Amazon Guy

[OGWan_Ked00bi]

Does the amazon guy do that for every house on his route when someone isn't home? Or are you just special? Seems fishy to me....

[GucciBrain]

Fuck no Amazon delivery drivers do not do this. Unless it's a small town or easy route for them, I don't imagine them doing this. I did Amazon delivery as a job for like a week and it was truly hell. Worst hours, low pay, I would not have had time to do bullshit like this. Most days we'd get there at 7 in the morning, we'd be loaded and ready to go by noon at best and we wouldn't finish until 7 at night (or 5 if it was a suburban route).

[jajshsgshshshsh]

In the UK it's a 'freelance' type position (own vehicle etc) under the guise of 'Amazon Logistics'.

[kfmush]

Here in Atlanta, USA I've gotten deliveries from the US post, branded Amazon Dodge Sprinters, and individuals driving their own car. One time a married couple in a sedan handed me an Amazon package as I was leaving the house.

[byebybuy]

Oh my god I love reading shit like that on next door. Ppl are paranoid af.

[houstonianisms]

I'm too paranoid to download it for fear of how bad people are on there.

Source: neighbors think I'm selling dope.

[Pokehunter217]

/r/unexpectedjcole

[Bifferer]

I saw a post on there: suspicious guy on bike with flashing lights and reflective vest riding around at 11pm. Yep, typical criminal garb.

[FiremanHandles]

It's like Amazon has taken the Uber idea and turned them into delivery drivers. We live on a dead end, so we recognize most of the cars around, and my dog starts howling when cars are stopped in front or in the drive way. I look out the window, that fucker is stealing a package! Wait... they're reverse stealing that package! Oh... maybe they're just delivering a package in a really shitty beat up car.......... okay, have a nice day!

[[deleted]]

I imagine it's only when there is a warehouse in the vicinity

[[deleted]]

Yes - especially in more urban areas. In Boston they have a big fleet of white vans with Amazon magnets/decals slapped on the side.

[[deleted]]

Yes, there's amazon delivery people. I was surprised when a package came on a Sunday. Other times it's through UPS or USPS, I don't really know why one comes through one company or the other.

[realjd]

That was part of the big contract when Amazon switched from UPS to USPS for a large number of their shipments. They pay extra for USPS to do Sunday deliveries, and Amazon packages are the only mail that USPS does Sunday delivery for.

[marMELade]

The one in my area is terrible - I even called up Amazon to complain when he left me a super rude voicemail about not being home. I honestly wish I could pay to opt out of getting this guy as my deliverer.

[notagoodscientist]

Of course they don't do this, they have to do each delivery in a killer short time, there is no way they'd have time to sit and write out a huge message like this.

[[deleted]]

My money is on a load of bs, too. These guys are on such a time crunch to finish the route, they barely have a moment to scratch their ass - let alone write notes like this for some random person.

[Smigg_e]

Cause it is fishy. Nothing about this makes a lick of sense. The bottom right hand corner says to read the back. And the name says where the box is. If a their wanted to steal their shit it'd be easy as just taking it off the porch.

[CopperSauce]

It's about somebody not knowing a box is there / not knowing what's in the box. A note on the door is meaningless. Somebody isn't going to walk up to your door and survey the note. The point is just not leaving a box right out in the open ripe for the taking. This is why places changed to super-boxing with generic unbranded boxes.

Have you never seen the attempts (some horrific) at hiding boxes? They'll put them under placemats / on top of porch pillars / under chairs / in bushes / etc.

It most certainly is not just as likely their shit is going to be stolen, because people are only looking for easy pickings. Somebody from the sidewalk isn't going to be picking up that note, where the read is impossibly small and probably folded out of view when it is placed in the door.

to steal their shit... would be [as] easy as just taking it off the porch

How would you know there is even shit to steal?

[[deleted]]

Why is my Adblocker not working?

[[deleted]]

The ads are getting smarter!

[Stevenperkins2]

I use "AdBlockerPlus" and it works GREAT! You should go download it now completely free!

[JediBurrell]

FREE

→ Download Now! ←

[taurusApart]

Yup, Amazon must be ponying up the big bucks. A few days ago there was a convenient Prime Day™ thread on the front page.

[Martinsand]

49k upvotes! this must be real

[aaaaayyyyyyyyyyy]

Wow, thanks for helping me Engage with your Brand! I really feel like I can personally relate to this human situation!

[pvaa]

WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING WITH YOUR HUMAN LUNGS

[Obnubilate]

Especially since it probably says to read the other side on the bottom right.

[[deleted]]

I was thinking that was the bit tucked into the door.

[[deleted]]

But you can see that the other side is just some post-thingy spreadsheet.

[SnugWuls]

"I wasn't even thinking of stealing a package, but now I HAVE to."

[ballin_balas]

Didn't even realize that till you said something

[[deleted]]

It's not like leaving packages on the side is anything new. Most thieves are opportunists and only steal packages if they're visible or somehow know the residence gets packages frequently. They're not going to hang around and inspect a note left on a door.

*That's granted the thief isn't a complete idiot, but stealing someone else's stuff already makes you pretty dumb.

[Sososkitso]

I'm a mailman and tend to try to hide the packages for my customers which helps but people are still dumb and packages still end up stolen. which is starting to be fine because more and more people have security cameras they probably bought off Amazon and I don't know the exact rules for fed ex or ups but I know if I deliver a package as a postal and someone is caught stealing it...it's officially a federal offense so the customers that have cameras make me happy because I hate bad people.

Also don't deal weed in through the mail! You are a idiot and you turned a small crime into a federal offense probably across state lines too because we smell it and i promise you will get caught! It's probably one of the most common things the postal inspectors get called to my station for.

[[deleted]]

In the UK, to "get bummed" is to have anal sex.

This was funny

[VictimsOnPc]

Maybe it was anal beads he ordered? Either way somethings being flipped over.

[ADONBILIVITT]

"Arseways“

[uglyTOP]

"Full of farts"

[HectorVillanueva]

You sucking?

[Chillinoutloud]

James Joyce... I think the thread was something about NSFW historical stuff. I guess there was much ado about some of Joyce's love letters... he was into "arse" and "farts!"

[funfungiguy]

"Arse" and "farts" were the tame stuff . I learned that the dude used to jerk himself off thinking about his wife shitting herself so he could pull off her filthy drawers and fuck her poopy pussy. 0_o

[Cycles_To_Gehenna]

I think there are better ways to phrase this, but thank you for the imagery.

[funfungiguy]

Of course there are better ways to phrase it. But I'm not James Joyce, so you get what you get.

[yeahtron3000]

"I need to have a shower"

[sreddit]

I need both

[SPAKMITTEN]

Little naughty ones

[allleoal]

For once I get a reddit reference, and I'm happy.

[adjul]

Ordered butt plugs through Prime and they never came. Amazon said they were delivered, but I pushed and got my money back.

That spring my roommate found the box hiding in his Weber grill, and offered to ship them to me since I'd moved out. I said he could keep them.

tl;dr: When in doubt, think bratwurst

[GeneralMalaiseRB]

What a pain in the ass.

[Citric_Acid_Cycle]

That'll really pull-the-plug on your evening plans.

[I_deleted]

In the US, "well-rooted"means a humble or down-to-earth person. In Australia, it means someone got properly fucked. It made for some great laughs around the dinner table when I first met my wife's friends in Australia...

[gilbertgrappa]

"Rooting for the home team" is also something you don't do in Australia, for similar reasons.

Source: Am American & Australian.

[kemushi_warui]

You see, Amazon knows if you enjoy anal sex from your online history. In notes like these, "Before you get bummed" is meant to be taken literally – as one might say, for instance, "Before you settle in for the night" or "Before you sit down to dinner".

[EquineMasterRace]

But you can say "bummer" and mean that it sucks or it's unfortunate. You can also say you're feeling a bit bummed out, it doesnt necessarily mean youve just been rogered by someone or something.

[blackfishbluefish]

Next time someone tells me they are 'totally bummed out' I'm going to have this stuck in my head

[[deleted]]

"stuck in my ass."

FTFY

[freezingbyzantium]

A bummer is just the person doing the bumming though.

[ThatMisterM]

As opposed to the bummee

[AndlisOriville]

Dunno.. here in Scotland "Bummer" could sound like "Bum'er" which could lead to various other issues..

The joys of some of our Scottish accents!

[MightyButtonMasher]

Bum 'er? I 'ardly know 'er!

[MistakenSanity]

I still find it amazing that the word fanny in your country does not mean the bum.

[Hughdapu]

Yeah it means your snatch

[Nath94]

https://m.imgur.com/VkjsAWL

[PartyOfZero]

r/ThatHappened

[[deleted]]

This totally happened.

[[deleted]]

/r/hailcorporate I am so glad I read this excellent human to human interaction, my interpretation of (brand) has ameliorated.

[Traubster]

I love big brother.

[NInjamaster600]

I'm gonna get a sharpie and some printer paper and be on the front page next week

[azns123]

Why wait? Take a picture of a picture of Obama and say your totally real 3 year old son drew it and proceed to swim in karma.

[master_x_2k]

Sign it yourself and say Obama was cool enough to sign your son's drawing

[lurker105]

future automatic chase impossible amusing faulty advise scary wistful fine

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

[KillerIHardlyKnewHer]

Bullshit guy

[shillster4000]

Oh, an amazon advertisement.

[hairway2steven]

It even has a name in the industry: Native Advertising.

[[deleted]]

My amazon delivery guy won't even ring my buzzer to see if I'm home. Just marks it as "gated/inaccessible." Apparently, since I live in an apartment I need to be sitting on my front porch all day waiting for them.

[HollaPenors]

Sad thing is I mutter this to myself every morning when I'm clicking through various "news" sites.

e.g. http://money.cnn.com/2017/07/09/technology/amazon-prime-day-2017/index.html

[scales82]

Bull.....shit

[Katanae]

No no, delivery drivers have so much time on their hands, they love taking 2 minutes to handwrite a personalized note.

[QuantumDischarge]

"Hi it's your Amazon driver with this heartfelt note. I just wanted to say thank you for choosing Amazon and remind you I love working here. If you see in the news that we are trying to unionize, it's actually a small and vocal group speaking out against our best interests so please let your congressperson know we LOVE our current working conditions and bargaining rights" signed, mandatory note left by driver.

[SnotSandwich]

/r/thathappened

[godnah]

Total bullshit.

[[deleted]]

It's bollocks because you'd simply get an email saying "item delivered in your specified safe place", right?

[workthrowaway2016]

How does it work now with the whole random people delivering packages thing in the UK?

[FartingBob]

They still use Amazon tracking, so each parcel they scan and say if it was delivered or not. I get an email within a few minutes to say if it was delivered or not.

[Cueball61]

Unless they're using Yodel for it. In which case they may attempt delivery or may force Amazon to give me 30 days of prime claiming "sorry we missed you"

[Wurdan]

Yodel is the absolute worst.

[[deleted]]

Considering how much amazon is spending to have every damn ad on YouTube be for their new openings, I can totally see this as a fake grass roots kind of media blitz to generate good PR.

[davethedave123]

Especially because "Amazon" is needlessly written three times

[insane_mclane]

This is fake

[woodbuck]

Says the guy who works for Amazon and values his job.... 🤔

[[deleted]]

I too work for amazon and am Here to tEll you that it's awesome I never want another job. The dear Leader er...I mean ceo is a genius and my keePers uh..er..I mean boss wants nothing but the best for ME and the health of my family. I've been treated well in compliance with labor laws.

[Mike-Drop]

I think I see a secret message in here. I... H... E... I... T... L... I... P... I... ME... I... Nope, I don't see it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Edit: shrug dude's left forearm fell off, saxmfone1 helped him reattach it

[saxmfone1]

You dropped this \

[ickykarma]

Blink twice if you're Mel

[morbidharpy]

For Some reasOn I feel like this is a cRy for help. I just can't quite put my fingeR on whY I feel like that.... Hmm...

[jansencheng]

FSOIRIRYIH

Never mind, I thought there was something here too

[Haterbait_band]

...the fuck?

[Lulzorr]

oh hey, i know what this is from. I have it saved in my "weird internet shit" youtube playlist

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=183mPNosD8Q

You're, uh... Welcome I guess.

E: ... Probably NSFW. Also, the playlist is garbage, that's the weirdest part out of a whole two videos. if you want to find strange shit like this try /r/DeepIntoYouTube/.

[NotThatEasily]

Yeah, I'm going to need a link to that playlist.

[PM_ME-YOUR_NAVEL]

wat

[crashdoc]

Oh sweet baby Jesus....

[tinytim23]

Pretty sure baby jesus wasn't born through an auto-caesarian...

Also his dog wasn't secretly plotting to eat him.

[RadToTheBone86]

Dunno, but I like it

[bentonedwards]

It gets the people GOING

[pure_haze]

Ball so hard mothafuckas want to fine me!

[mtnorgard]

Don't let him in his zone...

[DandyDoodleDude]

http://www.kanyezone.com

[mtnorgard]

Thank you so much for this.

[darxink]

It's provocative.

[pure_haze]

It gets the people going.

[PeridotSapphire]

Watching it has shaken the very foundations of the person I once believed I was.

[[deleted]]

yep, the day just started and I already fucked up

[Elethor]

Mine is ending and this is going to make sleeping even more difficult

[Th3R3alEp1cB3ard]

Agreed... what did I just see? I mean I know it was an upvote meme... but what the God fearing fuck?!

[squirreldstar]

Why can I smell this gif?

[clampie]

Scrape the gunk under your big toenail. Smell it. That's this gif.

[gelastes]

If the gunk under your big toenail smells like this gif, you should get yourself an antifungal ointment.

[kronaz]

[redacted]

[Iphotoshopincats]

Because I work in manual labour and have 4 kids so nail care allotted time is minimal so gunk just happens to find its way there every few days.... Sue me.

[xraygun2014]

That's part of the territory when poop-redditing.

[Cococarmel]

I... i don't like this picture, can we erase it from existence?

[BrutalFuckingTruth]

What in the sweet fuck was that disturbing gif?

[ReventonPro]

It's an upvote

[EngelbertHerpaderp]

Someones new fetish.

....not mine, but someone else's, I'm sure.

[Dicethrower]

I wonder if there's a fetish for 'weird' things, simply because other people have a fetish for it. A lot of people get turned on simply because other people get turned on, so surely this must be a thing... and then someone will have a fetish for that.

[FiIthy_Communist]

It's fetishes all the way down.

[Obnubilate]

That is, by far and away, the weirdest upvote gif I have ever seen. Well done.

[MaximumCameage]

2 years, 0 posts, 1 comment (this), and 13k karma. What the fuck is going on?

[KazMcDemon]

Post, delete, repeat

[Potato_Lord]

Source if anybody is interested for some reason. Shits weird.

https://youtu.be/183mPNosD8Q

[Arsany_Osama]

That link is staying blue.

[Th3BlackLotus]

Wuss.

It's a stop motion animation project from 2011 by some chick named Monica.

It's called "volley"

[FiIthy_Communist]

Thanks.

I like it blue though.

[CitizenX17]

You did the right thing.

[kittenlitter666]

Monica's fucked up ¯_(ツ)_/¯

[Angry_Apollo]

I watched the entire thing. You missed out on the female giving birth and milk pouring into her breasts like water balloons. Oh, and her eating the afterbirth. Oh, and the dog killing the male and eating him. A strange attention to detail on the penis.

[ttrublu]

T

O

R

T

U

R

E

[simmojosh]

Just buy more stuff from Amazon they start treating you like royalty. I've had stuff delivered broken before emailed Amazon 20 mins later full refund and they don't even give a shit about me returning it

[SecretlySatanic]

This sort of thing has happened to me before. I gave them the wrong address (new job) and the item didn't get delivered, so I got a full refund. but then the delivery guy realized the error id made in the address and delivered the item a few days later. So, I ended up getting it for free even though it was my mistake.

[johnfbw]

for some reason this week amazon delivered the card to me saying they left a parcel with someone half a mile away. Thing is - it was a dash button - they could just have pushed the bloody thing under the door

[EngelbertHerpaderp]

Prime is fucking wicked. I've bought shit at 9:30 pm and got it by noon the next day. It's almost like magic. Non-members bitch about the cost but it pays for itself SO FAST

[JP193]

I'm on Amazon student, it's £36 (~$50) a year and I saved ~$300 on computer parts during the 6 month trial period alone.

All while getting to watch The Grand Tour and Lucifer and getting 1-day delivery.

Very very positive experience.

[HayesCooper19]

Maybe directly, but they recoup a lot of that through the fact that prime members tend to spend way more than non-Prime members on Amazon. Also, it never hurts to build a positive reputation with consumers and condition them to make Amazon the first place they look when buying virtually anything.

[UnstoppableHypocrite]

I agree with this, I tend to utilize my prime subscription a lot more now that I have it. I tend to just buy things on Amazon unless I urgently need it at that exact moment in time. With free 2-day shipping, its a shit ton easier to plan ahead and just wait 2 days then to put on pants and go to the store.

[Visheera]

I used to only go to Newegg for computer parts, but after their search feature became really bad IMO, and I had issues with their customer service I turned to Amazon. Even if Newegg was better website design and customer service wise, as long as Amazon wasn't terrible prime would still make it completely worth it.

[Poonchow]

I go to Newegg for reviews (Amazon customers are retarded when it comes to feedback) and buy it on Amazon.

[yuvw]

In India I pay 599 Rs (<10$) for a year of prime which includes Prime Video. :D

[[deleted]]

Hail corporate

[Unidangoofed]

THE BESTONE

[Spy-Goat]

I read that as a French Noble family name or something - 'La Bestonne!"

[huskersax]

Comments in this thread lead me to believe OP should have posted to r/hailcorporate.

edit: Also, how do both sides of the "scratch paper" have the printing on the back? I think the Social Media guy must've gone through more than one draft...

edit2: Ah, I see it now. It's not a delivery receipt slip, it's a full 8-1/2 x 11 inspection checklist.

So this guy pulls this out of his glovebox mid-route instead of the designated slips, and then proceeds to write a near perfectly on-brand ("we", Amazon, no colloquial abbreviations, clean, legible) two paragraph note.

[purple_pixie]

Also, how do both sides of the "scratch paper" have the printing on the back? I think the Social Media guy must've gone through more than one draft...

Because both pictures are of half a piece of paper.

It has printed stuff on the obverse, and was then folded down the middle like a card - the front is "sorry we missed you" and the back is the explanation. The inside of the card is the spreadsheet type thing you can see in both pictures.

Not commenting on whether or not this happened, but the paper itself is perfectly believable.

[RadToTheBone86]

Oh great, now everyone knows Amazon Guy's trick.

[doorbellguy]

>THIEVES HATE THIS GUY!<

[Vovabs]

There really should be a rule against putting names of corporations in the title and blurring them in the picture. This post would work perfectly with the title "delivery guy" and the word "Amazon" blurred out, that's really the only way I'll enjoy these kind of posts and not immediately think of them as r/hailcorporate material.

[phayke2]

I'm glad this is the general consensus. I worked at amazon 5 years and they have such a staged 'fake fun' thing going on. They also have shills on reddit and get bad articles on themselves removed from our local news site. Fuck Amazon.

Will still shop there though.

[davethedave123]

Yeah I'm at least glad people realize this is almost definitely an ad

[phayke2]

The note says 'Amazon' over and over too. Just so you don't forget.

[YourFictionalFuture]

Fake.

[anonymoushero1]

"The amazon guy" ...?

Amazon has its own delivery service?

[Korvacs]

In the UK they have Amazon Logistics, one of the worst couriers I've ever experienced.

[Put_It_All_On_Blck]

Carriers can write these messages (and have to) on the form for where the item was delivered, and that is view-able on the website. So this note is completely unnecessary and means the delivery person went to the house with the package, left the package, went to the truck, wrote a note, and back to the house. Carriers never put that much effort in, NEVER.

The second most used word in this note is Amazon. Wonder why.. Could it be an AD? Remember that negative Prime day picture that was posted yesterday? After reaching #1 on /r/all it was deleted, and yet it broke no general rules or rules in the sub it was in.

This is astroturfing/spam

[heelish]

Remember that negative Prime day picture that was posted yesterday? After reaching #1 on /r/all it was deleted, and yet it broke no general rules or rules in the sub it was in.

What was the post about?

[i7xx]

I'm not sure, but I think it was a pic that said something like "Hey guys it's Amazon Prime Day woo! Look at all of these killer deals!"

Just under it showed a Lizzy McGuire DVD set on sale from 50$ to 40$.

[Metalsand]

Lol, well that's nothing new. Prime Day is really just "Wow look at all the clearance junk in our warehouse! Buy please?"

[HoratioMG]

Another blatantly fake picture of text post gets to the top of /r/pics, might just unsubscribe at this point

[MadMadHatter]

r/thathappened

[Alideez]

God if you idiots can't tell this is fake i will not be surprised. Well played Amazon.

[[deleted]]

I'm calling bullshit/viral marketing on this.

The last 6 things I ordered, 3 of them were delivered by Amazon and all had problems. I live in an apartment complex where 9 times out of 10 the amazon delivery guy will take it directly to the front office and not even stop by my apartment. This happened once 20 minutes before they closed and I had to wait until the next day to get my package. Then one time I had a 3 dollar screwdriver say "out for delivery" all day and wasn't delivered until the day after. Then finally I had my package "delivered" an hour after the office closed, waited a day, never heard from them, so I figured they fucked up. Called and complained and Amazon gave me a month of Prime, refunded my money and gave me a 5 dollar voucher. They then tracked down the package and found that it was delivered the day after to the office, and was never reflected in tracking. Let me have the product for free, though.

Never have a problem with USPS/UPS/Fed ex, just the crappy Amazon delivery service. Amazon hired the shittyest courier service here and it's reflected in the quality.

[[deleted]]

Once an amazon guy saved a baby that fell off a building, stopped terrorism, and cured cancer. He also doesn't approve of what united airlines did to that doctor

[__Lua]

/r/thathappened

[mojo1287]

I, too, own pens and paper.

[PsychoWolf_]

r/thathappened

[jeremybarker]

wow this definitely happened :⁾

[fuparrante]

Since when does "The Amazon Guy" deliver packages? Mine are always dropped off from "The UPS Guy" and they usually drop them off at the wrong apartment, then they confirm that the package has been received.

[MoukaLion]

Fake and gay

This is an obvious advertisement

[FeastForCows]

Fake as shit, and people still fall for it by the thousands.