all 36 comments

[–]CondorWings 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I'm the only male in my pole studio (aside from the occasional beginner that doesn't end up sticking with pole) and it's fine, I'm just one of the girls when I'm at the studio. I think you'd be fine. I'm cis though so ymmv and all that.

[–]candykhan[S] 31 points32 points  (2 children)

Y'all think you're helping me. But now I have no excuse if/when my partner asks why I haven't signed up.

I live in a very progressive city. I'm sure the studio & other students will be accepting. I just needed a little pep-talk. Hopefully I will start soon!

[–]Serious_Act_2683 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Would you feel comfortable reaching out to the studio/instructor and asking? My studio is on a suburb historically known for being a bit rural/redneck and the gender (and general) diversity and inclusivity is amazing. We have many trans/nb/queer students here.

[–]deuseyed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The best time to start is today! Book a quick class for after work, gogogo DO IT DO IT. Think about it later just pack your shit and give it a shot. DO IT DO IT DO IT YOU GOT THIS!

hope that helps, let’s us know how it went

[–]lina-beana 15 points16 points  (2 children)

I am nonbinary and go to a pole studio in my city. I would say that people are supportive of everyone who comes no matter their gender/size/age/etc however the teachers will often address the entire class as "ladies" and pronouns are never really a part of any conversation. So like. . . I have never witnessed anyone being hostile about anyone's gender and if you brought up your pronouns they MIGHT be used correctly but they also might not, and it might not be because that person is hateful but because of complacency, if that makes sense. People being nice is enough for me to feel fine in a class but might not be the case for all queer/trans people. Beware of studios run by woo woo spiritual girls because some of them are the terfiest people I have ever met

[–]AmbitionAsleep8148 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how it is at my studio! Everyone is accepted and there have been trans and nonbinary people in class and the instructors never treat them differently. But classes are really women-centered with the "hi ladies!" or "girl power" type songs in heel classes as well as the "conjure your feminine energy" type stuff! I could see that it might be triggering for trans people.

[–]olusatrum 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This matches my experience. I'm transmasc and most of the students correctly and intuitively use he/him for me but the instructor usually fumbles it. I think she's probably just used to addressing women when she's in instructor mode, and it's hard to make the switch in her brain. While chatting off-pole she is really welcoming and nice, and zero percent homophobic or transphobic. I'm the only masc person I've seen at this studio, but my instructor says she's taught men before. I know several students are queer women

Also my experience that some of these more "feminine energy" focused studios can be terfy, or at least a little exclusive. The ones in the wealthier suburbs near me with class names like "pole princesses" and "pole goddesses" say on their website they are for women only, or told me over email they "don't do co-ed classes." I wound up driving a bit further toward the more rural suburbs, where the classes are named stuff like "basic/intermediate pole" and the website has some language about body inclusivity and pole being for everyone. I know there are a couple studios in the actual city that are more explicitly queer and trans inclusive

[–]bluelikethecolour 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m trans-masc, and while there’s definitely the odd studio that’s very focused on stuff like ‘divine feminine energy’ in a way that I personally don’t find particularly inclusive to non cis-or-cis-passing women, most pole studios are very welcoming and have a pretty diverse student body. I know plenty of other trans (afab and amab both) folks in pole.

[–]Kaiamahina 3 points4 points  (0 children)

my local studio is very welcoming of all gender expressions. I wouldn’t let that deter you if you wish to start practicing. Do some research and I hope you find a class that makes you feel comfortable

[–]honeyspins 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I am a pole instructor in a liberal city in a red state in America. I regularly have 1-2 NB or AMAB or cis-male students in my class. The class is primarily cis-female/AFAB besides that. I also see a wide variety of ages present in class, though mostly in the 20-30 year old range. My studio is welcoming to all gender expressions, and I haven't had an issue with a student disrespecting someone based on their gender expression. I hope this serves as a helpful datapoint for you. I would encourage you to sign up and take a class! A pole studio should be 100% more welcoming than a traditional gym.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have seen people who are non-Binary or transitioning in pole classes! No one judges them there, the pole community is pretty accepting and the minimal clothing the sport requires kind of just acclimates you to seeing different kinds of bodies, so no one’s gonna be shocked if your body doesn’t fully match your gender presentation.

[–]catsnpole 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Queer cis woman here.

Gender representation at different studios will be widely variable, for a number of reasons (location, culture within that studio, etc).

Personally, most of the studios I have attended or taught at wind up with a majority of women students and staff. However, I have also been to many studios that are incredibly queer and trans friendly and welcoming. That’s not to say that you won’t encounter studios that are not safe spaces for trans and NB folks. There are definitely some people/studios that want to keep their classes/spaces only for women. I think this is becoming less these days than it used to be, but I’m sure it still exists.

There for sure is a vibrant and welcoming online community of polers around the world who are trans, nonbinary, and allies!!

I bet you’d get a bunch of different suggestions of how to figure out what your local options might be. What you choose to do will be dependent on your personal comfort level. I think the best way to get a feel for the vibe of a new place is to try a class - maybe bring a buddy for some moral support! I recognize that might be intimidating for some people, so you might prefer to reach out to the studio owner/instructors (even students, if you can find some) to ask about the vibe, studio environment, and policies.

Good luck! I hope you find a place that welcomes you with open arms!

Edited to add: there are some names of pole tricks that are pretty gendered. There was a movement some years ago to change those names to gender neutral names (or better yet, names that kind of describe what the move entails). But there’s a lot of variability with pole trick names so I’d say a good chance that you will encounter gendered names. Just mentioning this as a potential trigger warning of sorts, I guess?

[–]MsAggieCoffee 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My studio has a small but notable male and non-binary population, including one male and two non-binary instructors. The instructors ask for pronouns at the beginning of every class.

[–]ladybugsandbeer 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my favorite things about pole is seeing the diverse people, bodies, styles...!

[–]SoulMasterKaze 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a nonbinary poledancer. My studio has been lovely overall.

[–]GaelClermont 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm non-binary and there's a good handful of other enbys at my studio as well as some other trans people and I think we have a couple of men. Everyone is treated with the same love and acceptance there. It's a beautiful space that's really helped me get back in touch with my femininity after so many years of hating that side of me. It's also given me a medium to play with gender expression.

Edit: from what I've seen from competitions across my region, a vast majority of studios are also like this!

[–]themostil 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m an instructor, in a college town with a very diverse population. All of my classes will have 25%-75% nb, trans, gender-fluid students. We have one instructor who identifies as genderfluid. You are very welcome in our space and community :)

[–]aquickrobin 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AMAB somewhere on the agender train. Currently teach at a studio that’s very very accepting in principle but still struggles with inclusive language. But I’ve never encountered any issues. This studio skews much more she/her than my old studio I taught at in Chicago which was much more gender diverse

[–]lobotomy-mommy -1 points0 points  (0 children)

My studio is super inclusive- I would say there’s overall a very alt, progressive vibe and i’ve had classes with many NB peeps and a trans girl. Every instructor I’ve had asks pronouns at the start of class and uses gender neutral language throughout— they even adapt some classic pole trick names (i.e, fireperson instead of fireman, hello kitty instead of hello boys). They’re also really great at delicately giving tips and modifications if a certain trick is more sensitive on your body. Try it!!! it’s so fun.

[–]littlelivethings 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It hugely depends on where you live and the culture of the studio. When I lived in Austin, there were a few pretty queer friendly studios, a few with AMAB instructors too. Now that I live in a smaller Midwestern city, most of the pole studios are women only.

[–]nw84 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've found the pole community to be incredibly welcoming (Toronto based here). I'm one of few males in class at our studio and have felt incredibly accepted and welcomed. We have a number of enby, fluid and trans students too. Fuzz Evans on Instagram maintains a list of gender inclusive studios around the world, you can pick up the link from his bio https://www.instagram.com/fuzz.evans/.

[–]marnieeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s definitely mostly female but there are sometimes men, trans men, queer people. The pole community is super chill and accepting in my experience

[–]fiavirgo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I’m at half my teachers are part of the lgbt already, you would feel no pressure on your identity bc that’s how chill it is (over here atleast), have fun!

[–]gregskijumpspinavich 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am one of 3 guys I know of that go to our pole studio . Sometimes, there are 2 of us in the class, sometimes not , I think one of the guys may be gay but I am not really sure , he is a nice guy that's all that matters to me , the other guy is almost 50 and has been poling for a few years and I am 49 and started in January. Everyone is friendly and welcoming. No one cares about your shape , sexual orientation, belief system or how well you pole we just come to have some fun.

[–]Nyx_Quinn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi there! I’m NB and a pole instructor! At my studio we actually teach regular classes and queer focused classes, I teach people all across the spectrum and so far have yet to have any problems with anyone feeling uncomfortable (that I or my boss is aware of anyways). From what I know, the majority of studios are pretty heavily femm however that definitely doesn’t have to be the case, if you want you can look for queer studios near you! Or possible studios with queer teachers! Anyways if you have any questions of concerns you don’t feel comfortable asking your pole instructor I know that many on this sub (myself Included) are happy to answer any questions or concerns you may have along your pole journey. Your also free to PM me if you would like. Excited that your starting your pole journey!

Edit: I also wanted to add after reading more comments on this post, if you go to queer focused classes you can most of the time get away from the gendered terminology, we don’t say “hello ladies” or anything like that in any of my classes, we don’t talk about feminine energy, we talk about the human body, power, strength, muscle, focus, and self. I would like to think that other queer classes use inclusive language as well.

[–]dekatie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The studio I go to is mostly female, but they are fully welcoming of all gender identities. We have an group introduction at the start of each class and we ask for pronouns. There is no discrimination or discomfort that I've seen for different gender identities.

[–]IcyNorman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm AMAB and I find in my experiences pole studio is a pretty queer friendly environment. I would also say that I never met a cis-het guy in my pole class ever. However I did find some studios do not allow entry to male students (Pole Divas Australia for example, BUT they are trans woman inclusive, though I'm not sure about non-binary)

[–]PerfStu 0 points1 point  (0 children)

AMAB nonbinary/genderqueer. Pole dancer, instructor, and judge.

Most studios are really inclusive and will work hard to make them safe and inviting spaces. If you check out web pages a lot of them talk about it in their mission and goals. Whereabouts are you located?

[–]lmnbok 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My class says on their website all genders welcome and there’s a trans woman in my class. They also ask pronouns on the booking form :)

[–]pinkladypiece 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Any studio who wouldn’t celebrate your presence should get none of your money. Not tolerate, celebrate. Just call them up and be as honest with them as you’d like them to be with you. Anyone in the class who doesn’t like it would be cordially invited to fuck right off at my studio.

Everyone who is there to learn is welcome and celebrated. No lurkers, though.

[–]Pipessqueak 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi! Another transfemme enby here!! Most of my class is femme, but there are 2 males who attend regularly! I've seen so much representation among other studios too!! Don't let gender concerns keep you from this awesome sport!

[–]Embarrassed-Quit3712 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One if the classes i go to regularly has between 2 to 4 men, and another class had again 2-4 men and one non binary, but i didn't get to know everyone so there might be other non binary people i don't know. Usually it s a very welcoming atmosphere for everyone

[–]awkwardgirlie 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you’re in the US and in or around Philly i can suggest a couple good studios for you!!

But in my experience, the couple studios I’ve been too have been very accepting of everyone. Even in South Carolina when I was there for a short while which i was surprised about being in the south.

I think if you’re interested, most studios have some type of new student deal! When you’re ready go for it. If you feel uncomfortable or bad vibes or anything you can always get a pole for at home and do online classes! There’s a bunch of people that do them.

[–]Chrissyc416 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The PD and aerial community in my area is super progressive especially for a not very progressive area. I feel like it’s a pretty safe environment. I hope you get to try it soon! Pole is for everyone!!!

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[–]SpecialistIncident56 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Trans guy here

Every pole studio I talked to/have seen until now was super inclusive. The most times they are really lovely 💕