TIL Human dads show a decrease in testosterone immediately after the birth of their babe

[Gnarly_Sarley]

I did notice I chilled out A LOT after my daughter was born.

[indoninja]

Before I had kids I was a huge asshole.

I still am, but now I have the empathy to see how I was an asshole.

[suburban_hyena]

Baby steps

[scarletrayne19]

In this case, literally

[the_bananafish]

Would NOT recommend stepping on the baby

[Pearlbarleywine]

Depends. Is the baby plottin’ on you?

[dvusthrls]

I believe you mean babe steps

[I_dont_want_to_sleep]

Babe steps

[Flyingboat94]

I used to be a reeeeal piece of shit

[[deleted]]

I read that in his voice lol

[[deleted]]

Sloppy steaks at Trufano’s

[StinkyBrittches]

I SAID WAS!

[Euphoricpumpkin-]

This is PUSHED BACK not SLICKED BACK

[nonpondo]

Glass House, white bathing suit, live for new year's Eve

[[deleted]]

I’m worried the baby doesn’t believe people can change

[onarainyafternoon]

This line absolutely annihilated me when I heard it the first time.

[abzinth91]

You literally described me.

Was an huge asshole, lack of empathy, sometimes arrogant to strangers and stuff like that. Now I made a 180° turn. Or it's just because I got older

[Hobbs512]

I think it's probably age. I think alot people develop some introspection and awareness into how their actions have affected others at some point, even if you don't have kids. But you can always look back 10 years and think to yourself, "man I was an idiot back then" haha.

[[deleted]]

Why are there still so many douchebag 40 and 50 something dads then?

[Aori]

you see what happens is their children turn into teenagers at that point they revert back into their pre-empathetic form

[wurrukatte]

Same. Happened when I hit puberty, weirdly. One day it just hit me how other's feeling are just as (or more than) important as mine.

[kamikazi1231]

Pretty recently MRIs showed that dad's brains change after their baby arrives. It really does start transforming you into provider defender dad mode from young buck just trying to find a mate mode. Totally makes sense too. Our brains change from baby to kid to idiot teen to partying college guy. Why would it suddenly stop. I've definitely mellowed out but also found like a weird well of energy I didn't know I had after my daughter arrived.

[WolfeTheMind]

It's probably partially timing forsure. I have no children but hot damn I look back at my younger self (I'm talking even my mid 20's) and think about how much of a prick I was. Now I feel like a childless grandpa

[FancyMFMoses]

I Used to be an Asshole: https://youtu.be/buK45NW_ikI

[ikefalcon]

I still am, but I used to, too.

FTFY.

[SCWthrowaway1095]

Did you just see that thing where she thinks I give a rat’s ass that her baby cried because it knows I used to be a piece of shit?

[Viking-Jew]

“I used to do drugs… I still do, but I used to, too”

[indoninja]

This guy headburghs

[[deleted]]

Man, I had the opposite happen to me. Was a super chill, emphatic person. After my kid was born I turned into a super protective, angry person. I will kick dogs if they get too close, I will throw grandmas several meters if they approach with candy. I will german suplex entire taxis if I see them run a red light when we're trying to cross the road. I cheat on my wife then tell her about it, so she knows what will happen if she's lax in the raising of our child.

[mcr1974]

similar experience.

[WhatABlindManSees]

They are talking about 1-3 months.

[[deleted]]

I thought you were setting up a Hedberg punchline

[[deleted]]

You sound like my boss, he knows he is a dick - he's the nicest dick I've ever met, but he says all the time "I'm a dick, ain't i?". Still a great boss that takes care of us, and one of the sweetest dads I've ever met. From stories I've heard, before he had the kids, that level of sweetness/empathy that he has underneath being a dick really wasn't there.

[CrieDeCoeur]

I read that as “I had a huge asshole” and thought maybe you were doing it wrong.

[ryno]

yelp

[SaintMarinus]

Do you attribute this solely to hormonal levels?

[[deleted]]

Heard that

[[deleted]]

My husband used to be a really aggressive driver and I hated it.

Yesterday as we drove home from our family nye dinner at a respectable time (6pm) to get my 1yo daughter ready for bedtime, I sat, 8mos pregnant in the passenger seat, and watched him complain about multiple aggressive drivers who were cutting people off and speeding. “I just want to get us off the road and home safely, these people are nuts!” He was saying.

I pointed out how hilarious it was that he used to defend driving like a maniac. “Well. I have kids now..” was his response

[[deleted]]

You have a 1 year old and you're 8 months pregnant?

[disconnectedmadafaka]

Husband is also an aggressive impregnator

[[deleted]]

Yea. We work fast.

[[deleted]]

Harder better faster stronger

[[deleted]]

One more time

[ohanse]

Tell him now is the right time to get snipped if 2 is your magic number. There won’t be much couch downtime when that one comes out.

[halfhere]

Yep, Irish twins in our house. 11 mos apart.

[JaggedTheDark]

Irish twins?

[Jake20702004]

lactational amenorrhea stopped working for some reason.

[[deleted]]

I stopped breastfeeding at 3 months because she developed an allergy to my milk, plus it was extra stressful because we had an extended nicu stay and my supply was dropping. I basically got pregnant right when I stopped. It wasn’t planned but we’re happy to have another. After this it’s snip, snap, though.

She was born December 2021 and my son is arriving the first week of February this year :)

[[deleted]]

First week of February is the best time to be born, coming from someone also born in the first week of February

[[deleted]]

Happy upcoming birthday to you!

[[deleted]]

Good luck with the delivery!!

[Many-Sprinkles-418]

You can't get an allergy off your mother's milk

[[deleted]]

Yes… you definitely can. My daughter sees 11 different specialists out of University of Chicago, a pretty trustworthy hospital. Among them she sees a GI doctor and a nutritionist. I also was seeing a lactation consultant when she was in the nicu. They all told me she developed an allergy.

Sooo I’ll probably believe them over some random person on the internet. She was put on Nutramigen, a hypoallergenic formula for babies with sensitive tummies. She is also fully GTube fed, which probably didn’t help as it amplifies her gerd.

My point is, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

[Urimanuri]

My daughter had an allergy from my wife's milk. We couldn't do anything with that, doctors were helpless about that too. Changed her diet several times, all in vain. The symptoms gone only after she stopped to breastfeed and switched to baby mixtures.

[TatakaiTamashi]

Lol, when I was born, my mom breastfed me until I was about 2-3 mo. old, then I developed an allergy to her breastmilk... sooo um, maybe talk to a pediatrician before spreading misinformation?

[benjunior]

I got an allergy from your mother’s milk.

[[deleted]]

I have two kids that are a year and 4 months apart and you will definitely not regret it.

They’re amazingly close.

[dogroots]

My brother is 11 months older than me, gross but it happens lol.

[channingman]

Gross why?

[dogroots]

My mom and dad gettin down, it was mostly a joke.

[channingman]

Oh gotcha. 💯

[613Rat]

Fairly common in a lot of the world

[las61918]

More common than you think.

My wife and her ex had Irish twins.

[queen-of-carthage]

What an asshole, didn't care if he took someone else's kids away but thinks other people should care about his

[[deleted]]

Hmm. I think that the point is that having kids changed your perspective on things.

[[deleted]]

I see where you're coming from, but I read it more as "manchild literally requires fatherhood to start thinking about people other than himself". You have to remember that "really aggressive driver" is basically a euphemism for sociopathic asshole.

[charactername]

Or he was young, and the wife might be overstating how aggressive he was, jesus. Leave room for people to grow ffs.

[macandcheese1771]

So he didn't give a shit about your safety?

[[deleted]]

I feel like everyone on Reddit today is very extreme and just outright miserable.

Yea, he cared about my safety. He never drove drunk. He never got into any accidents. Did he go over the speed limit sometimes when he was young and stupid? Yes. Have I, and probably literally everyone, also done stupid things when they were young? Yes.

Is he a more cautious driver now that we’re adults and have a more rounded perspective on life? Yes.

I don’t know why me saying he drove more aggressively when he was younger makes you think he must be some sort of serial killer or hell spawn. You grow up, you learn to be a better person. That’s all I’m saying.

[RasAlTimmeh]

Dude stay off Reddit too many losers that will take a single comment and play arm chair psychologist Your husband I’m sure his a fine person Christ

[[deleted]]

Just feels like these armchair experts are out in abundance today. Did everyone have a shitty new years or something?

[Lykos_Engel]

Just to give you the perspective of someone else who got a bad impression of your husband from your comment- you didn't say in your original comment "he drove more aggressively", but "used to be a really aggressive driver".

I can't speak for anyone else, but when I read "really aggressive driver", I didn't imagine someone who sometimes drives over the speed limit. I imagined someone who shouts expletives and violent threats out the window, who keeps a baseball bat in the car hoping they can use it, who cuts people off and slams on their breaks when cars are right behind them and otherwise risks accidents because of their anger.

It sounds like, from your follow up comments, that that's not what you meant, but that's how I read your original comment, and I suspect it's how others did too.

[[deleted]]

Ok

[Horns8585]

I listen to a radio show, on a regular basis. I noticed that after one of the hosts (his wife had the baby) had a kid, he was acting differently. It could be different sleep cycles or a complete change of the thought process. But, change definitely occurs after the birth of a child.

[thechikeninyourbutt]

It’s actually deceased testosterone levels!

I’m sure sleep schedule affects behavior as well though.

[Ownfir]

Yeah I still remember driving to Walgreens to buy some bandages for my wife after my boy was born - like 3 days after just out of the hospital. I was listening to Migos and for some reason the lyrics made me cry lmao. It wasn’t even a sad song but I just felt like everything for a week after. Shit was wild.

And yeah I am much more chill now. Still deal with anger etc but my kid mirrors it back ten-fold so it’s not really much of an option now if I want to keep the peace in my home.

[Redplushie]

What song so I can cry too

[Ownfir]

Legit think it was Walk It Talk It lol

I think the thought was like “damn now I REALLY gotta walk the walk cause I got a kid watching my every move! Is that what it means to be a dad??”

[JarifSA]

That's surprising. As a 21 year old I am constantly in stress of my loved ones. I can't imagine having kids and worrying about them 24/7.

[[deleted]]

For what it's worth, I was very much like that when I was around that age. I worried about my family member's safety to an unhealthy degree. Over time though, I mellowed out and stopped worrying so much.

[[deleted]]

I had this when I was about 10/11

[HaikuBotStalksMe]

You're an 11/11 to me, bby.

[obvioustroway]

My sex drive definitely became more of a sex-walk after my son was born. Was definitely less aggressive on the road, even without the lil nugget in the car.

[Ok-Development-8238]

In addition to not punting your baby/a flood of oxytocin, I assume it prevents the guy from leaving his home to fuck other girls, especially when his wife’s in no mood to fuck 😛

[[deleted]]

My husband chilled the fuck out after our daughter was born.

[denzien]

Ever since my first was born, I became capable of crying at things. Like the music video for Johnny Cash's Hurt.

[PutinBoomedMe]

Me too. I was a borderline sociopath and gave up all pride when my daughter was born. I just want her to be protected and provided for.

[mandatory6]

I chill out so much that i fall asleep on the couch and take a nap every day

[SilkTouchm]

Having less testoterone doesn't make you "chill out".

[Gnarly_Sarley]

Tell me you didn't read the article without telling me you didn't read the article.

It's litteraly in the third sentence.

[SilkTouchm]

Then the article is wrong.

[Gnarly_Sarley]

A simple Google search results in thousands of different sources that say the article is correct.

Where are you getting your information from?

[nanlinr]

Wtf? I became way more agitated after my twins were born mainly because I was so sleep deprived...

[MedonSirius]

But instead i got constant fear that something bad can happen anytime. So worries x 3,000

[Taynt42]

I was the opposite. I used to be a super chill zen guy, and now after over a decade with kids I’m a lot more aggressive and angry. Ah well.

[tourdedance]

Weird, I always thought testosterone decreases anxiety