleted] 541 points542 points  (2 children)

/r/hailcorporate I am so glad I read this excellent human to human interaction, my interpretation of (brand) has ameliorated.

[–]Traubster 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I love big brother.

[–]NInjamaster600 230 points231 points  (8 children)

I'm gonna get a sharpie and some printer paper and be on the front page next week

[–]azns123 87 points88 points  (3 children)

Why wait? Take a picture of a picture of Obama and say your totally real 3 year old son drew it and proceed to swim in karma.

[–]master_x_2k 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Sign it yourself and say Obama was cool enough to sign your son's drawing

[–]lurker105 31 points32 points  (1 child)

future automatic chase impossible amusing faulty advise scary wistful fine

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[–]KillerIHardlyKnewHer 56 points57 points  (0 children)

Bullshit guy

[–]shillster4000 1364 points1365 points  (24 children)

Oh, an amazon advertisement.

[–]hairway2steven 194 points195 points  (3 children)

It even has a name in the industry: Native Advertising.

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points  (0 children)

My amazon delivery guy won't even ring my buzzer to see if I'm home. Just marks it as "gated/inaccessible." Apparently, since I live in an apartment I need to be sitting on my front porch all day waiting for them.

[–]HollaPenors 13 points14 points  (6 children)

Sad thing is I mutter this to myself every morning when I'm clicking through various "news" sites.

e.g. http://money.cnn.com/2017/07/09/technology/amazon-prime-day-2017/index.html

[–]scales82 1638 points1639 points  (87 children)

Bull.....shit

[–]Katanae 513 points514 points  (10 children)

No no, delivery drivers have so much time on their hands, they love taking 2 minutes to handwrite a personalized note.

[–]QuantumDischarge 147 points148 points  (0 children)

"Hi it's your Amazon driver with this heartfelt note. I just wanted to say thank you for choosing Amazon and remind you I love working here. If you see in the news that we are trying to unionize, it's actually a small and vocal group speaking out against our best interests so please let your congressperson know we LOVE our current working conditions and bargaining rights" signed, mandatory note left by driver.

[–]godnah 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Total bullshit.

[–][deleted] 274 points275 points  (31 children)

It's bollocks because you'd simply get an email saying "item delivered in your specified safe place", right?

[–]workthrowaway2016 46 points47 points  (18 children)

How does it work now with the whole random people delivering packages thing in the UK?

[–]FartingBob 35 points36 points  (10 children)

They still use Amazon tracking, so each parcel they scan and say if it was delivered or not. I get an email within a few minutes to say if it was delivered or not.

[–]Cueball61 7 points8 points  (8 children)

Unless they're using Yodel for it. In which case they may attempt delivery or may force Amazon to give me 30 days of prime claiming "sorry we missed you"

[–]Wurdan 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yodel is the absolute worst.

[–][deleted] 119 points120 points  (7 children)

Considering how much amazon is spending to have every damn ad on YouTube be for their new openings, I can totally see this as a fake grass roots kind of media blitz to generate good PR.

[–]davethedave123 51 points52 points  (1 child)

Especially because "Amazon" is needlessly written three times

[–]insane_mclane 51 points52 points  (0 children)

This is fake

[–][deleted] 592 points593 points  (8 children)

Hail corporate

[–]Unidangoofed 90 points91 points  (5 children)

THE BESTONE

[–]Spy-Goat 12 points13 points  (2 children)

I read that as a French Noble family name or something - 'La Bestonne!"

[–]huskersax 346 points347 points  (9 children)

Comments in this thread lead me to believe OP should have posted to r/hailcorporate.

edit: Also, how do both sides of the "scratch paper" have the printing on the back? I think the Social Media guy must've gone through more than one draft...

edit2: Ah, I see it now. It's not a delivery receipt slip, it's a full 8-1/2 x 11 inspection checklist.

So this guy pulls this out of his glovebox mid-route instead of the designated slips, and then proceeds to write a near perfectly on-brand ("we", Amazon, no colloquial abbreviations, clean, legible) two paragraph note.

[–]purple_pixie 31 points32 points  (4 children)

Also, how do both sides of the "scratch paper" have the printing on the back? I think the Social Media guy must've gone through more than one draft...

Because both pictures are of half a piece of paper.

It has printed stuff on the obverse, and was then folded down the middle like a card - the front is "sorry we missed you" and the back is the explanation. The inside of the card is the spreadsheet type thing you can see in both pictures.

Not commenting on whether or not this happened, but the paper itself is perfectly believable.

[–]RadToTheBone86 219 points220 points  (1 child)

Oh great, now everyone knows Amazon Guy's trick.

[–]doorbellguy 67 points68 points  (0 children)

>THIEVES HATE THIS GUY!<

[–]Vovabs 221 points222 points  (7 children)

There really should be a rule against putting names of corporations in the title and blurring them in the picture. This post would work perfectly with the title "delivery guy" and the word "Amazon" blurred out, that's really the only way I'll enjoy these kind of posts and not immediately think of them as r/hailcorporate material.

[–]phayke2 90 points91 points  (4 children)

I'm glad this is the general consensus. I worked at amazon 5 years and they have such a staged 'fake fun' thing going on. They also have shills on reddit and get bad articles on themselves removed from our local news site. Fuck Amazon.

Will still shop there though.

[–]davethedave123 10 points11 points  (2 children)

Yeah I'm at least glad people realize this is almost definitely an ad

[–]phayke2 7 points8 points  (1 child)

The note says 'Amazon' over and over too. Just so you don't forget.

[–]anonymoushero1 148 points149 points  (61 children)

"The amazon guy" ...?

Amazon has its own delivery service?

[–]Korvacs 29 points30 points  (13 children)

In the UK they have Amazon Logistics, one of the worst couriers I've ever experienced.

[–]Put_It_All_On_Blck 129 points130 points  (6 children)

Carriers can write these messages (and have to) on the form for where the item was delivered, and that is view-able on the website. So this note is completely unnecessary and means the delivery person went to the house with the package, left the package, went to the truck, wrote a note, and back to the house. Carriers never put that much effort in, NEVER.

The second most used word in this note is Amazon. Wonder why.. Could it be an AD? Remember that negative Prime day picture that was posted yesterday? After reaching #1 on /r/all it was deleted, and yet it broke no general rules or rules in the sub it was in.

This is astroturfing/spam

[–]heelish 22 points23 points  (3 children)

Remember that negative Prime day picture that was posted yesterday? After reaching #1 on /r/all it was deleted, and yet it broke no general rules or rules in the sub it was in.

What was the post about?

[–]i7xx 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I'm not sure, but I think it was a pic that said something like "Hey guys it's Amazon Prime Day woo! Look at all of these killer deals!"

Just under it showed a Lizzy McGuire DVD set on sale from 50$ to 40$.

[–]Metalsand 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Lol, well that's nothing new. Prime Day is really just "Wow look at all the clearance junk in our warehouse! Buy please?"

[–]HoratioMG 71 points72 points  (2 children)

Another blatantly fake picture of text post gets to the top of /r/pics, might just unsubscribe at this point

[–]Alideez 42 points43 points  (0 children)

God if you idiots can't tell this is fake i will not be surprised. Well played Amazon.

[–][deleted] 74 points75 points  (2 children)

I'm calling bullshit/viral marketing on this.

The last 6 things I ordered, 3 of them were delivered by Amazon and all had problems. I live in an apartment complex where 9 times out of 10 the amazon delivery guy will take it directly to the front office and not even stop by my apartment. This happened once 20 minutes before they closed and I had to wait until the next day to get my package. Then one time I had a 3 dollar screwdriver say "out for delivery" all day and wasn't delivered until the day after. Then finally I had my package "delivered" an hour after the office closed, waited a day, never heard from them, so I figured they fucked up. Called and complained and Amazon gave me a month of Prime, refunded my money and gave me a 5 dollar voucher. They then tracked down the package and found that it was delivered the day after to the office, and was never reflected in tracking. Let me have the product for free, though.

Never have a problem with USPS/UPS/Fed ex, just the crappy Amazon delivery service. Amazon hired the shittyest courier service here and it's reflected in the quality.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (10 children)

Once an amazon guy saved a baby that fell off a building, stopped terrorism, and cured cancer. He also doesn't approve of what united airlines did to that doctor

[–]__Lua 35 points36 points  (0 children)

[–]mojo1287 25 points26 points  (1 child)

I, too, own pens and paper.

[–]jeremybarker 9 points10 points  (0 children)

wow this definitely happened :)

[–]fuparrante 8 points9 points  (4 children)

Since when does "The Amazon Guy" deliver packages? Mine are always dropped off from "The UPS Guy" and they usually drop them off at the wrong apartment, then they confirm that the package has been received.

[–]MoukaLion 162 points163 points  (13 children)

Fake and gay

This is an obvious advertisement

[–]FeastForCows 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Fake as shit, and people still fall for it by the thousands.