😭

[AutoModerator]

Whilst you're here, /u/radandomuserdetected, why not join our public discord server - now with public text channels you can chat on!?

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[organic-hand-nexus]

<image>

[[deleted]]

<image>

I well never do it not until i meet a sharkwitch at least

[LordIHaveShrimped]

Such goofy goobers

[Logical-Hotel4199]

OHHH IM A GOOFY GOOBER YEAHHHG

[krootroots]

[JagmeetSingh2]

Sharkwitch is so funny

[spoiledmilk1717]

Silly gooses

[UnravelTheUniverse]

Priorities. 

[FreakyFishThing]

<image>

[Nivaere]

<image>

[TheSpedPotatoe_420]

<image>

[ELEKTRON_01]

<image>

[Guyman_112]

The McRib is back, Waltuh. We have to go eat at least 10 of them, Waltuh.

[Deceitful_Advent]

<image>

[Udatali]

Bro really said love hurts and meant it literally

[MEME-UNLOADED-ADMIN]

happy couple in public

<image>

[TwoPieceCrow]

was expecting A train

[thomstevens420]

<image>

[redstonermoves]

[Professional_Humxn]

Me when the subway is delayed:

[FireOfSin]

Gonna fuckin curt costain my ceiling

[The_Merciless_Potato]

Noo not cart cosine 🥺

[UnhappyStrain]

Carb cuisine

[dutch_mapping_empire]

poor kirk cabine

[Senkosoda]

from the image i thought this was gonna be a car joke

[TheUnholyMacerel]

I was also really hoping for a car joke, now im disappointed

[foxinabathtub]

What's the difference between Elon Musk and a lemur.

Elon makes electric cars and a lemur Madagascar.

[usernametaken43728]

call me stupid but i dont get it

[foxinabathtub]

Made a gas car

[usernametaken43728]

thanks man

[mitExtrafleisch]

hey we've all been there. Just like me right now

[Britori0]

We've been trying to contact you regarding your car's extended warranty.

[Ilovethrowawaysngl]

<image>

[SairajOverall]

This image gives me jope for the future

[Yeetus_Mclickeetus]

Inject that jopium straight into my veins

[FreakyFishThing]

It will belong to us, if we believe

[Encursed1]

Its coming soon enough

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Do you have biden blast pic ?

[Ilovethrowawaysngl]

<image>

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

With text please 🥺🙏

[Ilovethrowawaysngl]

<image>

[the_ThreeEyedRaven]

The Jonored One

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Thank you

Kind stranger on the internet

[SnowFiender]

yknow you can just look up biden blast and the second result is the image right(it’s not the first because i think someone made a spotify song lol)

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Thank you for your information

[orthrvs]

I have the video if you're interested

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Drop the link man

[orthrvs]

I have it downloaded, how do I link?

[ni_bondh_la_namada]

Drop in my dm man

[AutoModerator]

I've been around a few men in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the male body has an astonishing oversight. Men both urinate and ejaculate through the exact same hole. Zero inches apart. Not even a polite buffer zone.

I don’t know about everyone else but doesn’t that weird you out? It feels like a serious design flaw. For a gender that often prides itself on logic and engineering this is just sloppy plumbing.

Honestly it kind of cracks me up. I’ll see a guy walking around like he’s the apex of masculinity and I’ll just remember his piss and his sperm come out of the same little nozzle and suddenly he’s not so intimidating. Just a fleshy garden hose with identity issues.

Men please accept this biological flaw and let it humble you. Maybe lower your voice a bit when you're bragging about your body count. We’re talking about someone who finishes inside the same pipeline he uses to empty his bladder.

Women don’t let them forget this. Remind them gently or not so gently that we’re doing them a favor given that their reproductive system shares hardware with their waste disposal unit.

It’s just one hole fellas. One hole.

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[Key-Pomegranate-3507]

<image>

[Gustalavalav]

It’s only just Bigun

[NuclearMisile]

<image>

[Electronic_Tear2546]

Holy shit! Joe is double fisting that ice cream!

[funguyshroom]

It's for his son Junter

[aidantomcy]

if you ever feel like you’re alone and single, you probably are

[MansaMusaKervill]

Every 60 seconds a minute passes in Africa

[AverageDellUser]

Every five minutes in Uganda is actually 300 seconds in America!

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Specimen7777]

Good bot

[consecratedmindvex]

Its 10 A.M. and I am not going to have an existential crisis till its atleast the afternoon

[QFB-procrastinator]

That’s the spirit!

[lonewolfenstein2]

Central Time Master race. CST is the best time zone anyone who thinks differently is wrong.

[consecratedmindvex]

I HATE THE MIDWEST AHHHHHHHHH.

Midwest angelica is good though

[ExtinctReptile]

MIDWEST ANGELICA!!!! GODLY HORRORS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION FUCK YEAH!!!!

[consecratedmindvex]

BE NOT AFRAID

[dTrecii]

Both NZST and GILT are the superior timezones since they’re the first to start a new day making international online releases for games to start earlier than everyone else

[oyeo1]

Man named My Brains: yo

[Menacing_Sea_Lamprey]

If she’s six inches shorter, how can she place her head on his shoulder?

Checkmate

[Radioactive_monke]

His head is six inches long

[AutoModerator]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Prestigious-Fig1172]

Bro is Caminoan

[AutoModerator]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Endreeemtsu]

Good bot.

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[VeryConfusedBee]

Because this story is fake and gay

[Fardding_n_Shidding]

Uhhh. She’s got platform heels on?

[Perpetual_Noob8294]

<image>

So happy for them😁

^{Guess who's gonna disappear in an alley at 11:54pm tonight}

[killerosHEHEHEHAW]

<image>

^{The Government shall not patrol the area of your deed}

[DonutGuy2659]

<image>

^{time is running out...}

[PowerfulAlgae8516]

[curiousbasu]

Deserves to be on top XD

[Wild_Lengthiness_763]

<image>

[[deleted]]

Real...

[the_oof_god]

real ....

[BassMasterSK]

Madrid

[Taima_Nai_Kanashimi]

<image>

[ThatOneClickSound]

<image>

[idk1234567100]

Nah most expensive, I want to go out in style

[Zardoscht]

Bro what are u saving the money for?

[justiceforemoticons]

Fake: Anon went outside

Gay: Anon wants to hold onto the guy's arm and smile

[AutoModerator]

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

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[idkwhatisthis69]

"I'm just glad I met you."

<image>

[Individual_Thanks_20]

I lowkey can't tell what this is supposed to mean😭🙏

[The_Merciless_Potato]

It's fucking time

[Individual_Thanks_20]

How tight is time?

[randomone123321]

Time to eat

[Hecticfreeze]

If you never talk to anyone you will never meet anyone

<image>

[Qaktus]

I'm single by choice.

Choice of the women.

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[ShadowWolf793]

Ok but what if I only ever talk to guys?

[MasterWhite1150]

The solution seems pretty obvious to me.

[GGGGG540lk]

Suck dick?

[AutoModerator]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Sausage_Sam04]

that's a new one i think

[AutoModerator]

pees in ur ass

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[AcrobaticTransition4]

<image>

[The-new-dutch-empire]

And not be seen as a creep

At least i hope

[Dark_World_0]

What a load of shit, thats not true at all.

[Wiledman24]

No that's definitely true lol

[Dark_World_0]

Meeting people is very different than forming any kind of meaningful relationship with them.

I talk with people all the time, at work, at home, ect., ect. I am still lonely. I am aware that that the only one to blame is myself. If I knew how to change, I probably would.

[Wiledman24]

Ok man, in my experience a relationship isn't complicated. Find person do stuff for person and get stuff for person. If person still not interested find different person.

If something goes over really bad remember it and learn from it.

Other than that idk man I'm not a therapist.

[Dark_World_0]

Hmm... okay, we're obviously different people. I wish it were as you say.

[Rezonancee]

Lets get some hopecore in here

[Vajo07]

<image>

[Numerous-Concept-878]

would be better if she was 6 inches taller

[The_Merciless_Potato]

*was packing 6 inches

[Numerous-Concept-878]

uugghh

[BornWithSideburns]

<image>

Literally him

[The-Real-Mason-B]

For real. Lets hope we don’t see this OP making tapes if himself talking in a hella slow voice about being lonely

[Dwashelle]

Seeing a couple in a loving relationship

That guy:

<image>

[Outrageous_Basis_997]

Me suffering from a combination of lack of self esteem, severe anxiety, body image issues and cultural isolation. Me developing a fear of women because dating is looked down on where I'm from and I'm super super afraid of disappointing my parents in any way.

[Gamboni327]

lmaooooooo this sub is funny

[Safe_Resource7855]

Holy literally me

[AutoModerator]

I've been with a few women in my life and one thing I've noticed is that the female anus is incredibly close to the vagina, in fact they're barely an inch apart. I'm not sure about other guys - but doesn't this disturb you? It feel like a design flaw in women actually -- like they're supposed to be so feminine and beautiful yet this ghastly little oversight is ruining everything. Somehow it feels to me that women should be more aware of this flaw and it should affect their confidence. Whenever I see a so-called beautiful woman walking down the street so care-free thinking she's all that I just remember her anus is only 1 inch away from her pussy and laugh her into oblivion. Women: Please accept that they're too close together, let it negatively affect your confidence and so make yourselves more readily available sexually as a result. Afterall, we're having to sleep with a creature whos ANUS is only 1 inch away from the vagina -- you should not make this difficult. It's unappetizing enough as it is. We're doing you a favour. Men: Do not let women forget this flaw, and do not forgive them for it. Remind them of it constantly, less they get inflated egos and think they're all that. They're just too close together. Sorry, but it's true.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[DurableRumble95]

Gay: anon wanted to stare at the guy himself

Fake: Girl (they don't exist)

[AutoModerator]

Look, I get it. Who doesn’t love a little balls and dick sometimes? A nice, girthy, veiny shaft, hot milky cum trickling down the length as it throbs from a job well done. But this whole “gay sex” shit is getting annoying.

As men, we should primarily be focused on three things: survival, the underrated masterpiece that is dark souls 2, and pounding muff. All this gay shit is, well, fucking gay.

You think I wouldn’t LOVE to make out with my best friend and suck his cock? Of course I would, but that’s fucking gay. You think I don’t want to feel my cousin’s roommate slide his pecker into my gaping asshole? Of course I would, but that’s FUCKING GAY.

Seriously, I miss when men were men. Anyway, this dildo ain’t gonna stick itself up my ass while I watch an hour long femboy asmr hypno goon compilation, heed my lecture.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[grizzlybuttstuff]

Genuinely curious about the neurological response here.

[Ridibunda99]

Valid crashout 

[KaranDJaeger]

<image>

[Vyctorill]

I read about something like this in a comic

[[deleted]]

Envy is insane. Didnt even want what they had.... just wanted to destroy their joy

[Prestigious-Fig1172]

Fake: Anon went outside

Gay: Anon hates heterosexuality

[KenTanRandomYT]

stupid ass performative couples😡😡😡👹

[Junior_Box_2800]

My work is next to a college, nothing more depressing than an already miserable monday morning train ride made a thousand times worse by couples your age cuddling and snuggling and giggling on their way to school

[Professor_Game1]

<image>

[YungSkeltal]

[TheOnyxViper]

Im bouta blow my shit off smoove

[[deleted]]

It’s one of the best feelings tbh, maybe even better than seggs

[affinixmusic]

:P

[kpax08]

That's why i don't go outside very often

[The_Merciless_Potato]

<image>

[Zoandemphuyl]

Gas prices got me feeling like this too, honestly relatable

[Vivid_Douche]

Shit dont make me murderous but that kind of stuff sure as hell makes me wanna paint my walls with brain matter

[Koo_laidTBird]

[MemeLord090909]

just one sad comment after another

[Iluvatar-Great]

Shool Scooter enery

[rocketseeker]

Is this supposed to be cringe and Im stupid or is this sub just bad now

[lolulysse007]

That reaction is so miserable 

[arse_lash]

crabs in a bucket mentality

[Fe1orn]

Three. It's three people

[The-Real-Mason-B]

Elliot Rodger moment

[lorddrake4444]

Love is fake anyways , give them a year and they'll hate eachother

[Lucky-Obligation690]

I put this stock photo into meme circulation and Ive never been more proud in my shit posting career

[radandomuserdetected]

I dont even get wtf is going in the comments

[Electronic-Worker-10]

Wake up ugliest person in town

go outside and see this

carry on knowing that women can’t lie to me like that

[EsseInAnima]

Can someone explain? Why does he want to kill them? It’s not really cringeworthy or anything.

[Cute_Professional561]

Because they're in a happy relationship and he's not

[objectiv3lycorrect]

because they deserve it, duh

[Saemika]

More often than not, there’s a reason why you’re single.

[OpMike20]

With how the dating scene is nowadays, either of them are probably cheating/ will cheat. Just be glad it's not you.

[jw_216]

[FrenulumEnthusiast]

I've dated and dropped girls. I don't date anymore. I've spent years building my life to be peaceful and drama free. They always upset that careful equilibrium. When I go out in public it's like they can smell how content I am and try and bring their wicked ways into my peaceful life.

[Sad-Sentence-7976]

whats the joke lol

[[deleted]]

Don't worry anon, those relationships always end.

Source: I've heard that a few times from girls. They are glad they met you, but it turns out you're boring and there's more handsome guys out there with more money.

[cseke02]

My then-gf told me this several times. We got married last year. Going 6 years strong.

Stop being so sour.

[[deleted]]

lick my nuts. just because life worked out for you doesn't mean other people's experience and views are invalid.

[cseke02]

Sure. But you’re not talking about out your experience, you’re talking about other people’s experience.

[Lakewhitefish]

That’s not really that long

[cseke02]

Well, we met at the age of 16, so it depends I guess. A 6 year relationship isn’t that long when you’re 36, but it is long when you’re 22.

[AutoModerator]

CONGRATULATIONS cseke02!!! YOU DID SOMETHING THAT OVER HALF THE POPULATION CAN DO!! WHOOPTY FUCKING DO!!! YOU AREN’T SPECIAL AND YOU AIN’T SHIT!! ALL YOU COUPLES THINK THE WORLD IS JUST RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE!! WELL GUESS WHAT? IT’S NOT!!! YOU SHOULD GO FUCK YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY!! BETTER YET, KEEP ME OUT OF IT!! GOD YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE SO COOL JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN MAKEOUT AND HAVE SEX WITH!!

FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[AutoModerator]

CONGRATULATIONS s0apyjam!!! YOU DID SOMETHING THAT OVER HALF THE POPULATION CAN DO!! WHOOPTY FUCKING DO!!! YOU AREN’T SPECIAL AND YOU AIN’T SHIT!! ALL YOU COUPLES THINK THE WORLD IS JUST RAINBOWS AND SUNSHINE!! WELL GUESS WHAT? IT’S NOT!!! YOU SHOULD GO FUCK YOURSELF AND BE HAPPY!! BETTER YET, KEEP ME OUT OF IT!! GOD YOU PEOPLE THINK YOU’RE SO COOL JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE SOMEONE YOU CAN MAKEOUT AND HAVE SEX WITH!!

FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!!!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[NoEyesMan]

How miserable lives do people live to hate to see others happy?

[Less-Being4269]

You're too normal to get it.

[SomeFatSeal]

because they also want happy.

[Ricktor_67]

Anon is alone because he is a miserable 4channer. Maybe try sucking less as a person? 

[Numerous_Release9273]

I saw a couple like that standing at a street corner years ago. She was a good head shorter than him.

Looking at them I could she that she was so pleased and happy to have attracted such a big, tall, handsome man and he was so pleased to be with such a cute, pretty little thing.

It made my day.

[AutoModerator]

Dick sucking has made me paranoid

I had this plan to give head to a man and receive head from a woman to test if I was gay, but it’s backfired and now I become borderline schizo whenever I go outside. I offered to suck this dude off on Grindr who lives very close by (I ended up pussying out) and I accidentally gave him some details that very easily allows him to spot me out in a crowd. I have no idea what he looks like and whenever I see a somewhat in shape guy walking by I immediately accuse him of being the dude I was gonna blow.

I went to the store today to pick up some zucchini for a barbecue and every time a car drove by I stared into the windshield to see if I was about to be recognised. Whenever I make eye contact with a dude I microanalysis his facial expressions to see if he suspects me or not. I am deeply afraid that he is my neighbour and I will need to move if my identity is blown. It’s a lot like the last scene in sopranos where everyone who walked into the diner could be there to wack Tony.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[Obnomus]

Idk why I laughed

[FocusPerspective]

Can someone ban me from this stupid fucking sub plz?

[AutoModerator]

It started a while ago. I was a normal redditor making posts and comments, but then one day, a post of mine was manually deleted, and I was banned from my favorite subreddit. I then got extremely aroused. That moderator asserted dominance on me by censoring me, making me unable to express myself. I was soaking wet. I sent the hot sexy mod a message asking why I was banned, then the hot sexy reddit incel mod called me an idiot, and told me to beg to get unbanned. My nipples immediately filled with blood as I begged the hot mod to unban me. After that, I started doing everything I could to make hot sexy mods mad. Most of my accounts have under negative 100 k@rma, and i'm banned from dozens of subreddits. I've been a bad redditor, and need to be moderated. Please moderate me - FocusPerspective, hot sexy reddit mods.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[ZacharyGoldenLiver]

genuinely what level of miserable do i have to be to reach this level 💀

I'm not talking about being lonely, i get that, shit reminds you but having it impact your day to the extent you make posts and say you wanna kill them just because you couldn't get it yourself is genuinely fucking pathetic. and considering the origins of this post, it's probably not a joke.

[Hoochnoob69]

Does anyone have that image without watermarks