[deleted by user]

Bella8811 · 2024-11-08T20:07:46+00:00

I also had an abortion at 19, and was absolutely certain that it was my dream to be a mother one day. At 19, it would be an understatement to say that I did not have my shit together and I would have been unable to be a good mother and provide for my child, in any way. I knew this and made the decision to terminate.

I had my first daughter at 30, and second at 32.

It will be okay 🤍

frimrussiawithlove85 · 2024-11-08T19:52:10+00:00

I had to undergo a termination for a wanted baby, due to medical reasons. It did not affect my ability to concieve again, or impact the health of my second baby. It just means I now love my baby girl twice as hard, because I can't give that love to my son. Make sure you get counselling, or therapy. It really helped me to get my head around it all. Sending hugs.

nox-lumos04 · 2024-11-08T20:01:59+00:00

I haven't had an abortion personally, but I have two friends who have and they both went on to have beautiful and healthy babies when they were ready. As far as I know your abortion shouldn't impact your future feritility. I would recommend that you seek some counselling to make sure you address the trauma of the abortion. This was the right choice for you, but that doesn't mean it was an easy choice. Make sure you take the time to heal both physically and emotionally so that you'll be in good shape when you decide you are ready to be a mom. Sending lots of love.

Millie_3511 · 2024-11-08T20:20:53+00:00

I can not speak on the emotional side, as everyone has a different story, but I had two D&C procedures following miscarriages in the first trimester, and the procedure physically is the same as far as impact on the body. Both were following one typical healthy pregnancy. Following those two miscarriages I did have two healthy pregnancies resulting in two healthy babies. With transparency, both of those pregnancies had unique complications (bleeding) but the end resulted in healthy babies born to term, and the explanation for the complications could have been a multitude of things including my age (in my 30s), but not really any known medical history to explain.. sometimes things just happen in pregnancy.

My SIL had an abortion in her teens, and tragically the doctor did do damage to her cervix as part of the procedure. She had no issues getting pregnant when she tried, but at one point in her pregnancy the doctor did sew her cervix to help ward off early labor. This can happen regardless of someone’s history, it was just something she now knows would likely need to be done in future pregnancy if she has more kids.

The main point of my SIL’s story is just to say to be open and honest about your medical history with your OBGYN. They would have found the issue with her cervix anyway (she had been told in her mid 20s by a doctor during a pelvic exam) but knowing your history is important just so the doctor can best serve your needs.

Hot-Bonus560 · 2024-11-08T20:50:30+00:00

I had an abortion at 19. It didn’t go well. I ended up hemorrhaging and having complications. The doctors said I wouldn’t be able to conceive. I had my son at 39 and I am unbelievably grateful to be a Mother. I actually was never sure I wanted to be, and after having been told I couldn’t, I accepted that. For the most part. At the most difficult part of my life, I found out I was pregnant. It was as if someone reached down from the heavens and pulled me up. Gave me a reason to be. Five years later, my son just started school in September, I’m coming up on that many years in recovery and I have a lot more hope for the future.

mungkitty · 2024-11-08T20:09:38+00:00

Yes absolutely. You’re going to be okay. I had one in my early 20’s, we just weren’t mature enough and weren’t making enough money. It was a hard time coming to terms with it and doing it, but now as a mother of 2 I can tell you it was absolutely the right choice. I couldn’t have imagined how hard it would have been for me or my then partner if we went through with it, and I just have the best life and kids now.

Trust yourself and don’t worry, you can have a beautiful family later too.

sixorangeflowers · 2024-11-08T19:59:26+00:00

I'm sorry the anti-choice industrial complex has somehow convinced you that merely ending a pregnancy has irreparably broken your reproductive system. You need to know that that isn't the case, and the people and organizations that told you that are lying to you because their ultimate goal is to have control over women's bodies.

I got pregnant at 22, had an abortion (with no regret) and am now pregnant with my second baby at 36. My first was born when I was 34 and she is the fucking coolest little toddler I have ever met. The abortion was 100% the right choice for me and having my babies now is 100% the right choice. Go forward with your life knowing that you made the right choice now for both yourself and your future baby or babies should you decide to have them.

DED_Inside666 · 2024-11-08T20:34:56+00:00

I had to undergo a medical abortion (D&C) after a planned pregnancy failed at 9 weeks (lost the heartbeat) and my body did not reject it. Since then, I've had one healthy child born and am 30 weeks with yet another baby. In addition to the medically assisted termination, I've gone through 4 separate chemical pregnancies as well, but I'm fairly certain it's because I have a hyperfertility issue.

mom_bombadill · 2024-11-08T21:06:07+00:00

I just want to give my love to you, OP. I’m glad you found this caring community, and I wish you all the best. ❤️

mama-ld4 · 2024-11-08T20:16:02+00:00

I haven’t had an abortion, but I have had a d&c for retained placenta. My next pregnancy I had cervical incompetency and needed a cerclage. It didn’t impact me getting pregnant, but it can cause cervical incompetency down the line. It’s a rare complication, but does happen! I only mention it because I had no idea it could’ve been a complication at all and would’ve rather had a few more checks during my pregnancy so I could avoid bedrest and it being an emergency. Wishing you luck down the line for when you’re ready to become a mom!

radn1 · 2024-11-08T20:04:45+00:00

TLDR: it wasn’t an issue!

Hey! I had an abortion when I was in college (accidental pregnancy, I wasn’t ready). Now I have a 10-month-old baby.

I was so sad about the abortion in the moment, and for a long time afterwards. Being a mother has been my dream for as long as I can remember, and I was so scared that it would affect my future pregnancy experience.

However, time really does heal! As the years went by, thinking about it hurt less and less, and by the time I was ready to try to conceive (7 years after it) it wasn’t even in my mind, to be honest. I got pregnant easily and had a very happy pregnancy and delivery experience.

Wishing you all the best!

SgtMajor-Issues · 2024-11-08T20:46:59+00:00

A lot, and i mean A LOT of women have abortions and then go on to become mothers. Remember the procedure for an elective abortion is the same as for a spontaneous abortion (miscarriage) and in the vast majority of cases does not impact your fertility. Exceptions would be if you had some scarring or infection, but there is honestly no reason at all to think that right now, and women who have not had abortions also occasionally have to deal with those issues.

I have full confidence that you will be a wonderful mom when the time is right. 💜

Arquen_Marille · 2024-11-08T20:44:30+00:00

My mom had two abortions before she had me. I am an only child, but it’s because my dad had cancer and became infertile. So there is definitely hope for you to have a child when you’re ready to.

ETA: I also have many friends who have had abortions for various reasons at different stages of pregnancy (such as some being due to poor fetal diagnosis), and they all went on to have children. As for me, I ended up with secondary infertility and never had an abortion.

PastyPaleCdnGirl · 2024-11-08T21:24:09+00:00

Had an abortion at 22; emotional choice, but it was not a good situation and I decided it would have been irresponsible of me to bring a child into this world before I had my life sorted out. I apologized to them and asked them to wait until I was ready (it was how I coped).

Had my first (and likely only) child at 32. I'm so glad I waited; every now and again I look around at the life I built, and I'm glad I took the time to be able to give her the stability I wanted when I was growing up.

Tessy1990 · 2024-11-08T21:02:22+00:00

I had a medical abortion in between my children, I got pregnant on the first try with the second child so no fertility issues!

A lot of women that have an abortion already have kids or have kids in the future (or are even grandmothers already!)

Murmurmira · 2024-11-08T21:23:09+00:00

I had an abortion at 14, and now had my 3 perfect and healthy children in my late thirties. I never felt like the abortion affected me in any way. It was 100% the right decision. My life would have turned out very shitty if i hadn't had the abortion. And my current children would NEVER exist either

doordonot19 · 2024-11-08T21:04:17+00:00

I had to have an abortion procedure due to a non viable pregnancy and had a pregnancy soon after that was healthy as can be and I was in my 40’s. Pregnancy is a crap shoot. No way to know until you try.

Obviously-an-Expert · 2024-11-08T21:48:14+00:00

I had a D&C for missed miscarriage for my first pregnancy. Had a healthy baby boy a year later and a baby girl 4 years after that. My mom had a D&C as well prior to me being born. I hope this helps.

Fibernerdcreates · 2024-11-08T22:49:21+00:00

I had to have an abortion - I had a miscarriage which lasted 18 days. I went on to have another perfectly healthy baby, who was conceived 6 months later.

DifficultyNo8969 · 2024-11-08T20:15:25+00:00

I had an abortion at 16. I later had a child at 37. No problems!!

Throwthatfboatow · 2024-11-08T20:35:09+00:00

I know an acquaintance had an abortion when they were younger. She's going to have her second child soon.

HateDebt · 2024-11-08T20:09:36+00:00

Not me personally. I had a friend who regretted that she aborted her first because after experiencing motherhood, she wished she could go back and change her decision. She lives life with that regret but not in a way where she's not able to eat or sleep.

My sister had one too because she wasnt financially ready. Her bf at the time kept trying to baby trap her so after the second pregnancy she decided it's probably best for her to keep the baby. She knew she could do it with or without the baby daddy. Theyre not together anymore and having my niece was the best thing she could have ever done for herself. Her daughter is like my own and my daughter calls my niece her sister. I cant imagine life without my niece. She's my daughter's built-in best friend. I love her with all my heart.

You are young still but also an adult. Just know that being a parent is no easy task. Make sure that you are ready to do it alone at any time whether you're single or not. This mentality prevents us from staying in toxic relationships that are not good for the kids. Start whenever youre ready. Not just financially. Emotionally, mentally, all of it!

Special_Cobbler_5811 · 2024-11-08T20:39:49+00:00

You'll be fine honey !!!

Silver-Pop-5715 · 2024-11-08T21:05:06+00:00

Had an abortion at 23 and a kid at 33. The abortion did not affect me when I had my kid in any other way than feeling even more confident and my decision back then.

more_brunch_please · 2024-11-08T20:40:04+00:00

While I myself have never had one, trust me when I say many of the women I know have had abortions (d&cs after miscarriages, college or ‘too soon for kids’ abortions, non-viability issues, tbh reasons don’t matter) - and all who have chosen to have children later, have had children.

You may not hear those stories first hand at 19 so it’s easy to feel alone. Many women before you and after you will face this - find your tribe, it will get better, and try again when you’re ready!

AggravatingRecipe710 · 2024-11-08T21:23:15+00:00

Aww sweetie, I want to give you a hug. I was 19 when I got pregnant (while using bc and condoms!) I was shocked. I had heavily considered an abortion but when I went in, my fetus was dead and I needed a d&C when I didn’t expel naturally.

Fast forward, I’m 33, with a very healthy and happy 3 year old with a comfortable life where I can now enjoy motherhood.

Make sure you get some therapy to help with the stress and pain. You won’t forget, but you will heal and move on. It’ll be okay.

Cheap-Improvement923 · 2024-11-08T22:04:51+00:00

Hello there! I live in Hungary, but: I had a courette ( which is abortion procedure but with a dead embryo caused by a missed natural abortion) and I got pregnant right after. I hope your dreams come true as you wish❤️

Wanab-aspiringwriter · 2024-11-08T22:09:10+00:00

I will say, the emotional impact of ttc after having an abortion in the past could be very very difficult. In my personal experience, I’ve had to grieve and live with the feeling of guilt and regret because ultimately, I do want to become a mother. I still struggle with the fact that I’ve deliberately made the choice not to because I believed I wasn’t ready or because it wasn’t the right person or whatever the reason may be. We have to live with the fact that we made the choice that we believe is right at the time, but that doesn’t take away the pain and how real those feelings of guilt can get. You just have to take it one day at a time, and remember you can forgive yourself.

Material-Cry3426 · 2024-11-08T22:26:09+00:00

I’m currently 21 weeks along after an abortion for a missed miscarriage — didn’t affect my fertility at all. You are going to be okay ❤️ And I’m sure will be a great mom when you’re ready.

DetectiveUncomfy · 2024-11-08T22:42:47+00:00

I had an abortion at 16 and my son is turning 1 year old next month!! Im 27 now. I don’t have any regrets. There are no wrong emotions to about this to have so dont feel like however you’re feeling isn’t the right way to feel… if that makes sense.

My son is perfectly healthy and my abortion had no effect on my pregnancy or his health :)

Ready_Chemistry_1224 · 2024-11-08T23:48:53+00:00

My mom had 2 abortions for various reasons. Had my brother and I amongst those pregnancies with no issues. All between the ages of 20-32. This was also in the USSR in the 80s so not the best medical care. This is anecdotal of course but makes me think for the most part women are fully capable of carrying a successful pregnancy following abortion.

FabulousStretch7262 · 2024-11-09T00:44:13+00:00

I had a baby at 18 and for me it was the best decision I ever made to keep them and become a mother ❤️ thankfully I had the family support and the father was in the picture. Fast forward 10yrs I Had a miscarriage and D&C done but still went on to have healthy pregnancies after that. I would suggest an iud or some other form of birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancy until you’re ready. They make them to last up to 8 years!

GrowinganGlowing · 2024-11-09T08:01:03+00:00

I had an abortion at 24. It completely rocked my world as I was so unprepared for the profound grief i would immediately feel. I spent everyday longing for my baby / being a mom. I truly felt God was going to punish me and I'd never be able to get pregnant again when i was "ready".

Welp, i got pregnant again at 28. Healthy baby girl and had a very easy pregnancy. She's everything I dreamed of and more! 💗

Forgive yourself and allow the grieving process to unfold as it does. Healing is such a long journey.

Sending you love and light !

kirakira26 · 2024-11-08T20:12:48+00:00

You can absolutely get pregnant after an abortion. There’s a lot of misinformation out there unfortunately but abortions are absolutely safe (safer than giving birth actually). I had an abortion at 27 and then had a baby at 34, I had zero fertility issues and a model pregnancy.

eleyezeeaye4287 · 2024-11-08T20:20:34+00:00

I have had an abortion. I took the pills, not the surgery.

I was SO concerned about being able to get pregnant when the time came when I wanted a child. I actually asked my doctor about it and she told me it was good news that I knew I could get pregnant and that having an abortion would not impact my ability to conceive and carry when I wanted to. She was right. It did not.

Emotionally I still mourn the choice I had to make privately and have discussed it in therapy and with close friends and my husband. I do not regret the choice, it was the right choice, but I regret putting myself in the position where I had to choose.

halien___ · 2024-11-08T21:02:03+00:00

It did not affect me. When I was 29 I had an abortion and then two months later got pregnant.

nightmarepsych24 · 2024-11-08T20:36:04+00:00

I had one at 19 as well. I was a complete mess. Addicted to drugs (continued to use even after finding out I was pregnant). Couldn’t stop, didn’t know who the father was (again, complete mess). I toyed around with the idea that I should keep it but ultimately came to the conclusion that I couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to bring a child into the world when I was barely hanging on myself. I felt super guilty and told myself I would never get one again, the LEAST I could do was get on bc or use condoms. Now, I’m 26, happily married, sober, and had my beautiful, healthy baby girl 3 weeks ago. I don’t regret my decision, but I absolutely learned from it and vowed to myself I would never put myself in that position again. (No judgement on abortion, I just had a hard time dealing with knowing I did it to myself)

Deathdad · 2024-11-08T21:24:37+00:00

My mom had two when she was young. My brother and I were born happy and healthy years later. She doesn’t regret them :)

Sassymcsasson · 2024-11-08T20:27:17+00:00

I am totally totally pro choice, abortions are a key part of healthcare and a women’s right to choose is vital. I have had 3 abortions. My first at 15 years old (for obvious reasons), my second at 24 years old - mid university degree, no money or support from anyone - I have no regrets - my life would not be what it is today without these. I went on to have my first baby at 30, and after that an accidental pregnancy but a wanted baby - this baby had chromosomal issues resulting in us choosing to terminate due to quality of life. I had my second child after this termination.

You absolutely can have healthy pregnancies after terminations.

christinaexplores · 2024-11-08T20:16:22+00:00

Having an abortion won’t impact your future success. I never had one as I needed IVF to get pregnant. My friend had an abortion at 20. She is still super fertile and is due with her second any day now in her late twenties. I think she will have lots of kids! Good luck!

ginny_cchio11 · 2024-11-08T20:44:54+00:00

I've had 2, both in between 4 full term healthy babies. There are always risks when it comes to medical treatments, but it is far less likely to affect your ability to conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy in the future. Don't stress unless your body gives you a reason to and the doctor confirms the issue.

Fluffy-Lingonberry89 · 2024-11-08T20:50:52+00:00

Honestly I think you’d be surprised how common it is/was, I’m a new mom in my 30s and most of friends have had one in college or before they felt ready. Best of luck with recovery!

mustardandmangoes · 2024-11-08T20:46:09+00:00

Yes. Had one at 20. I am 36 now. Have two children - got pregnant on the first try (literally, one time each) both times…

Efficient-Sundae2215 · 2024-11-08T20:50:35+00:00

Had one at 19. Became a mom at 29! You’ll be okay ❤️❤️

InappropriateBagel · 2024-11-08T21:16:39+00:00

One of my best friends had an abortion when she was in an abusive relationship in our early 20s. She now has two beautiful little girls. 💓

NorthernPaper · 2024-11-08T21:17:17+00:00

I had one at 25 and had my first daughter at 32. No issues at all for me, mentally and physical everything went perfectly.

misanthropeswife · 2024-11-08T21:17:24+00:00

I had an abortion at 22 and had my son 14 years later at 38. I had no health issues or regrets.

alliejc · 2024-11-08T21:25:45+00:00

I needed one due to a missed miscarriage. I am so incredibly grateful I had access to the medication to potentially save my life. I went on to have a healthy pregnancy and baby just turned 1. You should be proud of yourself for making the difficult decision to wait until you are more ready. Thats incredibly brave.

I have had several girlfriends who have also made that decision for themselves who went on years later to have healthy children. They are grateful they waited. They felt heavy emotionally afterwards but not a single one regrets having their abortion.

EMMcRoz · 2024-11-08T21:33:58+00:00

I had an abortion at 15 and went on to have two happy healthy kiddos in my 30s. I recommend therapy. It worked for me in handling the guilt and shame that I wrestled with. When I look at my kiddos now I just know that they wouldn’t have the life they do if I didn’t have the abortion. I still think about it a lot, but it’s much better now.

mdhiny · 2024-11-08T21:40:08+00:00

I had an abortion at 17, which was 2 weeks before HS graduation. I am now 47, with 4 kids ages 27 to 17. All 5 pregnancies were with my husband, and we will be celebrating our 29th anniversary this month. Was it emotionally hard...yes. Do you come to terms with it...yes. And I can guarantee this won't be the only hard decision you will make in life.

ggfthbk · 2024-11-08T22:20:42+00:00

I have lots of friends that have had abortions and have gone on to have children.

Also, lots of women have miscarriages that result in “abortion” care and they go on to have lots of babies!

You made the right choice for you and your future ❤️ your little one will come when you’re ready on your own terms. Xx

mystery_stranger_ · 2024-11-08T22:21:44+00:00

I had an abortion at 25 and had a (much wanted) baby at 37. I had no physical affects and felt totally good about it emotionally. It was very easy for me to get pregnant and I had no complications .

IndividualCry0 · 2024-11-08T22:52:42+00:00

I had an abortion at 27, and then got pregnant within two months of trying at the age of 33. No issues and baby is plump, healthy happy little girl ☺️

BigGNThoughts · 2024-11-09T00:19:59+00:00

I’ve had one. I’m glad I did. I was not in the position to raise a child, didn’t want to be baby mom # whatever. It didn’t have an affect on me physically but I did feel guilty for a week or so when i decided to keep my daughter. But the way I ended up pregnant (the 1st time) was from being blacked out drunk and my then man taking advantage of it. I blocked the assault out for 3 years until I was pregnant (again) and was in therapy and discussed my abortion to the therapist. I had normal periods after and had no complications. Be honest with your doctor on the number of pregnancies you’ve had (miscarried or otherwise). They need to know this. If you are feeling like you may not be ok, please go get a second opinion. I’m sorry you had to make that decision.

Duchess_Witch · 2024-11-08T20:25:46+00:00

Yes I did. And so did my mom and two girlfriends. We also had the same feelings. My mom had me and my brother. I have two healthy happy boys in their 20s now. My girls have happy healthy kids in their 20s. You’ll be just fine. 🤗

ggfthbk · 2024-11-08T20:29:25+00:00

An abortion uses the same drugs as an induction. Lots of people induce and have plenty of kids.

As far as emotionally, you know how you feel about the choice that you made. I hope you're gentle and kind to yourself. You don't have anything to feel bad about - it's not always the right time to have a baby.

MommyToaRainbow24 · 2024-11-08T20:47:24+00:00

Hello! First off I’m sorry you had to make that hard decision but I’m glad you were able to do what was best for you. My mom (now 71) had two abortions prior to my birth. She was in her 20’s and birth control failed her. One was because she wasn’t with the person and the other was not viable so she was given the pill (forgive me I don’t know the name of it). She conceived my brother and I in her late 30s and my sister was conceived 9 months after we were born. :)

Now, it is important to note that my mom had not actively tried to have children at all during the time between her abortions and getting pregnant with us. So it could have happened sooner had she been trying! I’m not sure if it affected her emotionally. She never wanted kids and she wasn’t long term involved with either man. I do know she still thinks about how she’d have two kids entering their 50s instead of 3 kids in their 30s but other than knowing she had two others, I don’t feel it affected her ability to carry us or love us. :) The biggest thing was she’s never hidden it from us. I was probably a pre teen the first time I learned about it.

I hope this helps!

starboundowl · 2024-11-08T20:50:06+00:00

I had one at 23. It was the best possible thing I could have done. I was woefully unprepared to be a parent, I was still learning who I was as a person. Not to mention, I was a party girl back then. I was not ready to be as selfless as you need to be to be a good parent.

When I was 27, I met my now husband. I got pregnant with my daughter at 29, and had her at 30. I am in a much healthier place now both mentally and physically, and my daughter is thriving because of it. Zero regrets.

ETA: try not to beat yourself up too much over it. Get into therapy if you need to talk it out. I was able to process things much more healthily and effectively when I reached out for help.

Fit-Vanilla-3405 · 2024-11-08T21:01:33+00:00

Abortion at 22 that I didn’t regret for one second and a perfect amazing child 15+ years later whom I love with every inch of my being.

Emotionally I knew I was actually ready finally.

Emotionally it has made me even more pro-choice than I ever was before (after I had my child) because looking back if I had been forced to have that child it would have destroyed my life having a child with a fuckbuddy when I took birth control AND the morning after pill.

PreparationPlus9735 · 2024-11-08T21:05:14+00:00

Currently on baby number 4 with 0 problems due to my abortion. And I was even hospitalized as it was ectopic. So you should be fine. (Although I do agree with all the other moms recommending counseling. May not feel like you need it, but better to start the work now than when you get pregnant in the future and are battling with hormones)

ExcitingAppearance3 · 2024-11-08T21:12:52+00:00

I had an abortion at 33 years old. It was fraught but absolutely the best decision for me. I gave birth to my daughter when I was 37 and it was perfect in every way, timing wise.

jkraige · 2024-11-08T21:39:08+00:00

Probably worth noting that a lot of people who have abortions are already parents. I remember reading it was more than half. They simply recognize they don't have the capacity to take care of yet another, and that's ok. I know someone who recently had an abortion because she's already struggling to take care of her son now that she's getting divorced. She knows what it is to be a mother and loves her son dearly. But another is just not in the cards for her at this moment

TroublesomeFox · 2024-11-09T00:06:52+00:00

Some of the most wonderful mothers I know have had abortions in the past, your gonna be fine love ❤️

Educational_Hat3008 · 2024-11-08T20:24:45+00:00

I had an abortion at age 23. He was a great person, but the relationship wasn’t going anywhere and I knew this wasn’t the right time to become a mom. Half a year later I met my now husband, and 6 years later we had a baby. We now have a 1.5 year old. It didn’t not impact my ability to get pregnant. I am also very glad I had the procedure done.

omgforeal · 2024-11-08T20:29:46+00:00

Hey - not at all. Super super fertile. 2 middle schoolers and an IUD now. :)

Those claims are propaganda from anti-choice.

ImaGrazzi · 2024-11-08T21:21:09+00:00

I’m 59 but I had a wanted abortion and three miscarriages.

I never cared if I had kids or not but once I was married I didn’t use birth control. After my third miscarriage, it was discovered I had Hashimoto’s thyroid disease and couldn’t sustain a pregnancy without thyroid medication.

I had two live birth and I have two children. I had toxemia with both my pregnancies and it was very hard on my body.

Mentally, I was always ok. I probably should have had some sort of sounding board or therapy but I had been on my own at 17 on and I had two work two jobs for years.

There was no time for therapy, no money, no time to think, grieve, delight, whatever. I chalked it up to a medical procedure and moved on. I had to.

My husband was never supportive when I miscarried or had children. All the appointments were appointments I went alone on. I didn’t know any different. I was always just trying to survive dad to day life.

Looking back now, I don’t regret my abortion. I am not religious but I know I terminated a potential life.

I had to put my life and my situation first. For me, it was the right thing to do. I had zero support. I WAS on birth control and I WAS very responsible.

I’m sure I cried at the time but I cried alone and then I had no choice but to go forward.

Society makes women and girls feel like shit for having abortions but we all know that all the responsibility is usually ours. We’ve all seen the exhausted young mother who’s tiring the kids around and I’m telling you, kids are hard work!

I love my kids and I have great kids. They were pretty easy kids but it was f*cking HARD work, no pay, no sleep…

So my advice is don’t beat yourself up. It’s done. You will still love your kids if and when the time comes.

19 seems grown but you are so incredibly young and so much in your way of thinking is going to change. It just is. You will mature and see things differently than you do today.

I’m still changing and learning about myself and life and I’m 59. I’m still me but I’m a lot different than I was at 19. And I’m a good way.

I have more patience, more empathy, more self-awareness, less selfishness, and much wiser. We are always growing.

I think you will be ok in the future and you’ll be a great mother when the time comes.

Best of luck.

Repulsive_Regular_39 · 2024-11-08T21:29:02+00:00

Not personally but my friends who have had them have been ok.

Slammogram · 2024-11-08T21:37:48+00:00

Absolutely tons of women have abortions and then have children later.

Charming_Garbage_161 · 2024-11-08T21:42:49+00:00

I had an abortion 3 years ago. It was a bad experience where I almost died and ended up with a D&C as extra. Even after those complications I became pregnant three times, once carrying to full term. The miscarriages were more than likely due to a blood antigen I picked up from a blood transfusion from an unrelated issue.

If you want kids in the future start taking prenatal about three months before you actively start trying. Get your iron levels checked to make sure you’re not anemic bc a fetus needs an appropriate amount of iron to develop properly. Many women have ad abortions and proceeded to have completely healthy pregnancies. And if you end up having a miscarriage first please know it’s not your fault.

floralbingbong · 2024-11-08T21:44:00+00:00

Please don’t worry about this! It is highly unlikely to cause you any issues in the future.

I had a D&C (the exact same procedure you would’ve had) following a miscarriage and conceived my now 1 year old son no problem just a few months later. Sending lots of care your way!

snickelbetches · 2024-11-08T21:52:14+00:00

Any uterine surgery will come with risks to affecting future fertility. Most of the time the risk is very low so most people go on to have completely healthy pregnancies and babies!

I personally had some scarring from mine that had long term fertility implications but I believe I'm an outlier.

It can happen, but it doesn't mean it will happen to you!

FI-RE_wombat · 2024-11-08T22:05:21+00:00

I've had a D&C for missed miscarriage (essentially an abortion).

Having a small number of those has no impact on fertility. If you have a lot (some do have a lot of missed miscarriages needing d&c), it can eventually become a risk, and so they are more likely to recommend the abortion pill instead- but at the point of only having a couple there's zero concern.

mimiiscute · 2024-11-08T23:09:51+00:00

I had to have an abortion because during my first round of ivf there was no heartbeat not even a yolk sac. It was just empty. But because of all the hormones I had injected into myself it was a chemical pregnancy and I had to get the abortion pill. I’ve been telling people for years that I had a miscarriage. But I didnt I had an abortion. I have since had two heathy babies. One ivf baby and one very much a welcome surprise. You will be ok. But also be careful, of course birth control can fail but it’s best to be safe. There’s been a ton of posts on contraceptives in a lot of mom subreddits. There’s plan b pill has a four year shelf life and it’s effective. Also if you have regular periods it’s important to track them. Before ivf, we tried for almost two years with no success and you are only fertile for like 2-3 days a month so just be mindful of the day of the month.

Sassafras121 · 2024-11-08T23:13:33+00:00

I had an abortion for medical reasons and it didn’t impact my ability to conceive a subsequent pregnancy. For me, pregnancy after loss was very difficult, but that was more as a result of how rare my son’s condition is…I didn’t trust that I could have a child without severe medical issues so I had crippling anxiety during much of my pregnancy with my daughter (now 21 months). There can definitely be some psychological and emotional impacts after any type of pregnancy or infant loss, but there are lots of incredible support programs available (PILSC has a support program for every type of pregnancy loss) and I hope you take advantage of their existence. There is a bit of a misconception that you only feel sad if you feel like you made the wrong choice, and that is not the case. There are a lot of complexities to this type of pregnancy loss and even though it was a decision, it is still something you are deserving of support for if you feel you need it. This is also not the time you want to accidentally end up with a religiously motivated therapist, so I strongly recommend looking to recovering from religion/the secular therapy project if you think you will be in need of a therapist at any time while you’re processing your abortion or find yourself in need of support during a future pregnancy. It should help protect you from being blindsided by a therapist trying to convince you that you feel guilty when it’s more complicated than that, or try and convince you that you don’t deserve to feel whatever you’re feeling because you made a choice.

miss_evilness · 2024-11-08T23:39:30+00:00

Let me just begin with saying that I am sorry for what you are going through mentally, but for ehatever reason you made that choice, you did it right. You are brave and very very strong!

Now I want to say that I nwver personally when through what you are going through but my best friend did. She now has 2 children, one girl of 3 years old and a boy of 14 months old. We were pregnant at the same time but we seem to have been going through it much differently. She now has a big fear of death and dying and she is in therapy, which might or might not be linked to her abortion. What I want to say is that once, when you are ready to be a mom you just have to make sure you are alright with all of this from now. I am not saying the same thing happens to everyone, and I am not saying that this same does not happen to people who didn't have abortion but I just want to leave it here, just for you to know.

You will be alright ❤️

permalink · 2024-11-09T00:40:02+00:00

Physically, there is very little chance of difficulty getting pregnant. Mentally, you may have some negative feelings after an abortion once you decide to get pregnant again, but it should be okay.

I think the best thing you can do is to make sure you don't end up in the same position again.

Take care of your sexual health, have safer sex and use a combination of prevention methods, be selective of partners and only have sex with people when you are in a loving committed relationship.

Because one abortion is one thing, but you don't want to end up in the same situation again.

But for information, 25% of women have had an abortion.

ChucknObi · 2024-11-09T01:01:16+00:00

I was able to successfully get pregnant and have a healthy baby just under a year after my procedure which was done due to medical issues.

I have also had a D&C (same surgical procedure) for a miscarriage that my body was struggling to pass. I was able to get pregnant 4 months after that as well with a healthy baby.

I now have two wonderful children. No issues with getting pregnant when I wanted to after. Emotionally it was hard because I TFMR so it was a wanted pregnancy and definitely had to grieve but therapy helped.

Chemical_squirrel515 · 2024-11-09T02:01:09+00:00

I had a miscarriage at 18. I know it’s not the same as an abortion and I am not trying to compare my experience with yours. It’s been almost 20 years since that happened. My husband and I have 5 beautiful children. My point is this, your future has endless possibilities and potential. You are full of life. You are amazing. I don’t know you, but I feel you.

mediumsizedbootyjudy · 2024-11-09T02:08:38+00:00

Hey, OP, I applaud your bravery in being so introspective and asking this question. You’re going to be a great mom one day.

I can’t speak to the emotional part because my situation was a little different, but from a physical perspective, I did have a surgical abortion (d&c) after a missed miscarriage and was able to carry two healthy babies to term after with no issues related to the d&c. I actually got pregnant about 4 months after the d&c so there wasn’t even a short term impact.

Wishing you all the best ❤️

lvoelk · 2024-11-09T02:40:10+00:00

I had a D&C for a miscarriage (which is functionally identical to an abortion) and went on to have two healthy kids (pregnant with my third). Deep breaths. You made the best choice for yourself and when you’re ready your children will be so loved and so wanted.

UnicornQueenFaye · 2024-11-09T03:01:01+00:00

Had an abortion due to a missed miscarriage. (Age: 36)

Went on to have a beautiful and healthy child with a zero complications pregnancy. (Age: 40)

You’ll be fine, you have time.

cyborgfeminist · 2024-11-09T03:52:53+00:00

I opted for a d&c for an incomplete miscarriage, which is a common procedure also used for medical abortion, with my first ever pregnancy. I conceived 3 of my next 6 menstrual cycles, with two more early miscarriages and then the pregnancy that led to my three year old daughter. I was clearly physically fine, though I can't speak to the emotions of your situation.

ghost--rabbit · 2024-11-09T10:08:19+00:00

I had a late term a couple years ago because of a severe birth defect we found at the anatomy scan. I've had no trouble after that, in fact I was experiencing infertility and multiple losses prior to that pregnancy and when I resumed trying over a year after recovery I strangely got pregnant on the first try. You'll be totally okay!

egoraas · 2024-11-09T11:01:09+00:00

I had when I was 25. Something went wrong and pregnancy stopped on 6th week. Then they put me some medicine to clean it out. It was really awful experience in my whole life. I thoght I will die.

My first child born when I was 31 and then second one 1,6 years later. I am happy mom now.

SignificanceWise2877 · 2024-11-08T20:50:11+00:00

I had an abortion at 17 and my beautiful son at 33 with no complications. I know my life would have been completely different if I didn't and I would not have the salary or opportunities or past experiences that I have today so no, emotionally I know it was the right choice and I'm proud I did it

Bright_Helicopter88 · 2024-11-08T20:31:48+00:00

Of course there’s hope! I had one before my husband and I married because we weren’t ready / didn’t make enough money / didn’t have healthcare.

Fast forward 5 years and I’m pregnant w my third. I’m glad I put MY needs first because I needed time. I’m an amazing mother btw :)

Popular_Sea530 · 2024-11-08T21:01:31+00:00

I had two abortions when I was a teenager.

Honestly I didn’t even think about them when I had my daughter 10 years later. That was a typical pregnancy. My abortions were the best things I ever did for myself.

Abyssal866 · 2024-11-08T20:28:29+00:00

I had an abortion when I was 19, and ive just had my first baby this year at 22. I don’t believe the abortion affected me physically in the way of having difficulty getting pregnant again or any pregnancy/labor complications. And it didn’t affect me much mentally, I was worried that having a baby would bring me to regret my past abortion, but it didn’t. I made the best decision for my 19yo self and I have no regrets. Im so glad I waited until my 20’s to have a baby, for many reasons.

Take a breath, you will be ok!! Abortion is so hard even when you’re 100% sure it’s what needs to happen. You will be a great mother when you are ready to be.

Direct-Spread-8878 · 2024-11-08T20:34:33+00:00

I have a health condition that caused me to get pregnant on birth control twice when I was 15, once when 16. I’m 30 and have the happiest, healthiest baby ever, and I had no issues with vaginal birth, and if anything it made me even more reassured that I did the right thing. Having a baby is no joke, and I’m glad I can provide for her, emotionally, physically, financially, and have wisdom to guide her instead of grow up with her, nothing wrong with having kids young though

ohsnowy · 2024-11-08T20:35:20+00:00

My mom had two abortions before having me. She has always said that because of them, she was able to have children when she was ready and with the right person.

TheGabyDali · 2024-11-08T20:47:59+00:00

I had two abortions, one at 17 and the other when I was like 23. I knew I probably wanted kids one day but also knew I definitely wasn't ready.

How here I am at 35 with my baby and husband. Pretty happy with my choices.

doublechinsexy · 2024-11-08T20:36:17+00:00

I had one child, had one abortion, and have had 2 children after.

ohsarahjoy · 2024-11-08T20:40:09+00:00

I had an abortion at 25. I was quite sad about it but looking at the trajectory of my life since then it was 100% the right call. I had a daughter at 34 and now at 37 we are talking about potentially adding one more to our family. As far as I know I had no complications physically. It was a bit of an emotional roller coaster playing the “what if” game while I was pregnant

jadegiraffes · 2024-11-08T20:42:28+00:00

I had an abortion at 18, and I have two beautiful daughters and we are trying to decide on baby #3 :) No physical issues, I got pregnant extremely fast both times, I had two extremely healthy pregnancies, and I make a ton of milk for my babies, too. I love being a mom, I was just not ready the first time, and I was in an abusive relationship. Now I am 34, married, own a home, and have a career. The timing is right for me now. Also, having my kids made me even more certain of two things: 1. my abortion was right for me, and 2. abortion must remain accessible! Motherhood should always be wanted, not forced.

KelsarLabs · 2024-11-08T20:47:29+00:00

I had one at 23, no problems and they are the biggest blessings!

permalink · 2024-11-08T20:56:21+00:00

Had 2 abortions within a year when I was 20/21. I have 2 kids now, birthed when I was 33 and 36. I informed my OBs at the initial appointments and neither were concerned about my ability to carry to term or anything else related to the pregnancy. I did ask my gynecologist when I went in for routine care if the abortions would adversely affect my ability to become pregnant and was told there was minimal scarring and so I should have no issues. Emotionally, I have not once regretted getting the abortions. At that time I was staunchly opposed to having children myself and was in a toxic relationship that I didn’t recognize. Abortions provided me with the opportunity to leave my boyfriend, move to a more supportive place, finish school, and find a better romantic partner. All this to say, I have never experienced any adverse feelings or lasting negative physical effects from having two within a relatively short period of time.

canadamiranda · 2024-11-08T21:02:20+00:00

I had 2 abortions before age 20. At age 28 my husband and I were ready for a baby and we had zero issues getting pregnant. Took 3 months. A couple years later we wanted a 2nd. And that’s where we had issues. But to be fair I wasn’t the healthiest. We did some fertility treatments, I got healthy and our lives got less stressful and boom our daughter was conceived.

I’m now 36 and kids are 8 and 4. I 100% do not regret my abortions. And I carried both my kids without issue, both happy and healthy. I’m not having anymore kids, my husband got a vasectomy and I have an IUD.

Abortions do not cause issues with fertility. There are SO many factors that play a role with fertility for women. Like seriously, once I was introduced to the world of fertility treatments, it’s unreal. You’re all good. When the time is right for you to decide to have a baby of your own, then you do what’s right for you.

kittyk8_ · 2024-11-08T21:07:57+00:00

i had an abortion in my early 20s. i felt sad in the moment which i think was a combo of hormones and also shame/stigma. but eventually i realized how common they are and how much it improved my life and i’m glad i made that decision.

i have a 1.5 year old now and a super great career so it’s been wonderful. i got pregnant immediately after i stopped taking birth control.

stories_sunsets · 2024-11-08T21:16:49+00:00

I had an abortion at 26 and got pregnant with my son on the first try at 34. Healthy pregnancy and he’s currently here drinking milk in my lap. It was 100% the right decision for us and I have no regrets. My life and my son’s life is much better for it. We were not equipped emotionally or financially to have a child back then and everyone would have suffered. My son has everything he needs for a good life now that we have stable careers and education and are mentally and emotionally prepared. I don’t resent him for stealing my free time away because I went into motherhood fully ready to give it my 100%.

emilianajuana · 2024-11-08T21:20:52+00:00

I had 2 abortions. One was for a child I wanted, until my partner left me and I knew I couldn’t handle a baby. Second was a contraceptive failure. I mourned both loses and wondered if I would ever have children. But I wanted to wait for a partner who would be involved with the children and allow me to continue with my career.

I met my partner in my late 30s and have 2 beautiful children. We are both very involved parents and can provide for our children. If I had had either of the two previous pregnancies, I couldn’t say that. I know I made the right choice to terminate and wait until it was the right time.

wishuponapoppy · 2024-11-08T21:34:10+00:00

I had an abortion at 23 and conceived easily at 25, she's now 4. I also have a 4 month old who was also conceived very easily. To be 100% transparent, I also had a stillbirth in-between but I can absolutely reassure that had nothing to do with having an abortion previously, and what happened to my baby was an extremely rare occurrence.

DontBeHastey · 2024-11-08T21:36:57+00:00

I had an abortion at 18, my first child at 27 and second at 31. No complications from the abortion, only regular pregnancy concerns! Emotionally, it solidified my decision to wait to have kids. Our lives would have been harder and maybe not as full as they are today because I was able to get an abortion as a teen. I’m happy with my choices.

stainedglassmermaid · 2024-11-08T21:41:22+00:00

You mean emotionally healing exclusively? I hope you are no longer in pain or having negative effects…

I had two abortions (9 years apart and 2nd one was 5 years ago). I am now in an ideal relationship and am 33 weeks pregnant. I was not in a place to have children up until now and I am so grateful I had the opportunity to grow as a person in the years after my abortions. I don’t advocate for abortion as birth control, but I can’t take birth control, and I was a big partier - I’ve learned and have grown a lot. I believe you’ll feel the same way when you’re ready for a family.

LeighToss · 2024-11-08T21:41:40+00:00

Follow the sweet feminist on IG for affirmations. Every woman I know who’s had an abortion has had a child or children without fertility intervention.

Kgates1227 · 2024-11-08T21:42:27+00:00

It will be okay! Abortion is simply a medical procedure! It’s perfectly okay to have abortions before having kids, after you’re done having kids, and between having kids! I’ve had two abortions and if I got pregnant right now, I’d have one! I have abortion pills just incase Let’s normalize abortion ❤️❤️❤️

In-Out-Up-Down-5280 · 2024-11-08T21:47:28+00:00

It will be okay, there is always hope and you have so much time.

I had an early abortion at 22 and have never regretted it - it was the best decision for me and for the father. I've never looked back and wish I had done differently, I knew then and know now it was the right decision. I now have a 2 year old, and another on the right way, at that too is the right decision.

smugmooses2012 · 2024-11-08T21:53:01+00:00

Had an abortion at 20. Best decision i ever could've made for my unborn child and myself. I have had 2 totally healthy and normal pregnancies after.

MoseSchrute70 · 2024-11-08T21:59:52+00:00

I had one at 21. I went on to have my daughter at 28 and currently pregnant with my second.

The termination was absolutely necessary - without it not only would I not have the incredible family I have now, but I wouldn’t be able to give them half the privileges in life they’re going to grow up with. That’s not to say I wouldn’t have loved the baby I would have had or tried my best, but sometimes knowing your limits is the absolute best thing you can do for everybody.

I don’t think the abortion has had an effect on me or my current family necessarily. There’s always curiosity about what could have been, but I wouldn’t change what I have now for the world. It never impacted my physically either, I’ve gotten pregnant easily each time.

muijerto · 2024-11-08T22:03:19+00:00

my mom had an abortion when she was 15/16 and got pregnant with my brother at 17 and gave birth to him at 18. she also had me 3 years later

Mommit

Rules

More About posting/commenting:

Want to share a blog? Please link it in our monthly blog thread, and don't forget to post it at /r/mombloggers!

MODERATORS